Lights and Sounds
Chapter Thirteen: Keep Looking Up
Babblings: This story is not quite finished. I still need to tie up some loose ends. This chapter mostly just dwells on Kei and Sakura. After the sappiness of chapter twelve, be prepared for a bit more angst in his one. Yes, I know the lemon in the last chapter is more graphic than any I've done for this series thus far. Maybe I will (if you guys want) write a one-shot lemon just for Sasuke and Naruto as an epilogue of sorts, because you guys have stuck with this story for so long. Tell me what you think.
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Keep looking up, on past the birds. Keep looking up past the clouds and when you reach up and clear away the stars, I will be there were you are. I will be there where you are.
-Landon Pigg "Keep Looking Up"
What does it mean to be happy? People are always talking about "the pursuit of happiness", but what does that really mean? Does it mean that you will spend your entire life pursuing happiness but never obtaining it? I know from personal experience that the world is a cruel place, but surely some people can possess true happiness and not just the faked kind behind which we hide our true anguish. True happiness is all I wish for Kei.
In spite of our newfound love for "making love", something was still off. Something still bothered him, and, because of my empathetic ways, it in turn bothered me. I knew it had to do with his parents. After our first run-in with Sakura, we'd only seen her as many times as I could count on one hand, which resulted in very awkward situations. They just needed to talk, but both of them were too stubborn to be the first to strike up conversation.
It was the week before Spring Break when I ran into Gaara-san and Sakura going at it again. I had just finished my last lesson of the day (Haruhi's personality had finally calmed down a bit) and was walking past Gaara-san's office, because it was the shortest route back to the dorms. His door was open carelessly, but neither of them seemed to notice.
"He's not happy," said Sakura, her voice tense. "How did you raise him? Knowing you, he probably didn't have a happy childhood. It's a wonder he turned out as well as he did."
I slowed down and stood beside the door. I knew it really wasn't any of my business, but my curiosity got the better of me. I could see a slow sneer come across his tanned features. "Well maybe if you hadn't just dumped him on me then you could have done a better job at raising him." She started a retort, but it stuck in her throat, coming out as more of a choking sound. "Besides," he continued, "that stupid boy, Destin, has changed him. Made him happier."
"Destin is not stupid," she said, rigidly. "He is brilliant and caring and loving. Exactly what Kei needs. Everything you are not. When I first met you, you were all of those things. That's why I fell in love with you. You are the one who has changed, Gaara. Just think about it." Then she turned and stormed out of his office–
–straight into me.
Both of us fell on the floor and Sakura let out a squeak. "Destin!"
"Aunt Sakura," I replied, bringing myself back to my feet and brushing the dirt off my white uniform. "You need to talk with Kei," I pleaded, grabbing her hand and helping her up. "Please, I can only do so much."
She shook her head, leaning back against the wall, closing her eyes. "He hates me."
"He doesn't hate you. He hates that you left him, but he doesn't hate you." After a long moment of silence, I said, "Come home over Spring Break. You can talk then. Please, he needs to talk with you." Ever since my little run-in with Sakura and Gaara-san at the end of my freshman year, Sakura and Ino have avoiding coming home; probably just to avoid the awkwardness of it all. And I'm pretty sure Sakura still hadn't talked with Katherine, which wasn't at all fair to her. Kei had pretty much been welcomed into our family and Katherine treated him as a grandson, which he was. Aurora and Rainey loved him, as did Kira. And my parents were just happy I was happy. There was that word again: happy. "Katherine needs to talk with you, too."
"You told her everything, didn't you?"
I nodded. "Of course. She wanted to hear it from you though."
At long last, Sakura agreed to visit over Spring Break. I thanked her, giving her a big hug before running off to my dorm. I decided it would be best not to tell Kei. He'd know soon enough.
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Kei and I walked through the elaborate front door to our new house. Well, my family had been living in it for over a year now, but we'd only stayed in it once before. It wasn't home. It just didn't have the same feel to it as our old house did. There was so much love woven into the walls of the other house. I've come to realize that I just don't deal well with change.
We were greeted by Aurora and Rainey, who were still getting used to walking, stumbling over and latching onto our legs. We shared a laugh and each picked up one of my siblings. Daddy stumbled into the room a moment later, clutching his chest in an attempt to regain his breath. He smiled upon seeing us. "There you are. Dinner's nearly ready. I see you've found our trouble-makers." He wrapped me in a hug, then pulled back, an eyebrow raised. "Something's different."
Kei and I exchanged a look and then a giggle. "I'll tell you later." There definitely was something different, but he didn't need to know what it was at the moment. All that mattered was that I hadn't had a nightmare ever since Kei and I… I blushed. Daddy gave me a look that said "You'd better tell me later."
We were just cleaning up the dishes after dinner when the doorbell rang. I quickly ran to answer it, thinking it to be Sakura and Ino. Instead Iruka-san and Kakashi-sensei greeted me. "Hey Destin," said Iruka. "Your Daddy invited us. I hope you don't mind."
"Nope," I replied, grinning. "I love it when you guys show up." Kakashi-sensei rolled his eyes, presumably thinking we were too sappy for his taste.
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"So what's different?" asked Daddy when we were by ourselves in the kitchen, finishing the cleanup, everyone else in the living room, playing with Aurora and Rainey.
My brow furrowed as I debated how much I should tell him. I decided on the truth. "I'm completely cured. I've moved past everything that happened to me."
Daddy appeared to be momentarily stunned. When he recovered, he asked, "How?" I blushed again, so much so that I didn't even have to answer: Daddy knew. "Y-you had s-s-sex?" he stuttered
"Yeah." My voice was surprisingly calm. "But I'm not that much younger than you were, Daddy. And thanks to that, I've been able to forget, or at least push aside, everything that man did to me, because now I know what it's like to have sex with someone I love."
After a couple long seconds, he finally said, "I'm happy." Then a thought occurred to him – the same thought which I had spent so much time pondering over: "What if you get pregnant? I don't know if that will get passed onto you…"
"I'll be fine," I said. "We use protection. I don't want to… have children at my age. I'm too young."
"And you have far too much potential to be a parent now." He was referring to my piano-playing. I wasn't sure though what I wanted to do with my life. I knew everyone expected me to go on and become a world-renowned musician like Dad, but I didn't know if I wanted to do that. On the other hand, I didn't want to end up like my parents, as much as I love them, just sitting around the house, raising children.
The future is so blurry.
"Do I have to put you two in separate beds tonight?" he asked.
"No," I replied. "You wouldn't be able to keep me away from him even if you tried."
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Sakura and Ino showed up the next day. When Kei made eye-contact with his mother, I found myself thankful that looks can't kill, because I'm sure Kei could have killed Sakura five times over.
"Kei," she said, stepping forward and placing her hand on his arm in a loving manner. "We need to talk." I saw her look over her son's shoulder to glance at Katherine. After a moment in which I'm sure they shared thoughts, Katherine nodded.
Kei allowed himself to be dragged out the front door and into the garden. I followed silently behind, just out of sight, but not out of hearing range – in case I was needed. I leaned my back against the wall of the house and kept my ears open. Even though I knew Kei would tell me later what happened between them, I couldn't help but be curious.
Neither of them said anything for a long time. I could sense the awkwardness of the situation. Then I heard Kei: "Why did you up and leave me with him?" There was a hint of bitterness and resentment in his voice – not that I could blame him. He had every right to feel that way.
"Oh, Kei, I was so young. Your father hurt me so badly I felt as though I had no other option but to leave." She was crying, not all out weeping, but there were tears.
"But then why couldn't you have taken me with you? I've hated every moment I ever spent with that man."
"I didn't feel as though I were emotionally ready to handle a child."
"But you thought dad was?" Kei nearly shrieked.
"I guess I just wasn't really thinking at all."
There was silence for a long time and then came the rather disconcerting sound of both of them crying. I hated hearing Kei cry and I had to fight to keep myself sitting. This was one time when I couldn't comfort Kei. It had to be Sakura. I slipped back into the house, ignoring the pain in my heart.
Kei and Sakura walked back in a few minutes later saying that they were going to go out and wouldn't be back until later. They exchanged a smile. I felt happy for them. Kei made sure to give me a hug and a kiss before they left.
I guess now we were all just one big, happy family.
"Are you okay?" asked Katherine, coming up beside me and placing her arm around my shoulders.
I nodded. "I'm more than okay. I mean, I guess I'm both happy and sad that Kei won't just have to rely on me anymore."
"He'll always rely on you, Destin," she said, a smile on her wizened face. "That's how it is with true love. Look at your parents: even after so man years together, they still reply on each other and they still love each other." I glanced to where my parents sat, playing patty-cake with the twins. All of them had huge grins on their faces, their love for one another almost visible, as always. In a way, I was jealous of them. When I was their age, I didn't have both of my parents. "Do you want children, Destin?"
I looked up at her, surprised. "I guess… just not now. Maybe not ever. I'm not so sure I'll make a good parent. I'm too… unstable and… out there. My mind just isn't like everyone else's."
"If anything, that means that you'll make a better parent than most, because you'll give you're children another way of looking at world. They won't become clones, like most other children out there."
"You think so?" I asked, my eyes watering up against my will. I quickly wiped the tears away. "I do want children. I guess in some ways, I really want that gene that Daddy has. But I'm just so scared. About everything. Nothing is clear to me anymore."
"Well hopefully," she said, pulling me tight against her in a hug, "you won't have to think about it for at least several more years."
"Yeah, I definitely don't want to think about it at least until after I graduate."
She looked my straight into the eyes and then she did something I've never seen her do before: she started crying. I'd never seen her cry before. But she wasn't crying because she was sad, rather the other way around: she was happy. "You've grown up so fast. I can't believe it's already been seventeen years since your Daddy and I met on the bus coming here." Looking back, it had been a long seventeen years. But it was all worth it, every single painful minute of it, because it gave me Dad and Kira and Rainey and Aurora and Katherine and Kei and I wouldn't trade any of them even if someone offered me the world.
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It was dark outside when Sakura and Kei walked up the steps to the house. I could see them coming through the large window where I sat, staring out at the falling rain. They were laughing and when they came inside they dripped water everywhere. I didn't move from my place in the dark, content just to listen to their happy voices. I was surprised they'd connected so easily. Then again… they'd both needed each other.
I leaned back in the rocking chair, the one from our old house, and pulled my blanket up to my nose, inhaling the rich, ancient smell. Apparently, this had been my favorite blanket when I was a little boy. Daddy laid it on my bed before we'd arrived the day before. He'd run across it when they packed up my things to move. I loved objects like this; they were memories in and of themselves.
"Des?" Kei's melodic voice sounded in my ears. I forced my eyes up. "What are you doing?"
"Listening," I replied honestly. He laughed and picked me up, sitting down in the rocking chair and placing me in his lap. I curled up into his arms. "What did you guys do?" I inquired.
He let out a long, happy sigh. "We just went to dinner and then to the pool hall and we talked. A lot. It's weird, because I just assumed for such a long time that I didn't have a mother or if I did she was a completely horrible person. But she's not. She's really nice. Thank you, Destin."
"I didn't do anything," I said.
"Yes, you did. She said you were the one who urged her to talk with me."
Kei kissed me then and, right when it was beginning to get rather passionate, Dad walked in. He raised an eyebrow and then laughed. "If you are going to do that, at least go somewhere where no one can walk in on you."
"Oh come on," I teased, "it's not like I've never seen you and Daddy doing things together."
He just rolled his eyes, unfazed, and walked away, calling out, "I mean it!"
Kei smirked at me and then grabbed my hand, dragging me up the stairs to my bedroom, barely managing to keep his hands to himself.
Yes, I was definitely going to have a fun night.
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Babblings: Well there you have it. There are only going to be two chapters more and then an epilogue or one-shot sequel of sorts. Please review. I know you want to.