TITLE: Into the Woods

CHAPTER/TITLE: Thirteen/ Dreams and Reality

RATING: T (just to be safe)

A/N: It might seem like Merlin is sort of overreacting. Maybe. But he is young and he has been through so much. I don't think it's a leap for some psychological effects to have taken place. Also, trying to bind his magic which is so much a part of him that it literally IS him could not have done much to help matters. So, apologies if you find this to be a stretch. Plus, head trauma. Plus, my story. Actually, a lot of the past few chapters were last minute additions. The story's pacing was quite a bit faster initially as by this chapter we would have already hit the climax, but people really liked the character interactions, especially Robin and Merlin, so I wanted to give them more time before...well..you'll see...*evil laughter* *Tom Hiddleston level apologies*

DISCLAIMER:I don't own Merlin or Robin Hood.

Chapter Thirteen: Dreams and Reality

Merlin didn't need a crystal cave. His own mind held enough visions for one man to bear. He could see the past, of course, but his subconscious also enjoyed gifting him with possibilities of the future.

The nightmares always found Merlin. Good days or bad, the came at the close no matter. But using his magic had awoken something so much more. Taking that man's life with his power had not only far too closely echoed a past event, but also proved his fears for the future.

His magic would be his ruin, and that of everyone around him.

"None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it."

Was it his destiny to guide Arthur to the throne and bring peace to Albion? Or was it to cause the suffering of those he held dear? The latter certainly felt closer to the truth. And he knew now he truly could never escape it.

Thoughts of Arthur dragged unwanted memories to the surface.

"I believed you. I trusted you and you made me look a complete fool."

"I need a servant I can trust."

"You can trust me!"

"And look where it got me this time. Get out of my sight!"

"Look, face it, Merlin you're living a lie. Just like you were here. You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Otherwise you'd tell him the truth."

How could he have expected Arthur to trust him? He was living a lie. They weren't two sides of the same coin. Sides of a coin are connected, are one. Arthur and Merlin would never be so.

"Whatever you think my destiny is, whatever it is you think I'm supposed to do, you've got the wrong person!"

Merlin was nothing more than a servant. A fool and a murderer. The only special about his caused others pain. And Merlin didn't think there was anything special about that.

"No one's like you, Merlin"

Hearing Gaius' voice, even in his head, just like Arthur's grieved his heart. His ties to Arthur had been severed. They had to be after what had happened.

After what he had done.

He deeply missed his friend.

But he also longed for his old mentor. The man who guided him, taught him, and sometimes just let Merlin shout at him.

"Do you know how many times I've saved Arthur's life? I've lost count - do I get any thanks? No - I have fought griffins, witches, bandits, I have been punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit, and all the while I have to hide who I really am because if anyone finds out, Uther will have me executed. Some times I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions I don't know which way to turn!"

"Do you know how it feels, to be a monster? To be afraid of who you are?"

And, oh, was Merlin ever afraid. He had no idea how true those words would ring out when he had spoken them all those years ago.

"He's dead."

And with those words, Merlin's world had come crashing down. He was dead. And it was Merlin's fault. It wasn't just that he couldn't do enough or save him. No, he had killed him. His magic had made him a murderer.

"This wasn't supposed to happen."

Useless words.

He gingerly turned the woman and gazed down at the stranger's stained skull.

It was happening again. His past was beginning to repeat itself.

Morgana, tumbling down the stairs.

The knight, his friend, falling backwards to his death, propelled down the stone stairs by his magic.

And then there were the nightmares that hadn't happened yet.

Fields and forests burning. Mountains collapsing. Thunder and lightning and rain pouring out from black skies. The ground shaking beneath his feet. The earth cracking, shattering. Entire villages and cities and kingdoms in ruins. All by his hand. His magic exploding out him. No control. Only destruction.

And death.

He remembered the wave his magic had created in the forest, the damage it could have so easily wrought, and it only made the fears more real.

Again and again the images assaulted his mind. Dreams fading in with reality. Unable to stop his mind, just as he feared he would be unable to stop his magic.

Darkness had descended upon the forest and still Merlin showed no signs of improvement. Improvement, not waking, because, not some minutes after dusk did the young man's eyes shoot wide open. He remained, though, unresponsive. Laying on his back, silent tears slipping down his face, Merlin appeared as though in the clutches of some sinister trance. He stared solely up at the black sky, but Robin was certain he was seeing things that were not in their physical world.

The boy was trapped in his own mind, held captive by some tragic memory. Paralyzed by pain and terror.

Djaq had given Merlin remedies, but none had proven beneficial in doing much more than calming his cries.

"I don't know what else to do," Djaq shook her head as she sat down by the fire, her gaze still drifting back toward where Merlin lay. "He would know."

"Doesn't look like there's much more we can do," John sighed.

"Have you made the arrangements?" The raven haired woman stepped forward from the shadows and into the light, her slender fingers coming up to caress the man's face.

"The King has agreed to come to Nottingham to attend the banquet at what he believes is the prince's invitation," Guy grinned darkly. "He, of course, was told that the feast would be a front, a disguise to distract the villagers from the true purpose of the meeting. To discuss you. He thinks you've been spotted in Nottingham. He won't know you're waiting for him right inside the castle walls. All is going according to plan."

"Good," she sneered. "It better."