A year since I started writing and publishing this story.
Sincerely, I don't know how should I apologize for the delay in updates? If excuses would do I would give a dozen of them but I'll give you chapters instead, as much as I can, and a promise that I won't drop this story as long as there is someone willing to read it.
To Emmanuel Park,WolfYuu19, shinydragonmist, lyanna, kurolovi, S -Lioness, just-passing-by, FleurSuoh, Rano, sarah, NightlyRowenTree, Ms. S, Catarina Persephone and Feint Illusion :Thank you so much for your kind words, taking some time to write few words for a complete stranger may seem like a small thing for a reader but it makes a huge difference for the writer, I have seen many writers drop great fanfictions just because of the lack of motivation.
The same goes for all those who favoured, followed and READ this story: Thank you all for your continuous support.
Along with our passion for writing, the readers are our motivation. A story can't live without these two.
Chapter 13 my dears.
Enjoy.
The life of a human being is but a thread, dyed with the colours of the past, the present and the future that embrace each other to fill that being, hollow at birth, and shape his mind, heart and soul.
That thread -be it long or short, a monochrome or a rainbow- intertwines with many others and knots with some of them; some knots are meant to last forever and some -despite all efforts- are dissolved into nothingness...
"All goes according to fate."
Can a human being make his fate?
...
«Sebastian! Kill them all! ALL! »
Ciel shouted at the top of his lungs as he violently tore himself out of his bed; his cheeks were radiating heat like the embers in the hearth and his body was bathed in cold sweat. His heart pounded wildly against his chest heaving up and down as his fingers curled around the light blanket that was already half the way to the floor at the kicking and thrashing of the young man in his disturbed sleep.
Ciel blinked his eyes over and over again as they left no nook or corner of his dimly lit large bedroom unexplored, but his vision was blurred just like his mind that still clung to the remnant of his nightmare... The feel of the cold altar beneath him, the glitter of the metallic dagger reflecting the ugly masked faces, the deep shade of bloody crimson melting into the lights of the candles, were all still haunting him, eating up at his tired mind and soul like a worm in a rotten apple.
He was rotten, yes, but he wasn't weak, for that, he despised these moments that disconnected him from reality.
The soft thud of the door closing drew the young man's attention. «Another nightmare my lord? » The very instant Sebastian's deep voice echoed in the room, the present eclipsed the past and Ciel could finally recognize his surroundings.
"How can a darkness cast away another one?"
Ciel let out a wavering sigh, releasing the blanket from the tight grip that turned his knuckles white as he finally dropped back into his bed's embrace. «... It's nothing. »
The silent butler took steady steps towards the large bed occupying the northern center of the room while carefully removing one of his white gloves. Ciel's tired eyes were reflecting the bright red blooming in the fireplace and they didn't flinch when a cold hand slipped to cover his forehead.
«It seems your body temperature is getting high again. »
«It will drop down eventually, » Ciel said, turning his head to the side and Sebastian's hand slid and gave a small "Puff" at the contact with the pillow.
A mild scowl crossed Sebastian's face.
«I wish you would take your sickness matter more seriously. »
«And who do you think got me in this state in the first place?! »
Sebastian flinched as an annoyed grimace rapidly stretched his tight lips.
"The hateful, hateful, Lionton servant!"
«I deeply apologise my lord... My reckless actions caused me to disgrace my position as the Phantomhive's butler, » Sebastian said, his long bangs brushing against his cheeks as he held his head down. «I shall atone for it and make sure to get you back to perfect health in no time. »
Ciel kept silent. At the time, he didn't feel like bothering with the long scolding he prepared for his butler yesterday, before the whole murder thing interrupted him.
The murder... even in a place that was supposed to hold a happy event, death was there.
Death is always there wherever they are.
Was it he or the Lionton marchioness that played the magnet role again?
Or was it both?
"A happy event?" Ciel took notice of his odd choice of words and instantly mocked it, was his sickness getting to his mind too? Despite realizing it, he couldn't help the cascade of thoughts that flooded his mind triggered by these words.
Was Lionton happy about her betrothal to Earl Grey?
They kissed. Isn't the answer obvious?
Was his betrothal to Elizabeth a happy one too?
Elizabeth surely seems happy about it.
What about himself?
Aren't he and the Lionton marchioness supposed to be alike? Drowning in the same darkness, no stepping back and nothing to look for ahead... how can she be happy while he can't even smile?
Happiness...?
Whatever.
Sebastian observed all the perplexed expressions and little grimaces that successively crossed his master's face; as the latter kept staring absent-mindedly at the silver ring with the sapphire stone laid on the nightstand facing him. The ring seemed to look back at the oblivious young Earl with dull bitterness.
Needing to proceed with what he came here for, Sebastian cleared his throat, snatching the young man from his thoughts and the latter detached his eyes from the blue ornament to meet two keen crimson orbs. «For your lunch today young master, I prepared a milk risotto with three varieties of mushrooms, a pork and wine pot-au-feu and the dessert shall be a warmed up apple compote over yoghurt. »
«I'm starting to believe this meal is becoming your only option whenever I get sick. »
«A meal that brings back memories, isn't it? » Sebastian said with a grin. «If it can speed up your recovery then I shall cook it for you every time my lord, » He added, walking to the door and bringing the lunch cart inside. «And it was quite to your liking as I remember. »
Ciel huffed and retorted in a mocking tone. «You surely remember a lot of trivial things. »
«Things related to my master? » Sebastian stopped at the feet of the young man, borrowing the latter's vision as he re-adjusted the blanket covering him. «I forget none. »
Ciel snorted.
«Speaking of forgetfulness young master, » Sebastian said while puffing up the pillows and helping his master steady himself into a sitting position. « It seems yesterday's events made you forget about the report I am to give you about our latest mission. »
«You found out something? » Ciel's eyes shot up in eagerness.
Sebastian smirked. «Yes, some interesting things. »
«Well speak! »
Sebastian arched his eyebrows; his eyelids half their way down. «I admit, at first, I wasn't thrilled about that one particular order of yours. »
Ciel's eyes rapidly narrowed, glaring at his butler in dissatisfaction. «Going to the grim reapers headquarters? »
«Yes, » Sebastian answered holding his master's gaze. «Visiting the headquarters of the grim reapers and trying to get on the good side of Grell to squeeze out some information about the soldiers as all our investigations led to dead ends didn't seem like a desperate last resort to me as much as I believe my lord enjoyed making me go through it. »
Ciel's eyebrows rose up as a smile of a bad child caught red-handed mildly pulled his lips. «That was just a side bonus. »
Sebastian promptly grinned with closed eyes. «Glad to be of use to you young master, though, I unexpectedly ended up having a fair share of entertainment myself. » He now saw curiosity peeking out from his master's seemingly calm demeanour and he proceeded in amusement. «I found the grim reapers' headquarters in a messy state like I have never seen it before. Everyone there seemed highly alarmed as if they were expecting an enemy, no, an army to invade them. » He emphasized the latter words with a mocking huff. «When I got my way with Grell, I came to know that the soldiers we are looking for aren't the only ones missing...their cinematic records, some death scythes and even some grim reapers disappeared from the headquarters as well. »
«What?! » The young earl's jaw dropped unable to hide his great surprise at what he has just heard; a thick line appeared between his brows as he replayed Sebastian's words in his head over and over again. He straightened himself in his seat as if readjusting his posture would help him fathom the information better and when things clicked in his mind, he shot his head up plunging his eyes in the butler's. «You said cinematic records disappeared? The cinematic records of the very soldiers that went missing in Egypt? » .
Sebastian nodded.
«And some grim reapers and death scythes at that?! »
Sebastian's eyes flashed crimson red as a sly smirk slowly crept to his lips. «Grim reapers and humans disappeared together...my, my... »
Ciel instantly frowned sensing the dark mockery that the demon's voice reeked of, the latter's words resonated in his mind.
"Grim reapers and humans."
"Grim reapers and humans."
"...Together?"
"Grell... and Madam Red?"
The young Earl's eyes shot wide and froze as his breathing halted, the darkness of one particular memory all falling into him at once. The one mission that caused him agony like no other did. It's as if this cursed combination came to hunt him down again. Was this fate's way to get back at him for leaving that mission incomplete?
All these ideas crossed the Earl's mind in a shattered fragment of minute, a split second in which his eyes were overwhelmed by the bloody red of devilish mocking orbs.
"No! I won't let you!"
Ciel's oppressed consciousness revolted when he realized he was intentionally led to that conclusion and the Earl hastily put his eyelids down.
Sebastian heard a small huff escape the young man as his face, tormented by pain a second earlier suddenly got serene, a small smirk gracing it. The demon couldn't help the surprise that took over his own face.
«Don't be ridiculous! » Ciel's eyes snapped open shooting a death glare at the butler. «Such Collaboration will never happen again! »
Ciel's mind was set; it was Sebastian that purposely led him to remember and re-live that memory. He knew well his demon's nature and what he was capable of. Be it for his distorted pleasure, a little revenge for the order that displeased him or his way to add spices while cooking his meal, whatever the reason that made him tamper with his master, a mental game is still a game, Ciel would never lose.
«The soldiers that were sent to preserve peace in Egypt disappeared after arriving there and not here, unlike the grim reapers. Those men didn't even go missing on the same day or the same place. They were chosen here, at random, among ordinary soldiers from the different units of the British army. Aren't all these facts that we made sure of through our own investigations?! There is no connection between the soldiers themselves so how can it be with the grim reapers! »
The butler let out a light chuckle, bringing his fist to cover his mouth as he eyed the young man with satisfied eyes, glimmering with a hint of admiration. «That might be true, but without a doubt, the incidents of the soldiers' disappearance, the cinematic records and the grim reapers are related and didn't happen at random... do you suggest the reapers abducted or killed the soldiers? »
«That's possible... and maybe even the grim reapers didn't leave of their own volition? » Ciel leaned his head back on the pillow. «Who took the cinematic records and why? Why specifically the soldiers' cinematic records? Why death scythes too? Where did the soldiers and the grim reapers go? There are just too many possibilities, too many questions and no answers at all. » Ciel sighed in frustration, rubbing his front, but he didn't get the chance to release the sigh out fully before pain came back to strike him, taking all over his body this time and he instantly curled with a strained expression that alarmed his butler.
«I believe thinking about such matters might be bad for you in your current condition after all, » Sebastian said, handing his master a glass of water and a pill before to straighten the bed sheets and put a bed-tray in front of the young man.
Ciel took the glass, watching the colourless liquid quiver in its container as he put the pill in his mouth before to swallow the two in one go. He couldn't help his features twisting at the bitter taste while Sebastian started placing the lunch dishes on the bed-tray. «We are running out of medication for both your asthma and cold. I was planning to send Finny to the Lionton's apothecary in Southwark but fortunately, we received a letter from the Liontons this morning, saying that the Marchioness will be coming this afternoon to bring your medicines as promised. »
Ciel's mouth set on a semi-grimace. «Why didn't you tell them there is no need for it? I'm in no mood to receive her right now. »
«Perhaps my lord forgot that I tell no lies? »
«You tell no lies but you refrain from telling the truth when it suits you, you damned demon! »
«My, my, what am I but a demon and a butler to the core my lord? »
...
Through a snaky road carpeted with a soggy mess of red and golden leaves, where the naked boughs of the tall beech trees, standing on each side of it, intertwined to trap those passing-by in a melancholic cage of autumn; a coachman tugged on the reins of the horses galloping frantically through the muddy soil from the Lionton manor to the Phantomhive one.
The faces of the two occupants of the carriage, sitting in opposite positions from each other, disclosed everything about their uncomfortable and unpleasant small trip.
The butler rested his elbow on the sill of the window near him, leaning his cheek into his left palm while he eyed the girl that clung to the velvet coating of her seat like a drowning person holding to a raft in a raging sea.
«Why is the road in such a miserable state?! There are bumps every damned few yards! » Elena cried out as another lump made her stomach flip upside down again.
Kyle let out a faint snort as a small wry smile beckoned his lips. "How can you complain about the state of the road between your manor and his when the relationship between you two is in a more pathetic state? Shouldn't you fix that one first?"
«What? » Elena asked when she finally noticed the ambiguous expression on her butler's face.
«Nothing, I shall take care of the road's matter later. »
«Good, » Elena half-muttered turning her face to look outside. The golden sun reigning in all dignity over the clear skies in that unusually summer-imbued autumn day tempted the girl to open the window and invite that out-of-season guest inside her carriage but as soon as she did she regretted it; an uninvited gust of chilly wind mercilessly stung her cheeks.
The black clad butler chuckled at the girl that closed her window in a hurry and started stroking her cheeks with a child-about-to-cry expression.
«Never trust summer's clouds and winter's sun, isn't that what the old people say? »
The girl looked at him with narrow eyes, still rubbing her cheeks. «What old pe- »
The frantic horses neighed loudly as they came to an abrupt halt.
The unpleasant sounds were followed by the rusty voice of the coachman. «SIR! This part of the road is entirely blocked by the fallen trees; shall I take a detour or take you back? »
« It'll take us longer but take a detour, » Elena muttered softly.
«Take a detour, » Kyle yelled out for the coachman in turn.
The horses resumed their heated galloping and the carriage gradually settled into a smoother motion as it got further on the semi-paved new road, adorned on each side by young pines; young and strong enough that they endured yesterday's storm and kept their full clothing on.
The shadows of the evergreen trees cast a succession of light and darkness on the two overlapping silhouettes inside the carriage.
«... I'm fine now, you can let go of me. » Elena's voice came out low but unwavering. Resting in the arms of her butler that caught her after she came flying towards him at the sudden halt of the carriage didn't feel uncomfortable, he did his job well cushioning her fall, but keeping her in that position any longer would be out of place.
He didn't move.
Although she initially felt an instinctive urge to free herself -nurtured by Kyle's defiant behaviour, she ended up motionless, attentive to all her surroundings that seemed to blend into the familiar sound of the horses-shoes and the carriage's wheels roughly trampling the road's gravel. She so wished all these noises would disappear, along with her own breathing sound, to allow all her senses to focus solely on the man on whose shoulder her head was resting. She didn't force herself away because something about the way his fingers curled into the fabric of her cape, not aggressively but tight enough to reassure him she was staying close, gave her the feeling that this wasn't one of his usual mood swings or capricious frivolous acts.
"Why?"
As if he, as a being, wasn't puzzling enough to her.
He raised her, he was there all the time around her, for over a decade in which she observed him with curious eyes but aside from the butler side to him, she could hardly brag about knowing him, no, she barely understood him, and he never ceased to surprise her.
Was it because of her lack of communication skills and inexperience in inter-personal relationships that she found it hard to get to him? Thinking about it, she practically grew up isolated from other people and never had a consistent 'human relationship' with anyone except for him but... he isn't human! Was that the real reason for him being this enigmatic?
Sebastian didn't seem as "complex and unpredictable" as her butler, the Phantomhive's butler seemed to take steady confident steps towards his and his master's goals... unlike her butler.
Aren't all demons alike?
She knew no third example to judge and no one who could answer her question.
She was sure of one thing though, despite his cheerful and friendly demeanour compared to the other demon, Kyle intentionally kept 'the real him' hidden from her, wrapped in thick layers of laughs, quirks and fooling around. Plus, the one condition he set upon offering her their contract, to never ask him about his past, added all the more mist to his mystery.
And now such acts like clinging to her out of the blue?!
In her eyes, right that moment, he seemed like any ordinary person, with all the human weaknesses and needs for care and affection.
"... Does he feel lonely?"
At that, Elena felt an overwhelming desire to hug him spring into her chest faster than a rain fall penetrating a dry soil, her mind told her it was wrong but her heart couldn't resist it, it became all the more harder to hold back when she felt him burrow his face in the crook of her neck.
That was just for a fleeting second.
"What are you doing?!"
Her mind snapped.
"Did you forget when this demon tried to kill you?! You are the one displaying weakness here!"
As the feelings awakened inside of her by these thoughts overwhelmed all others, her arms violently tore her away from the butler and as the distance between them grew further, they both stared into each other's eyes, his eyes wide in shock at the fear reflected in hers.
A tense silence draped them for a second impregnated with all the world's awkwardness before the butler snapped «Your corset! » out of the blue, startling the girl that just settled into her seat, he repeated pointing out at her chest. «Your corset loosened and the proof of your womanhood disappeared! »
She blinked her eyes in surprise few times before to snap. «YOU JERK! »
The coachman glanced over his shoulder at the carriage trudging behind him, it suddenly became lively with the sounds of yelling and shouting filling it and it swayed from side to side threatening to overturn at the whole commotion the two passengers inside were making. The old man mulled over the sum he should charge these nobles with, if anything were to happen to his precious vehicle, adding few pounds to the real price wouldn't hurt since they are rich, would it? He turned to tag on the reins of the galloping horses, praying for some damage to actually occur.
...
"Your corset loosened."
Was the best excuse the redhead could come up with to cover up his failure at holding back his emotions, these emotions that she was surely to find repulsive if she came to know the whole truth.
And that look of fear in her eyes...nice job, per usual.
But why is fate so inclined on being cruel to him?! Throwing her in his arms and asking him to hold back! Isn't that inhuman!
"Inhuman." He huffed through his nose, a bitter smile tracing his lips as he pulled the strings of her corset tighter, he then fastened them with a secure double knot. «All done missy, »
When she turned to face him, there was a small smile that spoke of childish satisfaction gracing her lips as she kept readjusting the neckline of her gown and he instantly needed to put a hand in front of his mouth to conceal a laugh.
Her naive dreams of the ideal female figure... The butler could see where that was coming from though, it took his mistress so long to hit puberty and develop any womanly forms after all. He needed to make extra-efforts to stifle his laughs, when he remembered the first time his mistress met Earl Phantomhive's fiancee, Elizabeth Midford, after long years of separation.
Elena back then was still a tomboyish figure struggling to fit in a gown; he remembered how she looked when she saw the ample bosom of the Midford young lady.
She must have felt betrayed and at a disadvantage as she was competing, though on a subconscious level, with the blonde to win the Earl's affection.
The butler even caught her that night stuffing her corset with cotton and looking at her reflection in the mirror.
He found that utterly hilarious.
"And now I am the one competing with a bunch of children...Ah~ you are utterly pathetic Kyle Lancaster."
«Why are you sighing? »
Kyle lifted his head to find his mistress looking at him with an arched brow.
He shook his head with a small smile. «Nothing, » He ignored the incredulous look she gave him. «More importantly Elena, » he said, leaning his upper body forward as his forearms resting on his spread legs got closer allowing him to intertwine his fingers. «Will you discuss that matter with Phantomhive today? »
Elena leaned back into her seat as she closed her eyes, taking in a lung-full of air just to let it out through her nose in a cracked exhalation. «Yes. » She opened her eyes. «As much as I hate to admit it, I'm going to need him to back me up this time. »
Author note:
By "the proof of womanhood" Kyle was referring to what we more commonly would call "the cleavage" XP
I had a hard time writing some parts of this chapter, I'll note particularly "the way Sebastian addresses Grell", going through the manga and animes again, I made sure Sebastian avoids calling Grell by any name all together, and in rare occasions he would simply call him "Grell", as you may have noticed, in this story, I'm inclined on adapting the terms used in the English dubbed anime version, though not personally my favourite, but is what I deem more appropriate taking in consideration the setting of the original story: Victorian England.
"The meal that brings back memories" was a small reference to chapter 99.5 "That butler, Nursing."
Just a reminder to make things clearer: Elena is almost one year younger than Ciel, who is himself one year younger than Elizabeth. So the age gap between Elena and Elizabeth may go up to two years?
Thank you again everyone for reading this chapter, don't forget to share your opinion! :)