Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Warning: "Life in the Balance" is the story of Bella facing the consequences of the way she chose to end the vicious cycle of an abusive relationship. The telling of such a story requires the retelling of the events that led to her choice, many of which contains acts of domestic violence and abuse in all its incarnations. If you are uncomfortable with reading these types of depictions, please do not read the flashbacks as they will tell her story as it happened.

Thanks as always to Loulabelle and AgoodWITCH, my most awesome pre-reader and beta. I love you two so very much. I can't forget all my WC girls for all the encouragement. Ladies, you are the best. Love ya tons.

Chapter 13 – Letting It All Out

Bella

January 4, 2010

I hadn't talked to a soul in five days. The warden apparently stopped all visitations, both personal and professional, until after the New Year. It wouldn't have bothered me too much because the only one who came to see me was my lawyer, and after my embarrassing behavior the last time he was here, I was glad to have a few days away from him. What made me more upset than anything was the fact that I hadn't been able to talk to Paul once the entire time.

In the last two months, I hadn't gone more than three days without being able to steal at least a few minutes with him. He made my nights bearable when he would stop and talk to me because I could always count on him to make me laugh, make me smile, give me advice and even call me out when I was being exceptionally stubborn about something. Like Jacob, I looked at Paul like another brother and I really missed him.

Oh well, today would be a little less lonely since my lawyer was allowed back in to see me. Being completely honest, I kind of missed him too. He had been the only constant presence in my life from the time I got here and I never thought about how much I started to really want him around. His constant touches and hugs and the way we were able to have normal conversations now was actually something I looked forward to everyday, but I would never tell him that.

I was sitting on my bed reading through my journal, steeling myself for what I was going to be sharing with him today. I put this off as long as I could, but it was time to start talking about what James was really like and everything he did to me. Today wasn't going to be a good day, but I would take it one step at a time, and knowing he was going to be there to give me strength and comfort, I knew I could get through it.

"On your feet, Swan," Whitlock commanded, as he walked through my cell door.

I put my journal back under my pillow and jumped off the bed, ready to get this over with. I held out my hands so he could put the cuffs on.

"No fighting today." He cocked his eyebrow at me.

"No fighting." I felt the smallest tinge of color creep into my cheeks. "Sorry about that. I was having a bad day. I shouldn't have taken things out on you."

He shrugged, giving me the exact response I expected. I almost laughed but it didn't seem appropriate so I held it in.

"Let's go." He gave me a small nudge to get me moving.

It took longer than normal to walk to the meeting room and several times along the way; I could have sworn I heard Whitlock exhaling louder than necessary. When we finally made it to the door, I watched him hesitate slightly to put the key in the lock. His behavior was off and it was making me uncomfortable.

After unlocking the door, he led me into the room and sat me down in the chair just like normal so he could remove the handcuffs. He put his hand on my shoulder before he walked away. "I'm sorry," he whispered so softly that I almost missed it.

Before he left though, he actually looked me in the eye with an almost sad expression on his face, making me feel even worse than before. I knew something was up, because he looked…bothered.

What the hell is going on?

The door closed and I looked from it to my lawyer, standing by the window with his back to me. It took a few minutes for him to move or even acknowledge my presence and when he finally did turn to face me, he looked like he was forcing himself to smile at me. It didn't have any effect on his face whatsoever and that just made my nervous feeling spike to an unhealthy level.

"What's going on around here? Are you okay?" I asked as he took his seat across from me.

"Everything's fine. How was your hol…sorry, never mind." He gave a short, nervous laugh.

"It's okay. I'm not going to flip out on you or anything." I took a deep breath. "That's actually what I wanted to talk about today. This isn't going to be easy for me and I don't…"

The feeling in the room compounded the nervous feeling I already had in the pit of my stomach and I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Go on, Bella." His hand on mine calmed me a little.

"I've been stalling, trying to put off getting to the harder memories." My heart rate sped up and I could barely breathe. "But there really isn't anything left but the bad things. I don't know if I can make to the end of it, but I'll try."

A look of relief crossed his face and he gave me a genuine smile as both of his hands held mine now. "They're just memories. He can't hurt you anymore. And you've got me, Bella. I'm here for you, no matter what."

I took what comfort I could from his words. "New Year's Eve was really when it all started. I still don't know what caused him to lose it the way he did, but that was the first real beating he gave me."

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December 31, 2005

I wanted nothing more than to spend a quiet night at home, cuddled on the couch, sipping champagne and watching the ball drop on TV, but James had other ideas. A friend of his was having a party and we were going whether I liked it or not. I tried to talk to him about it, but there was no changing his mind. I was in our walk-in closet searching for my red shoes to go with the dress I was wearing when James came in behind me.

"You're not wearing that are you?" he asked as he put his hand on the small of my back.

I turned to him and looked down at my dress, his hand slid to my side as I moved. He pulled me closer and moved in to kiss my neck one time.

"I thought you were wearing the black one. Red just doesn't look right." He pulled back, placing a hand on my cheek and staring me right in the eye. "One of us is going to have to change."

He kissed my forehead and walked out. I turned around and searched my hangers for one of my black dresses. I didn't see the reason for the change, but I wasn't going to question him when it was almost time to leave. I knew how much he hated being late. I changed my hair a little, put different jewelry on that matched the new dress and I was ready to go.

His back was turned to me as I made it to the stairs, but the clicking of my heels alerted him to my presence. He turned to face me and it was just like a movie scene. His smile was brilliant and his eyes sparkled as he watched me walk down the stairs. He reached out and grabbed me off the bottom step, spinning me around a couple of times before setting me on my feet.

"Babe, you're beautiful." He brushed his lips against mine. "I love you in black."

I loved the compliments he would give me because even the simplest words from him would make me smile. I hugged him one last time before he led me out the door.

The party was fun. It was definitely different than a New Year's Eve party at my house, but it was one of the only times I had seen James really loosen up. He was talking and laughing with his friends and I stayed close to his side all night. I wasn't included in the conversation too much, but it didn't bother me. I was still enjoying myself.

I was asked to dance one time and I turned the man down as I noticed James look at me out of the corner of his eye. I knew it would bother him and I definitely didn't want a repeat of the Halloween incident either, so I stayed in my seat, moving my body to the music playing throughout the night.

Midnight came and as everyone gathered for the countdown, James held me close and whispered the numbers from ten to one in my ear, every one made me shiver with excitement.

"Happy New Year, babe." He kissed the spot right behind my ear. "You know what this means, right?"

His lips burned a line from my ear to my lips. My breaths were short as my hormones went into overdrive again.

"What." I could barely speak and only managed one word.

His hands were on either side of my face and his thumbs caressed my cheeks as he looked at me with the look that made my knees weak.

"You're mine, Bella, for one more year."

His lips crashed into mine in a passionate kiss. This wasn't like him at all. He hated public displays like this, and to have him do it here in this crowded room was strange, but I wasn't going to complain. I broke the kiss, completely out of breath and I looked up at him to see his smile.

"I know you want to stay, but I'm really ready to get out of here." I winked at him, hoping he knew what I meant. His smile grew wider…he knew.

Goodbyes were said quickly and we were out the door, kissing all the way to the car. He opened my door for me and I got in after one last kiss. He sped back home, his hand moving higher and higher up my leg as he drove. I didn't realize the time had gone so quickly until he slammed on the brakes in front of the house.

He was at my door in seconds, practically pulling me out of the seat, cradling me in his arms, and kissing me as we made our way into the house. He began undressing me the second the door slammed shut.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The chair scraping across the floor pulled me from my memory as he jumped up, pacing and mumbling to himself again. He exhaled heavily as he threw his back against the wall. His eyes were focused on the floor when he spoke.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Please…continue."

The bitterness in his voice surprised me and Paul's words were in my head again. I instantly felt guilty because he didn't need to hear about that stuff.

"No, I didn't think and I'm sorry. I know you don't need to hear about all of that, but I was just going through the night as it happened."

"Its fine, Bella." His voice softened. "I'm not dumb and I know the two of you did…that, but I…"

"I really am sorry." I exhaled. "Will you please come and sit with me?"

He looked shocked, but came back to the table. The look of shock doubled as I grabbed his hand when he sat down. It wasn't my normal behavior, but I knew I was going to need his comfort as I finished.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

We woke up on the couch, me laying on his chest and his arms holding me so I wouldn't fall off. I lifted my head to look at him and he looked distracted.

"Hey," I touched his cheek, "you still with me?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking." His blue eyes found mine and he smiled.

"Will you tell me?" I asked.

"I think it's time to rearrange this space." His eyes moved back to the entertainment center on the other side of the room.

That was so out of left field, so random that I laughed, thinking it was a joke.

"What? Now?" I turned to look at the clock. "It's three in the morning."

He moved me off of him. "Yes, go get some clothes on and come help me."

He slid off the couch and found his boxers and pants, sliding them on before he began to move the furniture around. I just stared, not really believing he was serious.

"Come on, Bella, get moving."

I went to the room and put on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt and went to help him move the furniture. When I got back to the front room, he had most of the tables and things out of his way and he was behind the entertainment center.

"Great, now help me move this." He seemed a little too excited to be doing this. "You get on that side and push."

I moved to the opposite side of the stand and pushed on the count of three. His side moved about two feet while mine stayed right where it was.

"Come on, Bella, push."

"I did. It's too heavy for me, I can't move it."

"You're not even trying." He sounded irritated.

I used the wall for support this time, using all my strength to push with my shoulder…still nothing, not even an inch.

"Really? It's not even that fucking hard." He was mad now.

He stomped over to my side, grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the way. The force had me stumbling about five feet and when I caught my balance, I saw him push my side like it was nothing.

"You can't even do one simple little thing, can you?" He came to me, grabbed my arm and threw me toward the stand again. "Now that I did that much for you, you can push it the rest of the way."

"James, it's too heavy. I can't move it." I told him again.

The spark of anger in his eyes was hard to mistake as he slowly walked to where I was standing. I started to back away, but I wasn't fast enough as the back of his hand hit my cheek. I staggered a few steps, my hand covering my cheek.

"Why are you so fucking worthless?"

"Why would you…" I tried to ask, but his hard grip on my arm stopped me just before his other hand slapped me again.

"Stop!" I yelled and tried to shield my face but it didn't work as another slap stung my already hurting cheek.

More hits came fast as they punctuated every word he spoke. "You. Are. Useless."

I was on the ground now with James hovering over me. I heard his muffled words, but the ringing in my ear from him hitting me was so loud that I couldn't make out exactly what they were. The hits kept coming, my body couldn't take anymore and I blacked out.

I woke up in bed with my blankets tangled around my legs. The left side of my face was on fire and I could feel the size of my swollen lips as I ran my tongue over them. My hand slowly moved to my cheek and it hurt to even touch a single finger to it. I groaned from the pain just before I heard the rustling coming from behind me. James must have been sitting on the floor because his hands were on my back as he slowly rolled me over.

"God Bella, I've been so worried about you." He smoothed the hair away from my face with the lightest of touches. "I'm so sorry, babe. Please forgive me. Please!" I heard him crying as he begged me to say everything was okay.

My first attempt to open my eyes scared the hell out of me because my left eye wouldn't open and when I tried to talk, my jaw hurt too much to move. I cried, not only from the pain, but also from the fact that he could do such a thing. He tried to wipe my cheeks and I jerked away, not wanting him to touch me.

"Don't," was the only word I could get out, making me cry harder from the pain of it.

He jerked his hands away from my face, grabbing my hands instead. Through my good eye, I was able to see the pain in his face as he repeatedly told me how sorry he was. He looked horrible as tears ran from his red, puffy eyes, his hair was a mess and he hadn't shaved. I wanted to feel sorry for his pain, but my own pain made it hard.

I pulled my hands away from his so I could sit up, then they immediately went to my head as the pounding made me a little dizzy. I felt the bed move and his arm went around my shoulder, trying to pull me to him. I didn't have it in me to fight him off so I allowed him to get closer but when my cheek came in contact with his chest, it was like a slap to the face all over again. I struggled out of his arms and pushed him away from me.

He jumped off the bed and was back to his position on the floor. His shattered look hurt me as I moved past him to walk into the bathroom. Before I closed the door, I turned to look at him and what I saw broke my heart.

James was kneeling on the floor where I left him; his face was buried in the blankets, fists hitting the back of his head as his body shook with his tears. As bad as I felt, I was sure it was nothing compared to the devastated man I was looking at now. I closed the door to block him from my sight.

I did what I needed, purposely keeping myself from looking in the mirror. When I couldn't avoid it any longer, I stood in front of the sink, taking a few deep breaths before I closed my eye and lifted my head. Another deep breath calmed me a little since I was still afraid to look, and I opened my eye slowly.

"Oh God!" I yelled and backed away from the sink until I hit the wall.

I slid to the cold, tile floor, wrapped my arms around my knees and cried harder than before. The sight of my face was stuck in my head; the whole left side of my face was swollen to twice its normal size, the welts his fingers left were everywhere, overlapping in some places, making them look worse, and the color was a sickening mix between a deep purple and black. My stomach turned and within seconds, I was heaving over the toilet.

James was behind me with one hand on my back and the other holding my hair. I didn't even notice him come into the bathroom as every jerk of my body caused the ache in my head and face to become almost unbearable. When it seemed I was finished, he flushed the toilet and gently eased me into his lap. He had the good side of my face pressed to his chest; the only sounds in the room came from our crying as we held onto each other. His hand was stroking my hair and he began apologizing again.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "You have no idea how much I hate myself right now. If I could take it back I would…in a heartbeat."

"Why?" I had to know. "Why would you…"

"I don't know, babe. I could make up an excuse, but the truth is, I just don't know what came over me." He kissed the top of my head, my body stiffened at the touch. "Nothing I ever say will ever take away what I did, but I'm begging you, Bella, please forgive me."

"It hurts." I was still crying.

"I know, Bella." He was still crying too. "I'm sorry. I know that's not enough, but I am so, so sorry."

"My head hurts." I pushed away from him to get up. "I want to lie down."

I left him sitting on the floor and walked back to the bed. Grabbing a tissue from my nightstand, I wiped my face the best I could before I wrapped my blankets around me and closed my eye. The tension in my head and shoulders eased a bit as soon as I closed my eye, but it still hurt so much. I was just starting to relax when his side of the bed shifted and he moved in next to me. We were facing each other and I could feel every breath as it hit my face, but I refused to look at him.

"Bella," he spoke softly, "I know you probably hate me now and want to leave me, but I will do anything…anything for you to stay." His lips touched my forehead and I felt his tears as they fell just below his lips. "I love you, Bella. You mean everything to me and it would kill me to lose you. Please don't let this one mistake…"

"Damn it," My voice was weak when I cut off his sentence, remembering my plans for today. "I was supposed to meet the girls for lunch today."

"I know. Emily already called." He grabbed my hand again. "I told her you were sick and you couldn't make it. I'm sorry, Bella, but I didn't know when you were going to wake up or how you would feel when you did. I knew you were going to be hurting, I knew you needed to rest, I didn't want you to worry about them and…"

His sentences were all running together and I couldn't take anymore.

"James," I interrupted him, "please just stop. Thank you for talking to Emily, but please, I'm begging you to just let me sleep."

"Okay babe. I'll be here when you wake up." He placed another kiss to my forehead. "I love you…so much."

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I lifted my eyes to meet his, but he was leaning on the table with his head resting on his arm. The rise and fall of his shoulders looked like he was breathing heavy and I was going to assume he was trying to calm the anger he always had when I told him some of the awful things James did.

"Hey," I said as I shook the hand I was holding. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head where it was, not even bothering to look at me. I let go of his hand and went to his side of the table. He was taking this a lot harder than I expected him to and I couldn't stop myself from trying to comfort him. I laid my hands on his back and he jumped slightly, but didn't move.

He was shaking and it hurt me to see him like this. My hands moved to his shoulders and I surprised myself by leaning forward to hug him. He shuddered and I heard him sniff; he was crying. I let him go and moved to the side of his chair, crouching down next to him and placing one hand on the back of his head and the other on his leg.

"God, please don't cry," I said. "I need you to be the strong one here. I need you to be the one to keep me going."

"I'm not crying." He tried to hide it, but I knew.

He shifted a little, probably wiping his eyes on his sleeve, and then lifted his head. He still wouldn't look at me and it made me smile a little because I knew why he was hiding from me. I was touched that he would be reduced to tears over what happened. In one short minute, I began to see him in a whole new light.

He stepped out of his chair, moving away from me, still with his back turned. I stood up and followed him to the window. How ironic, I was usually the one to walk away and stare out this window when the pain of the memories became too much, now he was doing the same thing.

"Please tell me what's bothering you." I needed to know.

"Bella, seeing pictures is one thing, but sitting here, listening to you tell me what happened, telling me how you felt and how much it hurt," he sighed, "it's all too much."

I put my hand on his shoulder and was about to answer, but he wasn't done.

"I just can't believe you stayed after that. You felt sorry for him and you forgave him for hurting you. You even let him lie to your friends for you."

He covered my hand with his. He lowered his head and I placed my other hand on his back, hoping that I could make him feel better somehow.

"I didn't know he did that until it was done. I didn't even know what time it was or how long I had been asleep. I hurt and at the time, I didn't care about anything else." I tried to explain why I let him lie to Emily.

"Bella, if you would have told them, they would have moved heaven and earth to get you out of there that day. They had their suspicions, even then. They wanted nothing more than to keep you safe. It's what they still want, but you made them think you didn't trust them enough with the truth."

"I was too embarrassed to tell them the truth," I whispered. "I didn't want them to know what I had gotten myself into."

"Emily knew. She said she always knew, well before you or Leah said anything."

"If she knew, why wouldn't she come to me? She wouldn't have let me go through that if she knew." His theories were a little far-fetched for me to believe.

"She loves you, Bella, and she thinks that if she would have stepped in at the beginning, you would have only stuck up for James…even Leah agrees with her."

"You may think that, but she would never have…"

I stopped when what he said really clicked. Emily said…Leah agrees. He'd seen them and talked to them and now I fucking knew where he was when he left. I pulled my hand out from under his and moved my hand up his back, into his hair. He flinched when my fist clenched in his hair.

"You stupid fucking son of a bitch!" I yelled as I slammed his head into the cement wall.

He was taller than me so I didn't have the leverage to keep him there, but it stunned him enough that I was able to sweep his legs out from under him. He crashed to the ground and I didn't hesitate to kick him.

"You had no fucking right!" I kicked him again, hitting his arm. "How dare you go looking for them?" I kicked again, he grabbed my foot.

I lost my balance and landed on the ground right next to him. I kicked at him so he would let go of my foot and moved fast until I was above him, punching every inch of him that he left open for me.

"They were safe!" A punch to the stomach. "I made sure they were safe!" A punch to the ribs. "You fucked that up!" My fist connected with his cheek.

"Stop, Bella. Please stop." He tried to catch my hands, but I pulled back too fast.

"Why couldn't you just leave them alone?" I shouted. My arms were like clubs now, beating his stomach and chest. "They have nothing to do with this!"

"For you, Bella." His words were strained.

He reached out again and was able to grab one of my hands. I used my free arm to swing again, hitting him just above his eye. I brought my hand back and was ready to swing again when I saw the drop of blood sliding down the side of his face, into his hair. The sight of it stopped me for just a second, but it was just long enough to give him the upper hand. He was quicker than I expected, knocking me onto my back and pinning my wrists to my sides before I registered his movement.

"Will you just listen!" he growled, sounding out of breath.

"Fuck you!"

Because he wasn't smart enough to cover my lower body, I surprised him by lifting my legs and twisting my body enough to knock him away from me. I was up fast, going after him again. I wasn't ready for how fast he was as he caught my shoulders and turned me into the wall.

"Calm the fuck down and listen!" he yelled at me.

"Listen to what…how you fucked shit up?"

He hadn't pinned my hands and I continued to fight against him. I landed a good hit to the side of his head, but it didn't seem to faze him.

"I did it for you, Bella."

He tried to grab my wrists, but I was fighting too much for him to get a good hold on me. He blocked every swing I threw at him.

"For me? You put my friends in danger for me?" I was out of breath and fighting the pain in my ribs.

"Stop and listen!"

He finally caught one wrist.

"They were safe and you fucked that up!"

I swung with a good shot to his stomach, making him grunt, but he didn't let go. As I brought my hand back, he caught my other wrist and pinned both arms above my head using only one hand. His free hand was on my chin, holding my face so I couldn't turn away.

"Get the fuck off me!" I fought against him but his grip was too tight and I couldn't get away.

"Are you done!"

"Don't you see what you did? If you can find them, then anyone can." I fought more but it was useless. "How can I keep them safe if I'm locked up in here?"

"Just shut up for one minute!"

"Like I'm going to listen to anything you…"

"You need them, Bella! I had to find them. I didn't have a choice!" He was still shouting.

I struggled harder to get away; he just pushed my hands harder into the wall and his grip on my chin tightened slightly. He leaned in close and all I could think about was how hard I had to bite him to make him let me go.

"You just don't get it! I need them to be safe!"

"James is fucking dead!" He slammed his hand on the wall next to me, making me jump. "He's the one you were hiding them from and he's fucking dead, Bella! You fucking killed him!"

He let me go with a jerk and turned his back on me. His reaction scared me and I was frozen in place against the wall. His hands were clenched into fists and he looked like he wanted to punch something.

"What the fuck aren't you telling me? Who else is there to be afraid of?" He whipped around to face me again and his murderous look had me stunned.

No words came out as I opened my mouth to speak. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I watched him change into someone 'James-like' right before my eyes. He rushed towards me and I instinctually ducked down, trying to hide as much of myself from him as possible.

"No, Bella, no." He sounded slightly panicked and lightly placed his hand on my back.

"Don't touch me," I choked out as I pulled away from his touch.

"God Bella, I'm sorry."

I felt his fingertips touch my leg and I scrambled away from him, but managed to back myself into the corner, curling myself in a ball. He was on his knees in front of me, apologizing repeatedly.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to lose my temper. I only wanted to help you. All I've ever wanted to do is help you. Please, Bella." His hands were on my head. "Please look at me," he begged.

I just shook my head, not trusting my voice to speak. I felt him rest his head on the back of mine, and there was no more yelling as his words came out so low that I had to struggle to hear.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to hurt you. I went to find them so I could bring them here to help you. You need their strength and their love to help you get through this." He took a shuddering breath. "I'm trying so hard, but I'm not enough for you, Bella. You need them a hell of a lot more than you need me."

"No." I lifted my head, meeting his tear-filled eyes. "I do need you. Without you, I wouldn't have the strength to talk about this…to get through this. I'm using your strength to keep going. You've made it your mission to save me, remember."

His hands slipped to my cheeks and I covered them with mine. Seconds of silence passed as my eyes held his and I saw the same emotion that I'd caught glimpses of in the past month. The emotion that Paul put a name to…love.

"After all this time, please don't quit on me now."

"I'll never leave you."

His lips were on mine in a movement so quick that I was stunned into stillness. Without much hesitation, my wide eyes closed and my lips responded to his as I gave in to his kiss. His lips were soft, the kiss was slow and sweet and my body moved involuntarily to get closer to him. But the second I did, he released me and backed away.

"Oh God, Bella, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." The rejection in his voice stung and the speed he used to back away made it worse.

I was left sitting on the floor alone as I watched him hurry to the table and start angrily throwing things into his briefcase, mumbling words like 'stupid' and 'shouldn't have' under his breath. My confusion over what just happened had me frozen, unable to move or speak. I didn't imagine that look of love in his eyes or the kiss that confirmed his feelings, so I didn't understand why he was rushing to leave.

The noise of him slamming the briefcase shut brought me back to my senses and I looked to see him walking toward the metal door. My mouth opened and closed a few times as he got closer to it. I didn't want him to go.

"Stop." My dry throat pushed out the word too quiet for him to hear.

His arm rising to knock on the door was like slow motion and I had to force the word out.

"Stop," I said as loud as I could.

He froze and dropped his arm, but he wouldn't turn to face me. My brain wasn't working, not giving me the right words to make him stay. Right or wrong, I said the first words that came to mind.

"Don't leave me, Carlisle. I need you."

*screams from behind rock* Please don't hate me. I know you all wanted him to be Edward, but this is really the way it has to be. I needed my counselor to be the compassionate man, which Carlisle is, but he also needed to be able to get into the arguments with Bella, pushing her to the brink and then be able to pull her back again. Carlisle is the only one I can see being able to do this for her. *peeks out, hoping it's safe* I hope you all stick with me as Bella starts to get into the heart of her story. She's definitely going to need all of her strength and Carlisle's to get through the rest.

As always, I want to take the time to give a few quick recs of some great stories I'm reading.

The first story is a set of drabbles that follows Charlie, Sarah & Billy and Sue & Harry as they deal with their kids growing up. This story will definitely draw you in. Check it out: Pieces of the Memories written by audreyii_fic. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6910700/1/Pieces_of_the_Memories

The second story has one of the most original plots I've read in a really long time The action starts in the first chapter and just gets better the more you read. Run to this one. You won't be sorry: Order of the Seers written by LittleWing2

Summary: Captured for their gift, enslaved for their power, a group of individuals, known as Seers, struggle to rebuild the lives that were stolen from them and take down the institution that wants them back, at any cost. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6825800/1/Order_of_the_Seers

And finally, I can't forget my boys. Edward and Jasper just own me. So it makes me wonder what took me so long to get to this story. Now that I've started, I can't stop. If you love these two as much as I do, you absolutely cannot skip this story: Marked written by Whitlock-Masen

Summary: Edward Masen is a self-sufficient, independently wealthy man with a PhD in Social Anthropology. When he meets a man named Jasper, he is shaken by the disappointment he feels when Jasper is apparently an :/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5465716/1/Marked