Author's Note:
Hey guys! I'm back again!
Sorry again for the slow update. I've recently had a friend go through some really bad stuff and it left me in a pretty bad place too, so working on this chapter took some time. I apologize for that, but it is done and it's here! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
Poor Pyro just can't catch a break.
I awoke the next morning to Soldier banging on my bedroom door and screaming at me to wake up and meet him out back after I ate breakfast in 15 minutes. Groaning, I crawled out of bed and chanced a look at my alarm clock.
"4:30 in the morning!" I yelled, "Is he out of his mind? It's still dark out!" I groaned. Soldier said 6 in the morning yesterday, what in the hell was he getting me up this early for? I pulled on my suit and threw my hair up into a quick braid before pulling my mask on. I zipped up my suit and headed for the kitchen.
Medic was in the middle of frying up some bacon when I walked in. He gave me a tired sideways glance before he returned his attention to the bacon. He took three pieces that seemed to be done out of the pan and placed them on a plate next to what appeared to be a spinach omelet. He then held the plate out to me. I took it and couldn't help the frown that appeared on my face. I hate spinach.
"Herr Soldier iz not here Fräulein." Medic stated when I didn't immediately begin eating. "You can remove ze mask." I removed my mask upon hearing this, placing it on the empty part of the counter.
"I don't really like spinach…" I said quietly, grabbing a fork and knife from the silverware drawer.
"Zat iz too bad. I don't like vaking up at ungodly hours of ze morning." Medic said, clearly tired. It seemed as though even his words were struggling to find the energy to leave his mouth. He looked awful too, now that I took a moment to fully look him over. He looked like he had just woken up with his loose black pajama pants and white wife-beater top on. It was odd to see Medic in anything other than his lab coat and dress clothes. His messy hair, 5 o'clock shadow and the dark circles under his eyes were doing him no justice either.
"But, it seems Soldier has different plans. Zo, if I have to be avake, you can eat some spinach." Medic continued, placing the other few pieces of bacon on another plate. After Medic had placed the pan in the sink and filled it with water to soak, he and I walked over to the dining room with our food. He placed a glass of orange juice in front of me when I sat down. He then went back to the kitchen and returned with a mug of coffee for himself before sitting down across from me.
"Why did Soldier wake you up so early, Medic?" I asked before reluctantly cutting and taking a bite of the spinach omelet, not wanting to anger Medic.
"Zo zat I could prepare breakfast for you und be around in case I am needed during your training." Medic spat, irritated. Note to self: Never wake Medic up before 5:30. Medic looked up from his coffee to look me over. After a few seconds, he sighed and stood, placing his mug on the table. He walked to stand behind me and began messing with my hair.
"What are you doing?" I asked, more curious than concerned.
"Fixing your hair. It iz a mess." The German stated, taking my hair out of its braid and beginning to pull it up higher. "Did you even brush it?" he scolded.
"No mom. Soldier said I had 15 minutes. I just kind of threw it up into a quick braid rushed down here." I said, allowing some sass to sneak its way into my words. Medic tugged on my hair in return.
"I vas just joking, Fräulein. No need for attitude." The doctor stated, a hint of a smirk in his voice. At least he seemed to be getting happier and less irritable. "Your roots, zey are not brown? You are a redhead?" He questioned, while putting my hair into a much tighter braid. I nodded my head while I swallowed the last of the omelet.
"Is the red showing that much? I haven't looked in a mirror in ages. I guess I should dye it again soon." I stated, more to myself than to Medic.
"Vhy vould you do zat? Do you not like ze red?" Medic asked, taking the finished braid and wrapping it into a tight bun. I paused deciding if I wanted to answer him or not. I trust Medic with my life, but I don't think I'm ready to talk about everything with him yet.
"Not really. I like the brown better." I replied finally.
"Vell… for vat it's vorth. I zink you vould look stunning vith red hair. Especially vith zose beautiful gray eyes." Medic complimented as he tied off the bun. "Zere, zat should hold for ze day." Medic said, admiring his handiwork before returning to his breakfast.
"Thanks Medic… For the compliment and the hair. Since when do you know how to do hair?" I asked with a grin.
"I used to help ze nurses vith their hair during ze var. It vas easier for me to do it vather zen zey try to fix it vile vorking on a patient." The doctor replied matter-of-factly. That's right… most of these men had participated in war before. That's how most of them got this job. I nodded, acknowledging him.
"Interesting… Well, I'd love to stay and chat, trust me I really would, but I'm afraid I have to go meet Soldier so that he can put me through hell and back." I said, standing and gathering my dishes to take them to the kitchen. Medic cleared his throat and motioned to the glass of orange juice when I turned to him. I rolled my eyes playfully and quickly chugged the drink, not wanting to keep soldier waiting.
"Be careful today." Medic said as I began to leave the room.
"Yeah, yeah! I will! See you later, Medic!" I called back to the German as I left to retrieve my mask from the kitchen and head out back to meet Soldier.
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
Medic stared at his food after the younger woman had left to go to training. He hated that he was so rude to her this morning, but Soldier set him off. Not only had the American woken him up 4 hours before he wanted to be awake on a ceasefire day, but he told him that he planned to force Pyro to face every fear she had, one right after another, during her training today. Medic was all for making people face their fears, but not all of them in one day. Something about Soldier forcing Pyro to do just that angered Medic to his very core. He'd seen Pyro broken once and he wasn't ready to watch her break again.
He sighed and began eating his meal. In an effort to help calm his anger, Medic tried to imagine Pyro with long wavy red hair. It was a sight he found himself wishing that he could see with his own eyes. He'd seen Pyro a number of times without her mask in the last few days, but he'd only just seen the red roots in her hair today while he was up close and working with it. It wasn't the bright strawberry blond kind of red, perhaps it was at one point, but through what could be years of dying it, it's darkened to a deeper and browner red. Still a gorgeous color, Medic noted as he imagined it. Then the German began to wonder what it would feel like to run his fingers through her gorgeous red locks and stopped mid chew as he noticed his cheeks heating up a bit at the thought. Was he blushing? No, no, it couldn't be. Medic wouldn't deny that he thought his fire-loving teammate was beautiful, anyone would with her small perfectly sculpted pear-shaped body, mousy face, small pointed nose and sparkling silver eyes that you could get lost in, but he definitely did not have any feelings for the girl… did he? No,… No of course not. He was only blushing because he was embarrassed to be thinking about his teammate and friend in any kind of loving way. Yes, that was it. That's all it was. Medic frowned at his half-eaten meal. That was what his brain said anyway, but his heart was telling him otherwise.
The German sighed as he realized his developing feelings for his teammate. He began cleaning up his plate and dishes, having lost his appetite because he knew this couldn't end well. If there was anything the doctor had learned during his time in war, it's that there was no room for love in a war zone. It would only lead to pain.
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
I jogged up to Soldier who was staring at his watch as I approached him, only looking away from it and turning his attention to me when I had stopped in front of him and saluted. He looked a little tired as he was slouching ever so slightly. If I didn't know Soldier, I wouldn't have noticed it. He returned the salute before speaking.
"You're a minute early, private! Glad to see it!" Soldier stated loudly before continuing. "If you look out at the obstacle course, you'll see we've added on to it!" So, that's why he looks so tired. I lowered my salute and looked past him to see a smaller thrown together building at what used to be the end of the obstacle course. I didn't know what was inside it, but I couldn't say that I was excited for it. Soldier wasn't one for going easy on people, so whatever was in there I could only assume would be another portion of the hell that he was going to put me through today. I returned my attention to Soldier, ready to just get whatever he had planned over with.
"Before we get to that, I want you to start by giving me 50 laps! Move, move, move!" The veteran yelled. I didn't hesitate and immediately began running laps, Soldier at my side, shouting his "insults of encouragement."
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
As usual, what Soldier had originally called 50 laps, turned into 80 or 90. He did lose count a couple of times due to his lack of sleep. He knew he probably should've slept like the others had, but he wanted to start Pyro on the new course as soon as possible. The war veteran watched his fire loving teammate turn his back to him and bend over on the side of the track to lift his mask and puke. After what Soldier assumed was Pyro's breakfast had finished exiting his stomach, he ordered him to begin the usual beginning routine of 30 crunches, 25 push-ups, a 3 minute plank, and 5 sets of drills.
Soldier waved in some of his other teammates as they came out during Pyro's routine. Medic, Spy, Heavy, and Engineer. Soldier had asked each of them to come out and help with Pyro's training today. They each had their own qualities that would help the fire lover get through the new portion of the track they'd designed and built last night. Medic was simply there as back-up. Soldier knew that forcing Pyro to face his fears would take a mental toll on him and while Soldier was a fan of the "get over it" kind of teaching, he also knew that it was unethical to put a person through that much pressure and stress without having something to fall back on.
Soldier focused on Pyro as they finished their last lap on their drills. The younger teammate stopped in front of Soldier and saluted him again once he'd finished his routine. Soldier did not return the salute this time though. Pyro waited before ending his salute as if to see if Soldier would return it. Soldier nodded his head toward the obstacle course.
"I expect you to finish the normal portion of the course within 3 minutes, starting… NOW" Soldier ordered. He smirked as he watched Pyro scramble to the course in order to finish it in the time limit given. Soldier then waved to the others, motioning for them to follow him as he made his way over to the new building. He wanted to be there when Pyro finished the main portion of the course so that they could move right into the new stuff. Subconsciously, he'd been dreading this portion. He didn't know much about his newest teammate. They'd been working together for weeks now, but he still didn't even know what the guy looked like. That made forcing him to face his fears that much harder. Soldier didn't know how he would react, so, in a sense, Soldier was going into this about as blind as Pyro was. He had to be ready to deal with whatever Pyro's reactions would be. Soldier could, in fact, be putting all of the men here in danger, but it was a risk they had to take. If they didn't want to lose another perfectly good teammate to a Blu Spy, they needed Pyro to be able to carry himself, fears or not. Pyro needed to face his fears and learn to cope with them and for Soldier, it was now or never.
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
I should've known something was off when I saw a few of my teammates come out onto the field. I should've known that something was off when Soldier neglected to say specifically what was inside this new building they'd made. I knew I was going to hate what he had waiting for me, but I didn't know I was going to be thrown into a pit with my biggest fears and Soldier being my only way out.
When I finished the regular obstacle course Soldier happily informed me that I'd completed it in under 2 and half minutes. Then, without further praise, took me into this new building. I had assumed that the hole in the ground would be used as a sort of sparing grounds, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Soldier, quite literally, threw me into the pit and informed me that today I would be facing my biggest fears and I couldn't leave the pit until I had done so. I panicked. I couldn't do this.
"First up! We're going to cure you of that fear of darkness. Engie! Cut the lights!" Soldier called. Seconds later, I was sitting in the dark. This… this wasn't bad. This I could handle. My fear of the dark wasn't bad and it wasn't really the darkness that I feared, but what was in the dark that I hated and feared. A few minutes later the lights came back on and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.
"Are you alright Private?" Soldier asked. I nodded to him. "Good! Then on to the next one! The infamous saws!" Oh no. I looked around as small doors in the floors opened on either side of me and two giant saws, much like the ones from Sawmill, rose up from them.
"Take a few steps back, Soldier." Soldier ordered and I listened, moving back until my back was against the wall. Then the Saws started running, moving back and forth across the pit, slow enough to where I should have enough time to cross the pit as they moved to the sides. I thought of Johnson, the Pyro before me, and instantly froze. The sound they made as they turned and moved across the pit was like nails on a chalkboard to me and only made me cringe and want to avoid them more. When I didn't move, Engie hopped down into the pit and crossed between the saws with ease to get to me.
"Pyro, son, you listenin' ta me boy?" The smaller man asked me. I managed a nod. He gave me a small smile.
"Good. Pyro, you've got nuthin' ta fear from them there saws. I know what you went through when ya got caught in one. I been there too, but your fear of'em is what'll get ya'll in trouble. Now, those Saws? They ain't out to get ya. They're doin' what they're made to do; turn and move to cut wood, not you. All you gotta do is keep out of their way." Engie explained, trying to reason with me. I stood there, watching the saws as I took in what he said. He was right. They're not out to get me, as long as I stay out of their way, they can't harm me which means I don't need to worry about them and I can focus on the enemies around me. If I focus on them, they can't put me in the way of the saws and they can't hurt me.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm myself. I placed a hand on Engie's shoulder, nodding to him as thanks. He smiled at me and gestured to the saws. I gave his shoulder a squeeze before letting go and moving towards them. I stood before them as they crossed the middle and headed to opposite directions and then, once they were out of the way and with another deep breath, I crossed between them, over their paths, and to the other side. Engie and the others, minus Soldier, shouted words of praise to me. Engie crossed back over to me and gave me a high five before Soldier pulled him out.
"Now, for the next step." Soldier stated. Spy and Engie disappeared towards the controls. Seconds later, speakers around the room came to life and began playing a lot of loud banging noises like pots and pans being smacked together and high pitched noises. Some of the speakers even played the sound of fire burning and gunfire. The sudden amount of loud noises coming from the speakers and the sounds of the saws still running were enough to immediately send my brain into overdrive. Oh no. No. No. No. No. This needed to stop. I clutched at the sides of my mask and immediately sank to the ground. Then I heard footsteps approach me over the noise. I looked up to find Soldier standing over me. He crouched and stared into the mask, as though he was trying to look into my eyes and see what was running through my mind.
"You're scared of loud noises." He said loudly over the noise. "They're just noises Private. Block them out!" Soldier yelled. No. No, he couldn't be more wrong. The noises did not scare me. I shook my head and clutched tighter at my mask.
"You can do this Private!" Soldier yelled. I shook my head again and looked up to the saws. They were still running. This isn't good. I fell to the ground, trying hard to keep control as the noise began to stress me out, Soldier's yelling only adding to it. I felt tears start to crawl down my face. When I looked up at Soldier again, Heavy was next to him now, giving me a concerned look. No, not heavy too. This had to stop before…
I ripped off my mask.
"STOP. STOP THE NOISE. STOP THE SAWS. PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP." I screamed.
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
Surprised doesn't quite explain Soldier's reaction to Pyro when she pulled her mask off and revealed that she was, in fact, a she rather than a he. However, he needed to disregard that for the moment. He needed to get her through this test, then he would confront her about her identity later.
"We will not turn off the noise! Not until you learn to handle it!" Soldier yelled back. Pyro's face was now soaked with tears and she stared at Soldier, fear blatant in her gray eyes. It was almost enough to make him stop the test. Almost. Heavy took a step toward Pyro and went to hug her, trying to comfort the small woman. As he moved in, Soldier saw a flash in the woman's eyes and he knew then that he had made a mistake. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.
Pyro lost it. He watched as the fearful look in her eyes flicked over to a crazed one. She'd snapped. She pushed Heavy away from her and ran away, closer to the saws, but not quite in their path. Heavy was caught off guard and stumbled a bit, but regained his composure and turned to his fire-loving friend. He approached her again.
"Heavy! Stay back! Get away from her!" Soldier called to the bigger man. The Russian ignored Soldier, wanting only to calm his friend. Soldier growled and motioned to Medic. "Shut it down!" Soldier called out. Medic passed on the message and the speakers died down to silence. When the saws did not shut off Soldier called up to his teammates working the controls.
"Why are those saws still on? I said shut it down!" Soldier growled.
"The controls are jammed!" Engie called back. Soldier growled and turned to his other two teammates in the pit. Heavy was approaching Pyro and she still hadn't come down from this crazed state. This wasn't good. Heavy went to pull her away from the saws, reaching out his arm.
"Don't touch me!" She warned. "Don't even come near me!" But Heavy continued to reach his arm out.
"Get away from saws." Heavy said, trying to reason with her. She shook her head and went down, throwing her leg out to pull his legs out from under him. Heavy went down with a loud thud and Pyro was instantly on top of him, holding the arm he had been reaching out towards her in the path of one of the saws.
"Pryo stop!" Soldier yelled, running over. He tried pulling her away, but she was strong and fought him.
"I warned you!" The girl screamed over and over. Soldier looked at the incoming saw and rushed to move her. Heavy was pushing against her too trying to free himself. Finally, as Soldier pulled her off the Russian, she dislocated his arm from his shoulder. Heavy's arm became limp as he cried out in pain. Soldier pushed her to the other side of the pit where Medic grabbed her and held her back. Heavy howled in pain again as one of the saws began tearing at his limp arm. Soldier jumped in and pulled the bigger man's arm out of the saw and away from it. There was blood. A lot of blood.
Seconds later, Engie got the controls back online and shut the saws down. Soldier busied himself with ripping off a strip of fabric from his undershirt and tightly wrapping it around Heavy's upper arm, slowing the blood flow. He glanced at Pyro. With the added noise from the saws gone, she seems to have calmed down, but is now staring at Heavy in horror. Soldier ignored her for the moment and called Medic over.
He watched Medic pick Pyro up and pass her to Spy at the top of the pit before running over. He looked Heavy over quickly.
"We need to get him to the infirmary. Now. Help me pick him up." Medic stated, irritated. Soldier helped Medic lift the heavy Russian up to Engie and Spy who pulled him up. Soldier lifted Medic up before pulling himself up and out of the pit. Soldier helped Engie and Medic walk Heavy to the infirmary, leaving Pyro with Spy. He'd take care of her later.
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
No.
This can't be happening.
I was on my knees, slouched over and staring at my hands. The hands that had just caused Heavy to almost lose an arm, if they could fix it. If not, I caused him to lose an arm.
No.
I'd lost control again. Why didn't they listen to me when I told them to stop? Why couldn't I control myself? What was wrong with me?
This is my fault.
"Come, let's get you out of here." Spy said, gently reaching down to pick me up bridal style. I was frozen. I didn't move as he carried me back inside the base and to my room.
I did it again.
Spy opened my door and took me to my bed, sitting me down before closing the door.
"Pyro?" Spy asked. He was trying to get my attention. I looked at him. He was moving his mouth. He was speaking to me, but I didn't hear him. I turned my back to him, buried my face in my hands, and began to cry harder than I had cried in a long time.
*.-.-.-.-.-.-.*
Medic could kill Soldier right now for what just happened. He wasn't upset about Heavy, he was furious about Pyro. He expects this kind of thing to happen to Heavy because he thinks he's invincible and does things without thinking, but Pyro… Medic knew Pyro and that was most definitely not Pyro that he just witnessed. That… thing, that did this to Heavy was created by Soldier. The German glares at Heavy's arm as he thinks about it all. They've moved Heavy onto the operating table and the doctor was trying to decide if this was a simple fix. His medigun had limitations, and unfortunately, Medic couldn't fix this with the medigun. Too much nerve, muscle, bone and blood vessel damage with this one. Heavy's left arm was only still attached by a few joints near the shoulder. Joints that currently, were not even in their proper place due to the dislocation.
"I can do nozing. Ve vill have to amputate it completely and close off ze blood vessels to keep him alive." Medic stated simply, looking at the other two.
"Do what you must to keep him alive." Soldier ordered.
"Aw hell." Engie muttered, looking at his right hand, the one he had lost sometime ago.
Medic nodded to Soldier, grabbed his bonesaw and proceeded to finish cutting Heavy's arm off. He didn't bother putting Heavy to sleep for the procedure since he had already passed out from the pain, shock, and loss of blood all together. Once he had finished, he placed the arm in a tray on the table next to him, then began to stitch up what he could of Heavy's arm so that he wouldn't lose as much blood until it clotted enough and stopped bleeding completely. When all that was left was to wrap up the nub that used to be Heavy's arm, Medic's mind drifted back to Pyro. He wondered how she was doing as he wrapped Heavy's arm. He hoped Spy was still with her and was keeping her from doing anything stupid. He wanted to get back to her before the rest of the team had the chance to find out what happened and attack her. They accepted her gender quite nicely, save for Scout, but going crazy and causing a teammate to lose his arm… that would be harder for them to accept without having been there to see Soldier transform her into the monster that did it. Medic tied off the bandages and moved to the sink to wash his hands.
"He's done. He'll need a lot of painkillers and some time to rest, but he vill be fine." The German stated to the other two. When he had finished washing his hands and dried them off, he headed for the exit.
"Where are you going?" Soldier asked, irritation laced into his words.
"To see Pyro. She iz going to need attention too." Medic said without stopping.
"What about Heavy?" Soldier hissed. Medic chuckled as he opened the door.
"Zat idiot had it coming. As I said, he vill be fine. I vill be back to give him some painkillers later ven he has had time to vake up. Maybe this vill teach him zat he izn't invincible and to zink before he just charges in!" Medic said coldly and he meant every word. He left the infirmary without another word, leaving Soldier to his anger. Medic really couldn't care less about Soldier's opinion of him right now. He just wanted to see Pyro.