13
Wonderful Tonight
A/N: we don't own The Kilt Song by Aly Macrae
The women were waiting a bit impatiently downstairs for Bae and Rumple to come down.
Marie was laughing. "Isn't it us that's supposed to be fashionably late?'
Even little Gisella was whining. "I wanna see Uncle Rumple's monkey suit 'fore I leave with Granpappy. HURRY UP UNCLE RUMPLE! " she bellowed. "While I's still young!"
They all burst into laughter.
"That's my girl," Marie said proudly.
Major cocked his head and barked lightly.
Gisella started tapping her foot. "Kay if you don't come down I'm comin up there and I'll bring you down even if you're naked!"
"Oh God...Marie...she's worse than WE are!" Belle giggled.
"I don't think so, kid!" Bae called down, as he started down the stairs. "I had trouble with my tie. So sue me!"
"You're not worth the court fees, dearie!" His father laughed as he followed right behind him.
"I'm gonna and I'm gonna make you pay big bucks and no whammies!"
Belle meanwhile was speechless as she stared at her husband. Seeing the suit in the shop had only been the tip of the iceberg. She had to wonder where a bucket of ice water was when she needed it...not that she wanted to cool down. Oh God...I could melt in a puddle at his feet...
"Damn, girl . . .why can't he clone himself?" Marie hissed.
Must...not...ravish...him, Belle was chanting in her head.
"Mine..." she purred aloud.
Andi was having the same trouble looking at Bae. Her green eyes were alight like a tree on Christmas morning. Oh God . . .I want to shove him against the wall and kiss him senseless . . .and right in front of his parents too!
Little Gisella was confused. Everyone was acting so weird. So they were all dressed up. What was the big deal?
"Andi . . . you look . . . um . . .fantastic!" Bae blurted, coming to hand her a white carnation and blue rose corsage. "And here's some flowers."
Entwined between the flowers was a blue butterfly necklace.
"Oh! It's beautiful!" she exclaimed.
"Here," he said, undoing the pendant. "I'll put it on. It's sapphires. Papa helped me pick it out."
Belle was drawn out of her reverie watching with pride as her son presented his love with his gift.
She quickly dug into her purse for her phone to snap a picture when he placed the pendant around Andi's neck.
Andi smiled. Bae was so thoughtful . . and he also remembered that the butterfly, along with an oak tree was the symbol of her once noble family. Strength, hope, and beauty, she chanted.
I am the last lady of Avignon . . .until Bae marries me, she thought with pride. If he does.
"It's beautiful, Andi!" Belle whispered. "And what a lovely symbol for your family."
The girl's eyes glistened with tears. "My mom . . , used to tell me of the legend of the blue swallowtail . . . and how it was the messenger of hope . . . a magic butterfly that blessed its chosen with love . . .I didn't remember that when we were cursed, but I do now."
"And now it's blessed you..."
"Yeah, it has." She smiled at Bae as he put his arm around her. "I've got the handsomest guy in the whole school tonight . . . excepting Mr. Gold."
Belle turned back to her husband. "And the other women can keep their hands off because they're ours..."
"You guys gonna make out now? M'gonna havta leave the room if you do that," Gisella blurted.
Rumple tweaked her nose. "No, minx. We'll save that for later." He eyed his wife appreciatively, suddenly wishing the night were over. He loved her dress, it made her look like a princess, but he would have loved better taking it off her. "You look dazzling, sweetheart." He took her right hand and kissed it, like an old fashioned gentleman.
"Why thank you..." she cooed and curtseyed.
"Do you think Archie will be as speechless?" Marie asked nervously.
"Yes, he will be," Rumple assured her. "The man doesn't get out much on dates . . .his jaw's going to hit the floor when he sees you."
"Oh I hope so."
They heard a knock at the door. "Rum, Belle?"
"It's Granpappy!" Gisella said excitedly.
"Come in!" Rumple called.
Moe had his camera in his hands. "You all look great. Now hold still while I get some pictures...get in there with them, Gisella," the florist instructed.
Bae put a hand on her shoulder. "Hold still, jack rabbit!"
"Perfect!" Moe took five pictures of them as a group, one with Belle, Marie and Gisella one of each of the couples and one with just Gisella, Bae and Major.
"I passed Archie's car on the way here, Marie."
She gulped.
"You'll do fine," Belle encouraged.
Marie was close to collapsing when she heard a car door shut.
A few moments later, there came a knock on the door.
"Oh God..." she moaned.
Gisella ran to the door and threw it open, yelling, "Mommy, your date's here!"
Archie blushed and said, "Hello, Gisella. You're like the town crier." He was dressed in a very nice tailored mocha suit that set his hair off perfectly.
She wanted to sink into the floor. This would be a disaster. Still she couldn't deny he looked stunning in his mocha suit. It was the color she thought he looked best in though she dared not say it aloud.
"You all look incredible," the therapist said, looking at the Golds and Andi. "But especially . . ." then he caught sight of Marie . . . and his fine speech deserted him. "Oh!"
"I look terrible, don't I?" Marie croaked. I overdid it, she thought. She backed away ready to run to the farthest corners of the earth. He was referring to Belle not her...she should've expected that.
"Terrible? No . . .no, you look . . .beautiful!" he assured her. "Like a queen . . .I . . .I had this . . .wonderful speech prepared and when I saw you I forgot everything."
"Y...You...had a speech prepared...for me?"
"Umm . . . yes . . .I did . . .err . . . maybe I could recite it for you . . .in the car?" he blushed.
Marie smiled. "If you'd like to."
"Granpappy, take a picture with Mommy an' Mister Hopper!"
Belle had her own camera ready.
"You heard her, Papa," she prodded.
"All right you two...pose for my granddaughter and smile!"
Archie was beaming and wondering when he was going to wake up from the lovely dream he was having.
Marie was terrified this was all a fantasy and when she blinked her eyes it would be gone. He would be gone. She would just have to enjoy it while it lasted...
Moe snapped several pictures with his camera, thinking how lovely his daughter looked. And how she had captivated the man beside her . . .just like her mother had done so long ago to him.
"Okay Gisella, you be good for Granpappy and we'll be by to pick you up later."
"Okay." She threw her arms around her mother.
She was hoping soon she would have a real daddy.
She then approached Archie. "You take care of Mommy or I'll kick ya when I see ya!"
"Gisella!"
But Archie was not put off by the child's attitude. "I promise I will take the best care of her," he said solemnly. "So you can forget about injuring me, okay?"
"Okay!" The little girl sought out Rumple next.
"Gotta go with Granpappy now...see ya later alligator!"
Rumple laughed. "You are too much! Be good and I'll see you soon."
He hugged her.
She then hugged her aunt. "Don't be havin your baby yet...wanna see it."
"You have a little time to wait for that," Belle giggled.
"Like months!" laughed Bae. "High five, Gisella."
She jumped up and smacked her hand against his.
"No givin Andi the tongue Bae or your daddy's gonna ground you for a month an' make you eat liverwurst!"
"I...am..going to...KILL Zelena!" Marie muttered.
"Okay . . .I'll remember . . .!" Bae smirked. "And don't forget to take your magic coloring book."
"Can I watch..ooohhh wee ooohh...burrrnnnn the witch!" Gisella grabbed her magic coloring book and tucked it into her bag.
Belle and Marie had tears in their eyes from laughing.
Gisella high fived Andi. "If Bae doesn't act like a nice guy...you can kick him in the nuts."
"Gisella..." Marie moaned, shaking her head. The things that child said sometimes...
Andi laughed. "Bae's always nice to me. It's other guys I have to worry about."
"Well kick 'em anyhow...BYEEEEE!"
"Have a good time," Moe said to the group and followed his granddaughter out to the car.
Archie waved as they left. Then he took Marie's arm. "Shall we?"
"Yes..."
She wondered if he would still make the speech he claimed to have prepared for her. She'd heard men speak sweet nothings before, Gaston being the worst of them...right before he make it clear he was only interested in what he could get out of her. And he'd given her a brutal lesson on how dangerous the male of the species could be...
"Have a good time!" Belle called to them.
"Come on, let's get in the car. We don't want to be late," Rumple urged, and waved Bae and Andi out the door before escorting his wife out. "Major, guard!" he instructed the shepherd.
Major went on alert and watched as his family left the house, then sat in the middle of the foyer, listening and watching for any intruders.
Gold's wards would normally keep away any evil presence or magical creature or spell, but sometimes had trouble detecting more mundane threats. But Major would take care of those, as he had been trained to do.
"Ready to do some searching tonight, Rumple? These kids will sneak their goods in any way they can," Belle muttered.
"They can try, dearie. It won't work."
"Betcha Eti the Yeti tries something," Bae snorted
"Of course he will," Andi agreed. "He thinks he can do whatever he wants."
"Mr. Hale was fit to be tied a whole back when he held locker inspections and found three with bongs in them!"
"And whose were they?" asked Andi.
"One of them belonged to Mr. Hale's own son...that's why he was so enraged."
"What a dope!" Bae coughed. "I told Marty a long time ago not to hang around Etienne and those other jerks. But he didn't listen to me."
" And that's why your father was so mad after you were caught smoking in the bathroom." Belle reminded. "He didn't want you getting involved in that too!"
Bae sighed. "I wouldn't have been. I only did that because of a dare."
"I'm glad your papa straightened you out, Fire. Cause I don't date guys who smoke anything." Andi said.
"Good for you," Belle said softly.
Though she knew they had to keep a watchful eye out for rowdy teenagers, Belle was looking forward to sharing a dance or two with her husband.
Rumple was also looking forward to it, for he could still do slow dances, even with his lame leg.
Bae was praying he remembered all the steps to the dances Belle and Rumple had shown him and didn't step on Andi's feet.
Andi fingered her butterfly pendant nervously and hoped she didn't make a laughingstock out of herself by tripping over her own feet.
Belle had been a chaperon at several dances and knew what was expected of her only this time she wouldn't be miserable knowing she finally had a companion. Sometimes she sat alone at her table and watched the young couples dancing around her feeling that the man she was meant to dance with was out there..somewhere.
And as fate would have it, not too long after that the man she'd been calling and waking up at six am every morning for the last twenty-eight years to vent about something wrong in her apartment was the one she was looking for the whole time.
After the curse was broken she remember who he truly was to her...not the cold landlord who called her his least favorite pain in the ass...but her true love...Rumplestiltskin.
Recalling those times made her chuckle.
Rumple pulled into the parking lot using the space for faculty, since Belle was a teacher. The building was lit up not only because the junior high dance was going on in the gym, but also because the kindergartners were putting on a school play in the auditorium.
"Okay, dearies, the coach has arrived!" Rumple announced as they all got out.
'"Even if those kids try something stupid...at least I'm not here alone now," Belle said softly.
"No . . . and if they do, they'll find themselves banned from the dance and sent home and Mr. Hale will be informed," Rumple said firmly.
"Be careful, Rumple. The girls have habit of hiding things in places you don't want to look."
"My magic will look for me," he answered.
Her eyes flashed with anger as she recalled an incident in the Dark Castle involving a witch she and her sister both wanted to massacre.
"Tell that to Zelena," she grumbled. "You don't remember...do you? I didn't forget."
"Let's not discuss her right now." Rumple said darkly. His memories of the girl who was his first apprentice since Cora were not fond ones.
"I'm sorry, darling. I'm being your least favorite pain in the ass again, aren't I?'
He slanted her a glance. "Not yet, but if you keep bringing her up you will be."
"All right...how about I call you at 6am to wake you up?" she teased.
Not that she had to...all she had to do was roll over and right there he was.
"I turned the phone off," he joked.
"Besides...I think you like your wakeup calls a lot better now..."
"I'd say so. Now I get woken up with a kiss instead of a virago screeching in my ear-Mr. Gold, my faucet's leaking!"
"I think my favorite was the shower one...and you accused me of timing it perfectly that you used your passkey right as I was getting out of the shower." She smirked. ""Nice try dearie, but putting yourself on display won't get me to replace your shower door'."
It was the very day he brought Bae into the school, the day his own memories returned.
Gold chuckled. "I was used to dealing with Ashley . . .who would take everything off if a man looked at her a certain way."
"I was impressed...you actually looked and that was before you remembered who I was."
"You were still the same woman, then and now. I couldn't help myself," he admitted.
They were almost to the doors when they heard a mocking voice call, "Hey Gold...what's the idea of dressing like your old man? Trying to grow old before your time!"
"Son of a bitch..." Belle cursed.
Etienne approached the group with a girl on his arm wearing the very same Jessica Rabbit dress Belle and Andi saw in Tiana's shop that revealed more of her than it did when Andi tried it on.
"Should've dyed his hair to match," the teenager went on, laughing.
"Oh and look Eti...it's the knocked up gold digger too. Bet they used the old turkey baster method."
"Yeah since he can't get it up. Hey Andi...nice dress...how long you have to be on your back to pay for it?"
"You do the old man too?" his girlfriend added.
"Belle, do you hear something squawking?" Gold drawled.
"Why, yes, Rumple, I do."
"Sounds like a turkey. All noise and no sense." He deliberately walked past the two teens on the sidewalk, ready to head into the building, giving them the ice cold treatment, though he longed to turn them into frogs.
Bae looked over to see his nemesis, Etienne, standing on the sidewalk, dressed in a flashy white suit that set off his tanned skin and dark hair perfectly. And his date was Savannah Harte, one of the prettiest—and snottiest—girls in school.
Andi's eyes flashed. "Figures you'd think that, Savannah Does Storybrooke High!" she spat. "How much did Eti pay you for going and coming, you tart?"
"Least I know how...VIRGIN!"
"You forget, Andi, he schedules by the hour, like any good pimp!" Bae shot back.
"Or did the Golds pop your cherry?" Savannah sneered.
"Probably can't find it!" Etienne taunted.
"Well we all know Eti wasn't YOUR first because you've done the whole school!" Andi growled.
"Having trouble like your dad, Devereaux?" sneered Bae. "Maybe you ought to eat some pickles and quit playing with it."
"Oh like you didn't do a little gang banging? C'mon. You act like a virgin but I bet you spread 'em for the whole crew."
"Nice fantasy, tart cart," Andi snapped. "You know, the Foxtrot's hiring. Better go put in your resume, Harte. And here's what it says-I do them ALL, any way, every way, and all ways!"
"Least I don't do little boys and old men!" She glanced over at Belle. "Getting lessons off her? She screws monsters."
Belle wanted to slap the smirk right off that teenage tramp's face.
"Like your mama?" Andi sneered. "I heard she did ogres. When everybody else was running away from them, she was running towards them and screaming T-o-o-thy! Stick it in right here, you beast!"
"You shut up about my mama! Least she never needed to worry 'bout one of 'em dropping dead of a heart attack on top of you or getting off too soon!"
"Oh, you'd know, right? That's what happened to the last four you did!" Andi replied.
"They were just tryouts...I go for the finishers."
"Then what are you doing with HIM?" Bae growled. "Trying him out? Don't blame you. Flashy model, no stamina and no class."
"Better than you...needledick!" Etienne laughed again. "And a hairy ass!"
Belle looked up at her husband. She knew they had to put a stop to this soon before it got out of hand but she was enjoying hearing her son and Andi let those two idiots have it.
"You bray like one, you act like one, and you sure as hell smell like one! When was the last time you took a bath, Devereaux, during Genesis?" returned Bae. "No wonder why all the girls faint at your feet! It's like the stench of twenty thousand tombs!"
"You and your old man even know what a bath was before he became the big bad Dark One, shitface?"
Savannah giggled. "They probably named their fleas."
"I knew long before you did, you noble dick! And at least I didn't get favors by having to kiss my dad's ass, or screwing every woman that looked at me." Bae glared at Savannah. "Oh, is that one crawling in your hair? Oh my God! Call an exterminator! Etienne's dog's got FLEAS!"
"Must be her wig, Bae!" Andi hooted. "You know that hairdo's not natural!"
"Oh funny..here's a better one. That kid your mom's having...is it his or yours...?"
"Of all the vile, disgusting..." Belle snarled.
"Why don't you ask yourself that question, dearie?" Gold broke in. "IF you even know the answer!"
"Ooohhh so the little coward actually has a voice...I'm impressed." She sauntered up to him. "Soooo Mr Gold...you have to do a little magic so that dick of yours can actually work or do you let your son do the job for you? You have to pick virgins cause you can't handle a real woman..." She practically thrust her cleavage in his face.
"Don't waste your breath, dearie. Not interested in teenage hookers. You've got nothing I want to see and plenty I don't need to catch." He looked her up and down with a sneer that said she was dirt and where the hell was a broom?
"Not what Zelena says..."
"If you're taking lessons from that little witch, dearie, you need to go back and study some more. Oh, and by the way, take the bottle of vodka out of your bra . . .it's leaking."
"Oh...shit!"
Belle laughed. "I thought for a minute she was lactating."
Gold waved a hand and the bottle was levitated out of her dress . . .almost taking the dress with it. Then his eyes became icy cold. "Now children . . .go home and tell your papa to beat you for your stupidity in thinking you could trick the Dark One!"
"And while you're at it...we'll take the bag of marijuana too." Belle pointed to a bulge near her waistline.
"Fuck!" Savannah cursed. She handed it over to Belle.
"Maybe you ought to strip search Devereaux, Papa. God knows what he's shoved up there," Bae sneered.
"You can't do that! I'll sue you!"
"Wanna make a bet?" Rumple growled.
"Not before we sue you and that deadbeat father of yours first!" Belle snarled.
"Hand it over, boy!" Rumple barked. "Or else all those kids watching from the windows are going to have something else to talk about besides a silly song!
"Bring it on, limp dick!"
"Very well. You asked for it." Rumple said. He gestured.
Etienne's pants suddenly fell down, revealing his tie dye boxers . . . and the bag of cocaine strapped to them.
"Oh my GOD!" one of the other girls screeched. "Tie dye! That is SO OLD!"
Gold picked it up. "Let's see-possession of an illegal substance, attempt to sell said substance on school property . . .insulting an official chaperone . . . that's three counts right there . . .enough to get you sent to Boston Pen after juvie . . ."
"Oh my God...Becky! Look at his butt..it's so...SMALL!" yelled a petite girl in a fine green dress accompanied by a sweet looking brown-haired young man in a killer tux to her friend next to her.
"Wow...it's like there's nothing there, Kat...what's he do... pad his footballs tights?" Becky laughed. Next to her was her date, a handsome boy in traditional Scottish dress.
"Maybe he needs Viagra!" sneered the girl in the green gown.
"No wonder Vannah does Storybrooke!"
"Hey Bae, sing the song!" encouraged the young man in the tux.
Bae started singing the Gaston song . . .and the others quickly joined in.
"You little fuckers! You wait...I'll get all of you!" Etienne yowled.
"Oooo, look out, Becky, the Yeti's coming! Better get out the shotgun!" Kat gasped.
"Shootgunnnn...shoot em fore he run now!" Becky sang, an oldie her mother listened to.
"Run away, run away, down the old valley road . . . with his ass hanging out through a hole he mis-sewed!" her friend sang.
"Fuck you, you ugly bitches!"
"You wanna repeat that asswipe?" growled Ewan, Becky's boyfriend.
"Oh honey . . . you shouldn't talk bout yourself that way! You'll give yourself a complex! Like herpes!" Kat sneered, tossing her head.
"Shut up, skirtboy! Look at that..Ewan's wearin' a skirt." Etienne hooted.
"It's a KILT you stupid shit!" Bae yelled.
Ewan McCleod was one of his best friends and an ex member of the Scorpions.
"He failed World History . . .only passed cause he tol' Miss Blue to meet him in the lounge after the school closed!" the boy in the tux reminded them.
Etienne tried to pull up his pants only they wouldn't go up. "What the...you asshole!"
A crowd gathered and they were all laughing.
"You've been weighed, you've been measured . . . and you've been found wanting!" crowed Robert, Kat's boyfriend.
Ewan high fived him.
"Oh Mommy dear, see here, see here, I've lost my dick and don't know where to find him!" Kat giggled.
"Oh my God... I'm dying over here..." Becky giggled.
"Savannah knows!" Andi commented. "She sold it on ebay . . .world's smallest pecker!"
"We should call him Woody No Pecker!"
Bae began laughing like the famous cartoon bird.
Etienne glared daggers at the assembled group.
"Master of the house! Quick to catch 'er eye! Never let's a pretty girl pass him by!" sang Laura. "Thinks he's quite a lover . . . but there ain't that much there!"
"All right Etienne, Savannah...out of here, NOW!" snapped Belle.
"All right, you desperate knocked up bi-" Savannah began.
"Finish that sentence, dearie and I'll do to you what your father should have done four years ago-I'll take you across my knee right here and now and paddle your butt so hard you won't be sitting for a month!" Rumple growled, his eyes glittering.
Savannah shrank from him, fear in her eyes.
"Do it, Mr. Gold!" Bobby cried. "Whip her ass like a naughty two year old brat!"
"Yeah...blister his fat arse too!" added Ewan.
Etienne backed away, his pants still around his ankles. "I'll sue you! I'll sue all of you!" he babbled.
"Daddy! BOO HOO! They're being mean to me, Daddy!" Kat pretended to wipe tears from her eyes. "I'm telling. Bwahhahha!"
Bae was laughing so hard he was afraid he'd pee himself.
"Better run, Devereaux! Cause Mr. Gold's coming for ya! With the chainsaw! Ahhaahhahhaa!" cackled another girl.
"Ooohh! The chainsaw! Like oh my Gawd! Didja cut it off?"
"C'mon Eti...let's go and have our own party. Fuck these losers."
"That's what you do, sugah!"
The pair stormed off.
The other teens gathered started clapping.
Belle linked her arm through her husband's. "Shall we?"
"Let's."
They processed into the gym, accompanied by the five couples and Bae and Andi. Rumple and Belle stationed themselves by the doors, and checked everyone who came in. No one was allowed to bring any food or drinks or containers into the gym and Belle checked all the girls' purses and evening bags.
Rumple cast a simple spell that let him know if anyone had hidden contraband on them.
They confiscated a few packs of cigarettes, three bottles spiked with vodka or rum, another three bags of marijuana and one more bag of cocaine.
Belle noted who they were so she could tell Mr. Hale on Monday. Those who were carrying drugs and alcohol were told firmly to leave, no arguments.
"Good Lord, Rumple...what is wrong with these kids!"
Rumple sighed. "They're a lot bolder and wilder than when they lived back in our old realm. And I don't know who to blame-the way this world exposes them to things . . .their parents not keeping a tighter rein on them . . . or the curse."
"Well our children sure as hell won't be doing any of that!"
"No, indeed. Bae knows better than to even try . . .and so will this one. Nor would any of my children ever address an adult the way those two little cretins did outside."
"I don't think we've seen the last of them."
"I fear you're right. They're trouble with a capital T."
"Using all this magic isn't draining you, is it?"
"No. I've a few baubles-like my ring here-" he wiggled his finger upon which he wore a smoky blue cabochon. "-that store magical power, and I can use it to help me."
This year's theme was called Midnight Enchantment with the ceiling of the gym decorated like a starry sky under a half moon.
While the kids were dancing, the photographer asked the chaperones to pose for pictures for the yearbook under the star archway.
Belle stood beside Rumple and smiled delightedly. Despite the rocky start to the evening outside, she was enjoying this dance.
Later on she would ask the DJ to play their song for one of the slow dances.
Everything seemed to be going well, the kids were too busy dancing or wandering from table to table to chat to get involved in any mischief.
They would each have a souveneir of the night in the form of a champagne glass with the name of the dance's theme and the date
The DJ played a mix of 70's, 80's, and 90's tunes. First they rocked out to Van Halen's Dreams and then he played a set of Def Leppard tunes-Hysteria, Animal, and Pour Some Sugar on Me.
Bae soon found he wasn't as nervous as he thought once he got out on the floor and started dancing with his friends and Andi. Ewan was a former Scorpion and Bobby was an ex-Purple Knight, an ally of his gang.
"Hey, Ewan!" Bae said after the last set had finished. "I dare you to sing the kilt song, laddie!"
"Ummm your dad might throw a fit..."
"C'mon, do it!" Becky encouraged.
"He'll get over it," Bae laughed.
"I wanna hear it!" Kat encouraged.
"Do it, man!" Bobby agreed.
"Hey Bobby...you wanna sing it together..."
"Yeah, why not . . .?"
"Ohhhhhh A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddl wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.
They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth
They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show
The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"
The two boys, both of them bearing Scots names, with Bobby's last name being McTavish, belted out the song with gusto, and the girls and some others clapped along.
Belle nearly dropped the glass she was holding.
"Rumple, did you hear...?"
The former Dark One looked like he'd swallowed a lemon. "My God, Belle! That song . . .!"
"Where on earth did they hear that!?"
"I have NO idea!" he hissed.
The group of teenagers was laughing hysterically. Ewan and Bobby sometimes sang it when the gangs would party together.
They pulled their girlfriends out on the floor and twirled them around.
"I think we ought to have a little talk with them..."
"Yes. It's fine to have fun but some things are not appropriate," Gold said.
"All right we won't be having any of that!" Belle said firmly when they approached the group.
"Aww, Mrs. Gold!" Bobby sighed.
"Don't you awww me, Robert McTavish. You all know better."
"Or you should," Rumple lectured. He frowned at the boys. "There's a time and place, lads, and this is not it."
"Sorry Mr. Gold, Mrs. Gold..." Ewan muttered.
"All right . . .no more songs like that, okay? You can have fun just refrain from these off color songs, clear?" Rumple said, giving them one of his disappointed Looks.
"Okay..."
Rumple walked up to the DJ and asked him to play a special song that he and Belle had danced to at their wedding, since he felt after that rather raunchy display, they needed a slow love song.
Belle waited in the center of the dance floor, her heart beating faster when she heard the opening to their song.
As the strains of Martina McBride's "There You Are" filled the room, Rumple reached his wife and took her in his arms. His brown eyes glowed with love and passion as he moved lightly to the music.
"There you are, in the early light of day, there you are, in the quiet words I pray, I've been blessed with your simple happiness, and the perfect love we've made . . ."
She lay her head on his chest, sighing contentedly. "I feel like we're at our own prom..." she murmured.
"Or a coming out ball . . .which is what you would have had back in Avonlea," he murmured as they swayed to the music.
"I hope Marie's night is going so well too..."
"Every time I turn around, when I was lost and when I'm found, like an angel standing guard-there you are . .."
"I would think so," he said, his voice a deep rumble in his chest.
He noticed as they revolved that few of the teenagers were also dancing to their song, sweet yet awkward.
"Remember the night we danced in the Dark Castle...you were so nervous but I barely noticed it because I was too..."
"Yes . . . I was afraid you wouldn't want to dance with a beast," he mumbled.
"I didn't want to dance with anyone else...didn't want to be with anyone else..."
It was also the last time they were happy. The curse struck the following morning.
This time, Rumple vowed, nothing would keep them apart. His hand moved down to cup her belly. "Hello, my wee one. I hope you're enjoying this dance too."
"Do you think we're having a boy...or a girl?"
Rumple considered. "Uh . . .they say it's too early to tell . . .but I have a feeling . . .just a feeling mind you, that . . .the baby's a girl . . . but I could be wrong . . ."
She smiled. "A little daughter for you to spoil rotten...and scare the skin off potential boyfriends.."
"And turn our hair white as snow," he giggled.
"It'll be worth it...it'll all be worth it."
"Of course . . .children are worth every bit of trouble . . ." he said. "And maybe she'll have her mother's eyes . . ."
"Or her father's..."
"I'd like her to have your hair."
"I wish we didn't have to wait so long..."
"Well, dearie, babies come when they're ready and not before. It's the miracle of life . . .and the greatest magic of all . . .besides True Love."
"And maybe...someday...we can have more...miracles can happen more than once."
"Yes, they can," he agreed.
They barely noticed that the song was over and were still dancing when the next song came on. It was Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight and Bae and Andi danced over to them.
"You're looking good, Papa!" his son called.
Rumple smiled. "So are you."
"Andi, are you having a good time?" Belle inquired.
She nodded. "Yes. The music's great and so is my partner."
"These Gold men know how to make a woman feel like a queen."
"Yeah . . .and not for just a night either . . ." the duke's daughter grinned.
Page~*~*~*~Break
The items that had been confiscated by that impotent wizard and his turkey baster wife were easily replaced when Etienne made a call to his dealer. He had to pay double of course but his father had the money.
There was nothing Savannah liked more than stoned sex. She had to give the little gang boy and his girlfriend credit...they were right about Etienne being a lousy lay unless he was higher than a kite.
After an hour of playing, Etienne got the brilliant idea to go back to the school and cause some mayhem. Maybe set off a stinkbomb in the gym or something.
"They'd shit themselves for sure!" Savannah laughed. "Do it!"
They hopped in his Roadster and zoomed back over, Etienne laughing like a hyean the whole way.
"I can't wait to see the look on Limp Dick Gold's face when he finds out he's not so smart!"
They got out and prepared to sneak into the gym. Music from Journey was playing and it sounded like all the dweebs and their tart girls were having a great time.
"We should've been in there if anyone other than Gold was on babysitting duty!"
"Aww who cares? They're losers anyway!" she sneered.
Etienne started to sweat, the stoned feeling leaving him. "Look . . .stay here. I gotta go take another hit."
"Here? You'll get caught!"
"Nope. The faculty bathroom's here and nobody's gonna be here to use it this time of night," he sniggered.
"Well hurry up, will ya?"
She tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for him. Sometimes she thought he dragged it out just to piss her off.
In the bathroom, Etienne was taking a long slow drag off his joint, enjoying watching the smoke as it curled up towards the ceiling. He couldn't wait to stick to those assholes . . .
Suddenly he heard footsteps outside the bathroom and he hastily stubbed out the joint and chucked into a trashcan overflowing with paper towels. Then he ducked inside of a stall.
"Eti...hurry the fuck up!"
Savannah pounded on the closed stall door.
He exhaled in relief and came out. "Thought you was old man Gold or somethin'," he giggled.
"Yeah right. He's too busy with the turkey baster and those other losers. I wanna see 'em run like babies...get movin and set the bomb off!"
She glared at him. "Unless you're chickening out..."
"Am not!" Etienne followed her out of the bathroom, too eager to do mayhem to realize that the joint he'd tossed in among the paper towels was still lit, and the embers began to catch the towels and burn them.
As the two crept back towards the gym, the auditorium with the kindgergartners and their parents let out, forcing the two to duck around a corner and wait.
"Daddy, I gotta go potty!" whined a towheaded boy to his father.
"Me too!" yelled his smaller sister, jumping up and down.
"Okay. Timmy, you know where the bathroom us, right?" asked their father.
"Uh huh. Down there!" the boy pointed.
"Okay, you take Missy and go, just wait outside the door till she's done." Their father directed.
"I'll call Mommy and tell her we're coming home." He reached into his pocket for his cell while his kids raced two doors down to the bathroom.
"Dammit!" Savannah cursed. "Freakin' kids!"
Excited kids and parents spilled into the hallway, blocking their way and forcing them to remain hidden until the exodus was over.
Meanwhile, in the gym, Bae and the others were dancing to YMCA and Cotton-Eyed Joe, as well as some popular tunes from Queen.
Belle was feeling a bit tired from the baby and wanted to sit down for a bit..
As she went to find her chair and drink a can of ginger ale, the fire alarm went off.
She dropped the can on the floor. "Rumple!"
The DJ turned the music off.
The fire in the restroom trashcan was raging, having good accelerant in the paper towels and other garbage, and it had spread out into the hall way.
Outside the gym, little kids and parents started to panic and mill about, fighting to get through the doors and causing a traffic jam.
One of the sprinklers went off inside the restroom, but the trashcan was further away and it couldn't totally penetrate the fire zone. Plus the fire greedily ate up the carpet in the teacher's lounge.
"Missy! Timmy!" screamed the frantic dad, trying to get through the mass of peopleto get to his kids to no avail.
"The fire alarm went off...they'll be distracted...let's go!" Savannah urged her date.
They bolted down the hallway to the back exit, Savannah throwing her lit cigarette butt into a display of paper flowers outside a classroom. It started another fire as they ran through the emergency doors.
As they did so, a security camera mounted on the wall snapped their picture.
As she had during their fire drills, Belle shouted out orders to the crowd in the gym, as always treating it like an actual emergency even if she wasn't sure. It sounded like someone playing a prank.
"Everyone line up in a neat and orderly fashion!" Rumple barked beside her. "No pushing or shoving!"
Accustomed to the drills, they obeyed promptly.
"Mr. Gold, look!" screamed one of the students.
"Oh my God!" Belle's hand flew to her mouth. "We have to get everyone out of here...NOW!"
Smoke drifted into the open doors from the hallway...
"All right . . .don't panic."Rumple soothed. "I can get everyone out." The ring on his hand began to glow as he drew power from it.
"Be careful..." she pleaded.
Kids were screaming and crying in the hallway.
"Oh my God! Rumple! The kindergarten class . . . they were having their play . . .!"
"Shit!" he swore. He gestured with one hand and a glowing doorway formed in the gym wall. "Everybody, go through that! Now!"
"Rumple...thre kindergarten class...it's right in their path..."
They could see the outside of the parking lot through the glowing doorway.
"I know. Go! You get out! I'll go help them!" he ordered, pushing his wife towards the exit.
"No...I'm staying here. You'll need my help...you're draining out"
"Belle! Smoke inhalation is NOT good for the baby! Now get the hell out of here so I can concentrate, dammit!" he ordered. A glowing shield snapped around himself, protecting him from the smoke. He turned his wife about and shoved her towards the gate in the wall.
"Rumple!" she sobbed.
"Go! I'll be okay!" he insisted.
Just then Bae turned around. "Papa! I gotta find Andi! She went to the bathroom!"
"Oh no!" Belle moaned.
He raced out of the gym and into the mass of panicked children.
"BAE!"
Rumple was terrified. But he knew he couldn't afford to panic. "Move!" he yelled to his wife.
Reluctantly she obeyed, terrified for him and for their son but knew she had to protect their other child too.
Then when he saw her doing what he ordered, he went to the doorway of the gym and began Fetching the children out into the parking lot with magic.
"Go! Through the doors! Your kids are outside!" he called to the frantic parents, the ring on his hand glowing like a star gone nova as he drew in the last of its power.
Belle attempted to go back in, arms seized her and pulled her back. "No, Mrs. Gold! You can't. He'd want you to stay here and keep your baby safe."
The parents began to obey, coughing and weeping as the smoke surrounded them.
Rumple continued transporting the kids he could see outside in quick bursts.
Andi emerged from a stall wondering why the hell the alarm was ringing. Stupid jerks! Somebody probably pulled it! Suddenly a little hand tugged her dress. "M'scared! I want my daddy!"
"It's okay!" Andi said and picked up the little girl.
As she made her way out of the bathroom, she saw another little boy standing there. "Hey, who're you?
"Timmy!" shrieked the girl. "My big brudder!"
"That's the fire alarm," Timmy said.
"I know. We gotta leave now," Andi said, coughing as some smoke stung her lungs.
She took Timmy's hand.
As they started to walk down the hall towards the main entrance, Bae dashed up to them.
"Andi! Thank God! Are you all right!"
"Fine! What the hell's going on? Some prank?"
"No, the place is really on fire. I don't know how. Papa's getting everyone else out...we have to hurry!"
Andi swore softly. They went down the hall only to find there was no way to get out as the smoke was too thick.
"Up the stairs! Second floor!"
She began to run towards the stairs carrying Missy.
Bae picked up Timmy.
His locker was on the second floor and in it one of his bungee cords. They would have to climb out.
He quickly unlocked it and snatched up the black cord there. Andi opened hers and grabbed a blue one.
"Okay...we need you both to hold on tight...okay...we're gonna go out through the window...you know...like Spiderman..."
She kicked off her heels. Then she looked at her once fellow catburglar and said, "Just like old times, huh, Wildfire?"
"I've got your back, Wraith!" Bae said, giving her a thumbs up.
"Yay...we're gonna be like Spiderman!" the kids cheered.
"Hug me round my neck!" Andi told Missy. "And don't let go, okay?" She would need both hands to climb.
"Kay!" the child clung to her."M'not!"
Andi set the cord into the window frame and tugged it. "God, Fire! This better hold!"
"She'll hold," he assured her.
He set his. Then he shoved open the large window. He tossed the cord out and saw that it fell short by about two feet. "We'll have to free climb the last bit. Ready?"
Those cords had gotten them out of some of the tallest buildings in the town and carried much more weight.
He waited until she had started to rappel down before he followed, Timmy hugging him about the neck with his feet wrapped around his waist.
Belle could only watch holding her breath as she saw her son and Andi climbing out a second story window carrying two children to safety.
Rumple limped out of the gate, close to collapse from magical drain. "Belle . . .I couldn't . . .find Bae . . ." he gasped, close to tears.
"He's up there!" she pointed.
Rumple looked up . . . "Jesus H. Christ!"
Around them kids clung to parents and pointed as sirens wailed and police and fire trucks pulled up.
"Lookit, Mommy!" one girl said. "They're like Spiderman!"
"How are they doing that?" a parent asked. "Magic?"
"That's the Gold boy...the gang kid..."
"Nah. Bungee cord!" replied Ewan. "Wraith and Fire are the best climbers in the whole town."
"Saved our asses a dozen times, right, Ewan?" asked Bobby.
The other boy nodded, just as a frantic father dashed up. "My kids! My kids are in there!" he half-sobbed.
"No they ain't, mister. Your kids are there!" Ewan said. "With Wraith and Wildfire."
"Oh thank God...thank God!"
The wind had picked up as the two continued their descent, making it difficult to hang on, but Bae did so. He looked at his passenger. "You okay, kid?"
"Uh-huh..we down yet?"
"Almost. Another minute!" he panted. Flames were licking the roof now, and the fire department was beginning to spray water on them.
"Spidergirl...I'm cold..."Missy murmured.
"I know. Just a little longer." Andi murmured. The wind was cutting through her dress like ice needles. She had almost reached the end of her cord.
"Rumple, their cords are too short..." Belle whispered.
"I know . . .But I can't . . .do anything . . ." he gasped, his face gray.
Bae dug his hand into the brick work, finding a handhold. "Ready, Wraith? Free climb two feet and we're done."
Normally he would have jumped the rest of the way, but not with a kid in his arms.
"Let's go, Fire!"
Bae released the cord and set his other hand into the opposite side. Luckily the bricks offered plenty of handholds. He found a protrusion with his foot and began to descend.
"C'mon Wraith and Fire!" Ewan and Bobby chanted.
"You can do it!" several other kids called out.
Andi smiled, despite her fear that the child in her arms would let go. You can do this . . .you've done it a zillion times . . . her foot found another toehold and then another, as she climbed down with the agility of a spider.
"They're going to make it Rumple," Belle sobbed, holding onto her exhausted husband to keep him steady. "They're going to make it.."
Bae's foot touched the ground. Then his other one. "We did it!"
Loud cheers went up in the crowd and the childrens' father ran over to them and higged them both. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"
"Daddy...we gots a ride with Spiderman and Spidergirl!" Missy said excitedly.
Her father hugged them and said, "That was the bravest thing I've ever seen!"
"Uh -huh. They're better heroes than the real Spiderman!" Timmy boasted.
Bae laughed. "Thanks, kid." For once his climbing skills had come in handy for more than just breaking and entering.
"Bae! Andi!"
His parents, his father leaning on Belle for support walked slowly toward them, both of them in tears.
"We're okay, Papa!" Bae said as he hugged them. "I've free climbed worse than that."
"Our brave boy..." Belle murmured.
"Yeah, easy peasy," Andi chuckled. "Like falling outta window." Then she hugged them also.
"You..you both about scared ten years off us..." Rumple coughed.
"We'll let you off with a warning...this time..." Belle said.
Several paramedics approached them for smoke inhalation. "I'm afraid we won't be able to do anything for your magical drain, Mr. Gold. You'll have to sleep to recover your energy."
"S'fine...I'll sleep...later."
Unable to fight his exhaustion any longer, he lay down on the blanket they were sitting on and dozed off.
A group of the teenagers hoisted Bae and Andi up, cheering.
"Fire and Wraith! Fire and Wraith, Bae and Andi!"
Emma and Jeff pulled up in Emma's squad car. They were out to dinner when she got a
call from the station alerting her to the fire at the school. She walked over to the fire crew and asked to speak to the officer in charge.
"Can you tell me what started this?" she asked.
"I can't say for sure until the investigator gets here but my gut's telling me this was no accident."
"Well whoever was responsible, they'd better have some thick padding on their asses because I'm throwing the book at them."
And there were dozens of angry parents ready to do more than just that.