Chapter Twelve

Sixteen Years Before

The Beginning To A Lie

Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley was slumped in her chair, the book she has been reading lay forgotten on the antique wooden table next to her. The dinner she had spent nearly two hours preparing without the help of magic was now sat stone cold on the table in the dining room. She stared out across the room before glancing over to the clock hanging on the wall. Ron should have been home three hours ago but she not heard a word from him since this morning when he barely looked at her before leaving the house. Hermione was past worrying now, anger was manically boiling under her skin. She tried to pick her book back up and distract her mind but it was no good. No matter how much she tried to focus on anything but Ron she found it near impossible. She hadn't been married long but she knew what a marriage was and it wasn't this. It wasn't stone cold meals and fights in the early hours of the morning over insignificant things. It wasn't deep pools regret slowly drowning her.

Hermione walked over to the kitchen table and looked down at the vegetables she had boiled, the potatoes she had mashed and the chicken that she had roasted. It was a simple meal but it really meant a lot to Hermione. She had cooked it all from scratch with her bare hands without the help of magic. It was small but brilliant in her eyes because she had made it and that was what really mattered to Hermione. Clearly Ron knew none of this as he wasn't here and he didn't care. Hermione sighed before she slumped down on one of the dining room seat. Was this really her life? Was she really becoming a housewife whose proudest achievement was a homemade meal? That wasn't the life she had been dreaming of since she was a small child. It wasn't the life her parents had dreamed for her either.

The fireplace suddenly burst into bright green flames, Hermione spun round expecting and hoping to see Ron standing there but instead the familiar sight of Harry greeted her. She stood up and stared at him while he smiled at her. She moved towards the kitchen but Harry stopped her.

"Hey, hey what's the matter?" Harry asked Hermione grabbing her by the arm. Hermione looked into her best friend's eye then broke down. "Hermione what's wrong?" Harry asked as he wrapped his arms around Hermione and clung onto her tightly. Hermione sobbed loudly into Harry's familiar shoulder, she was shaking so much that Harry had to cling onto her extra tight or she would have crumpled to the floor. "Hermione look at me." Harry said grabbing her by the cheeks and looking into her face. She refused to look at him. "Hermione look at me please." Harry begged. Her deep chocolate brown eyes met Harry's expressive bright green. "Hermione please tell me what is wrong." Harry said pleadingly. Hermione looked away and rested her head into Harry's shoulder while still sobbing.

"Why does everything have to be so hard?" Hermione sobbed clinging to Harry. "Why is it all so difficult? I try….I try so hard but it makes no difference. It makes no bloody difference no matter what I do!"

"Hermione what's going on?" Harry asked. She was really starting to worry him now.

"My life is a lie…my life is a complete failure and I don't know what to do." Hermione sobbed as she clung on to Harry.

"What do you mean? Where's Ron?" Harry asked glancing around the room in search of his other best friend.

"Ron! 'Where is Ron?' Well that's a bloody good question Harry! Where is Ron? I have no bloody idea…it's…it's not working Harry. It just isn't working between us and I don't know why! I thought I loved him but…" Hermione wailed punching Harry's chest. She pushed him away and wiped her face furiously to remove any trace of tears. "He left this morning and never said that he loved me, my father would say that to my mother every single morning before he left for work. He would say it even if they were fighting because he knew that the one day that he didn't say it would be the last day that he saw my mother...Ron never said that he loved me when he left..."

"Oh Hermione." Harry said pulling her back into his arms.

"Do you tell Ginny that you love her?" Hermione asked. "Do you tell Ginny that you love her as often as you can?"

"Of course I do...you know Ron loves though, you two wouldn't have gotten married if you didn't love each other." Harry said.

"But what if saying a few words isn't enough? What if there needs to be more than just words?" Hermione asked.

"What do you mean Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Harry…I chose wrong…after all this time…after thinking about it I chose wrong. I should have seen it coming but I never did...I never did..."

"What are you talking about Hermione? Please just tell me."

"I chose wrong…I chose the wrong person to love…" Hermione muttered. She looked at Harry and for the first time Harry saw something in her eyes that he had never seen before. It was a very different look compared to the millions of looks she had given him over the years. "Harry…I don't know how to fix it…how to fix the fact that I chose wrong. I should have followed my better judgement back when we were searching for Horcruxes."

"Seriously Hermione, what are you talking about?" Harry asked. Hermione was looking at him so fiercely that he had to look away but it wasn't in anger, it was something else that Harry had never seen. Something that made his stomach leap about and feel like it was about to jump out of his throat.

"When Ron left us...when he left me…I honestly thought he was never coming back. I thought he had abandoned me and you…I started to think about my life differently, about who I was with different eyes. About who I was with..."

"Hermione you have to be very careful about what you are about to say." Harry said suddenly seeing where she was going.

"I started to see you differently…that night in Godric's Hollow after the attack at Bathilda's…I was so scared that I had lost you. I thought you were dead. Seeing you there lifeless scared me to the core. The only thing I could think about was how much I could not stand to lose you and it made me see things so much more clearly until Ron came back…If he hadn't of come back then I think, I know, I would have fallen-"

"Hermione this is too dangerous to talk about." Harry said shaking his head. Hermione looked at him desperately.

"No Harry! I'm done treading on eggshells over what I say!" Hermione said suddenly sobbing once again. "I want to talk about my feelings, I need to talk about my feelings, about my hopes and dreams and how I think they are being crushed by Ron! I need you to understand that!"

"Hermione he's my best-"

"Harry! Please just listen! Just listen…just…just be here for me...please I'm begging you." Hermione begged. Her eyes were swimming with tears. "I don't think I can stay married to Ron. I'm twenty-one, I'm too young to be acting like the bored little housewife! I never even wanted this to begin with! I wanted to go out and see the world, I wanted to do so much good and yet here I am…waiting for Ron to come home after yet another row with yet another cold dinner! That's not the life I intended for myself! It's not the life that I dreamed of!"

Harry sighed as he pulled Hermione into another hug. She clung to him as if her life depended upon it."Hermione-"

"Even when we were fighting for our lives, even when I thought that I would never see home or Hogwarts again that was still better than this! It was danger but it was heart racing...this is a slow monotonous death." Hermione said seriously into Harry's chest. Harry sighed and stroked her wavy bushy hair.

"Oh Hermione-"

"Please Harry…I have to see…I have to know." Hermione said in a tiny voice that was barely more than a whisper. She looked up at him, their eyes met once again and this time they were full of mutual understanding even if both of them were scared to the core over what could possibly happen next, a tear slid down Hermione's pale cheek. "I have to know." She said as her lips met Harry's. Hermione's lips were soft and, despite the fact that she had been his best friend since he was eleven, unfamiliar. Hermione clung herself Harry and the kiss deepened, Harry tried to think, tried to understand what was happening but he couldn't. It was just him and Hermione. Together. He felt a shudder ripple through his body as Hermione's hand traced the contours of his back. As quickly as Hermione had kissed him though she pulled away and stared at him, her eyes wide with confusion and shock. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that…" Hermione whimpered but before she could say anything else Harry had pulled her into his arms and was kissing her passionately. It didn't matter that this was beyond reason; all that mattered was the two of them.

Sunlight danced across Harry's face, he opened one bleary eye and confusion filled his brain. He couldn't remember where he was but he felt comfortable, like he never wanted to leave. He opened both eyes and looked around the bedroom. It was then that he realised where he was. The sun dappled room was that of Hermione and Ron's though Hermione had clearly been the one to decorate. It was neat and had an airy feel to it even if the room had a slightly musty smell, like that of old books. A bookcase stood proudly on one side of the room overflowing with both magical and Muggle books that were clearly Hermione's.

Hermione herself was lying, naked, across Harry's chest. He looked down at her perfect and calm face. The sunlight that was dancing across his own face danced across hers as well. The worry that he had seen in her face recently was gone and in its place was peaceful serenity.

Then Harry looked at the clock on the bedside table and, with a gut wrenching jolt, saw that it was nearly eight in the morning. Ginny would be wondering where he was…Ginny…Ginny his fiancé and the person he was soon promising to spend the rest of his life with. The wedding was only three weeks away after all. What had he done? He had just cheated on his fiancé but more importantly he had just cheated on his fiancé with not only his best but only his other best friend's wife. Harry felt sick to the stomach thinking about Ron. Ron who had asked Harry to be his best man and vice versa. Where was Ron? Had he come back? Did he already know what the two most important people in his life had done? Was he waiting for them with growing anger, waiting outside with his wand ready to hex Harry and maybe even Hermione?

Harry moved slightly trying to slide from under Hermione. She groaned and began to stir but Harry was too quick. He pulled on his clothes with haste as he, silently, raced out the bedroom and downstairs.

He walked into the lounge to find a fully clothed Ron fast asleep on the sofa, his shoes still on. The air had that stale smell of drink. Clearly Ron had stumbled in drunk during the early hours and had passed out; he never could handle his Firewhiskey. Harry sighed with relief as he moved to the fire place. He grabbed a handful of floo powder and said, clearly but quietly "Number 12 Grimuald Place"

With a rushing sensation he left Hermione's and found himself falling into his own kitchen.

"Master Harry!" Kreacher croaked when he saw Harry in the kitchen. "Mistress Ginerva has been worried, she waited until midnight for you but then fell asleep. She has been worried about you. Have you only just returned home?" Harry shook his at Kreacher's question.

"No, I got back late last night but didn't want to disturb Ginny so I slept upstairs in the sitting room." Harry lied quickly. "I just came downstairs to get a mug of tea."

"Would Master Harry like Kreacher to make him his breakfast?" Kreacher asked. Harry shook his head.

"Its fine Kreacher, I'll make it. You don't have to do that for me." Harry said as he rooted around looking for the mugs. Kreacher looked at him oddly. "Honestly Kreacher it's fine. You can go and carry on with your reading if you want." Over the past few months Hermione had been helping Kreacher with his reading and he was now able to read short novels. Harry had discovered that Kreacher held a fascination for Muggle fantasy novels and he was slowly working his way through several of both Harry and Hermione's childhood favourite.

"If Master Harry needs anything then Kreacher will be in his den." Kreacher said before walking off. Harry sighed heavily and sat down. As thoughts of the previous night swam into his brain he heard a small clattering noise from outside the kitchen. The umbrella stand. Everyone, not only Tonks, still knocked it over on their way to the kitchen. Moments later Ginny walked into the kitchen.

"Harry!" She gasped when she saw him "Where were you last night? I was so worried about you!" Ginny said and Harry hated the look of care that was on her face, all it did was make him feel to guilty to even describe.

"Oh I had things to do then I went to see Ron and Hermione but Ron wasn't there so Hermione and I just sat and talked for a bit, she's not feeling well at the moment so she's hoping to be better before the wedding." Harry lied smoothly.

"Oh...I was worried about you when you didn't come home..." Ginny said in a small voice. Harry stared at her face and truely hated himself for what he had done last night. Neither Ginny nor Ron could ever find out, it would kill them both to know how much Harry and Hermione had betrayed them. Harry walked over to Ginny and pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong Harry?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing is wrong." Harry lied. "I just want you to know that I love you."

"I love you too." Ginny said with a smile that Harry could not return. He did love Ginny but he simply could not stop thinking about Hermione; he could not stop thinking about her lips, her skin or her touch.

Days had passed and Hermione had not seen hide nor hair of Harry though she had tried to contact him. Rom had apologised for the argument and not returning until the early hours but Hermione did not have the heart to fight more about it. That night after all wasn't the night that she and Ron had fought, it was the night that she had finally admitted to her feelings for Harry and for many magical moments he had returned those feelings.

Now Hermione was stood in her kitchen staring out onto the garden full of both Muggle and magical plants. There were chores that needed to be done and reports that should be written but Hermione could not think about anything else but the night she and Harry had been together.

"Hermione?" Ron called as he walked into the kitchen. Hermione jumped slightly and turned to her husband. "Are you ready?" Ron asked.

"Ready?" Hermione asked. She wracked her brain to try and think of anywhere that she should be but she couldn't think straight at all.

"Yeah, we're going round to Harry and Gin's for stuff to do with the wedding. Gin's been driving Mum and Dad insane apparently because of something to do with Fleur." Ron said with a shake of his head. Hermione swore she heard him mutter "Girls."

An hour later Hermione was in her own personal hell. She was stood in Harry and Ginny's spare room in a beautiful gown that she was to wear for Harry and Ginny's wedding. Her hair had been pulled away from her face by Ginny who had also added glittering jewellery. Hermione breathed in and out trying to lower her pulse, even her hands were shaking.

The door of the room opened and a brightly smiling Ginny burst into the room. Everything Ginny did today made Hermione feel uneasy. Hermione kept feeling Harry's lips against hers, kept hearing his laugh and seeing his body in the low lights of Hermione's room. She tried not to think about it but it was impossible.

"Are you nearly ready?" Ginny asked Hermione. Hermione shook her head instantly. "What's up?"

"Oh I just need to do something to my make-up. I'll be downstairs in a minute."

"Oh ok, I'm just making some lunch right now so come down when you're ready." Ginny said waltzing out the room. Hermione exhaled and sunk onto the guest bed. She drew her knees against her chest and tried very hard not to cry.

There was a soft knock on the door but before Hermione could say anything, the door opened and Harry walked in. Hermione's heart literally stopped but she couldn't ignore the flutter in her stomach as she looked at Harry.

"Hi." Harry said walking over to her and sitting down right next to her. Hermione couldn't stop thinking about the heat between the two of them. "I...I wanted to see if you were ok...after the other...the other night." Harry said. Hermione continued to clutch her knees. "What's wrong Hermione?" Harry asked.

"It's terrible." Hermione whispered. Harry reached over and stroked her arm. Shivers shot up and down her spine. "I...I can't stop thinking about you and it's driving me insane...it's driving me so insane." Hermione admitted.

Harry stared at Hermione as she continued to cling to her knees. "What?" he asked her.

"I cannot stop thinking about you and that night and...I...I can't even say it..."

"Can't say what?" Harry asked Hermione. Hermione stopped clinging to her knees and turned to look right into Harry's face.

"I'm in love with you." Hermione practically whimpered. All the breath left Harry's body and without even thinking about it his lips found Hermione's. She shivered and clung to his face. Their kiss deepened until they heard Ginny's voice.

"Hermione lunch is ready! Do you want to come down now?" Ginny called. Hermione broke away from Harry and stared into his eyes, she was practically shaking.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered as she rushed out the door and downstairs. Harry groaned outwardly and, his frustration getting the best of him, his fist found the wall with a loud crunch. Swearing to himself as he felt his bone break he muttered the spell to repair what was no doubt a fractured or broken bone in his hand.

Three weeks later and Harry found himself in a small white tent, his hands shaking with nerves. His thoughts of the night before were swimming around in his head as he tried, and failed, to do up his tie. He had been with Hermione. He could not help it. She was...she was indescribable. She was everything is life was missing...she was the girl he loved.

"Harry." A small voice said from the doorway. He was shocked to see it was Ginny, her hair and make-up all done but she was still in a dressing gown.

"Gin? What are you doing in here? It's still bad luck to see the bride right? Even in a magical wedding?" Harry asked. Ginny shrugged and seemed distracted. Harry's stomach dropped, was it possible that she knew about him and Hermione?

"Harry I have to tell you something. Promise me you won't freak out that I am only telling you now?"

"What is it Gin?" Harry asked still terrified.

"I've known for a while but I didn't know how to tell you and I was panicking about what to do but then I spoke to Luna and she said to just tell you. I would have told Hermione but she would have just told you-"

"Gin you're rambling, what is it?" Harry asked.

"I'm pregnant." Ginny said in a tiny voice that Harry barely heard.

"You're what?" He asked.

"Pregnant...I've known for about a month but I've been terrified of telling you though I don't know why and-" Ginny gabbled quickly staring at Harry trying to gauze his reaction.

"Gin that's amazing!" Harry gasped picking Ginny up and whirling her round the room. Her face was lit up with a gigantic smile. "How...how far along are you?" Harry suddenly said placing her back on the ground.

"About three months I think...it's due in October but I have no idea what I'm having yet obviously...Luna keeps saying that I should go to the Muggle hospital to get checked out even though I could simply take an Amnio Draught to see if everything is ok...Harry are you ok...you've gone pale..." Ginny babbled staring at Harry. He nodded then smiled once again.

"You have no idea how happy I am right about now." Harry said and all thoughts of the night before and Hermione were washed from his mind.

However, an hour later and Harry was no longer smiling. He un-did his tie and sat down waiting for Ron or George or Bill or Charlie to come bolstering into the room to offer him 'advice' or making jokes about how they hoped Ginny wasn't a 'runaway bride'. Harry tried to stop his hands from shaking but it was no good. In five minutes he'd walk out the room and go off to marry Ginny, the girl he was almost certain he was in love with and the girl whom he was now having a child with. Though it wasn't Ginny he was with last night was it? It was Hermione, Hermione who had been his best friend since he was eleven years old and the woman who now made his heart race by the mere mention of her name let alone the sight of her.

"Hi…" A timid voice said. Hermione. He looked over to her in her bridesmaid dress, a simple dress in a deep golden colour, and saw she was looking at him with a nervously sad smile. "Ready?" she asked. Harry shook his head. "I thought as much…I don't even know why I came in here to be honest…" Hermione mumbled. To Harry's surprise he saw Hermione was starting to cry.

"Hey what's the matter?" Harry asked walking over to Hermione in two strides and hugging her. The closeness between them reminded him of the previous night and he was suddenly tempted to let her go before he did something he would both regret but enjoy beyond words.

"You're the only person I know who has never made me cry…until now." Hermione said wiping a tear away from her cheek. "I think we need to spend some time apart…because watching you marry Ginny is going to be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. I wish you weren't marrying her and I am so sorry that I am saying this because it's the harshest thing I've said in a long time but I honestly don't know how I'll be able to watch you marry her when I know that I love you."

"I have to marry her...I love her..." Harry said even though his heart was breaking having to say it.

With a sob Hermione said "I know you do and that kills me..."

"But...but I don't...I can't love her as much as I think I love you." Harry admitted.

"So don't do it...I can't believe I am saying this but don't do it. Just walk away..."

"I can't...you don't understand how much I can't." Harry groaned wishing he could just take Hermione in his arms and love her, and only her, for the rest of his life.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"Ginny's pregnant." Harry blurted out. Hermione looked at him and sighed. "I can't…I can't admit to what I have done or leave her. I can't let a child be born without its father."

"You're too noble Harry…that's why I love you and that's why I will always love you more than anyone else in this world." Hermione said. Harry tried to say something but Hermione stopped him. She kissed him lightly on the lips before walking out the room. Harry's hands had stopped shaking but now he wanted to throw up.