Reality Bites

Disclaimer: Don't own anything apart from the plot, Danni and Meg

Chapter Thirteen – Two kinds of despair

Please, please say she hadn't done something unbelievable foolish like fallen in love with Christopher Perry Halliwell.

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could she possibly be so idiotic? To fall in love with someone who lived in another city, or even another country, would be hard enough, but to give your heart to someone from another reality? One who was definitely going back and would probably never think again of the person they had stayed with so briefly.

She swallowed hard. It didn't make any sense! They'd known each other less than a week, how could she possibly love him in such a short time? Sure, she always fell fast, she'd thought she'd loved Fergus after a month, but that had been a month, not a week! And anyway, look how that had turned out!

She mentally kicked herself. Then did it again. And a third time. But the rebuke still didn't change what both her heart and her head were telling her. She stared down at her mostly full plate, her appetite quickly biting the dust as she envisioned a long, dark future, alone and Christopher-less.

Wow, dramatic much honeybunch? Sheesh.

Never mind what a mental Danni might think, it was still true. She taken a chance on her ex and ended up broken, both emotionally and physically. She may not end up physically broken with Chris, but emotionally was a given. She didn't think she'd have the strength to open herself a third time.

"Meg?"

She looked up, at the very man who had sent her into a tailspin. Chris was frowning at her in concern.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing!" she forced out hurriedly, really not wanting him to know what she was thinking. "I'm fine! So how's the research going? Find anything more on the spell?"

The whitelighter's frown deepened at the blatant change of subject, but he didn't push. He instead grimaced and shared an irritated glance with Leo.

"No," he huffed. "We can't find a mention of it anywhere. The internet isn't helping at all. It's like it doesn't exist. We've looked through a few books I got from the library – borrowed your card by the way – but we need a more extensive source. What might help is if we went out to search through those Wiccan stores."

"I don't understand why I haven't heard of it," Leo said, the frustration in his tone very easy to read. "I'm an Elder, our knowledge is extremely vast!"

Meg snorted. "You do realize how egotistical you sounded right then, don't you?"

Chris shook his head when all Leo did was look puzzled.

"Welcome to my world," he deadpanned.

Meg chuckled and then took pity on the Elder, who still looked confused. She put her steadily going cold dinner on the coffee table and headed for the computer. With a couple of clicks, she had the author's profile up.

"Why don't we ask to see the book the spell came from?" she suggested. "Look, they live in the States. If they agree, it should be here in a few days."

"They'll just send a book that's probably a family heirloom clear across the country to a complete stranger?" Leo asked doubtfully.

"How do you know it's clear across the county?" Meg countered. "You never know, they could live in this very city. There's only one way to find out."

"You could try, I suppose, but the sisters would never do what you're asking. Their Book is theirs and doesn't leave the house."

"Well, they aren't here, are they? This is about you two, not them."

"And that's probably the first time Leo's ever heard someone say that," Chris smirked. Meg grinned and him and then quickly turned back to the screen as her heart squeezed painfully when he grinned back. Stupid freaking emotions.

She quickly opened up a private message and twiddled her fingers as she thought of what to say. While she did that, Leo and Chris broke down the spell for, by the sounds of it, about the tenth time.

"Let him come, and learn what must. What are you supposed to be learning?" Leo questioned.

"I asked exactly the same thing," Chris grumbled, attacking his chicken.

"And what about this: To defeat what needs, and complete the just. What are you defeating and what is a 'just?'"

"Asking that same questions over and over again isn't going to suddenly spark any answers," the whitelighter sighed.

"Yes, but it's obviously the important part of the spell. The first part is a basic summoning."

"If it was a basic summoning, Meg wouldn't have been able to make it work," Chris pointed out, using his fork for emphasis.

Leo frowned as he chewed. "That's true." He turned to the mortal.

"Are you absolutely positive you don't have a Wiccan heritage or magic buried somewhere in your past?"

Meg snorted at the keyboard.

"Trust me, that's just not possible. My family are devout Roman Catholics, have been for generations, and would never step away from that to study another religion, let alone a magical one. On top of that, my immediate family do not support the supernatural or anything related to it at all. It's dark and a temptation from the devil to them. I'm only one of a few who aren't following the rest of the family's footsteps."

"What about an ancestor?" the Elder suggested thoughtfully. "Your family's from Ireland originally, right?"

"It's where my parents grew up and I spent the first six years of my life," Meg answered with a nod, looking back over her shoulder.

"So you may have an Irish ancestor who was around when magic was an everyday thing in Ireland. It could be in your blood."

"I doubt it," Meg muttered.

"Can you speak Gaelic?" Chris asked curiously.

"No. When I said that my parents avoided the supernatural, I meant all types of it, Irish folklore included. My father would have had a cow if my mother so much as brought up the idea that I learn our native language," she said a little bitterly. "I did look at learning when I married Fergus, but he put a stop to that as well."

"You can always learn now," Leo said as Chris scowled. Meg sighed and stood back up.

"Email's sent. And yes, I could, I'd planned to, but I just haven't gotten round to it yet. It's amazing how much time everyday life takes up."

She blinked as she was suddenly overcome with a rush of tiredness, making her slightly dizzy. "Now if that's all boys, I think I might hit the hay again."

"You didn't finish your dinner," Chris protested.

Meg shrugged, the thought of eating on top of her distressing recent realizations making her stomach churn. "Not hungry anymore."

"But-"

"Let her go, Chris. She needs all the sleep she can get to heal as fast as possible."

Meg sent Leo a grateful look. She glanced at Chris to say goodnight, only to end up caught in his intense gaze. The shields were clearly nowhere in sight, a multitude of emotions swirling through the green. Meg swallowed as she read one of the most prominent ones. Chris was worried about her. Her Christopher was focusing on something besides his mission, a major feat in itself.

Her Christopher? He's not yours and he never will be! Get that thought out of your head right now, Megan O'Connor! It'll be bad enough when he leaves, don't make it any worse for yourself!

She sighed again and rubbed her eyes, breaking the hold his eyes had on her. Her heart was already splintering a little, just the thought of Chris leaving making it ache. She was doomed. Utterly doomed.

"Umm, right. Bed," she said in a small voice as she turned to the stairs. "Night all."

"Meg, wait!"

She halted and looked back over her shoulder again her will. Chris. She sighed. She just wanted to get away from him for a while. Give herself a chance to come to terms with what her heart was telling her, and to build up some defences. She was sure to crumble when he left if she didn't.

"Ah… Danni said she'd come over and check on you tomorrow."

Meg frowned. Okay. Well that was a little random. She'd already figured that out, her best friend would never have left her to fend for herself, even if she did have two houseguests to watch out for her. She'd worry too much if she did.

"Fine," she said quietly. "See you in the morning."

"Night, Meg," Leo called. Chris didn't say anything else, but Meg didn't mind. She would have a hard enough time sleeping anyway, his voice being the last thing she heard wouldn't have made it any easier.

~0~

Knocking. Irritating knocking. Meg turned in her bed and groaned, trying to make it go away. She'd slept fitfully, only really falling into a deeper sleep around three in the morning. No matter how hard she'd tried to make it, her brain just hadn't wanted to shut up. It had gone round and round on the Christopher issue, stressing her out and bringing her down, until tears had slipped past her guard. She hated herself for crying over a man again, but she just couldn't seem to help it.

The tears had helped a little though, emotionally exhausting her so that her brain had given in and she'd finally slept. Now, she didn't want to wake up. The knocking stopped and she settled back down with a sigh.

Only to start again two minutes later. Louder this time, until she could hear the door rattle with the pounding.

"Alright already! I'm coming! Christ!"

She couldn't help but smile at Chris's annoyed mutter. Her eyes still closed, she heard the door open, a questioning murmur and Chris's deeper answer. She frowned in confusion as the new voice got louder.

And angrier.

"MEGAN DORCHA MCNULTY!"

Meg shot up in bed. Dear God, no!

She scrambled out of bed and rushed up the stairs, not even bothering to change out of her pyjamas. She slammed to a stop at the top of the stairs, her gaze locked on the older couple who were standing in the doorway. The man was tall and heavyset, his thinning red hair combed back neatly, his blue eyes hard. The woman was harder to notice as she shadowed the man, her long brown hair parted severely down the middle and pulled back into a tight bun. She looked up briefly and Meg met eyes that would have been identical to hers if they hadn't been so timid. The mortal grimaced and looked back at the man who had woken the house up with his shouting.

"Daddy," she said weakly. "Umm, what are you doing here? And my last name is back to O'Connor now, you know that."

"Your husband's last name is McNulty, your last name is McNulty," Carrick O'Connor growled as he glared at his daughter.

"He's not my husband anymore, Daddy," Meg said with a frown.

The Irishman scoffed. "Marriage is for a lifetime, Megan. He will always be your husband, no matter how many tantrums you throw."

Meg sighed. This what she hated about her family, her father in particular. He was so close-minded. In his mind, his beliefs were the right beliefs and no one was allowed to disagree.

Her mother wasn't so bad when she was by herself. But she was very much an echo of her husband when they were together, supporting and following him to a degree that she lost her own personality. It infuriated Meg, who as a teenager had begged her mother to get a life away from Carrick. Her mother hadn't listened. She could be as stubborn as her husband when she wanted to be, and she loved Carrick to a degree that was scarily obsessive.

Meg looked at her again and smile. "Hello, Ma."

"Meg," Fiona O'Connor said softly.

"Her name is Megan, woman, call her that!" her husband snapped.

"Of course, Carrick," Fiona murmured, shrinking back. Meg scowled in annoyance.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated.

"Can't a man come see his daughter with being interrogated?" Carrick bulleted out, his anger palatable. Meg opened her mouth to snap back when Leo cleared his throat.

"Oh, sorry. Guys, this is my mother and father, Carrick and Fiona O'Connor. Ma, Daddy, this is Leo Wyatt and Chris Perry-"

She stopped and her eyes widened as she noticed for the first time what her resident whitelighter was wearing. All he had on was a white singlet and a pair of tight, black boxers. Meg swallowed as she took notice of exactly how tight the boxers were. She looked away quickly as her face heated, a fire of another kind swimming through her blood to pool somewhere in the vicinity of her womb.

Oh, my, my, my…

"Maybe you better get dressed, Chris," Leo suggested, a hint of humour in his tone.

"Shit," the whitelighter muttered, quickly heading over to the first couch-

First couch? Where the hell did the second one come from?

-and picking up his pants, slipping them on. Meg took a deep breath, trying to slow her racing heart. He was mainly covered now, but that still didn't make him any less sexy. She frowned as her gaze ran over him. Since when were bare feet hot?

"Why are they here, Megan?" Carrick demanded. Meg's brows drew down at his rudeness.

"They're friends who needed a place to stay for a while," she said, not at all worried about lying to him. She'd done it all the time as a teenager, her rebellious side very prominent back then.

"Friends," her father sneered and Meg stiffened at the implication behind the word. She sensed both Chris and Leo still as well. "What does Fergus have to say about this?"

"He has nothing to say about this, as he isn't a part of my life anymore… hold on. Why did you think he might have an opinion?"

She looked at her mother as the pieces began to click together, her suspicions from the hospital coming back rapidly.

"Ma?" she whispered, appalled. Her mother had been the only person she'd told where she was going when she'd left. "Please tell me you didn't."

"She told me where you were, as she should, and I told Fergus!" Carrick shot out, making Meg go cold. "He's your husband; you had no right to keep your whereabouts from him! You shouldn't have left in the first place!"

"Shouldn't have left in the first place?" Meg echoed in disbelief. "He hit me, Daddy! Can you not see the bandage on my cheek? I got this because you informed my abusive husband where I was!"

"Ex-husband," Chris said and Meg smiled at him. Aside from a glare from her father, her parents ignored him.

"Then you need to try harder to keep him happy!" Carrick growled. "Your mother manages to do it; you should live up to her example!"

"You don't hit her though, do you?" Meg scorned. She sucked in a sharp breath when something in Fiona's eyes flickered.

"Oh, Ma, no," she whispered as guilt flooded her. How could she not have known? She'd spent twenty years of her life with this couple, and she hadn't noticed any violence?

At least now she knew why her father had hand-picked Fergus for her. They were birds of a feather, two peas in a pod.

It was horrifying.

"Enough!" Carrick spat, his face reddening with rage. "A man's marriage isn't anyone else's business but his own! What goes on in it is private and not for the world to hear about!"

He advanced on his daughter, making Chris surge forward as well, Leo just a step or two behind him. Meg waved them back. She wasn't afraid of him, never had been. He'd shouted and disapproved and made her feel like a piece of trash most of her life, but he'd never been physical with her.

"And you go and advertise to the world what was yours and Fergus's business, running from him and shaming your family?! Disgusting! Then you shack up with two strange men like some common whore-"

"HEY! Watch your mouth!" Chris snarled, rushing forward again to stand beside Meg, leaning towards her father furiously.

"I am not a whore!" Meg snarled, angrier then she'd been in a long while. Unpleasant memories were trying to take over her mind, but she didn't back down. She had a temper, inherited from the man standing in front of her, and it was time to stop being scared to let it out.

"You have disapproved of me all my life, which has hurt me time and time again! I tried being who you want me to be, I even went along with you setting me up with Fergus to try and please you, and because of that I ended up in the hospital more times than I can count! I left him because I got sick of being used as a punching bag, and then you come into my home, ranting and raging, pushing your beliefs and opinions on me and insulting my friends! I have left Fergus and I'm not going back. Ever! If you can't find it in your heart to support that decision, well maybe you shouldn't be a part of my life anymore!"

Carrick's mouth fell open as Meg breathed heavily, her outburst making her blood pound in her ears. She glared at her father disdainfully, who had recovered and now had a sneer on his face.

"Fine! I don't want someone like you in my family! From now on, I don't have a daughter! Come, Fiona, we're leaving!" he hissed. He turned and stalked out the door, not even once looking back at the daughter he'd just disowned.

Meg took a deep breath and looked at her mother, who was standing glued to the spot, wide-eyed.

"You don't have to go with him, Ma," she said softly. A hopeless expression appeared in the hazel eyes that mother and daughter shared.

"Yes, I do," she whispered. Meg swallowed, the tears that her father's words had produced starting to slip down her cheeks.

"Oh, Ma," she whispered, her voice breaking. She leaned into Chris when he touched her shoulder.

"FIONA!"

Fiona O'Connor jumped and sighed, turning towards the door. She stopped just before walking through and turned back to Meg.

"I'm proud of you, my daughter," she murmured, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Meg moaned and turned into Chris, burying her face against his chest. Her shoulders shook as she cried. Chris ran his hand down her hair.

"She will always take you in if you ever wa-need it," he told the older woman quietly.

"I know," Fiona said in a defeated voice. "Take care of her, please."

Chris murmured an affirmative and Meg cried harder, knowing that he wouldn't. He wouldn't be around to take care of her.

He was going home.

She heard her mother sigh again and then the sound of her heels meeting concrete as she walked away, following the man she loved beyond anything else. Meg choked and sobbed, clutching Chris tightly as her chest burned. She'd always thought her mother frustrating and exasperating, and they had never been very close because of Fiona's attitude. Her telling Carrick where their daughter was, was a perfect example of why Meg only contacted her when obligation made her. But now that Meg realized that this would probably be the last time she'd ever see her mother, her despair was proving that she really did love the woman who had given birth to her, with all her heart. It hurt, a lot, that the other woman was choosing an abusive husband over a daughter who loved her.

"Shhh, it's okay, sweetheart," Chris muttered against her hair as he hugged her. Meg took the comfort, knowing that would probably be the only time she'd be able to be in his arms.

"Meg? What's wrong?"

The mortal reluctantly pulled away from Chris and looked at her best friend as Danni stepped through the door, a worried look on her face. She sent her a wobbly smile and sniffed, wiping her cheeks.

"Hey."

Danni put her hands on her hips and glared at Chris and Leo, who was staring at Chris, something dawning in his expression. Chris ignored him, his gaze on Meg as his host tried to pull herself together.

"Okay, somebody better explain to me who the freaking hell hurt my bestie and made her cry, or so help me, I won't be responsible for my actions!"

Guest reply (Kirsty) - That's okay, I've been forgetting to reply to your reviews anyway lol. Thanks, I felt Danni would have something to say to Chris about Meg. She's too much of a good friend not to. And your right, I know where this is going to end, not sure if you'd call it a solution though... Okay enough teasing! :D Thanks for reviewing!

That goes for everyone else, for following, favouriting and, of course, for reading in the first place! Love you all!