Not much to say, so let's get started. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.
A Clock in my Head: Chapter 12.
(Once again, right where we left off)
A stunned silence fell over the campsite following Jefferson's rather shocking confession.
Janna needed several moments just to process it.
"You… have a clock… in your head?" the plump Filipina asked confusedly. "What the hell does that even mean?"
"Remember when I said all Stands come with some kind of weakness or drawback? Well, the clock is a part of mine." The older Stand User explained. "See, it's not so much a clock, as it is a digital readout. Think of it like one of those big countdown clocks that stores use around Christmas time."
"Okay… so what does your clock mean? What is it counting down to?"
"Well, I won't know for sure until it hits zero. But if I had to guess, I'd say it's telling me how long I have left to live."
A sudden chill came over Janna; as if an icy hand had just grasped her heart.
"And… how long does it say you have left?" she asked timidly.
"As of right now," Jefferson began as he closed his eyes. "Thirty-four years, nine months, two weeks, three days, six hours, and… eleven minutes."
Almost immediately the chill in her heart began to fade.
Almost thirty-five years.
Not too bad, factoring in his age and his vices.
And all things considered, it was a pretty long time.
More than enough time to…
"So, I guess this means you won't live past eighty." The plump Filipina said, trying to pretend that this news didn't rattle her. "Still, you've got almost another thirty-five years left. That's not too bad."
"Yeah, if all goes well."
"What does that mean?"
"The clock isn't omniscient, kiddo. It only says how long I have to live if I were to die a natural death. I imagine if something unexpected happened, like if I suddenly got shot in the head or struck by lightning, the countdown would automatically hit zero. Plus, there's lots of ways I can lose time."
"L-Lose time?" Janna stammered uncomfortably. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, usually the clock is pretty consistent; counting down one second at a time. However, there are certain… 'actions' that can take away large chunks of time all at once. One cigarette usually costs me about twelve minutes. And alcohol, depending on how much I drink, can cost me anywhere between thirty seconds and seventy-two hours."
All at once, the unpleasant chill from before returned as Janna suddenly realized what this implied.
"B-B-But you do that stuff all the time." She stuttered distraughtly. "You know all this and you still drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. Are you… are you trying to kill yourself?"
"What? No! God no!"
"Then why? Why do you do this to yourself?"
"Because it's the only thing that stops me from killing myself!"
Needless to say, that had been the last thing she'd expected him to say.
So naturally, it took Janna a moment or two just process this new information.
"What?" she said at last, sounding utterly stupefied. "That doesn't even make sense."
"Sigh. Kid, in case my story didn't make this clear to you, I've seen some serious s*** in my time. Stuff that would turn even an occult loving sicko like you into a gibbering bedwetter. I've got a million and one unpleasant memories tattooed on my brain, and the only thing stopping me from making it all go away with a .22 caliber pain pill is a daily dose of nicotine and booze. So the way I see it, whittling off an hour or two every day is a far better alternative to just ending it all at once."
"Yeah… I… guess that makes sense." Janna admitted uneasily. "But still, you're not alone anymore. I… I could help you work through some of that stuff. Then maybe you wouldn't need to numb yourself and you could live another thirty years like you're supposed to."
"That's a nice thought, Janna. But it doesn't work that way. Even if I could go cold turkey without blowing my brains out, there's no guarantee I'll live as long as the clock says I will. Who knows? I might wake up tomorrow with some rare, uncurable disease, or get runover by a car. There's really no way to tell. So there's no point in getting all worked up about it. Honestly, when you think about it, my life is no more in danger than anyone else's."
"I… I guess that's true." The young Filipina replied, starting to calm down a little.
"Of course it is. And besides, the drinks and cigarettes don't cost me nearly as much as…"
Jefferson stopped himself short as his face contorted into an expression that could only be described as 'Why the hell did I say that?'.
"As much as what?" Janna asked, already suspecting the answer.
"Uh… nothing. Forget I mentioned it."
"You were gonna say as much as your powers, weren't you?"
"No I wasn't."
"It costs you time to heal someone, doesn't it?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Jefferson!"
"Okay, fine!" the older Stand User confessed reluctantly. "Sigh. Yes, it's true. In order to heal someone, I have to give up a part of my remaining lifespan."
"How much?"
"That's not important."
"How much!"
"It varies, okay. It depends on how much aura I have to expend. Healing Ludo yesterday cost me about thirty minutes. But fixing up Diaz after his fight with the Diamond Dogs cost me two whole weeks."
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Janna asked, sounding both confused and angry. "If we'd known then…"
"Then you would've been hesitant to let me heal you." Jefferson cut in unexpectedly. "You would've tried to hide your injuries from me in a misguided attempt to safe my life. And in doing so, you would've left yourself vulnerable to our enemies. I couldn't let you throw your lives away over something as worthless as mine. So I kept that little detail to myself. No big deal."
"How can you say that?" the plump Filipina said in alarm. "This is your life we're talking about."
"Exactly. It's my life. So I can do what I want with it. Including shorten it to save someone else's." the elder Stand User replied bluntly, before allowing himself a moment to simmer down. "Sigh. Look, kiddo, I appreciate the concern, but let's face facts. No matter what you might think of me, at the end of the day I'm just a pathetic old drunk. And another thirty years isn't gonna change that. At this point the best I can hope for is a grave in a legitimate cemetery. But you kids, you're still young and… relatively untainted. You've got your whole lives ahead of you, and if I can give you the tools you need to survive in this psychotic, Stand filled world, then that's good enough for me."
"Well it's not good enough for me!" Janna shouted angrily. "You might not think your life is worth something, but I sure as hell do. I mean… if you died tomorrow… I… I'd be lost."
"You'd be fine."
"No I wouldn't!" she retorted sharply. "My mom is an idiot. My best friend is losing her mind. Star and Marco are just one lame excuse away from ditching Earth forever. And so far, you are the only adult I've ever met who really gets me. Without you I'd… have nobody."
Janna secretly hated herself for saying as much as she had, and yet she couldn't stop herself from saying even more.
"You might not think you're worth anything, but you're worth a lot to me."
"And to me." Said Ludo unexpectedly; catching everyone off-guard. "Why, I dare say you're worth at least fifty of me. Probably more."
"Aw, Caesar…"
"No really, I mean it. I've spent my whole life trying to conquer Mewni, because I thought it was the only way to prove to my parents that I wasn't the pathetic disgrace to the family they said I was." The tiny birdman explain, pausing briefly to wipe a tear from his eye. "But you, Jefferson. You actually are a disgrace to your family. You're a loathsome, pathetic shell of a man who sold poison to old people and sleeps in his own filth."
"Okay…"
"And yet somehow, against all odds, you have achieved a level of nobility, dignity, and honor that no one in my family has had since… probably ever. And if you could do it, then maybe there's hope for me too." Ludo continued, as a certain respectable timber started to creep into his voice. "Maybe… maybe I don't need an army of evil warriors or a kingdom of Mewman slaves. Maybe I just need to work on improving myself. And I can start by getting rid of this stupid Wand!"
Suddenly, the makeshift rod in his hand started to emit an eerie green glow that pulsed in and out; almost like a heartbeat.
"That's right, you heard me! We're through!" the tiny birdman shouted at the inanimate object as though it were a real person. "I'm sick and tired of you telling me what to do all the time! I was perfectly happy living on my own in the woods before you showed up!"
Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
"No, you listen! I am your master! You are my wand! And if I say we're not taking over Mewni then we're not taking over Mewni! Is that clear?"
Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
"What was that?"
Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
"How dare you!"
Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
"Oh yeah? Well, guess what? Now this is happening!"
Without another word, Ludo suddenly sprang up from his seat and ran towards the edge of the roof. Then, surprising everyone, including Glossaryk, he threw the glowing wand over the side, letting it fall straight down the mountain and out of sight.
"There. I did it." He said proudly while wheezing slightly from the exertion. "I feel so much better."
But while he continued to congratulate himself, Janna and the others just stared in confusion.
"Uh… Jefferson?" she asked, still sounding dumbstruck.
"Yes, Janna?" he replied.
"You know how Star's Wand looks like it has a piece missing?"
"Yeah."
"I'm pretty sure that was the missing piece."
"Yeah, I kinda figured that."
"So… think we should go down there and look for it?"
"Nah, I'm tired. Let's just leave it for now and worry about it in the morning." The older Stand User reasoned as he gave his arms a much needed stretch. "Besides, it's not like anyone's just gonna come along and find it down there."
End Notes:
Up next is the showdown you've been waiting for folks.
I've been wanting to write this chapter for so long I can hardly wait.
Until next time.
Peace.