She did that sweet dream again. She was against him, lying in the tall grass behind their home under construction. The sun caressed their bare skin, the gentle breeze swirled the grass around her, she saw by the time a cloud passed over her and she immediately closed her eyes again in a moan of pleasure, feeling the tongue, the lips of her husband touch her skin again.
-Mmmh William, she sighed, biting her lip to keep her from screaming his name louder.
She felt the hot breath of her husband travel from her thighs to her privacy, then her belly, between her breasts, and finally in her neck.
-I'm here my love, he whispered huskily in her ear while pressing his body against hers.
She trembled for a moment, feeling the virility of her husband, hard, straight and long against her stomach as he put his hands on her hips and her teeth bit tenderly the thin skin below her ear. She lost feet, it was too much, she was ready, ready to give themselves totally to him, ready to feel him sink in her, ever deeper. She spread her legs a little more to place them on the hips of William, to hold him prisoner against her, massaging his scalp.
-I beg you, she murmured, rubbing her pubis against the member of her husband, please William.
He let out a low growl of contentment and his hand left hip of his wife. She bit her lip again, knowing what was going to happen a few seconds later. She felt him caress her hot wet entrance, she arched and in the same movement, he slipped into her. Julia dug her nails into the back of William moaning again, feeling him sinking of his length. Until that moment, the moment his testicles touched her buttocks. She felt the weight of William against her a moment before she turns her head gently, before she meets his eyes. He tenderly stroked her forehead, he smiled. Julia did the same, finally feeling full, happy. She kept his staring into hers for a long moment before kissing. Slowly, William moved over her, so close that his body caressed totally hers as he entered in her again and again for several minutes.
Julia turned in bed in a contented groan. Her arm fell on the mattress, in this place where she expected to feel the body of her husband. But all too quickly the events of the day before came back to him. Her heart broke in her chest. The dream was even more painful than she had thought. Slowly, she opened her eyes. She grew accustomed to the low light. The room was empty, she was alone in this cold bed. Yet she could smell the scent of William on the pillow on which she had placed her head. Julia then closed her eyes. She did not understand. She couldn't tell herself that William had done this for their own good. She could understand that he needed time to rebuild, but she always thought she was the one who could help, support, love. She did not understand why he still wanted to prevent them from being happy. She loved him with all her heart, she would have given her life ,without hesitation, for him. But she could not do more than what she did every day. Constantly repeating to him how important he was for her, whispering that she loved him, show him every day that she held him. Julia didn't knew she had done wrong, what was her mistake. There are signs that can be interpreted in different ways. She thought she had done all that was needed, of how she had to. Yet she doubted. Maybe he was right, may be they were not made to be happy together. Maybe they don't deserved it . Maybe fate liked to play this game with them. But deep in herself, she knew how much she loved William, he was the only one that mattered in this world. She did not know if they were meant to be together, but she knew they were soul mates. She missed him terribly. She felt the sharp blade pierced her chest, her breath failed, her heart pounding in her chest. William was not there, and she did not know when he would take her in his arms again. Without her noticing the tears streaming down her cheeks. Julia stood up and rage took her. She did not know why she was angry, but she could not prevent it. She had a feeling of hate. She hated him for having broken her heart, to leave her in such a state of lack and distress. She then grabbed the pillow of William and threw it violently on the other side of the room. On its way, he knocked a vase filled with flowers that fell on the floor.
"One rose a day for two years. One rose a day since our marriage. And there are ten bouquets. Ten bouquets Julia... I've known you for ten years "
William's words echoed in her mind. She could not stop thinking about last night, that night so magical they had shared the same bed. She could still feel his breath, his kisses and caresses on her entire body. "How can things change so fast?"
Julia sighed deeply. She had no answers. And that was what make the most angry. Not knowing. Not understand. Why? This word was turning loop in her mind. Simply " Why do you reject me? Why do you refuse to face the truth? Why do you can not accept what is happening between us? Why?"
Unable to sleep because of the pain in her arm and her heavy thoughts, Julia left the bed. She wore her robe and she went to her desk. She took a sheet and a pen and began to write simply. She needed to put into words what she was feeling, all this trouble, this misunderstanding, this rage, this love she felt for him and she wanted to tell him. Then she wrote this letter she will never give him and that she will add to many others, that she kept hidden in a secret drawer of her desk.
It was with one arm in a sling and more makeup than usual that Dr. Ogden arrived at the police station the next morning. She made her way to the office of her husband, taking a deep breath before walking towards the door. But a brief look inside, informed her that William was not there. Yet it was almost ten o'clock, and her husband was never late. Her heart pounded in her chest, she prayed that nothing happened to him.
She turned around to find herself face to Inspector Brakenreid.
-Doctor Ogden, how are you? He threw before she had time to speak. Is your arm better?
-Well, I ... I can do my job properly.
-Good, but if you need to rest, you can make your day.
-It will be alright Sir.
His friend nodded and they were silent for a few moments before the young woman takes a deep breath and spoke again.
-Have you seen William this morning?
-Of course, as always, at eight. And I granted him some days off , he took some business, Crabtree brought him other and he will take his office during this time.
Julia frowned, a detail that did not escape his superior, who spoke again.
-He did not tell you, is not it?
-We do not talk much anymore, Julia confessed in a whisper before lowering her gaze to the ground.
-Marriage, Thomas replied, shrugging his shoulders. Murdoch asked to leave the station temporarily, at first, he says he wants to focus on the construction of the house, but also to have time to heal. He admitted to not have a place here, and it was not altogether wrong, you know it as well as me.
-Unfortunately yes, Julia sighed, he believes no longer have a place with me either.
-Give him time. He can't live without you indefinitely.
Julia did not reply. She no longer had the strength to believe what her friend was saying. She no longer had the strength to keep hope, all she wanted was to rush to their house and throw themselves into the arms of William. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare and find that she was with him, he's staring into hers while tenderly stroking her back. She wanted to see him, talk to him, enjoying every second with him.
-We have a body on Dundas / Yonge, said Inspector Brakenreid, nothing like work to forget. Do not worry, everything will work out.
Julia nodded and without a word, she left the scene to go to the morgue. She took out her purse and she saw the bouquet of roses that was still on her desk. Really, everything reminded her William. It would take her a lot of will and courage to forget, if only for a few hours. Forget to not suffer, forget to continue to love him.
That night, she had wanted to go see him, go reassurance that he goes well. But at the moment to give the address to the driver, Julia pulled herself together. He does not want to see you, it is too early. Give him time; let him come back to you when he is ready. She sighed deeply and gave the address of the hotel. Once there, she got rid of her things in the entrance. She saw that it lacked books, objects, clothes. She found a purple flower simply placed on her pillow. William had come, discreetly. He had take some business and he filed this flower. Perhaps all wasn't lost, she thought, he may be still loved me a little. Once again destabilized by the attitude of her husband, Julia sighed deeply by visiting the bathroom. She undressed and she just looked at her naked body in the mirror a few moments. Red marks marked out her body, much less painful than the injury, they were proof that William had tenderly and passionately loved her. She stroked the fingertip which was between her breasts. Then she walked to the bath and she slipped into the hot water. She closed her eyes, trying to relax a few minutes until the water cools and she left the bathroom to get in the bedroom and go to bed without even bothering to eat anything . She hugged William's pillow, squeezing with all her strength against it, as if to convince his presence at her side, as if to remember the sensation she felt at being in his arms, then she fell asleep, simply.
to be continued...