Genre: Humor/Romance
Pairings: ZukoxAang
Warnings: Yaoi. Don't like? Don't read.
Time: 100 ASC - Post War
Setting: Upper Ring - Ba Sing Se
Summary: After the war, the Gang stays in Ba Sing Se for a much needed vacation. But what happens when Toph decides that everything is getting much too monotonous and brews up trouble, taking them to a play that portrays Aang and Zuko as a gay couple? And what happens when, during convincing the whole of Ba Sing Se that they aren't gay, Aang and Zuko find that they are convincing themselves as well?

Part XIII
The Filthy-Mouthed Avatar

Despite the fact that Aang's hand had fallen to his side and the unbearable stench hanging in the air was invading his senses and despite the fact that his mouth was hanging wide open, he could not tear his gaze away from Zuko and the stranger. What was he doing?

Aang vaguely wondered if he and Zuko really looked that repulsive while kissing but maybe it was just the head of fair hair on the stranger's head that made the air bender cringe. He balled his hands into fists as Zuko pulled away for a second, downed a drink and then resumed with his make out session. The blonde's hand not too discreetly slid down to the waistband of the fire bender's pants and it took all of Aang's willpower not to air bend the little bastard into the street. Which was ironic since, in this particular situation, he was much littler.

The air bender gaped as Zuko allowed the man to fondle him through his pants and then, Aang flinched as the blonde's gaze flicked towards him, the green eyes locking onto his. He wondered if the fire bender had been talking about him to the stranger because a wave of recognition and then smug distaste flashed through his green eyes before he once again ducked his head and captured Zuko's lips with his. Aang gasped as someone bumped hard into him and one hand instinctively reached out to grasp the counter.

When he looked up next, the stranger grabbed Zuko by the scruff of his neck and practically began to haul him towards the staircases that led into the upper stories into the building. But try as hard as he might, Aang couldn't get his limbs to obey and that issue merely intensified as Zuko's head suddenly snapped towards him. His heart jumped for a second but then the fire bender's gaze slid over him, towards the bar.

And then he was gone with the blonde and Aang had dashed away from there as fast as he could.

The door almost flew off his hinges as Aang blasted it open with his air bending. Anger pulsed through his veins and his jaw was tight with rager as he shoved aside the beaded curtains and stomped into the living room.

"Where's Zuko?" Toph asked promptly.

"I don't care where he is." Aang spat out venomously as he made his way to the window and violently flung it open.

"Wow. What'd Fire Lord Zuko do to make the great pacifist Avatar inflict pain on a window glass?" Toph drawled, her voice practically dripping with boredom.

"Shut up, Toph." He hissed angrily as he leaned against the window sill and exhaled sharply.

"What's wrong?" She said quietly.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong. Just go back to sleep or whatever it was you were doing." Aang said through gritted teeth.

And as if things couldn't get any more annoying, Katara appeared from the kitchen, balancing a tray laden with plates in her hand. "Hi, Aang. Back already?" She said monotonously. However, the air bender couldn't help but notice that she seemed much more happier when she spoke next. "I see Zuko's not back yet. Did he get lost?" She asked innocently.

Aang didn't bother to reply, his fists opening and closing as he breathed through his nose. "Okay, Twinkles. You really need to calm down." Toph said worriedly.

"What's wrong?" Katara asked suspiciously.

"His heart's going crazy." The earth bender murmured.

"H-he... that bastard!" Aang suddenly said as he turned around to face them. "First he does that to me and now? Now, he's in a stupid bar with some stupid blonde player." The air bender said, his voice barely more than a deadly whisper.

"What? What did he do to you?" Katara demanded but Toph merely gaped at him.

"Sparky? In a bar?" She wondered in alarm. "When did that happen?"

"I don't care when it happened. If I'm gay then so are you." Aang said in a horrible imitation of Zuko's voice. "That..." He said and several rather colorful swearwords followed, causing Katara to let out a gasp and Toph to gape even more.

"Aang! What is wrong with you?" She admonished.

"Not a good time, Katara..." Toph murmured just as Aang exploded.

"ME? What's wrong with ME? What's WRONG with ZUKO? He's out in some bar FUCKING a stranger barely an hour after he..." Aang hollered angrily and then abruptly came to a stop as he realized that he had said 'fuck' and also that he had almost confided in Katara that they had made out.

"Zuko's in a bar? Fucking someone? Shit!" Toph said and Aang did not miss the underlying giddiness in her voice.

"Aang! What did Zuko do to you?" Katara demanded. "Did he rape you? Did he come on to you?"

"Just leave me ALONE!" Aang hollered and a deathly silence fell in the living room as his air bender's tattoos momentarily glowed, more brightly than Katara had ever seen them glow, before dying out again.

"Aang! Are you o-" Katara began worriedly but was cut off as Aang brought his fist down on Iroh's table.

"Enough!" He said loudly, his cheeks flushing red with anger. "That's enough, Katara. Just be quiet." He demanded in a very unAang-like voice.

"But-" Katara persisted but her sentence ended in a shriek as Toph suddenly latched onto her arm.

"Shut up, Sugar Queen." She hissed at her before turning to Aang. "Just calm down, Twinkles. We'll leave you alone now." She said quietly before practically hauling Katara out of the living room. As they disappeared from sight, the door to Iroh's room slid open and the fire bender stepped out.

"What a large amount of noise, Avatar Aang." He exclaimed as the air bender sat down on the floor next to the window.

"I'm sorry. I just...got a little angry." He said shakily as he pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them.

"May I ask why?" Iroh asked politely as he pulled up a chair and sat down beside the air bender.

"It's nothing." Aang mumbled.

"You're crying." The fire bender stated simply and Aang jerked back in surprise.

"No, I'm not." He said defiantly.

"You're right. You're not. But you're about to." Iroh said humorously and despite himself, Aang's lips twitched at the silly joke. "Now, what could make someone like you cry?" The old fire bender wondered.

"It's..." Aang began and then uncertainly glanced up at Iroh. Something in his golden eyes told him that he already knew. "Zuko." He mumbled as he looked away.

"What has my dear nephew done this time?" Iroh asked.

"It's kind of...his business?" Aang ventured weakly. "It's not really my place to tell."

"Well, that's not what I gathered from your rather loud proclamations just now." Iroh said merrily and Aang found himself blushing.

"Aren't you angry that he's off with some..." guy? "one. That's he's off with someone when he should really be...I don't know. He has a girlfriend, doesn't he?" Aang mumbled miserably.

"Well, that depends on what you mean when you say that he's off with someone." Iroh said slyly.

Aang hastily looked away, feeling like he would blush even more if he looked Iroh in the eye. "I can't say..." He mumbled guiltily.

"You did say it earlier." Iroh pointed out with a smile.

"Yeah, well. That was different. I was angry." He muttered.

"Well either way, Avatar Aang, you can rest assured that Zuko will have both of us to deal with in the morning." Iroh said with a chuckle as he stood up. "Why don't you and your friends stay here for the night? It's a little late to be wandering the streets now." The fire bender said with a smile.

Aang looked up at him with a strained smile. "Yes, thank you. Sokka and Suki are probably already asleep." He murmured, noticing that he hadn't seen the two of them ever since entering the house.

"Indeed, they are. I would suggest that you get some sleep as well." Iroh said as he got up and waddled over to his bedroom. "Good night, Avatar Aang." He called as he slid the door shut.

"Good night, Uncle Iroh." Aang replied and with a flick of his wrists, all the candles in the room flickered and then went out. In the semi-darkness of the room, it didn't take long for the air bender to fall asleep.

Zuko almost tripped over his own feet as he leaned heavily against the wall of the staircase leading up to Iroh's apartment. His head was splitting with pain and in the sunlight flitting in through the small windows lining the walls, he could barely see straight. Every sound seemed to be magnified and it was taking every ounce of his will power to climb those steps. Ten minutes passed and he finally slid open the door to Iroh's apartment, which had been considerately left open for him.

However, his attempts at discretion were ruined as he stumbled forward and fell flat onto his face in the hallway. Barely an inch away from his head was a pair of shoes that looked distinctly like Aang's and he was sure now that the blanket sprawled on the floor of the doorway had been placed their on purpose. And he had rather unwittingly fallen for it all.

"Hey, Aang." He said weakly as he rolled over onto his back and dizzily smiled up at the air bender. However, his smile faltered as Aang's expression remained stony and he folded his arms across his chest. "Have fun with your new friend?" He asked scathingly.

"What new friend?" Zuko murmured as he closed his eyes. However, they snapped wide open as Aang stomped over to stand in front of him.

"The one who was groping you last night." Aang said exasperatedly.

Zuko's eyes narrowed suspiciously and he sat up. "What's it to you?" He snapped, blindly placing a hand on the wall beside him as he felt himself losing his balance. "And anyway, what were you doing there? It's a bar." He said scathingly.

"That sure didn't stop you." Aang retorted.

"Aang, you're twelve. I'm way more mature than you." Zuko said condescendingly as he managed to haul himself to his feet.

"Yeah, mature enough to have sex with a guy who was surely five years older than you." Aang hissed angrily and Zuko faltered, his face flushing red with color as he looked away.

"Who gave you the right to spy on me?" Zuko growled as he advanced towards the air bender.

"You know, Zuko. You're the biggest hypocrite I've ever known. First you kiss me and then you run off to some blond wierdo who's probably just playing you." Aang said angrily.

"HEY!" Zuko yelled and the air bender flinched as he stomped towards him. "You're the one who was having a nervous breakdown when I did kiss you. And now you think we should give it another shot and run off into the sunset playing boyfriend-girlfriend?" Zuko hissed, his face contorting with rage as he shoved the air bender against the door.

"That has nothing to do with this. The point is that you have a girlfriend and even if you did suddenly come to the divine revelation that you're gay, then you should at least have the decency to break it off with her." Aang hollered in his face.

"Oh, please, Aang! You're the one who was moaning and squirming like some slut against the wall, just yesterday so don't talk to me about decency!" Zuko retorted angrily.

A few seconds passed in silence and Zuko saw the air bender's eyes cloud over with anger. "What did you just call me?" He whispered dangerously.

"A slut." Zuko hissed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." He said and with one last hard shove, he left Aang slumped against the door.

Toph jerked awake just as a loud crash and thump followed by a pain-filled yell echoed throughout the apartment. She could hear thundering footsteps as Katara practically bounded out of the room and at once followed.

Practically blasting the door open, the two of them stumbled into the doorway, neatly avoiding a lamp that came flying their way. Right in the middle of the living room lay Zuko, Aang firmly sitting on his chest. The air bender's fist was streaked with blood and beneath him, the fire bender's breathing was erratic, blood running down his face in little rivulets and something that looked vaguely like a tooth was floating in the pool of crimson liquid rapidly accumulating beside his head..

"ME? THE SLUT? YOU'RE THE SLUT HERE. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RUNS AROUND. HAVING. SEX. WITH. STRANGERS. IN. BARS." Aang's voice yelled, his fist connecting solidly with Zuko's stomach and face with each word.

"Aang! Stop." Zuko managed to choke out but his words ended in a groan of pain as Aang landed a neat punch onto his stomach.

"Twinkes! What is WRONG with you?" Toph yelled as she sensed both of their thundering hearts and the erratic pumping of blood through Zuko's system.

"Aang! Stop it. You're hurting him!" Katara admonished as she rushed over to the two of them.

"That's the point!" Aang growled as he landed one last punch on Zuko's face.

"Enough!" A voice suddenly rumbled through the room, successfully scaring Aang into silence. "What is going on here?" Iroh snapped as he waddled over to Zuko and Aang.

"Twinkes, come here right this second." Toph demanded and the air bender dazedly obliged.

"Avatar Aang. It is one thing to insult my nephew but to physically assault him. In my home? That is completely dishonorable." Iroh said gravely as he placed his finger onto Zuko's pulse point.

"I can heal him." Katara offered as she snatched her water-skin from the dining table and kneeled beside Zuko. Several minutes passed in silence before Aang suddenly stumbled over to the fire bender, his eyes confused.

"What is wrong with you, Aang?" Katara snapped as he joined her.

"He- I...I d-don't know what came... over me." Aang mumbled as he buried his face in his hands.

Beside him, Zuko murmured something inaudible and Aang miserably leaned in to listen.: "What?" He mumble. Several seconds passed in silence and the fire bender's voice was pained when he said:

"I...d-didn't have sex with...him."

Uh-oh. Silly Aang xD
Since you've all been such fantabulous reviewers, a nice little sneak peek for you all ^_^

"I feel that you and Zuko have too many issues. Too many things left unsaid. So, you two will be temporarily moving into my apartment so that you can figure a few things in private, without any...hesitation."
-Iroh to Aang

Well, isn't that exciting? x] So, don't forget to review since I sense lots of lemon-scented yumminess in the near future :P And thank you sooo much for the reviews! :DDDDDDD Lol, though I hope you like how I made everything turn out...Sorry there's no Avatar state xP

AND OMFG, ALMOST A 100 REVIEWS! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! XD In celebration of that, how about we all go crazy..Go on, abuse that little blue (or is it green o.o) button :P!

IRapeLlamas: Lol, sorry I didn't reply earlier but I saw that video and it was fucking HILARIOUS! Lmfao, especially that part: 'what does it matter to me what you do in bed with guys!" and that paired up with Jet's perverted grin. Classssicc! Lmfao! Thank you so much for recommending it to me. It made my day XDD

I really suggest that you guys see that video too xD Its called 'If Zuko was Gay' ^_^

-Jade258