Author's note: As with the last chapter, I don't trust myself to be the best editor, so maybe in a week I'll revisit both of them and fix what needs fixing.

It's been a long couple of days. Sebastian and Nanako have been bringing me up to speed, and not all of it is terrible. I peruse syllabuses and applications as they talk, intent on something to do. I need a job just as much as I needthe blanks in my memory filled; the blurry last three months of my life. Sebastian and Nanako take their time. They're understanding and answer all of my questions, but as with Miyuki I get the feeling that there are things they hold back. Maybe something they just don't know what to tell me about?

I even visit Hiyori's hotel, but to my surprise she is equally reticent.

Whatever. My room is a welcome solace, now restored to its natural state of messiness. Interspersed with my belongings are clues as to my recent whereabouts. Pictures, mostly. There's one of me and a pink-haired girl at the hospital, playing chess. A picture of me sitting clueless at the table, taken by Miyuki I guess. Here's one of me and Sebastian standing on a balcony together. It's actually really good. Whoever took it should be a photographer.

Here's- whoa.

That's…

That's Kagami Hiiragi, dressed in sportswear that leaves little to the imagination. She's scowling up at the camera, which has me giggling despite myself.

Something tells me that I took this picture.

I hunt around my room for any other traces of Kagami. A Kino's Journey light novel with Kagami's name written on the dust-jacket is in my bedside drawer, but other than that there's no other trace of her. It occurs to me though…

I fish out my phone and scroll through my text messages. There are so many from her! Did I turn my back and we become friends again? That's…pretty cool actually. I wonder why she didn't visit me in the hospital.

Kagami: I enjoyed having you over yesterday. Sorry if I scared you, let me kno if you want 2 talk

Konata: "Sorry, busy right now. Will get back to you later "

"What the hell?"

I scroll through the earlier messages, slumping against the wall and sliding to the floor. I read them, each message, one by one, for what must be an hour. We texted each other a lot it seems. I growl in impotent frustration, trying to remember and failing. I stuff the phone in my pocket and stalk to Miyuki's room. I don't care is she's asleep, she and I are going to have words.

Life sure does suck sometimes.

I sigh for the umpteenth time this week. Has it been a week? Christ, it has. It's just great that this whole mess would coincide with my break too. One whole week of moping around the apartment with Misao and Ayano worrying over me like mother hens. I'm not a child you guys, jeez! I just need some time to eat ice cream and burn it all off the next morning on way-intense runs.

I read up on law some more too. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to pursue it anymore, but really I need something to distract from the well of despair playing catch-up with my head, not that it ever works. Today was especially awful because I actually went to MIyuki's apartment and stood outside the door for thirty minutes rehearsing everything I wanted to say to Konata. When I had everything good and memorized my hand froze before it could ring the doorbell. It just stuck in mid-air and I couldn't for the life of me bring myself to do anything about it.

So I left. Life sucks.

I wonder what Konata's doing right now. Playing video games maybe. Or reading. It occurs to me that I don't actually know what sort of things she got up to other than anime and video games. From what I can remember of her before the accident, she's probably all grumpy, rolling up her sleeves to get on with her life.

Ha. Get on with life. I'll get around to that too, aaaaafter this tub of ice cream is done. And the next one. And maybe a few after that.

My phone buzzes. A text message.

Miyuki: Wanna grab lunch?

*Sigh* Miyuki. I suppose there are worse things I could be doing than letting a gorgeous pinkette buy me expensive food.

An hour later and I'm sitting in some swanky joint with a bloody steak lovingly laid out on a fancy rectangular plate. A glass of wine sits half-drank to the side. It's not my first helping either. I told the waiter to leave the bottle. It's half-empty and Miyuki hasn't so much as touched it.

"Not going to order for me again Miyuki? I'm surprised"

"I think the last thing you need right now is me making decisions for you"

"Well shit it's not like I ever even gave a crap. I make lame decisions. We all know this. Most of the time you're there to enable me or change my mind"

"I had no idea that was the arrangement"

"Well it was. And you've done a shit job lately"

She sighs, which is her way of letting me know that we're cutting the crap. "Are you okay Kagami?"

I consider flying off the handle, but I don't have the energy. Instead I down the rest of my wine and can't think of anything better to say than "Bluh"

"I'll take that as a "no" then"

"Correct. More correct things has not been said ever"

"Aaaaand your drunk. This didn't go at all like I wanted it to"

"Oooooh?" I say suggestively, "what, exactly, were you planning Ms. Takara? Were you going to take advantage? Gasp! Is this why been plying me with wine?"

"You plied yourself with wine Kagami"

"Details," I get up and pat my stomach, "well let's go"

"What?"

"We're going to go have angry sex now. Like we used to after we broke up. Only instead I'll be sad and you'll be…I don't know. Naked, probably"

Miyuki doesn't rise to the occasion. She doesn't get mad. She doesn't get upset. She just looks at me with those pitying eyes I've been getting from Misao and Ayano all week. This doesn't mean she goes soft on me either, "Are you done acting like a child? You aren't even that drunk are you?"

As it turns out, I'm not.

"I get that you're upset, but you haven't even bothered to talk to her yet"

How can I talk to her!? What can I even say? Hey Konata, we had sex a bunch of times but you probably don't remember. Yeah, if that doesn't make me sound like a date rapist then I don't know what will. To Miyuki I don't say anything. I just sit back down and dig into my steak and try not to feel pathetic.

"I know you were at the apartment today," her voice is much kinder. There it is. Now I feel pathetic.

"Great," I mutter, dropping my utensils and collecting my head in my hands.

There are a million things she could say right now, but she surprises me. "What am I going to do with you?" She asks. I look up in surprise and she just smiles at me, not judging. A laugh snorts its way of my throat, and I smile back. When I'm done laughing I mumble an apology for acting like an ass. "What are friends for?" She asks, and a piece of the world feels like it's righted itself.

Vacation's over and I'm back in school. I've dropped out of most of my law classes. I didn't really need them to graduate anyway. It opens up room for photography, as well as a few pointless, but fun, electives. Tsukasa supports my decision, which is a huge plus. Mom and Dad weren't very excited about, it but once I held up my last paycheck to the webcam they acceded that maybe I'm onto something with this whole photography business.

All in all, I think I'm getting on in life.

As if reflecting this, the sun is out and the day is clear. A pleasant breeze blows through my hair, and in the distance someone waves hi to me. I wave back with a smile, not a clue at to who that person is.

And then I bump into Konata Izumi.

She's looking right at me, and once my eyes meet hers it's like I'm caught in a tractor beam. I can't look away, and I can't just walk by like I haven't seen her. She's wearing one of her hoodies and a skirt and she looks so adorable that it's actually an effort not to hug her on the spot.

Like I used to be able to.

Oh god this is going to be entirely new echelons of awkward.

"Konata, hey"

I don't know how she does it but she summons a genuine yet forced smile, "What's up?"

It's just like our old conversations. The small talk that didn't lead anywhere. And there's the awkward silence, right on cue. Thankfully she looks as uncomfortable as I feel; not entirely sure of herself.

"How've you been since the, uh, whole head thing?" If that sentence was any less cobbled together it wouldn't have made sense at all.

"Oh, good. My doctor doesn't foresee any problems, but just in case, he's monitoring my health remotely." She indicates a metal anklet above her left foot. It looks high-tech.

"Oh jeez, is it serious?"

"I don't think so. They just want to keep an eye on me. Apparently this is the closest they can get to keeping me in the hospital without actually fucking keeping me in the hospital," she laughs nervously.

"That's good, you can never be too careful I guess"

"Heh, yeah"

We clear our throats simultaneously, and one of us tries a laugh that ends in self-conscious head-scratching. It's obvious that she isn't too sure of herself, though that does nothing to ease my own nerves.

"So," I begin, "I guess I'll get going then." And as I say this I keep asking myself whatareyoudoing whatareyoudoing whatareyoudoing whatareyoudoing? But I just can't stand here and muddle through another conversation with this stranger. Not without trampling all over my own heart.

"Oh, uh, okay," she looks put-out and her brow furrows as I move past.

With one last look I smile at her pleasantly. Not a genuine smile but a socially polite one that's feels so fake that I may as well have painted it on. Each step I take feels like the closing sibilance of a particularly strange story that is this chapter of my life. My heart beats a dull thump against the lining of my ribs, stretching against the limits of my body like a long exhalation.

"Hey!"

I take a few faltering steps before stopping.

"Wait a minute!" She yells. I hear the rushed footfalls of her running, drawing near, grabbing my wrist and gripping it hard. "Is that really all you have to say to me?"

Her anger dissolves the barrier between us and I crack a smile even as a tear threatens at my eye. Jesus, when did I get so sensitive?

"What…am I supposed to say to you?"

Irritated, she digs into her pouch and pulls out her cellphone, thrusting the display in my face. "I read all the messages," she says, as if that's supposed to provoke something from me.

I take hold of her hand with the cellphone still in it. If she's read the messages then that means she's pieced together what we had while she was an amnesiac. I look at her confusedly. "Why are you showing me this?"

"Is that it? Is that all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say Konata?"

Her anger falters and for a few seconds she's the helpless little amnesiac I kissed only a few weeks ago. "Not this! Jeez! I don't…I don't know. This was clearer in my head when I came over here. Didn't I…don't I mean anything to you?"

"Of course you do," I say softly.

"Then why are you ignoring me? Why didn't you visit me in the hospital?"

"Because I was scared of what you would say! And I didn't want to scare you either! I don't want to force my expectations onto you"

"This isn't like when we were kids! I'm not twelve, I can handle it!"

"Can you? Be honest, do you remember anything at all of what happened between us? Anything that happened in the last couple months?"

She deflates. "No," she admits, "I don't"

This isn't news, but I can't quite keep from showing how much hearing it upsets me. "Then…" I shrug, "why did you come here?"

She's silent for a long time, and I consider just walking away. But she looks so lost that I remain rooted to the pot, clutching uselessly at my purse. I squeeze the strap again and again. It is not a very effective stress-ball. "For the last week you've been all I can think about," she says, almost whispering, voice so soft I have to lean in to hear. "I don't know where these feelings are coming from but…" she smiles helplessly, "…I'm confused right now, and I can't quite remember things, and Christ I barely know you," this makes me laugh a bit, despite the heavy atmosphere, "but I just need to be near you right now. Okay?"

The situation is too ridiculous for me not to laugh just a bit more, "You're going to get my hopes up you know"

Her eyes dart away from mine. "I don't know if I'll get my memories back or not," I guess she's decided to dodge my question, "but for now, maybe we can get some coffee or something? My treat," Konata holds up a couple of bills, smiling hopefully.

I'm reminded of my first visit to the hospital, those terribly awkward first moments. When we were going out I never let her pay for anything, and I guess this is a suitable irony. All of a sudden I'm the one being courted. I shake my head.

"Yeah, coffee sounds great"

I wasn't expecting her to be so callous at first, though if that single tear was any indication then I know she wasn't being entirely forthright. I apparently have to embarrass myself and spill my feelings-ridden guts to get to even crack a smile, for me to even raise the courage to ask her to coffee.

"You're going to get my hopes up you know"

I wonder if I'm being selfish; if I'm just using her to deal with the anxiety of my own lost memories. Maybe I am, but I can't deny that being in her presence is more calming than even three ounces of Nanako's weed. Okay, definitely not that calming, but when I'm around Kagami things just feel right.

We're sitting in the campus coffee shop. It shifts from being densely packed to sparsely patronized, but everyone leaves us alone in our corner booth. Like I promised, I've bought her a drink, though I'm sure she's intentionally chosen something cheap.

"I've already had this conversation with you, you know," she says, looking own into her cup with lidded eyes. Pensive eyes.

"What conversation?"

"The whole catching up conversation. We had it when you were in the hospital"

"Oh yeah? What did we talk about?"

"I talked mostly. You just listened. I talked about myself; my family, my past, what I hope to do in the future"

"Well we can skip most of that this time around. We used to best friends after all." I take a sip of my tea, "And you want to be a lawyer, right?"

"Actually I'm thinking of pursuing photography. I've got a card and everything"

"Hey that's awesome Kagami! How's Tsukasa doing?"

We talk about all the little things going on in each other's lives, dissolving any discomfort either of us might be feeling. This isn't the downward spiral of small talk, but two old friends making an earnest effort to catch up. As we talk my usual social compunctions fade away, and it becomes as easy to talk to Kagami as it is to Sebastian. Easier, even.

"Oh hey, that reminds me, did you take this picture?" I show her the one of me and Sebastian on the balcony.

She smiles at it fondly, "Yeah I did. I saw you two out there and I couldn't resist. That was the night I…"

"What?"

She seems hesitant but then puts on an 'aw, screw it,' expression. "That was the night we first kissed"

And there it is. We were tiptoeing around the subject and now Kagami has punctured it with her boot, for which I am thankful, but no less taken aback. "O-oh," is, sadly, all, I can think to say.

"You want to know what you did in response?" She's smiling, like this is the set-up for a joke.

"What?"

"You ran off for a couple days and I had a hard friggin' time finding you," she laughs to herself, "It was a whole adventure. I even punched a guy. The same guy who shot you, I might add"

"Well, well, how poetic. You, Ms. Hiiragi, are you quite the badass"

She wipes imaginary dust off of her shoulders, "I am indeed. So badass am I that I even tracked you down to the hotel of a reclusive mangaka as soon as I got out of jail"

I wonder if she's exaggerating about that jail bit. "And then what happened?"

"Well I don't know if I should say." Her reticence has morphed into smug bravado, and I smile at the growing rapport "You might not be ready for all the salacious little detai-" I lightly kick her under the table. "Ow! Jeez, okay, fine," she laughs, "I kissed you again. And I asked you out, formally"

My face goes red. I like to think that I'm not one of those people that blushes at things like this but dammit I am. "What did I say?"

"You said you weren't even sure you into girls"

"Is that it?" I ask, breath baited. "That's all I said?"

"Nooooo~" she smiles infuriatingly, like a parent who stops reading a bedtime story at the end of a particularly intense cliffhanger. "You know, you never did tell me if you liked girls or not. I don't suppose you even knew"

I match her smug smile with a shit-eating grin, "I'm bisexual, if you must know"

"Huh," she looks thoughtful.

"Well? What happened after you asked me out?"

"You were reluctant at first…so I kissed you, just to make sure. And then I kissed you again, and again, and at some point you started kissing me back and we had sloppy makeouts on the floor"

I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Wow"

"Yeah"

"Did it, uh, escalate?"

"No, it was more or less chaste. Not that I…didn't want it to. I wanted to wait until you were ready"

I consider my words, rolling them around in my head, "Was I ever ready?"

She looks anywhere but at me, the bustle of the coffee shop is white noise. "Yes." She looks me in the eyes, searching.

"Oh." I unconsciously wrap my arms around myself, letting the silence go on a bit longer than is comfortable for either of us. Apparently this signals the end of the conversation, because Kagami gets up and crosses to my side of the table. She apologizes to me, squeezing my shoulder, before going. I'm left confused, and angry, but I don't move.

We had sex? I don't remember it, obviously, and knowing that she has intimate knowledge of my body is more than a little off-putting. I don't feel violated though. She said she waited after all. It must have meant something special to her. I must have meant something special to her.

Don't I mean anything to her anymore?

A bubbling rage surges in my stomach. I'm angry at Kagami, I'm angry at myself for just sitting there and letting her get away. I'm angry at the guy who shot me for putting me in this convoluted situation. But most of all I'm angry because I'm still sitting here. I surge to my feet and head to the door.

I don't know what I want, and I'm acting completely on instinct. And even though I'm no less confused than I was before, somehow this feels right. Running outside the coffee shop I spot Kagami a ways away. I catch her unawares by grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around.

She looks' like she's going to react violently until she realizes its me. We look at each other for a few seconds, and I can tell she's been trying not to cry, eyes moist and lips drawn taut. Her hand grips her purse so hard that it's white. Her breath is ragged. My eyes widen, and then they flutter almost to a close.

Before she can say anything, before I can even realize what I'm doing, I lean in close, climbing to my tip-toes to plant a soft kiss on her lips.

I back away, and we look at each other in as uncomprehending expectance, the sort shared between two people who are completely lost. If the conditions were right, I would fall into her arms and we would abscond to the nearest hotel. As it is, I just take her hand, entwining my smaller fingers in hers, and ask her in faltering mumbles if we can just walk around for a while, just like this, just for a little longer.