A/N: Just a quick update to let you know that I'm still alive. And that I own nothing except this computer that I'm typing on.
Naruto pried his eyelids apart and asked himself two questions: What died in my mouth? And why am I naked? Groaning, he dug his elbows into the mattress and tried to force himself into a sitting position. The room spun around and performed high kicks, convincing the blond that he did not need to move just yet.
"My head," he moaned. "Fucking Kiba. I'm never drinking with him again." A buzzing noise interrupted his mutters and complaints. He looked around for the source of the sound and traced it to his vibrating cell phone. Which was on his bedside table. Plugged in. Lined up neatly with his wallet and keys.
Frowning, because he was pretty sure he came home drunk off his ass and did not put his things away, he wondered briefly if there was a strict fairy looking after him, keeping track of all the things he was sure to forget. His widened, and he sat up slowly, realizing that he did, indeed, have his very own guardian angel.
"Gaara?" he said softly. He swiveled his head slowly, to look around his room. The red head was not there. Strange, he thought. The other man had made it a habit to greet him every morning. Frown deepening, Naruto ran his fingers through his hair and yawned. Could something have happened that- Naruto froze, and closed his eyes. He didn't. He couldn't. They didn't... Did they?
The phone buzzed again, and this time, Naruto reached over to pick it up. Squinting, he checked the damage.
17 text messages.
8 missed calls.
3 voice mails.
And every single one of them was from Kiba.
Positioning his fingers, he intended to tap out a message to his feral friend signaling his awakening, but was distracted by the sound of someone pounding on the front door of his apartment. Dropping the phone, he clutched his throbbing head, and almost wept with gratitude when the knocking ceased. Before he could enjoy the silence, however, he heard his name being yelled.
"NARUTO! WHERE ARE YOU?"
Shit, Naruto thought. Did Kiba have to be so loud?
"My youthful comrade! Are you present in your place of residence?"
And he brought Lee with him. Dammit.
"I would advise you to keep your voices down," Gaara admonished the men. "Naruto is still sleeping off last night's binge, no thanks to you, Kibble."
"KIBA!"
"Whatever."
Naruto could only imagine the expressions on the faces of the men standing in his apartment. With a heavy sigh, he attempted to crawl out of bed. After several tries, he gave up and lay back down. Pressing a hand to his eyes, he wondered if he could call in dead to the diner, and hoped that Iruka would forgive him for it.
Gaara's voice drifted into him. "He is most likely still sleeping. I will not have you disturb him."
"Shut it, Red! I don't like you being so close to Naruto. I will check on my friend, and you will not stop me!" Kiba barked.
"Such loyalty is a beautiful thing!" Lee's voice joined the ruckus.
"Keep it down, you idiots," Gaara ordered.
Naruto gritted his teeth and sat up, just as the door to his room flew open. Kiba tumbled in, followed closely by Lee and a very unhappy Gaara. Naruto raised a hand and smiled weakly. "Yo," he croaked.
Kiba's eye widened, and his chin hit his chest. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"
Naruto winced. "Kiba, you're loud," he complained.
"You're naked! Why are you naked?" The brown-haired man whirled around to face Gaara, and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. "You! What'd you do to him? Did you seduce him, you sick bastard?"
"I did nothing to Naruto that he did not ask me to do," Gaara stated.
Lee blushed and averted his gaze. Quickly, he backed out of the room, muttering that so much tension so early in the day was not a youthful endeavor.
Kiba growled, and Gaara smirked. Naruto really just wanted to go back to sleep. Knowing that what he was about to say would only serve to alarm Kiba more gave him pause, but only for a moment.
"Gaara," he said, "you weren't here when I woke up."
Kiba released Gaara's shirt and clapped his hands over his ears. "I'm not hearing this. I'm not hearing this!"
Ignoring the dog-like man, Gaara moved closer to Naruto's bed. He raked his gaze over the blond, and stared pointedly at his lap. Naruto followed his look, and blushed. Pulling a pillow in his lap, the blond shifted uncomfortably. Not missing the gesture of modesty, Gaara looked away, disappointment settling painfully in his stomach.
"I made you breakfast. I'll go get it."
"Thank you," Naruto told the red-head. When Gaara left the room, Naruto placed his face in his hands and tried to figure out what to do next. He heard whimpering, and remembered that he was not alone. "Kiba-"
The brunette shook his head violently. "I'm not hearing this!"
"Kiba!" Naruto shouted forcefully, making himself wince at his own tone. "Shut up and listen."
The brunette lowered his hands. "I have one question for you, Naruto. Did you sleep with him?"
Naruto considered that. "Sleep? Well, yeah, we did sleep at some point.."
"Oh my God, you fucked him!"
"Not exactly.. I don't think. I don't know what to call it, really."
Kiba fixed him with a wary look. "You've been agonizing over this man, worrying about whether or not you're really gay, or if this thing with Sasuke was a fluke, or if it's something else entirely. Now you're telling me you went to bed with this guy?" Kiba's voice rose an octave, and Naruto flinched.
"I'm not sure," the blond admitted. "God, I'm so confused."
"Do you intend to pursue this thing with Red?" Kiba asked him seriously
Naruto thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "I don't know if I can. I think.. I think whatever happened between us last night might have been a mistake."
A clatter from the doorway and the sound of heavy footsteps running away let Naruto know that Gaara had heard every word he had said. "Oh, fuck," Naruto breathed into his hands.