Quick note: I know Ron seems to magically reappear in the room…he stormed out but hovered outside because he's a nosy git and overhead Harry mention Sirius and slid back in because he's not so much of a git not to be there for Joanna when this all came out!
"Joanna, are you alright? You seem rather distracted this evening. In fact you've seemed distracted in every session we've had this week." Remus' eyes were kind and full of concern as he examined her face. Joanna felt her face heat up and knew she was blushing. She shook her head and smiled at him, speaking only to continue practising the spell Remus was teaching her that night.
Remus raised a sceptical eyebrow but followed her lead. "Okay, the next spell that should come in handy is-"
"Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded suddenly, gripping her wand tightly by her side. Remus' gaze flicked down to its sparking end and reflexively tightened his grip on his own wand.
"Tell you what Joanna?" He asked calmly.
"About Sirius. About who he was, about what happened to him. Why did you keep that from me? You made it sound like he could drop in at any moment, like he was on holiday. But he's dead."
To his credit Remus paled significantly and looked ashamed with himself. He took a step towards her but Joanna stepped back, anger evident on her face.
"For the first time I thought I had family, I thought I had someone who wasn't part of Voldermort's followers, someone who could take me in and provide me with an escape from my father. You gave me that hope by not being honest with me from the beginning!"
"I'm sorry" he croaked out "that wasn't my intention, I swear. I presumed, foolishly perhaps, that Harry or one of the others would tell you once your family name was made known."
"Well they didn't," she responded stiffly, "I was only told last week after I revealed my mission to them. He was one of your closest friends and yet, when I asked you about him, you spoke about him as if he were merely an acquaintance; someone you knew of vaguely through the Order but not well enough to call him a friend. What else haven't you told me? What else have you kept? I know your biggest secret so why did you keep this from me?"
"Because it hurts to talk about him still." Remus admitted, "I have lost all three of my best friends and I was slowly beginning to cope with it, to move on, when you come in and start asking questions about him and bringing everything back up again. I couldn't cope with saying it out loud, it was easier to keep your mind off it."
"Is that all these sessions are to you? A distraction? Our time together is only a way for you to forget your pain? What am I Remus, a coping mechanism for your grief?"
"No, of course not. I genuinely enjoy our time together."
"I'm not so sure. Me turning my back on my family reminds you of him, doesn't it?"
"Don't be so foolish Joanna; while your actions are similar I would like to think I could see the difference between the two of you. Besides there are differences in your scenario to his, not to mention circumstances. Sirius left his family just as Voldermort was coming to the height of his power when his family made him choose. He left and had nowhere but James' place to go. You left of your own accord, you sought out Dumbledore and requested to leave, requested to be a spy. If anything your plan was more similar to Professor Snape's than Sirius' path."
"How dare you! Snape may have chosen to become spy but only after Harry's mother was threatened. His motives were selfish, he was perfectly happy being a Death Eater until that moment, whereas I was disgusted as soon as I was introduced to that world and way of thinking and was desperate to escape it as soon as I could. You know what I endured living there and while I wish I could have got my mother out of her situation as well as myself I was glad when my father made me choose because it meant that could no longer continue. And even now, I'm thinking day and night of how to free my mother. So don't you dare compare me to Snape when I'm nothing like him."
Remus drooped, ashamed at how upset he'd made her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I should have told you from the start."
Joanna stopped pacing and the rage she felt inside died at his tone, replaced instead with a new kind of grief. "Yes," she replied equally quiet, "you should have."
She left the office before Remus could speak or move again, allowing the door to click shut behind her. As tears brimmed and she furiously wiped them away, Joanna bumped into someone. "Sorry" she mumbled, distractedly, not looking up from the floor. She made to move around them but they side-stepped so they were in front of her again. Joanna made to move to the other side but, again, they copied her movements. Frustrated, she looked up. Draco stood smirking in front of her.
"Lost again are we Joanna? You really should let me take you on my private tour of the castle." He leered.
Joanna resisted the temptation to mock-vomit and smiled. "Not lost, I simply wasn't looking where I was going. If you'll excuse me…"
She went to edge around Draco but he grabbed her wrist at the last second and pushed her against the wall. "I like to think myself a patient person," he said, his breath hot against her neck "but you are certainly trying it. I will get you one day, whether you want me or not."
Joanna said nothing and was surprised when Draco allowed her to push him away and leave without any form of retribution. Anxiously, in case it was some kind of elaborate plan, she hurried straight to Gryffindor and sought out Hermione and Ginny.
"I need to talk to you." She said, cutting across their conversation, "before Ron and Harry appear. I don't want them knowing this. Can we go somewhere where we won't be overheard or interrupted?"
The two girls stared at Joanna curiously but nodded and followed her to the girl's dormitory. "What's wrong?" Hermione asked, "is it what we told you yesterday?"
Joanna sighed and fell back onto her bed. "Yes…no…oh everything is so confusing!" She cried out, pounding the bed in frustration. "I confronted Remus about not telling me about Sirius and we had a fight. But now I feel terrible…I think I have feelings for him. Feelings a student should not be having about a teacher."
Ginny giggled but Hermione, for once, looked unsure about what was being said.
"Hermione!" Ginny sighed, exasperated, "Joanna is saying she has a crush on Remus!"
"Oh!" Hermione gasped, amazed that such a thing should happen. "Are you sure?" She asked Joanna.
"It's not a crush," Joanna bit out at Ginny, "I think I'm falling in love with him."