Sam patiently waited until the room was empty, with the exception of her and Jack. She still wasn't sure whether to be angry that Janet had declared her unfit to make medical decision regarding her own treatment or to be relieved that someone was taking the decision out of her hands. She didn't like feeling helpless, that was for sure, but it looked like Janet and Jack were both looking out for her welfare. On the other hand, Daniel was her friend as well and he wanted her to take the chance the women were offering her, using that little device to recall her lost memories. Her first instinct was to decline once she heard what the little device actually did! If it was capable of recalling someone's memories by being attached to the temple it had to be a technological marvel as well as dangerous, considering the brain was so very sensitive – by now she had firsthand experience to testify to that.

A few days ago she'd been worried that perhaps her memories were truly gone and she would have refused any help from a device that powerful, but now that she'd started to remember Uncle George and what had happened to her parents, she wasn't so sure. It definitely looked as if her memories were simply repressed, but what would be the point in that? Was it not usually traumatic experiences that were suppressed by the subconscious? Granted, the death of both her parents was not a cherished event but why would she forget everything about her life? Then again, if her amnesia was the result of what happened to her during her months of absence, perhaps it was better that she couldn't remember what happened to her….

"Jack?"

"Look Sam," he started, dragging a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know you don't like this," he gestured with his hand, trying to encompass the situation they found themselves in. "But the Doc is right; without your memories you can't make an informed decision."

"Well, then, inform me," she stated as she slipped from the bed and started pacing the floor, glancing at him every now and then.

"It's not that simple," he protested, frowning. "You know that."

"Do I?"

Ungraciously plopping down in the chair, he sighed. "Yeah, you do."

Taking in his defeated form, Sam stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bed, facing him. "All I know is that they are offering me a chance to remember," she emphasized the word, pleading him to talk to her about this with her eyes. "And you're so damn adamant that I can't use it!"

"Sam-"

"No Jack," she shook her head, "you hardly let them finish their offer before shooting them down. Hell, you didn't even ask me how I felt about it!"

"Fraiser already told me earlier… there was no reason for me to-"

Shocked, Sam gaped at him. "No reason? No reason to ask my opinion before making such a huge decision?"

"Ah crap," Jack muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's not what I meant, Sam."

"Well, it sure as hell sounded like it," she grunted.

"C'mon," he tried again, "there is always a catch with those snakes and I'm not about to let them have their way with you…."

Hearing his voice trail off, Sam squinted at him. The guys and Janet had explained to her that the women, who were called Tok'ra, were aliens, allies of them. Which was exactly why she was wondering why there would be a catch, surely one should be able to trust their allies? Instead, there had been hostility in the room when the Tok'ra had gotten here, most of it radiating from Jack. It made her wonder what it was all about and why he was holding such a grudge against them, even calling them snakes! "Why?"

Jack's head snapped up as she almost whispered the word. "Why what?"

"Why don't you want me to remember?"

"God Sam," he replied, jumping up and sitting beside her on the bed. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close to him as he closed his eyes and nuzzled her hair before letting his chin rest on the top of her head. "I'd do anything for you to remember, but I will not risk your sanity, your brain, your life for it!"

Touched by the emotions in his voice, Sam slowly nodded against his shoulder. "But I've used it in the past, right? We all have and I'm still here."

"That was different," he murmured in her hair, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms.

"How?"

Realizing he couldn't really convince her without telling her more, he decided to once again ignore Dr. King's instructions. "Well, the one time we all used it was very brief and the memories we were forced to remember weren't lost or anything."

Scrunching up her nose, Sam tightened her grip on his waist. "I don't understand. Why use the device if your memories aren't gone?"

"It was a trap," Jack elaborated, "they wanted information from us and pretended to be from the future…." Hearing her snort, he smirked. "Never mind, anyway, they were simply asking us questions so they could literally see what our minds came up with as an answer."

Sam found it hard to believe anyone would try to pretend to be from the future, but let him finish his explanation anyway. "Then what happened?"

"I realized what they were doing and found you and the others," he shrugged, not really wanting to be reminded of Hathor's mock up of the SGC and what had happened to them there.

"I see," she replied, thinking back to when those Tok'ra had told her about their solution. "What was that about someone named Marty then?"

Jack grimaced at the mention of Martouf's name. He'd never been too fond of the guy, not with the way he'd been acting towards Sam and trying to charm her with his boyish good looks. "There were some things buried in your subconscious and that information was needed to save someone important," he told her, not liking the way he had to pick his words carefully.

"Really, what? And who?" Sam asked, leaning back to look at his face.

"That's not important now," Jack tried to dismiss her question, but still felt like a bastard when he saw the flash of hurt in her eyes before she nodded slowly.

Trying not to feel hurt, she simply nodded, knowing he wouldn't tell her more if she asked. "Oh okay."

"Sam," he gently cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "You remembered what we needed back then, even if it did not go down the way we'd hoped… still, you remembered a lot more than just that and it has been haunting you ever since. You've had several nightmares about the things you remembered yet never lived through yourself," he saw her frown at that and quickly continued. "It was a painful experience for you, not to mention the recalling of the memories itself was pretty painful. Besides, there is no way to control what you will remember. You can try to target specific memories by thinking of something similar, but that's kind of hard with you…"

"Without me remembering anything," Sam finished his sentence, swallowing hard as she was once again confronted with the thought that she might not remember anything ever again!

"Hey," Jack whispered, holding her chin gently. "You'll remember something, eventually," he tried to reassure her, even if he wasn't sure himself. "You already remembered something about Hammond and your parents."

"I know," she glanced down, fighting the desire to simply grab the device and try it out anyway. She wanted to remember her life… more specifically, she wanted to remember Jack and their life together.

Leaning forward, Jack pressed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, unable to repress the urge any longer. "It'll work out, Sam, but I won't let them hurt you over something that might not even work – or at least not the way you want it to."

Sam gave him a small smile, feeling her cheeks burn after his affectionate gesture and she nodded gently. "Okay, I… I trust you," she admitted, surprised that she really did trust him to make such a decision concerning her life, her memories!

"Okay, good," he replied in kind as he got up, before he got carried away with his emotions and her presence. "I'll let them know."

"Just…" she bit her lip and then shook her head. "Never mind."

"What? You can tell me, Sam."

She shrugged and made a dismissive wave with her hand as she ducked her head, feeling slightly embarrassed. "No, I just wanted to ask you something, it's nothing."

"You can ask me anything," Jack told her, trying to convince her with his eyes. He didn't want her to be afraid to ask him something, no matter what it was! It was one of the reasons he didn't like the list the two doctors had given him.

"Well," she bit her lip, contemplating her next course of action. Seeing the earnest in his eyes, she decided to just ask. "Why do you dislike those Tok'ra?"

"Oh," he shrugged, not expecting her to ask him that. "Bad experiences, that's all. Nothing for you to be worried about."

"So, it's got nothing to do with… Anise or Freya, whatever her name is," Sam frowned, confusing herself.

Jack felt his eyebrows rise of their own volition and cleared his throat. "What? Why would you think that?"

"I may not remember," she frowned, not wanting to acknowledge the strong feelings that had come to the surface earlier, when Jack and that woman were standing next to her bed. "But I'm not blind."

"What are you talking about, Sam?" he asked cautiously, slightly nervous as he had a feeling he knew what she was referring to.

Sighing, Sam rolled her eyes before locking gazes with his brown eyes. "I can still read between the lines and there was definitely something between you two."

"What, no," Jack immediately shook his head, protesting at the mere thought alone. However, he couldn't help the fleeting memory of Freya coming on to him right after that first Zatarc test.

"You don't have to lie to me," she told him, seeing his face flush slightly and thinking that perhaps that was… guilt in his eyes? "It was in the past, right?"

"Sam," he scrubbed his face with his hand, before grimacing. "There's nothing between that snakehead and me, okay? She's got the hots for Daniel."

"Right," Sam huffed, clearly not believing him. Why was he being this difficult about it? Couldn't he just admit there was something? She'd seen the possessive hand on his arm and heard the purring voice of the overly exposed woman, leaving nothing to the imagination. Or maybe it had been an issue between them before she'd gone missing? Or… what if something happened between him and that woman while Sam had been missing?

"Seriously Carter," Jack groaned. "She tried to come on to me years ago, but nothing ever happened."

"She seemed awfully surprised to hear that we were married."

Jack blinked at her, knowing she was right but at the same time wondering if perhaps Samantha Carter, kickass confident soldier was… jealous? "Well yeah, we haven't exactly been in touch for quite some time."

"Oh," she said slowly, narrowing her eyes at him, trying to read his expression. It didn't look like he was trying to hide something, as a matter of fact, it looked like he was telling the God honest truth. Good, Sam thought to herself. "Okay, well go tell her that I'm not going to need her help."

"Yes Ma'am," he smirked at her, throwing her a sloppy salute before sauntering out of the room. He'd always known that Sam disliked Anise and Freya, but Jack had simply assumed it was because of the Tok'ra's behavior with those armbands and later on the Zatarc testing. Never in a million years had he expected her to be jealous of that snakehead! Of course, he couldn't be sure she was actually feeling that way, but it sure looked like it….

"Are you sure about this, Janet?" Sam frowned as she stepped out of the car, squinting at bright sunbeams.

Nodding, Janet got out from behind the wheel and slammed the door shut, before locking the car. "Yes Sam, it's exactly what we need."

"So, we did this often then?"

She shrugged, rearranging her purse as she slipped her car keys in it. "Every now and then… you know, in our line of work – in this man's army – we need some pampering."

"I see," Sam mumbled, following the petite doctor into the building. There were no signs or feelings of familiarity as she waited for Janet to tell the receptionist they were here for their appointment and looked around the waiting room. "Are you sure?"

"Most definitely," Janet lied. She couldn't remember how many times she'd begged Sam to go with her to the spa, but she could count the times her best friend had – reluctantly – agreed on one hand, including the one time before her wedding. "You love it," she tried to reassure her as the receptionist signaled that they could go to the dressing room. "Besides, you said yourself that you weren't feeling like… yourself."

"Well, yes," she reluctantly agreed, following her into the room. "But I don't know, it just sounds so…."

"Trust me, it'll be great," Janet waved her protests away and quickly divested herself of her clothes. "It will be good for you to relax." It was true, Sam was still very tense not that it was strange considering her current condition, but it wasn't good for her blood pressure and what not. "It's not like you had anything else to do, right?"

"No, I guess not," Sam admitted as she slowly took off her clothes. "Jack had that urgent videoconference and after that he was supposed to be in on the briefing with those Tok'ra and Teal'c…."

"I know," she nodded. General O'Neill had asked her to stay with Sam, keep her company or go do something fun. Although she was pretty sure he hadn't expected her to take his wife with her to the spa while he tried to wrap up some last briefings about Ba'al and his clones – not that she could tell Sam that – before finally taking Sam home with him. At the moment, Janet didn't want to think about that; she was happy that Sam was physically healthy and ready to leave her infirmary to spend time with her husband in the hopes of remembering more things about her life, but at the same time she knew the General would be taking her with him to Washington tomorrow or the day after. It would be hard without her friend, having been at her side the entire time since she'd gotten back home a few weeks ago, especially since she'd been missing for almost eight months! Next to that, she was worried about Sam's health, mentally as well as physically if she wasn't able to check up on her.

Glancing at her friend, Sam tried to overcome the dread she'd been feeling since Janet had told her where they were going and sighed. "What kind of treatments did you sign us up for?"

"Massages, mud baths, manicure, pedicure, waxing and all sorts of pampering. Don't worry; it'll only be a few hours. I'm sure we'll be done by the time General O'Neill is done at the SGC as well and if not, he can make sure everything is ready at the apartment before I drop you off."

"Waxing?" Sam gulped, grimacing slightly.

"Well," Janet smirked at her. "You were gone for almost eight months," she made a vague hand gesture towards the other woman's legs before going up the rest of her body.

Sam snorted and wrapped a white robe around her body, before glancing in the mirror. "What about my hair? I still can't get used to seeing… me," she admitted shyly, raking a hand through her long blond locks.

"Yeah, it has definitely grown, at least four inches."

"Do you think I should cut it?"

Jack quickly moved through the apartment, checking to see if Sam was holing up in one of the rooms. Although, he suspected she'd have shown herself the moment he'd unlocked the door and yelled her name… Nope, no sign of his wife. Sighing, he turned on the shower and shed his dress blues. As if having an urgent videoconference with the President, the JCS and the IOA wasn't bad enough, he'd been forced to wear his dress blues again.

Damn, he really started to dislike the President! First his grave mistake with Sam, declaring her MIA and then KIA without any evidence, then demanding he'd get back to Washington knowing about Sam's condition only to call an emergency meeting a few hours later that day after he'd been told that Jack was finally going to take Sam home! Groaning, he stepped under the hot water and quickly rinsed himself.

Luckily, the meeting and the subsequent briefing had gone over faster than he'd imagined! The only problem was that he'd told Janet to take Sam with her, have some fun and they hadn't gotten back yet! Well, at least he could make sure to get everything ready here. Not that they would stay here long enough for that, thanks to the President.

As he lathered his body, Jack thought about dinner and whether he should cook… probably better if he didn't, there was no grill and he doubted Sam could stomach his special omelets at the moment, especially if she was still taking some of her medication…Crap! He'd totally forgotten to talk to the Doc about her meds; they were supposed to have that little chat before he took Sam home, but with the extra meeting and the briefing – those damn snakes insisted on being kept in the loop about their and the Free Jaffa's information about Ba'al and the President had, of course, agreed with them – he hadn't had the time to talk to Fraiser!

Rinsing the last remains of soap, Jack turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his narrow hips. A quick shave later, he fumbled around the closet and got out a pair of boxers, jeans and an off-white sweater. Having put on some clothes, he moved through the apartment, opening some windows despite the cold temperatures outside and turning on the coffee machine.

He made an inventory of the food – barely there – and contemplated whether to go to the supermarket and get them some or simply call for some Chinese food or pizza… Well, they had to eat something tomorrow before going to Washington. Plus, if he could do the groceries now he could buy whatever they needed in DC as well, which meant he wouldn't have to leave Sam alone tomorrow and she wasn't here at the moment so going to the store meant he didn't have to sit on his ass worrying about her.

Making up his mind, Jack grabbed his leather jacket and, checking his cell phone and pocketing it, he went downstairs and grabbed the car he'd borrowed from the base. It wouldn't be too long before he'd be back and hopefully, his wife would be here by then as well!

"It's delicious," Sam grinned at him as she took another bite from the slice of pizza.

Jack grinned back and took a sip of his wine. "Good, I'll bet it's even better than that commissary food, right?"

"Definitely," she chuckled. "I was really getting hungry after that long day."

"You and Janet have fun?" he asked, curious. When they'd gotten back they hadn't spoken much of what they'd done, Janet had simply taken him aside to give him some medical instructions.

Sam shrugged, her gaze on the red wine as she absentmindedly moved the glass in her hands. "It was… nice," she meant that; talking with Janet had been nice. It was the other things, the massages and mud baths when she'd felt slightly uncomfortable. She knew there was nothing wrong with her body, that she was in good condition – even if she was still rather skinny according to Janet – but she simply didn't feel very at ease around strangers while she was almost naked. She wasn't even going to think about the waxing!

"What did you do?"

"Oh, we went to the spa," she mumbled, before taking a sip of the red liquid.

Stunned, Jack simply stared at her, gaping. "What?"

"The spa."

He grinned as he took another slice of pizza and cocked his head to the side, looking at her lovely features. "I didn't think you'd ever go back to the spa after that time before the wedding."

"What?" She asked, alarmed all of a sudden.

Realizing his slip, Jack mentally slapped himself. "Well, you said you didn't like being around strangers butt naked, let alone them touching you with massages," he shrugged, thinking it wasn't that big of a deal to tell her.

"I knew it!"

"Knew what?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

Sam huffed, before swallowing the last of her wine. "I asked Janet if we did this often and she said we did and that I loved it!"

Jack chuckled at the indignant expression on her face, accompanied by rosy cheeks from the candles and wine. "Yeah, sounds like that little Napoleonic power monger lied to you."

Ignoring his gloating, Sam snatched the last slice of pizza out from under his nose. "Jack, did we spend a lot of time here?"

"What?" he asked, realizing she was changing the subject. "Do you mean here in Colorado Springs or-"

"The apartment," she replied softly, glancing around the small living room.

"No, not really," he shrugged. "Why?"

Sam grimaced slightly as she continued her survey. The modern furniture, the white walls adorned with only a few framed pictures, the lack of personal items… "I don't remember any of it," she admitted, ducking her head.

"It's okay, Sam," Jack leaned forward and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Give it time."

She nodded, not knowing how to put in words what she was feeling. She felt so… lost. Hating her body, her mind for betraying her – for keeping her life from her. Then there was Jack; kind, patient, comforting… loving? She didn't know, couldn't tell for sure but she hoped so. After all, they were married right? His brown eyes searched her face and she gave him a small smile. "I'm getting tired… must be all the excitement from today," she referred to the alien visit, being released from the infirmary, her trip to the spa and going to their apartment, "plus the massages… I felt so… languid after that."

"I know," he responded, getting up from his seat to clear the table. Better not get carried away, thinking about her like that while she was still so fragile. He couldn't help himself, though as images of her long, slender body went through his mind. Their long nights making love, simply holding each other or giving her a backrub. Oh yeah, he definitely knew what a good massage did to her! Ignoring the flames going through his body, Jack walked back to the kitchen to dump the pizza box and the empty bottle of wine. "Why don't you take a bath while I clean up?" He fought the images his own words conjured when he heard her reply an affirmative and went to clean the kitchen to get her off his mind… oh yeah, get her off – Crap!

Pulling on the fluffy robe, Sam combed her hair back as she looked in the mirror. She was looking better than a few days ago, she mused. The dark circles under her eyes were almost completely gone, which shouldn't come as a surprise to her considering she'd hardly done anything these last few days but sleep or rest. For a moment she wondered if Jack was waiting for her, his rummaging about in the small apartment having ceased as far as she could hear. Brushing her teeth and applying moisturizer to her face, she decided it was time to leave the still steaming bathroom.

She opened the door and looked both ways down the hallway, wondering if Jack was on her right – the living room – or if he would have gone to her left – the bedroom. Not wanting to make assumptions, she made her way to the living room to find him sitting on the couch, watching a game of hockey.

Jack looked over his shoulder when he heard the soft padding from her bare feet and found himself catching his breath as she stood there, giving him a small smile with her wet hair combed back, flushed cheeks and the fluffy robe. He still couldn't fathom how gorgeous she was, even after all these years and he certainly didn't understand how in hell he'd gotten so lucky to have her as his wife.

"Um, hi," Sam smiled shyly, biting her lip as she watched him watching her.

"Hi," he replied lamely, quickly turning back to the TV screen, taking a swig of his beer. "Had a good bath?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, walking around the other side of the couch to sit next to him. "Although I did feel I was shrinking, having spent an hour in a herbal bath already this afternoon."

"Hm," Jack nodded absently, trying to keep his overactive imagination from going a certain direction.

Feeling uncomfortable, Sam shifted a bit on the couch. "I'm getting rather tired…."

Jack glanced at the clock and realized he was getting tired too, even if it was only 2130 hours. "I already changed the sheets, but the window is still open in the bedroom."

"That's okay," she replied, "I like the cold, fresh air after being in the mountain for so long."

"I figured as much."

Sam stood hesitantly, wondering what was going to happen next since he was just sitting there. Would he insist on taking her to bed, sleeping with her – making love? Did she want him to? By the looks of it, he wasn't going anywhere and all of a sudden she felt insecure again. What if he didn't want to make love to her? She frowned to herself; why was that such an upsetting thought? Surely she couldn't just jump into bed with him, even if they were married. Granted, she felt safe around him but she hardly knew him… yet, she knew she didn't want him to reject her. At the same time, though, she wasn't ready for that. Not yet, at least. "Jack?"

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up at where she was standing next to the couch, trying to sound casual.

"I think I'll be heading to bed, then," she tried again, wondering why he wasn't saying or doing something – anything!

"Okay," he shrugged, hoping she wouldn't realize his voice just went up a notch.

"What about you? Aren't you tired yet?"

Swallowing hard, Jack gave her a quick onceover. At the moment, he could think of better things than spend his time sleeping in a bed. "Uh yeah," he suppressed a yawn and stood, stretching his lean frame before turning off the TV. "I made a bed in the guestroom," he gestured towards the door across from the bathroom. "If you need anything, that's where I'll be."

"Oh, okay," Sam tried to swallow the disappointment she felt, without acknowledging the fact that she'd been hoping he'd take her to bed – just to sleep. "Goodnight then."

A/N: Thanks to elleelle for her suggestion regarding Freya/Anise!