Okay, so before I say anything else, I think I must apologize for a mistake that I made in an old chapter. I wasn't thinking, and I know that they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in England. But, for the sake of the story, just pretend I didn't make that mistake, and I'll try to fix it as best I can. Thank you, Kelley, for pointing that out. (: Next thing I would like to say is that, I know the next couple of chapters will be slow-moving and kind of pointless, but every conflict has to have a solution. There will be more interesting chapters, I promise. Next thing is that I do have another fanfiction in the process. It's posted, called "Darkness." Lily/Snape mid-1970s fic. Although, it won't be updated for a while because the other chapters are on my other computer, and it's not functioning right now. So be patient. And now, I will stop boring you and let you read. (:
One night in early September, Remus was lying awake in his bed with too many thoughts running through his head to even consider sleep. He knew that Tonks would be home by now, because Mad-Eye left every morning to meet up with his Aurors-in-training. He just couldn't think of how he could approach her. She might still be mad at him, and if she was, he had to come up with a really good apology.
As he lay awake and stared at the ceiling, he heard a crack from outside his window. It sounded like someone had stepped on a twig and snapped it in half. But there was no one out there, right? Whether there was a person there or not, he knew that in mere seconds, Mad-Eye would be out of bed and going insane. Every little noise in the night seemed to make him go crazy.
Sure enough, Mad-Eye was bustling through Remus's bedroom door and slamming it behind him, completely out of breath. "Remus, there's someone outside my house! Get ready! They might try to kill us!"
Remus rolled his eyes. He always knew that Mad-Eye had a crazy side to him since he was a well-known Auror, but only when he started living with him did he see just how crazy he really was. "Alastor, I really don't think anyone's out there-"
"Shh!" Mad-Eye yelled, pulling his wand out from a pocket inside his pajamas. "Shh! Can't you hear them? They're close to the front door." He ducked behind the bookcase near the door and pointed his wand outward.
Remus got out of bed and pulled out his wand as well. "That eye of yours…aren't you supposed to be able to see who's out there?"
Mad-Eye only grunted. He must have forgotten. After all, he had just woken up and he still sounded rather drowsy. As they waited in the silence, Remus took a step toward the door. He wanted to find out what was going on so that he could go back to bed. If he didn't find something out, Mad-Eye would be in his room freaking out for the rest of the night.
And then, there was a knock at the front door. Remus opened his bedroom door and walked slowly into the dark living room. Mad-Eye cast a spell behind him, missing him only by a few inches.
"Remus, what are you doing?" he hissed into the shadows. "That could be a Dark wizard!"
"Do you really think if it was a Dark wizard, they would knock on the door?" Remus asked exasperatedly as he moved the curtains and looked out to the porch. He sighed. "Oh, Merlin." He unlocked the door and turned the light on, and he moved aside so that Tonks and Alfred could walk into the room. "May I ask why you're here at three in the morning?"
She scowled at him, obviously still angry at him. "May I ask why you're here at all? Why is it that everywhere I go, you're there?" She crossed her arms and glared at him.
Alfred wrapped an arm around her shoulder, a disappointed look on his face, and shook her a little. "Don't argue, Nymphadora. It's rude. Besides, we're not here to see him." He shot a glare at Remus. "We're here to see Moody."
Tonks nodded and softened a little as Alfred released her and walked across the room to where Mad-Eye was standing, readjusting his magical eye.
"Well, what are you two doing in the wee hours of the morning, hmm? What's so important that you couldn't have waited until training at nine? It's only six hours away," Mad-Eye said, obviously annoyed. "I was having a pretty peaceful sleep."
"Nymphadora wanted to know if she could retake her Tracking and Stealth test," Alfred whispered, like it was private information. "We were out walking, since neither of us could sleep, and she insisted that we go ask you since we were in the area." He rolled his eyes. "Don't mind her. Sometimes she makes bad decisions."
Mad-Eye glanced at Alfred like he wanted to stab his wand through his chest, and then he looked at Tonks. "Well, it's alright. I'll have something arranged for you at training in the morning. Now, go on home and get some sleep. I'll see you at nine o'clock." He turned on his heel and headed back to his bedroom, his wooden leg clacking every other step.
Tonks looked at Remus for only a split second, and somehow, a message seemed to pass between them: they needed to talk. Now. But they needed to get rid of Alfred. Tonks looked away from him and watched as Alfred examined the Dark Magic detectors that covered almost every inch of the cluttered room.
"Alfred, I think I heard something in the forest. It might be a werewolf or something," she said, looking at Remus as she spoke. "Why don't we go check it out?"
Alfred immediately looked over at her. "A werewolf? Well, that's interesting." He started walking toward the door, with Tonks following after him, and then he stopped her. "This is a man's job. I won't let you go with me. Why don't you stay here with Reginald while I inspect the area?"
"It's Remus," Tonks corrected him.
"Whatever," he said as he walked outside.
Tonks stared at the floor for a few seconds, swaying back and forth awkwardly. She could feel Remus staring at her, but she didn't know what to say. She knew she had to say something, though. They hadn't spoken in almost three months. "I'm sorry," she mumbled under her breath, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay," Remus replied. He took a step closer to her, not entirely sure what he was going to say to her, either. "I should have said something to you. I'm sorry."
Tonks nodded, and once again the entire room fell into an awkward silence. Both of them avoided looking at each other, and neither of them wanted to be the one to speak first. They were both afraid of saying something wrong.
Finally, Tonks spoke. "So are you going to tell me how you really feel? I would like to know. It would make things easier." She held her breath. She was scared for what he might say. What if he said he didn't care for her? He had already said it a million times, but only because they were arguing. Was that really how he felt? If it was, it might just crush her. But what if he did care about her? What would she do then? She had Alfred, and she knew that she would leave him in a second if she had the opportunity to be with Remus. But that would be wrong. She should have never asked. Maybe it would be better not knowing what was really on his mind. Maybe they should just go on keeping secrets from each other. Maybe life would be easier for the both of them.
"Tonks, I think you need to know something," Remus said. He was standing close to her now, and she felt like she needed to kiss him just like she did at the Burrow. But she ignored her wants and tried to focus on his words. "I'm a dangerous person. You may not think that I am, but you're wrong. You don't know me as well as you think you do. I'm scared of hurting you. So, can we leave it at that? Can you try to understand that so you won't get hurt?"
Tonks couldn't just leave it at that. She wanted to understand. She needed to know what he was talking about. He wasn't dangerous at all. She couldn't get hurt. "You're not dangerous, Remus," she said, taking his hand in hers. He flinched a little, but settled after a few seconds. "You're probably the calmest, most laidback person I know. How could you be dangerous to me?" She smiled a little, trying to ignore all of those feelings bubbling up inside of her. If only she could spill out everything she had ever felt for him, then she might finally be at peace with herself. But she couldn't. She knew that it could cause trouble. It had been causing trouble ever since she met him.
"You don't understand," he said. He jerked his hand away from her and turned away. He couldn't look at her right now. He was struggling to find a way to explain without saying too much. " I'm a monster. I'm not like other people. I wish I was, but I'm not. Maybe one day I can tell you everything, but now is not the time. Can you understand that?"
She wanted to say no, she wanted to know everything right now. Nothing was making sense, and she needed everything to fall into place. "Yes," she finally replied. "Can we be friends?"
Remus nodded and smiled at her. He thought that she might get mad at him again, but maybe she was feeling the same way he was. To say that her absence in his life didn't mean anything to him would be a lie. He had missed seeing her all the time. It wasn't the first time she had decided to stop coming to visit him. But the more they fought and the more they talked to one another, the more he missed her when she wasn't around. Sometimes, just seeing her walk in the room made him feel ten times happier. Although he had many friends, she was like a light that ignited every once in a while to lead him through.
"Do you think you might want to-" Tonks started, breaking him from his thoughts. She was interrupted, though, by the door to Moody's room being flung open.
"Here's an idea," Mad-Eye said, glaring at them both with his one eye. He must have taken the other one out again. "Why don't both of you shut up and go to bed? You have Auror training tomorrow, Tonks. And you…" He eyed Remus. "I don't know what you're doing tomorrow, but I'm sure it's important. So go to sleep!" With that, he stormed back into his room and slammed the door.
Tonks smiled at Remus in an end-of-conversation sort of way. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or whenever, I don't know." She waved awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Should she hug him, or just leave?
Remus coughed, trying to get rid of the awkwardness, but it didn't work. He held out his hand, and she shook it and smiled. He waved, and she turned and walked out the door.