She's on the Wall when he drags himself up top, standing near the brazier, huddled in her furs. All of the layers make her look strangely bulky and out of proportion, but even so, he still can't help but think that this is the right look for her. She finally looks the part of the warrior he knows she is.

"Tired, are you?" she asks as he comes to stand beside her. He looks over at her, but she's staring out at the world beyond the Wall, and he turns his attention back to that white-washed wilderness as well. He can feel the emotions rolling off her in waves, and he knows she's upset with him.

"I… didn't think, Iv. I didn't think that I was abandoning you, I didn't think about the fact they would hunt me down as a deserter. He is my brother and he goes to war to free my father and sisters, and I should be with him."

He still feels resentment toward Sam and Pyp and Grenn for bringing him back, but he knows in his heart of hearts that they were right to do so.

"You don't think I would be with Robb and Theon if I could?" she asks quietly, and he looks at her again. Her face is still pointed out, but her eyes are unfocused and he knows her mind is elsewhere.

"I received more kindness and was regarded more fondly in Winterfell than I ever was in Braavos. Sansa was as kind a friend as I ever hoped for, and Lord Stark showed me much kindness by taking me into his home. I would have gladly ridden south to offer my sword to free your father and sisters, but I came here to be at your side because you are the only Stark that's alone right now."

"I'm not a Stark," comes his automatic response, but she turns her head to pierce him with those green, green eyes. He freezes under her gaze; she's wearing her 'lion face' again.

"You are not a Stark in name, but you're a Stark in blood, and that's all that matters to me. There are no 'highborn' or 'lords' or any of that where I come from. It doesn't matter if you're a 'bastard' or not. What matters is what you make of yourself."

Her attention shifts away from him as she leaves him in silence to digest her words. She stifles a yawn behind her hands; she's been on the Wall on watch duty for several hours now and all she wants is to go down, get some food and sleep. But there is still another hour at least before someone comes up to relieve her of the chore, so she remains bundled in her cloak and furs, watching the snowy reaches far below.

There's a very pregnant pause between them then, and Jon rolls his next statement around on his tongue for a while before, finally, he gives voice to the things he needs to say.

"The Lord Commander plans to ride out beyond the Wall soon. There are disturbing reports coming in, and he wants to find Benjen, alive or dead." It feels strange to repeat this out loud, like telling her makes it real.

"I know."

"How do you know?" he asks, and she readjusts her cloak.

"I can see them in the yard, running around and preparing horses and supplies just as easily as anyone else can. I might not have known exactly what was going on, but I knew something was going on…"

She saves him the trouble of going on when she takes a deep breath and releases it in a sigh before pressing on.

"You'll be going with them, yes?"

His voice has fled, leaving him to make nothing but a dull choking sound, which draws her attention. A nod is given as an answer in place of actual words, and she appears to deflate a little beneath her heavy clothing.

"And I'll be staying. I'm a recruit, still, not a 'sworn brother'. I have to remain behind, complete my training… Just so."

He can hear the bitterness in her tone. Without having to ask, he understands. She's bitter because, despite her skill at swords, she'll remain behind to finish her training, and when everything is said and done, she'll be assigned to become a steward to Castle Black because they can't trust to send a woman out with two men beyond the Wall for weeks at a time; it might not be safe for her.

She's bitter because all her work to prove herself will be disregarded in the end because she's a woman. All that awaits her at the end of the path of hard training is a life of servitude and no action. He's no stranger to the way she feels, because he's still struggling with the knowledge himself.

But above all of it, he knows she's bitter because he's leaving. Just like in Winterfell, he's going somewhere she can't follow and it kills her to be left behind, feeling useless.

This time, it's Jon who closes the gap between them. He presses his shoulder to hers and takes her hand, threading their fingers together and squeezing in reassurance. She doesn't look up, and he doesn't look over at her, but he can tell that she's finally smiling.

"Be safe, Jon Snow. You'll be fine."

The view is different, the clothes are different. They are different, but at the same time, they're so exactly the same that it hurts his chest. But the sentiment is the same and she replies the pressure against his fingers.

Because she loves him. She doesn't want him to make a woman of her, she doesn't want him to kiss her and promise to return to her arms. She doesn't want him to hold her or anything so foolish like the songs she hears Pyp singing softly to himself during his chores.

When she looks at him, he knows what she sees. As much as she sees him, she also sees Ivaerion; it's the same as when he looks at her. He sees Iv, but just as much he sees Robb and Sansa and Arya, Bran and Rickon as well. He needs her to play these rolls as much as she needs him to play his.

They never speak about it, but Jon knows. He knows because of the almost desperate way they grasp hands while standing in silence on the Wall. When he notices the snowflakes melting in her hair, it hurts his chest to remember that last day in Winterfell, so he reaches up and brushes the flakes away while gently pulling his hand from her grasp.

The fox-fur that lines her hood is thick around her face, and it amuses him to think that it's her mane. They share a brave look before he turns on his heel in silence and flees her staggering presence.

Author's Note: Next update will be Wednesday, February 8th. The story will update Monday, Wednesday and Friday!

Between this chapter and the next, we completely skip over A Clash of Kings, because Jon isn't at the Wall, and Iv is. When next we see Jon and Iv, we'll be about halfway through A Storm of Swords. Only two chapters left!