Godai-sensei: Romance Professor
"Now that names are decided, we must purchase the cage for our baby!" Neuro happily declared.
"Please don't start the chapter with such horrible sentences," Yako sighed. "Besides, we still need to bond before then. Get to know what each of us like and what we want to do."
"I heard there is a great love hotel down the street," Neuro pointed, unfolding a large map out of his vest.
"Love hotel? I don't think so," Yako rejected. "These legs of mine aren't some door and you sure enough don't have a key for it."
"A dumpster then?" he asked.
"It's not about taste, though I still don't approve of a dumpster. Come on, it's time we get to the romance," Yako whined. "All that warm, sentimental bonding and attachment. Do you demons even have that?"
"I see, so be it," Neuro said, clapping the map shut. "You're right. I've been too focused on the baby. It's about time we start the romance."
"You weren't thinking of the baby at all! You were looking for directions to a love hotel!" Yako fussed. "But, if you promise to be a gentleman on the date…we'll see how far you can go. Wait! No! I'm not giving you an opening! Wait…that came out wrong. I'm not weakening to your will! Eww….that kind of sounds perverted too…look what you did!! My mind is warped beyond comprehension!"
"Maybe humans are naturally perverted and lustful," Neuro suggested. "I swear to take you out on a pleasant night tomorrow evening. In fact, it will be to die for."
"Thank you Neu….wait….to die for? I swear…putting that aside, how about walking me home?" Yako smiled. Neuro didn't answer; he simply walked beside her and smiled. This would do for now, Yako was too excited over the possibility of an actual romantic date with the demon next to her.
She could only wonder where he was going to take her. Hopefully he learned enough about the human world to know where to take her and how to act. Standing in front of her house, the two of them looked at each other.
"See you tomorrow," Yako said. "Oh, what time are you picking me up?"
"How about 2?" he asked. "Then we could go see the Devil's Birth play down in Hell Sector 6."
"No going to Hell," Yako said. "Sorry, but that's not my idea of romance."
"Picky aren't we? I'll go pick some places then," he grinned, almost maniacally. Yako was beginning to get scared.
"I just need to believe in him is all…" she muttered. "But…why am I shaking in fear? I'm too young and innocent to go to Hell…"
"I don't know a single place or activity humans like to do on dates," Neuro muttered to himself as he walked down the street. He then saw Godai coming towards him.
"Ah, slave!" Neuro called innocently.
"What the hell you want bitch?"
"Now that's no way to greet the one that can turn you inside out," Neuro playfully said. "The missus and I are going on a date tomorrow. You need to help."
"Help how?"
"Suggest places to go," Neuro said.
"What the hell?! I aint no date assistant!!"
"But you are odd jobs man just like Gintama," Neuro said. "Now suggest or Yako shall enjoy eating your thighs for our dinner tomorrow."
"Fine! Fine! Get that fork out of my nose!" Godai fussed. "Okay, okay. Let's see….Yako's a stinking pig so take her to a buffet."
"Did I tell you to tell me the obvious? I need specific places shit brain," Neuro remarked.
"Hey! Don't' call me that crap so casually! Fine, find a fancy restaurant, I know she'll like that," Godai advised. "Something high class."
"Like something you could never afford? What would that be, the dollar menu from McDonald's?" Neuro asked.
"Damnit stop!!" Godai screamed. "Anyways…before you even think of doing that…you gotta have some fun with her like some kind of activity. Yeah, start the date with something fun and exciting."
"I was going to take her to Hell but she didn't approve of that. What do you humans do for fun up here?" Neuro asked.
"You were seriously going to take a girl to Hell for a romantic date? Well…when I was a teenager…heh heh," Godai grinned, his cheeks burning in the sweet memories. "I took a girl ice skating once. We went to the movies and danced at a club."
"Stop telling me about your days as a hairless, horny monkey. A club, movies, and ice skating huh?" Neuro muttered. "Well, the ice has barely hardened but I suppose the other ideas sound fine."
"Hey, could I come along when you go to the club? I can't wait to see you dance!" Godai chuckled.
"I'm not bringing you simply so you have a reason to wear your five dollar shirt," Neuro remarked, turning around and leaving him behind.
"Heh. People don't know I'm a romantic," Godai smiled. "There should be a fanfic with me and Yako together."
"That's sick," Neuro said.
"Don't come back just to insult people!!"
"Ah, Sai, what are you doing here?" Neuro asked.
"Just shopping at this antique store," Sai explained, looking at the various vases. "Nothing here is valuable. That vase over there has a dead bird inside."
"I better grab it so my slaves have something to eat tonight," Neuro said. "Have you ever been on a date Sai?"
"That's a little out of character for you," Sai said. "I mean, the fans might not like that. It makes you seem slightly inadequate and ignorant, completely opposite of your normal character."
"It seems anything this fanfic does leads to violent reviews threatening to gouge our eyes out," Neuro said. "I'm not kidding either. Check the reviews. Someone threaten to gouge our eyes out and stuff them down our throat. They even misspelled gouge."
"Why would anyone get so excited over a crappy fanfic like this?" Sai asked. "But as for your question, I have been on a date."
"With who?"
"I'm not telling. Let the fans guess. But I assume you need advice on human traditions for dating right?" Sai asked, looking inside an emerald jar. "I would recommend something no cliché. No ice skating or movies. Here, follow me. I'll show you all the great places to go."
"I see, so we're going to end the chapter here? Letting the poor readers anticipate what will happen next chapter?" Neuro asked.
"Indeed, that's how it works," Sai smiled.