A/N: This chapter is a bit dialogue-centric. Sorry if you don't like that kind of thing. Please review and let me know what you think.
)O(
She had witnessed demonic possession before, but never like this.
Connor was too young to control his powers, too young to understand that the creatures he dreamed of that offered him everything he could ever want had no intention of a fair deal. He was too young to know any of these things, and now he had fallen prey to a demon. It was the oldest tale in the book. Sadly, she knew how it must end.
"Please," the Arlessa begged. "Don't hurt my baby! Connor is still in there somewhere, I swear it! There must be a way to destroy that thing inside him without harming my child." Of course she would think that. She was just a mother desperate to save her son. She refused to believe that there was no longer any part of him that could even be called human. The Circle taught that once someone became an abomination, there was nothing that could be done for them, and they had to be killed before anyone else suffered at the hands of the demon.
The Circle wasn't always right, though.
"Lady Isolde," Cecilia said, "I will do everything in my power to save him. But...these things rarely end well."
"She's right." Jowan's voice cut in. "He's become an abomination. Supposedly, there is no way to be rid of the demon other than to kill the child."
"You...I brought you here to help my son, and you poison my husband?" Isolde wailed, eager to place blame on someone.
"What he did was wrong, yes, but he wants to help now." the mage pointed out. It wasn't as if the Arlessa was entirely blameless in this either; she had protected Connor, which was what any mother would do. But it had cost innocents their lives.
"You don't have to defend me, CeCe." Jowan told her. "She has no reason to trust me, and neither do you. I understand." She almost felt sorry for him.
Cecilia sighed and asked what there options were.
"Well..." Alistair began. "The easiest choice would be to...kill Connor. It's the only way I know of to deal with this, but I dread actually having to go through with it."
"Wait," Jowan started. "There is...another option..."
The other mage knew what he was referring to. He had showed her the old book, originally from the glory days of Tevinter, now covered in a thick layer of dust. He'd said it was fascinating, and she had agreed. They shared an interest in blood magic, the difference being that she was only interested in the theory, but not actually practicing it. She knew better.
This particular ritual involved sending a mage into the Fade to confront the demon that was controlling the boy. It meant the child had a chance, but not without the sacrifice of another's life-force...all of it, in fact.
Jowan explained this to Isolde, who, entirely too calmly declared that she would be the one to die if it could save her son's life.
"What about the Circle?" Wynne suggested. "They have a few mages left and plenty of lyrium. Irving is in your debt, Cecilia, this could work."
"Yes, but going that route will take something we don't have: time."
The strategies were on the table. Everyone had their varying opinions. Blood magic was supposedly evil, and it would mean Lady Isolde's death. But, at the same time, they couldn't afford to wait for the Circle to send aid.
Dark times called for controversial solutions.
And there was a small voice in her head arguing that if the Circle came here, Jowan's fate would be sealed. She couldn't let that happen, not even after everything he had done.
So Cecilia allowed him to send her into the Fade using the forbidden magic.
He warned it would be painful.
That was an understatement.
She felt the magical energy beginning to build up, but that wouldn't be enough, of course. Then she smelled the blood...
Cecilia's spirit rose from her body just as Isolde's was ripped from her own. She clung to that shining speck of light and slipped into the Fade. Then the Arlessa's spirit vanished, perhaps returning to the Maker.
Cecilia wandered about the raw Fade alongside dreamers and quiet, benevolent entities. Because she was not in the realm of a demon this time that sought to cloud her mind and break her will, Cecilia still couldn't see a thing.
Desire was waiting for her.
"No more games," the demon promised. She spoke as if she was bored. "You are in my domain. It is here that I am most powerful...But let us be civilized, hmm? There is no reason why we should have to fight. I think we can work something out that will make us both...very...happy..."
Cecilia doubted that very much. "What could we possibly have to talk about?"
Desire made a noise deep in her throat that sounded almost like a laugh. "We are all creatures of desire, no? The only difference between you and I is that I have the power to bring your wildest fantasies into reality. I could release the boy...for a time. And I can even restore your sight, if yo wish."
Cecilia scoffed. "First of all, that is not the only difference between you and I." she began. "Second of all, I declined that very same offer once. What makes you think I'll change my mind now? I know that there is always a price to be paid when dealing with demons."
"Ah, but you are a smart one. The boy made a deal with me already; as long as I eventually get what was promised to me, the bargain is fulfilled. But the contract does not specify exactly when this has to occur. He could live out a long and happy life, if I so choose. I could leave him alone for a few decades...and return to take what is mine later."
"Or you could just leave." the mage suggested. "You say you are most powerful in this realm, well so am I, demon, as a mage and especially as a thaumaturgist. I've danced with your kind before, and they were no match for me. What makes you think this will be any different? Do you really want to lose your life over a little child's soul?"
"Are you truly so unwilling to negotiate?" Suddenly, Desire was entirely too close to her. "What will it be, hmm? Name your price, don't be shy, I can offer you much...Arcane secrets, perhaps? The love of those around you? Or maybe...pleasure? I can take many forms, you know..."
Cecilia was determined to stand her ground. She would refuse any temptation Desire tried to persuade her with. "I will not gamble with Connor's freedom."
"Why so eager to save him?" the demon mused. "It is common knowledge that one who has shown themselves as particularly susceptible to the influence of 'my kind' as you say, are almost certain to end up in the same place. That is, assuming they can be 'freed' to begin with."
"He won't make the same mistake again." the mage stated. "And in truth, it's not Connor I need, but his father."
She felt Desire smile at that. "Ah, yes, the man my pet was so desperate to cure. I have sustained him this long, slowing the progression of the poison in his veins, but I cannot say what will happen should I have reason to leave them both."
"I'll take my chances. I'm giving you reason: leave or die." There were few things demons valued more than their own lives, if one could even argue that they were alive. Creatures like Desire also valued their station in the convoluted hierarchy of the Fade, and judging from the size of this demon's realm, she probably wouldn't be difficult to kill. She was smart enough to venture that Cecilia knew this as well.
Demons valued nothing in this world or beyond less than they did mortals.
Surprisingly, the demon left without a fuss, promising to visit Cecilia very soon under more pleasant circumstances. Yeah, that will be the day, the mage thought as she bid Desire farewell for what would hopefully be the last time.
It was just in time, too; Isolde's spirit was fading fast. What remained of it was drifting too far away for Cecilia to cling to its energy. Luckily, she was not tethered to the Arlessa by any sort of deep spiritual or mental bonds, and so she could not be dragged down. The mage felt it getting colder...and darker...until...
)O(
Cecilia sat up abruptly, shivering and gasping for breath. Either the latest encounter with Desire had rattled her more than she thought, or being so suddenly and roughly snatched from the Fade caused her body to go into shock. Probably the latter.
Someone pressed a vial into her hands, which she took hesitantly.
"'Tis just lyrium." Morrigan said. "The herbs I've added should ease the tremors and vertigo." Cecilia lifted the vile to her lips with shaking hands, drinking its contents. Morrigan continued, "I had to pull you out; there wasn't enough life energy of that insufferable woman left to keep you in the Fade a moment longer." The Witch paused. "Your friend would have given up every last drop of blood in his veins if that was what it took. Such a fool."
"Where is he?"
The Witch thought about this question for a moment, probably debating whether or not she should tell the truth. "Most likely back in the dungeon if they have anything to say about it."
Cecilia sighed. "I guess most of our traveling companions aren't too happy about my decision, huh?"
"That would be an understatement." Morrigan replied. "I, on the other hand, believe you did the practical thing. Perhaps not as practical as simply killing the child, and a great deal more risky, but there are certain...advantages to confronting your enemy directly."
"Even you know it's never wise to make deals with demons."
"Indeed I do." The Witch chuckled, then became serious. "I have no interest in following in my mother's footsteps."
Conversation died down after that, and the two mages fell into a sort of understanding silence. Cecilia thought about him. Perhaps Morrigan thought about Flemeth. For some reason, she found herself regretting everything she had said to Jowan in the dungeon. He wanted to redeem himself in her eyes more than anything. But what was the use of wishing you had done things differently?
"Do you think I was too hard on him?" Cecilia asked suddenly.
"You mean your friend, the blood mage?" Morrigan inferred, to which she nodded. "I have no idea. He made you out to be a fool, did he not? He betrayed your trust, even if he was only trying to survive. It does not matter now: we cannot alter the past. He must learn from his mistakes, and the same goes for us all."
Cecilia was momentarily stunned by the Witch's sagely response.
Morrigan left her alone soon after. Cecilia wondered just why it was she cared so much about what the others thought of her anyway? She had perfectly justified reasons for doing what she did, and that should be enough, but it wasn't. For whatever unfathomable reason, she needed their approval. Why couldn't it be enough that she was their leader? Why did she have to be their friend, too?
When the door creaked open, she was expecting it to be Morrigan, or one of her other party members come to express their displeasure. But it wasn't, in fact, not even her war hound. No, the aura was unfamiliar.
"Hello, ma'am." Connor said nervously. "Can I...talk to you?"
"Of course," she said, motioning for him to sit beside her. "And please, call me Cecilia. Both Grey Wardens and mages are notoriously informal."
"Oh." the boy sat down. "Everyone says you saved my life."
"Actually, I couldn't have done it without Jowan, and your mother of course."
"I miss her. No one will tell me what really happened, only that I'll understand when I'm older and that she isn't coming back." Connor was very quiet for a moment. "Jowan...He made Father ill, didn't he? And yet everyone says he's your friend."
"Well...yes, he is." Cecilia tried to explain. "He was my friend before that. But he did something very stupid and desperate that hurt a lot of people, including me. I was angry. I wasn't ready to forgive him. But I guess it doesn't matter now."
"Stupid and desperate..." Connor repeated. "Kind of like asking the mean lady to save Father even though she only wanted to make me do bad things to people?"
"Not exactly," she said. "You know what this means though, don't you?"
"You mean that because I'm a mage I'll have to go to the Circle of Magi after the Blight is over?"
It would be hard for him to adjust. It was hard for her. It's hard for anyone, it all depends on where you came from. Everyone is equal in the Tower, and the templars stand guard like suits of armor with the human insides scooped out. The Tranquil walk the halls like ghosts with the humanity literally stolen from them. She wanted to tell him this, but decided against it.
"Yes." Cecilia confirmed. "I'm sure you have questions. You want to know what it's like there and if you will ever see your family again. Am I right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She supposed she deserved that. "You'll make new friends at the Circle, and learn new things, like how to cast spells and shield your mind from demons." This was all true. Maybe he would even make a friend who wouldn't resort to blood magic and abandon him to his fate at the hands of the templars. Compared to that, facing a demon was a walk in the park.
"That's what the mean lady was." Connor realized.
"That's right. Des...That is, the mean lady is among the worst of them." she said. "It won't be easy, but it is possible to resist such temptations, and not all spirits of the Fade are malicious either. As for your family...Well, your father is a very wealthy and powerful man. I'm sure he will be able to pull some strings for you, even if mages do have to give up their noble titles. Supposedly, it's to make the transition smoother, but the real reason is because the Chantry wants to take away any voice the mages might have, especially among the nobility." Cecilia paused, having almost forgotten who she was speaking to. "Basically, you will never be arl, but you may receive a letter or visit from your father on occasion. Which is more than most mages get."
Connor thought about this, then asked, "Has your family ever sent you a letter or visited you at the Circle?"
"No." she admitted. "But they couldn't afford it."
"Will you write to me?"
That could be difficult, considering the blindness, but she could always get someone to write down what she wanted to be in the letter. Yes, that should work just fine.
"Of course I will."
"Thank you, Cecilia, for everything." Connor said.