beta'd by Alix33 and chaos2007

Chapter 13 England calling

She was numb when she'd left the UK all those months ago. Of all the scenarios she'd imagined bringing her home this was not one of them. Maybe it was the sense of invincibility that all children view their parents with, a naivety about the nature of the war or an obsession with Harry's role but her father's murder was not as expected as perhaps it should have been.

It was the end of March but the weather reflected her mood: grey skies with indications of a storm brewing and the spring breeze was more of a gale as she headed to her family home. Her breath seemed to leave her lungs as the house finally came into view. It seemed so long since the last time she was here although it was only a few months. She headed up the path wishing she was back here for a different reason. Stopping at the front door, she composed herself - trying to project a non-existent strength - before ringing the doorbell and alerting her mother to her presence. Yes she had a key but it didn't feel right to use it.

Tonks cringed as she remembered her agitation at seeing her parents during her last visit, the unwanted advice and interference that was eating into her packing time, now she wished she'd paid more attention.

Her thoughts went to her father: always the relaxed parent, the calming influence and the splash of humour to defuse the estrogen fuelled rants. Tonks wondered how her father survived when she was living under the same roof. Although she was loath to admit it she was, in a lot of ways her mother's daughter; fiery, opinionated, determined and rebellious any father's nightmare. add metamorphmagus to the mix and a handful was an understatement. Yet her father always fought fire with humour.

'oh what am I going to do without you daddy.' She thought as the door opened.

Her mother looked awful, as she expected given the circumstances, but one look in her mother's eyes and whatever composure Nymphadora had vanished. She always knew her parents loved each other after all you don't walk away from the Black family lightly but seeing her mum now was not something she was prepared for. Her mum was a shell of her normal commanding self, she seemed lost and Dora knew there was nothing she could do to ease her mother's pain she felt so useless. Charlie had offered to come back with her but she had refused. It was better for Harry that Charlie stayed where he was but at this moment she wished she hadn't refused. She needed someone to be there for her to support her so she could be strong for her mum instead of the wreck. With a pang she realized she wanted Harry but she did not even know where he was. The only reassurance was she knew wherever he was he was alive; the connection to his life-force she had created through his earring told her that much.

-0-0-0-

As April progressed the Tonks family had fallen into a routine of sorts although they hadn't received closure from a funeral as Ted's body had yet to be found by the Order. The war raging around them had forced mother and daughter to return to a slightly lacklustre business as usual. Travelling home after yet another Order operation she let her thoughts drift to her situation: living with her mother, unemployed, an enemy of the state, in a marriage contract to someone she now feared wouldn't survive the coming fight. On the plus side her father's murder and the grief and emotional need that followed it had forced her to overcome any remaining animosity she felt towards Andromeda surrounding the contract with Harry but she couldn't understand why someone who had sacrificed so much for love would force something that risked leaving her without it. Entering the house she now once again called home she went in search of her mother to reassure her of her safe return. She found her mum drinking tea in the living room seemingly staring into space again. Putting thoughts of Harry and the contract aside she joined her mum on the sofa and Andromeda gave the first inclination that she'd registered her daughter's presence by moving up to give Tonks space to sit.

'Hi mum, how's today been?'

'I found our wedding photo's today, … I don't know how to do this Dora your dad and I have been a team as long as I remember.' Dora gathered her now shaking mother up in her arms and joined her in tears.

Eventually they regained their composures and Andromeda spoke 'I know this is a bit unexpected but in the uncertainty of current times I want to make sure you know this. I'm sorry, Nymphadora, for not giving you the freedoms I and your father enjoyed. Recent events have made me realize just how much I've forced you to sacrifice by drawing up the marriage contract with Sirius and I am truly sorry.'

Dora felt vindication at the apology but she couldn't allow her mother to add another regret to her conscience. She was about to tell her mother of growing feelings for her betrothed, and how while she didn't find Harry in the way she would have wished she was glad to have him, when her mother began to speak quietly as if she was speaking a prayer

' I can but hope that one day you will get to experience what your father and I had,' tears filled Andromeda's eyes 'but as Harry is at the eye of this storm you may have freedom from this contract sooner than I could have imagined.'

Her words weren't said with malice or hope but with a finality that rocked Tonks to her core. Her mother's causal statement of Harry's likely demise from outside of her own fearful thoughts was too much for her to handle. Releasing her hold on her mother the room had suddenly become claustrophobic she had to get out. Rising from her seat she all but ran out of the house fighting the tears that were determined to fall passing the wards Tonks apparated to the first place she could think of.

AN/ Sorry for the delay I have not forgotten this story but it has been a little unloved by me in favour for RL pressures. I don't like this chapter. it's short but it gets us where we are going next and it's helped me get over the writing block. I particularity want to thank Alix33 for their amazing correcting skills. all story chapters have now been check and improved. chapter 14 is being written and hopefully will go up mid November and it's already longer than this!/ AN