Alright-y…this is weirdly formatted, so bear with me here. The upcoming italics is not a dream sequence, it's an actual conversation between people who will be revealed by the end of the chapter (even though you'll probably be able to guess who it is)…Thanks for reading!
Our hovercraft touches down on a blackened field. I fight against the flashbacks ripping through my head and glance down at the letter sitting in my hands. A letter. The most out-dated form of communication out there. The words, hand printed, stare up at me, each one like a slap in the face.
A hand gently touches my shoulder. I lean against it, taking comfort in the feel of it against me. I take a deep breath and step onto the burnt grass.
The base is crawling with people, covered in an irremovable layer of ash and sadness. They stare at us as we pass by. Their eyes bore into me, each gaze sitting heavily on my skin and weighing me down. I give a small nod as I pass by, keeping my eyes trained forward, even though I want nothing more than to yell at them; look somewhere else, I'm not who they think I am, I shouldn't be here.
There are two buildings left standing. One of them houses General Amatore's office (Amatore being the one who sent me the letter) and half of the population of the base. He said that the quarter's are cramped and the morale is low. Once again, I try to remember why I agreed to come here.
I pause at the doorway of the main building, knowing I don't want to reenter this world of war and violence. A warm hand gently touches the back of mine. I give him a weak smile then grab his hand and grip onto it like a lifeline.
"Now or never," I say softly. I step through the doorway and walk into the crowded hall. Every eye is immediately trained on me. My heart pounds in my chest; I can feel the blood as it surges through my veins, lending me generous amounts of adrenaline. I push my feelings aside and stride forward.
"Can you bring us to General Riemet Amatore?" I ask a soldier. He nods, his cheeks flushed, and leads us to a door at the end of the hall. He quickly hurries away, flashing glances over his shoulder as he goes. I knock softly on the door, hoping that's he's not here, that I can go home and forget this ever happened. The door opens and a man with a weathered face appears in the doorway.
"You're here," he says. Surprise is written all over his face, but he tries to hide it. I don't blame him. I didn't think I'd show up. "Come in, come in." I drop the hand holding mine and follow the General through the doorway. "We have a lot to discuss." I take a seat across from him and cross my arms over my stomach in an attempt to hold myself together. "As you know, the base has been nearly completely destroyed."
"Do we know who did it?" the boy asks.
"We're working on that. We have some theories which will be covered in your debriefing session with the higher officers tomorrow evening. For now, I've asked one of the soldiers to show you around the base…or at least what's left of it." His weathered face suddenly looks older. "We thought the troops would positively respond to a strong figure at —"
"Strong?" I ask him. "Please tell me you're not referring to either one of us. Not anymore at least. No offense," I say to the boy next to me as I grab his hand.
"None taken," the boy says, flashing me a sad smile. The General looks between us as if he's trying to figure us out. He looks surprised, like he thought we were still the powerful leaders we were before. He clears his throat and meets my eye.
"The troops don't know anything except that you saved Pa—"
"I saved nothing," I cut in. "I destroyed. I killed." Amatore leans back in his seat, probably thinking about what to do with me. He probably wants to send us home. Part of me, the part that longs for my family and peace, wants him to. The other part, the stronger part that was so badly damaged in the war, wants to help; wants to fight. So I put the cards in his hands; "Haven't you hurt us enough?" I ask. The boys hand tightens around mine. Amatore's eyes flash quickly to my face, then away.
"I apologize for the mistakes that were made, but the NUO isn't the rebel army. We have rules now that weren't in place during the war." He shifts uncomfortably in his chair; he knows what he did and he's ashamed of it. "We're a new organization and we're about to fall apart because of a renegade group. Just look out the window. They've hurt us badly. Do you want to let them destroy us completely?" He sounds broken, like he was already tired and breaking before the bombs fell and destroyed everything he had worked for.I can almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
"We don't know who these people are and what they plan to gain by attacking the base and killing people." Anger burns fast and furious in his eyes until he checks himself and sits back down in his chair. "It's like we're fighting shadows," he says, his voice calmer. "We think we know who they are and we try to get back at them, but they change shape and disappear. We can't fight them. We need help." He leans back in his chair and meets my eye.
"I don't know how much I can do," I say honestly. "I don't know if I can do anything at all."
"Being here is enough." My mind runs in wild circles, carefully considering the options lain before me. Stay or leave. Fight or surrender. Help them or watch them die.
"I'll stay if you think it will help," I say, wondering if I just made a mistake. The General leans back and looks more relaxed.
"There's one more thing. Hawthorne. He's not going to be very happy that you're here…"
Gale's P.O.V
After the initial shock wore off, we all moved into the last remaining buildings. Those who wanted to were told they could live in fallout shelter, but, understandably, all but a dozen people refused the offer. While we're rebuilding the base, I'm living in a 15 by 20 room with Abbott and another Commander. We should have more with us, but almost fifty people died in the bombing.
Including two of my cadets. Jordie Skimmer and Zevik Cagney. Another case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. My other cadets were surprised that I knew their names. I was in charge of sending their belongings back to their families. I couldn't leave it that though. I made sure their remains were sent back in the best caskets we could find. I found a picture of each of them in their uniform and I sent it to their families along with a letter written by yours truly talking about how bravely they fought and how much they'll be missed.
I also sent each family their savings and the rest of the year's paycheck.
And I split between them everything I've made so far.
I stare at the darkly shadowed ceiling and softly groan.
"Can't sleep?" Abbott asks me from the cot next to mine.
"Just thinking about the dead," I say, trying to sound nonchalant.
"There's no use in that," he says. "You can't bring them back. You'll only drive yourself crazy thinking about it."
"I'm going for a walk," I say, swinging out of bed and easing my weight carefully onto my leg. It's much stronger, thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, but it's by no means healed.
"Tell Madge I said hi," he says. I can hear the smile in his voice and I ignore the comment. Madge's room is in the other building in a painfully obvious attempt by the General to keep us apart. It's not working very well for him. We don't flaunt our relationship in his face, but we refuse to avoid each other. We eat meals in the kitchen with Arlo or with Abbott. We walk to training, or at least our poor attempt at training which, at least for us, involves clearing wreckage and trying to go back to normal. We spend all our free time together, behind closed doors, talking about the war and the bombing and constantly theorizing about the traitor. And kissing. Plenty of that, too.
I knock on her door, three short raps, a pause and then one. I smile to myself, remembering our earlier conversation in which she asked if we should have a code and I made this up. She opens the door a few seconds later, her tired eyes shining above her brilliant smile.
"Hi," she says softly, with a quick kiss.
"Let's go for a walk," I say, grabbing her hand. We follow the unfamiliar curving corridors. This was a back-up building, used for the surge of troops we're expecting next month due to the number of citizens who've enlisted. That means it's basically been abandoned. Not anymore, though. We open the front doors and walk into the cool night. I throw an arm over Madge's shoulders in an attempt to keep her warm. She leans into me, looping an arm around my waist.
"Abbott says hi," I say.
"Oh, our dear friend," she says with a sigh. These last few days we've grown very comfortable with each other, relaxing into an easy relationship that mimics nothing I've ever had before. Not with my family, my squad, or even with Katniss. She's the best friend I've ever had. I tighten my grip around her and kiss the top of her head. Thoughts of home fill my head, reminding me of my family and all the people I left behind. I abandoned the people whose lives I've saved.
"Do you ever want to go back to District 12?" I mutter into her hair. She stops quickly and we break apart.
"What?"
"Never mind," I say quietly. I shake off the thoughts of my family and try to focus on being here, with Madge. It's difficult. Memories of them wheedle into my consciousness, making me miss them more than usual.
"No," Madge says. "Tell me what you said." I meet her blazing eyes.
"Do you ever…think of home?"
"Constantly," she says, immediately, not thinking.
"Do you miss it?" I ask in a softer voice. She bites her lip and crosses her arms over her chest. A brief shiver passes over her.
"There's nothing left to miss," she says, not meeting my eye. I pull off my jacket and offer it to her. "Don't go all chivalrous on me," she says. "I'm fine." Goosebumps rise on her arms. I step forward and pull her towards me.
"I'm sorry I asked," I whisper into her hair.
"Let's walk," she says. "I'm freezing." A plan rushes into my head and I grin. I pull back and meet her eyes. "What?" she asks, eyeing me cautiously. I kiss her on the lips then lift her into my arms. "Hey!" she protests, breaking the kiss. "What are you doing?" She laughs and wriggles in my grasp, trying to get free.
"You said you're cold," I say walking down the cracked walkway.
"What did I just say about chivalry?" she asks, flashing me a mildly amused glare.
"Some nonsense about it being overrated," I say. She struggles some more and I tighten my grip, trying to keep from stumbling.
"You're going to aggravate your injuries," she says as she twists around so she's facing me and pushes against my chest with her hands.
"You're making it worse by struggling," I say. She meets my eye briefly then relaxes, resting her head against my shoulder with a sigh.
"Where are you taking me?"
"Where do you want to go?"
She pulls herself close to me. "This chivalry thing is actually very nice." She wraps her hands around my neck and presses her frozen fingers against the back of it.
"Jeez, Madge." She laughs, her warm breath washing over me. "I've decided. We're going somewhere warm." She laughs again and presses her freezing face against my neck.
"Warm me up?" she asks, her eyes flashing. I stop walking and kiss her softly on the lips. "That's all I get?"
"Patience," I say with a laugh. She wrinkles her nose, kisses my cheek then rests her head against my shoulder. I walk in the entrance to the kitchen, flip on the lights then let her down.
"Cocoa? Coffee?" I offer.
"Coffee sounds good," she says.
"Good. I don't know how to make cocoa." She grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me towards her. I put my hands on either side of her hips and lean my forehead against hers.
"I can't make you anything in this position," I warn.
"That's alright." She presses her lips against mine and twists her arms around my neck. "I like this way more than coffee." I run my fingers through her long hair, marveling of the feel of it running through my fingers. I follow her hair halfway down her back and rub circles into her hard muscles. She plays with the hair at the base of my neck. I stifle a yawn and pull away, resting my forehead against her shoulder.
"You're tired," she says. I nod.
"It's been a long week."
"C'mon, Commander. Let's get you to bed." I stand up and kiss her forehead. "We don't-"
"Yes. We do." She kisses me once, jumps off the counter and grabs my hand.
"What're you doing?" I ask with a grin.
"Escorting you to your room."
"Isn't that my job?" She laughs then kisses my cheek.
"You're not the only one who can be chivalrous." I raise my eyebrows in disbelief then yawn again and inwardly curse myself. The door to the General's office opens and voices and light pour into the hallway. Three figures walk into the hallway then turn towards us.
I stop walking, stop breathing, stop thinking. The world narrows and all I see is the person in front of me. She notices me immediately. I can't pull my eyes off of her, no matter how much I want to. It's like I'm seeing a ghost.
"Katniss?"