He hadn't had any kind of plan when he left the Agency except to get in the Porsche and drive and yet, somehow, it didn't even surprise him when Amanda sat down beside him on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial and sat quietly, arms wrapped around her knees staring out over the Tidal Basin. He didn't acknowledge her but he didn't move away either – none of this was her fault and it was kind of comforting to have her there.

When he heard her take a deeper than normal breath, he girded himself for what he was sure was going to be a lecture on his behavior or a plea to come back to work. Instead, she stretched out her feet in front of her and leaned forward to contemplate them silently. He was almost at the point of becoming unnerved by how quiet she was when she pulled her feet back up and then leaned sideways to bump him lightly. "Yeah, that's not going to work at all."

Lee sighed and gave in. "What's not?"

"Loaning you my socks," she answered seriously. "You're so much taller than me, I just can't see how they'd fit."

The bark of laughter escaped him before he could hold it back and he felt her bump into him again but this time she stayed leaning into him, cheek on his shoulder.

"Were you friends for a long time?" she asked after a while.

"Not long enough," he joked bitterly.

"No," she agreed. "I'm sure it wasn't." She played with a loose thread on the knee of her jeans for a moment before asking, "What was his name?"

Lee turned to her in surprise, forcing her to lift her head up again. "Eric. You didn't know that?"

She could tell from the note of disbelief in his voice that he thought that was unlikely so turned to look at him steadily and gave a small shrug, "I think Mr. Melrose might have said it once but you never talk about him and I didn't like to ask."

"And nobody in the most gossip-infested spy bureau in Washington told you?"

"I knew you had a partner who died," she answered, "And I guess everyone thought I must already know all about it because we spend so much time together."

Lee was grateful that, unlike most people, Amanda managed to not make that sound like an accusation.

"He was a good friend," he said finally. "I should talk about him – he deserves to have people talk about him and remember him – but it's hard. It was my fault he was killed."

"I'm sure that's not true," said Amanda.

"I was there, Pollyanna and you weren't!" he found himself snapping at her. "We had a suspect pinned down, I was giving him covering fire… he looked back and saw a second guy we didn't know about coming up behind me. He stopped to take that guy out, right out in the open – that was all the opening they needed…" He didn't finish the sentence, just let it drift off as he gripped his knees so tightly she could see his knuckles whitening.

"Lee, that still doesn't sound to me like it was your fault. It was a dangerous situation, just like you're in all the time, the kind of thing you train for – and Eric must have trained for it too, right?" Despite the Pollyanna crack, Amanda didn't sound annoyed, just quietly certain. "If it had been the other way around, would you have done it differently? Wouldn't you have stopped to save your friend without thinking about it?

"Yes, but…."

"And if you'd been the one to die that day…" Amanda's voice faltered slightly that she'd even voiced that thought out loud. "Would you have wanted him to blame himself for it?"

"Of course not!" said Lee shortly. "But that would have been different!"

"Different how?" asked Amanda. "One agent died saving another agent – that part seems pretty simple to me. It's horrible, but you all seem to accept that as part of the job. So explain to me why it's different when the fact is, one good man died to save another good man."

"Because he was a good man who had people who cared!" Lee retorted. "He had family – parents, sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins – people who thought he mattered."

"And you think you don't matter?" asked Amanda incredulously.

"Not the same way," Lee answered, the bitterness audible in his tone. "If I'd died that day, there would have been a little ceremony and a star on the memorial wall of the Agency and after a few days, a week maybe, people would have forgotten all about me."

"That's not true and you know it," said Amanda, sounding angry for the first time.

"Do I?" said Lee hopelessly. "Who'd miss me? The girls in the steno pool? The socialites with boring husbands? The doctors and nurses down at the med center who roll their eyes when they see me come in because I'm such a pain in the ass?"

"I'd miss you."

Lee turned to look at her, an exasperated look on his face. "If I'd died that day instead of Eric, you wouldn't even have met me."

"No, but if you had, and I hadn't met you, I'd probably be dead," she replied.

"Oh come on…"

"And so would a lot of other people," she went on, not letting him interrupt. "No, Lee, I mean it. Now, look," she lifted a hand and started to enumerate her reasons, "If I hadn't known all you spies the day I met Alexi, I might never have known I had to get him away from that guy and he and his parents might still be locked up having to work for those guys. And because, thanks to you, I worked at the Agency, I recognized Penny that day and we got to be friends so she had people around her when Bo tried to kill her. Those people would all be worse off because you weren't here."

"Amanda, that's all very nice of you to say but-"…

"What if Glaser had picked another agent to test his theories on? Someone who wasn't as loyal as you are to Mr. Melrose? Someone who didn't fight it so hard he almost fried his own brain before he could be rewired into an assassin? Mr. Melrose would be dead too. And then Jeanie and the girls and his brand new granddaughter – they'd all be missing someone who mattered to them too! So don't you try and tell me you don't matter!"

Her voice had been rising the whole time she'd been speaking, to the point now where a few people had turned their heads to see who was arguing at such a solemn place. In an effort to calm her down, Lee dropped his voice to an urgent whisper.

"Okay, okay… But all those things could have happened if you'd met Eric instead."

Amanda jumped up so that he had to look up now and shook her head firmly. "No, they wouldn't have. Those things happened because you knocked me down on a train platform and had an allergic reaction that kept you in the hospital long enough for us to meet again and because of all that, somehow we ended up friends. And with all those people that you say loved Eric, he wouldn't have needed another friend the way that you did or that I did. I mean, just think – if it hadn't happened the way it did, I might still be alive but I'd probably be married to Dean!"

He couldn't help laughing at the look of dismay on her face as that thought occurred to her. "Okay, so maybe it wasn't my fault exactly but…"

"Lee!" Amanda threw her hands up in exasperation. "You're worse than my boys for getting a dumb idea and sticking with it!" She flopped back down beside him and sighed. "Okay, let me try this a different way… Have you ever been inside there?" She gestured to the rotunda behind them.

"Of course."

"So you know the Declaration of Independence is carved into the wall, right? We hold these truths to be self-evident?"

Lee couldn't figure out where she was going with it but nodded anyway.

"That all men are created equal." She turned to look at him, looking serious when she saw his confusion. "All men are created equal," she repeated. "Now from everything you've said, Eric was a good man, a well-liked man, a man who mattered. But you're a good man too – and you matter to the people who care about you and who you care about, no matter how much you hide behind that I-don't-care attitude of yours. And Eric may have had family who cared about him, but you must have people who care about you too because you are a good, honorable, patriotic man and that doesn't just happen. But you are still just a man, you know, not a superhero who has to take all the burdens of the world on his shoulders because you feel responsible. For better or worse, the great Scarecrow is just equal, you know what I mean? Not any more or less than anyone, okay?" She'd run out of breath finally and reached out to grab his knee while she studied his face until he gave in and nodded agreement. She let herself smile a little bit. "Good," she said.

Lee gave off a small chuckle and shook his head with amusement at her pleasure at having gotten through to him. He could feel his spirits lift a little; it was oddly reassuring that Amanda could see past his bluster – almost as reassuring as it was annoying. He tensed though as he recognized the look come over her face that said something had just occurred to her, and from the looks of it, not something good.

"Lee? When you came to rescue me and you said Plan A was a cyanide capsule? Were you just kidding?"

"Well of course, I was kidding," he laughed. "I knew you wouldn't have anything like that on you."

"No, I mean… do you have something like that? I mean, if they had really gotten you and not me and Francine, if it had just been you and you thought they weren't going to make the trade… what would you have done?"

"Well, no I don't really have a capsule – that's a little James Bond even for us – but we do have…" he paused, looking uncomfortable as if he wasn't sure how to finish.

"You have?" Amanda pushed him.

"We learn ways to make sure we don't reveal information," he hedged.

"To escape, you mean?" she asked.

"Well, if we can but I meant something more, um, permanent. Not cyanide, but you know… ways"

Amanda studied him and he could see the moment where she pieced it together when her eyes went wide with shock. "No!"

"Yes, Amanda," he said, sounding a bit like a parent lecturing a child. "If it's us or them, an agent has to be willing for it to be us to make sure they don't succeed."

She sat staring at him for a few more moments of silence before saying seriously, "Mr. Melrose is right – you need a partner."

"I what? Oh for crying out loud, don't you start! I do not need a partner!" Lee fired back.

"Well you need someone who will keep you from doing anything that foolish." she answered.

"And how do you figure that a partner would help?" he asked, genuinely curious to see where the Amanda logic was going to lead them this time.

"Because you might be dumb enough to sacrifice yourself, but you wouldn't go too far if someone else was depending on you." Amanda was nodding now as if she could see it all clearly in front of her. She could see the cynical expression on his face and rushed on. "You think you don't matter to anybody, but you'd matter to them! And you'd try and escape because you wouldn't want them to think it was their fault, wouldn't you?"

Lee glared at her for a moment then dropped his head and shook it from side to side, trying to hide his amusement at how skillfully she'd just punctured everything he'd said in the last fifteen minutes. "Oh Amanda…" he sighed. He looked up finally to find her watching him with a hopeful expression.

"So will you? Get a partner, I mean?"

"Are you applying for the position?" he asked, teasing her.

Amanda looked stunned. "Me?" she squeaked. "Oh no, I couldn't be your partner! You need somebody who knows how to shoot and things like that and … you know… someone smart and brave and who can get you out of trouble…"

"So, someone exactly like you," he grinned at her. "But who can hit?"

Amanda went still, then gave out one of her deep chuckles at the backhanded compliment. "Yeah."

"Tell you what," Lee said, standing up and holding out a hand to help her to her feet. "I will consider agreeing to a partner and in the meantime, if you can stay out of trouble, you can keep helping me out with stuff and I'll try not to do anything that would mean you having to go to my funeral. Deal?"

Amanda's fingers, which had reached out to grasp his, suddenly squeezed tight. "That's not funny, Lee," she said quietly.

He could tell that that last jab of dark humour had gone over the line. "You're right, I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Of course," she said, squeezing his fingers again before letting go. "But you'll really think about a partner?" she asked, in a voice that was much too light, like she was trying to hide that she was still upset by his last comment.

"Well, I would but it hardly matters now," Lee shrugged as they began to walk down the steps toward their cars. "Since I handed in my resignation before I left."

"Oh well, about that" said Amanda, flushing guiltily. "You have time to change your mind about that." She turned to meet Lee's suspicious look. "Mr. Melrose put it at the very bottom of his Inbox and mentioned it might be days before he got through everything in there to see what it said."

"Oh he did, did he?" Lee glared at her with fresh eyes. "Did he send you to find me too? Try and charm me back because he thought I wouldn't yell at you?"

"Not directly, no," admitted Amanda. "He just kind of… looked at me when he was putting the letter at the bottom of the pile. I would have come anyway though!" she rushed to add. "I was worried about you."

Lee grunted noncommittally. It was odd to think there was someone who worried about him, beyond his value as an agent or whether his behaviour would reflect badly on somebody's reputation with the Air Force brass… He shook himself and glanced back at the subdued Amanda who was still walking alongside him silently.

"How did you find me anyway?" he asked suddenly. "I didn't even know where I was headed when I left the Agency and I had a pretty good head start."

"Ah. Well." Amanda was flushing and biting her lip in that way he already knew was her guilt tell. "I had some help." She glanced up at him then went on in a rush. "I got in my car and I was trying to decide if you'd probably just head home or if you'd go to Monk's or Ned's and then…" She pointed her finger off to her right and made a little swirling motion. "The radio came on and um…"

Lee stopped dead and swivelled to look at her. "Blue Leader was on your radio? Blue Leader told you where I was?"

"Well, yeah, sort of" she sighed. "I mean it still creeps me out that he can do that… She caught herself from adding 'even though we've met him' and went on quickly. "And he didn't say how he knew where you were, he just said this was probably a good place to start. Do you think he has tracking devices on all our cars?" she asked, suddenly wide-eyed.

"Are you still worried he's gonna track your visits to the drive-thru?" teased Lee. He turned and looked back at the memorial. "No, I think it was probably just a good guess on his part. Eric and I used to come here after a successful case. You know, sneak a little hip flask along, toast our contribution to democracy and the pursuit of happiness, that kind of thing…"

"Sounds nice," ventured Amanda.

"It was," agreed Lee. He started to walk again, slowing to let her fall into step beside him. He watched her out of the corner of his eye. It was crazy but once again, here they were with Amanda having gone through an ordeal that was his fault, and still somehow managing to be the one cheering him up when it was all over. He didn't know how she did it but she always made things simpler… lighter… better… He took a breath and said, "But maybe it's time for a new tradition."

He could see her mouth quirk up, mischievously. "Well, I'm not much for hip flasks but I could buy you a cup of coffee and a slice of pie."

"Well, funnily enough, someone left a cake on my kitchen counter. It's a bit stale but…"

"Oh my gosh! I completely forgot that!"

"And a t-shirt."

Amanda's eyes closed and she made a small embarrassed noise.

"And a bra," Lee added, trying to keep a straight face.

Her eyes shot open then and she turned on him, with outrage. "Lee! You know that is not mine!"

He turned toward, eyes twinkling. "The shirt? Or the bra? Because it's certainly not mine."

"Yes it is! I mean, no, of course not yours! I mean, the shirt is mine but the… other thing must be from one of your-" Amanda was scarlet now, almost speechless until she saw how hard Lee was trying not to laugh. Her mouth snapped shut and she stopped dead as she saw her chance for revenge. He was a few steps ahead of her before he noticed and turned to find her glaring at him, hands on her hips. "Well, what if it is mine? Would that be so hard to believe?"

Lee looked disconcerted for a minute before his slow grin spread across his face. He could, he thought, point out that the bra currently sitting in his laundry pile was a 38DD and Amanda, while perfectly proportioned, was definitely not going to fill that out, but when she was looking at him like she was right now, all bristles and indignation, he knew he couldn't.

"Of course it wouldn't," he said smoothly and enjoyed the look of surprise cross her face. "You're a Hot Mama after all. I just wanted to see if you'd admit it."

Amanda managed to keep glaring for at least another ten seconds before slumping into laughter. "Of course I'm not going to admit it – you know perfectly well it's not mine."

"So… cake and coffee chez Stetson? You can finish Jamie's cake while I guard the door from armed invaders this time."

"Promises, promises," she teased back, giving him a soft hip check as they started to walk toward their cars. "But I'll bake you something else since I can do Jamie's cake at home now."

"You got a repairman already? You must know a guy."

"Turns out, I do," Amanda chuckled. "I didn't get a chance to tell you that yet. I came down this morning and what do you think I found? Leatherneck standing in my kitchen taking the oven apart and flirting with my mother!"

"I'll bet she enjoyed that," Lee laughed along with her as she nodded. "How did he explain who he was?"

"He told the truth pretty much as far as I can tell. That he works for IFF, he's in charge of production vehicles but that he learned how to fix darn near everything growing up on a farm in Oklahoma."

"Well, he is a wizard with all things mechanical. And I'm sure you'll be very happy with him as your new step-father."

"Oh no, my mother has her eye on him as a boyfriend for me," Amanda replied, turning bright eyes on him.

"Really?"

"Oh yes – how did she put it?" She began to expertly mimic her mother. 'You know, Amanda, money can be spent and looks can fade, but you'll never be unhappy with a man who's good with his hands!'"

Lee took the opportunity to seize one of Amanda's hands in his and lifted it to kiss it with a wink. "Your mother is very smart – just like her daughter!"