Once at Hermione's house, she waited until her parents were asleep for the night before asking me to change back. I did, in the silence of her room.
"Regulus…" Hermione began, "How are we going to make this work?" I said, truthfully,
"I don't really know, Hermione. I must say that it was a… rash decision to join you." Hermione scoffed slightly,
"I know. You didn't exactly ask me before hand. I assumed you'd go with Sirius." I stiffened as she said his name. There was no one listening here and no one that could overhear, but still, it was not a good habit to be in. Referring to a wanted criminal by his real name was a mistake that could cost a lot.
"Do not call him Sirius," I admonished. "No one will hear us here, but it's better to not be in the habit. Call him… I don't know… Maybe that ridiculous nickname he goes by? Padfoot? That's better, but a death eater will still recognize it."
"Why would a death eater recognize it?" Hermione asked confused. "I thought it was only Harry's dad. Lupin, S – Padfoot, and P – Oh." I nodded grimly. She understood that Pettigrew would go straight to the Death Eaters.
"Pettigrew has put us into a near impossible position. He knows too much about how things run at Hogwarts, too much about me and Sirius, and certainly too much about Severus."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked. I sighed. Sometimes, I forget these children did not grow up with a war as Sirius and I did. They, especially Hermione as a muggleborn, grew up with peace.
Peace. It was a strange thing, so… taken for granted by those whom had it. Once you lost it, you realized just how special it really was. Yet, those who lived without it were never prepared to lose it, and those who grew up with it never truly gained it.
"I know I told you Severus was a death eater. He decided not to take the coward's way out as I did." Hermione said quickly,
"You didn't take the coward's way out!" I chuckled slightly. No, I suppose I didn't, but faking my own death was not a brave thing to do, either.
"If you believe what I did was brave, then what Severus did was worthy of a Gryffindor." Hermione looked slightly scandalized at her hated potion's master and head of Slytherin possibility of having Gryffindor tendencies. "At that point, I believed myself to be alone; even within the death eaters at many times. Even Leon was loyal; Severus was the same. Soon after, from what I've been told, Severus went to Dumbledore instead. He's a spy on the death eaters, and the fact that he knew I wasn't dead will prove to be a tough situation for him to get out of."
Hermione gasped as realization hit her.
"Will he be killed?" she asked fearfully. I shook my head. Severus was good at slipping out of these situations, right? He wouldn't be killed, and certainly not on my behalf. Right?
"I don't think so, but he will be in danger for some time. Do you have an owl? I don't doubt that he has already thought of this, but it wouldn't hurt to tell him, nonetheless." I was lying, and I knew it. It was very likely that Severus would be killed. This was something I hated to have had done to me when I was young, but I could not tell her that Severus would most likely be discovered as a spy. If he was… Then he'd wish for death. As much as I would have liked to believe that he would worm his way out, I knew that the Dark Lord would be able to read the truth from Pettigrew's feeble mind. Hermione didn't know me well enough to call my lie, but she knew something was up when I changed the subject so quickly. After all, while I had been avoiding telling them what happened to me under the Willow, I had tried to shift the conversation to Pettigrew more than once. Still, though, Hermione answered me,
"I don't." I frowned, wanting to warn Severus, even though I hadn't been lying when I said he would have already thought of everything I could tell him. I would have to wait for him to write to me.
"Okay. I'll have to wait for him to contact me." Hermione frowned at me, looking remorseful. I think she could tell that I was playing down the amount of danger he was in. The amount of danger we were all in. Pettigrew left all of us hanging from cliff. There was only the ground far beneath us and no easy way back up.
I knew that Severus would contact me soon. He knew the danger we were both in. Maybe, if need be, he may even go so far as to put some wards up around the house. Though, maybe not, magic in a muggle settlement as this would be looked at by the Ministry. There was no doubt that old death eaters – Malfoy - would see them. That was the last thing Severus needed right now.
Merlin, I need a wand. On the lake, when I woke Sirius, it had felt so strange in my hand. Still, though, I needed to be able to protect both Hermione and myself, if need be. Plus, I needed a good amount of practice to get my skills up once more. Could I even remember most of the spells I once knew? When I thought of my time as a death eater, only three spells shone out in my mind. I hoped that, when a wand was in my hand once again, I would remember once again. After all, how could I forget? Magic was my life those many years ago, my soul, my everything. I could feel it pulse through me, leave my hand and surge through my wand. It would flash out with color and power. How I had loved it, cherished it, yet, took it for granted. I believed, at one point, that it made me special, better, than the muggles out there. That was wrong. Did I ever truly understand? No. It took me many years of treachery against others for me to finally realize how wrong I truly was.
Realizing I had stood there silently in front of Hermione for too long of a time, I murmured,
"Sorry. I suppose I'll just sleep on your couch?" Hermione nodded, concern for me shining in her eyes. She showed me the way to her living room; we were lucky it was so late and her parents were no longer awake. Then she showed me the bathroom. I bid her goodnight, and she went up the stairs.
Standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom, for the first time, I noticed how terrible I looked. My face was gaunt, though not as bad as Sirius', and my eyes were haunted. I was thin, my stress showing through. My hair was much more knotted than I had ever allowed it to become. At school, it had always been tied into a low ponytail, casual, but befitting for the true Black heir. It all seemed so pointless now. Sighing, I walked back to the couch, not wanting to sleep just yet.
Severus was in danger because of me. It was my story that put him in danger. Why hadn't I hid his involvement? That was an easy question; we weren't expecting Pettigrew to escape. I let out a bitter, quiet laugh. I always seemed to mess everything up. Why? Transforming into a cat, I felt my emotions fade slightly. That made it easier.
Heart heavy, I retired for the night.
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A few days later, late at night, an owl arrived from Severus. Relieved, though still guilty, I tore it open. I frowned as I noticed it was addressed to 'Crookshanks.' Still, that was a smart idea; I was in a bit less danger than Sirius was, but it was still great. As always, Severus had no preamble. There was no 'How are you?' or anything like that. Short and sweet – or sour, as it was from Severus - it stated that he recognized the problem Pettigrew posed. Severus planned on telling the Dark Lord – if, Merlin forbid, he returned – that he was young, and he still had false feelings of what he thought to be true friendship. By the time he recognized that there was no thing as friendship, only power, he assumed – as he did not know of my Animagus form – that I was either long dead or not worth finding. As for the Horcrux that I had so stupidly told everyone about, he would say that he believed it to be the rambling of an insane person. After all, I had been stammering on about dead people and water at the same time.
It could work, though, not without heavy punishment. Of course with punishment. The Dark Lord had always been big on punishment. Even the Dark Mark burned like hell. It was all a test of loyalty, or so he said.
As I sat, beginning my response, I wasn't paying attention to the things around me. Pondering my response, I first stirred as I heard a sharp gasp.
It was Hermione's mother. After a moment of only staring at me, openmouthed, while I did the same, she screamed,
"David!" There was a muffled thump, and after a moment, the sound of feet on the stairs. A light was switched on, and I blinked in the sudden brightness.
"Who are you?" the man demanded, seeing me. I opened my mouth; then closed it again, unsure as to if I should tell the truth.
"I'm going to call the police," Hermione's mother said shakily. Police? I'd never heard the term before. However, I knew it couldn't be a good thing. Finally, I found my voice,
"No! Er… Can you just get Hermione for me?" Hermione's father's face was shocked.
"It's the middle of the night! How'd you get in here?" Concealing a small and inappropriate smile, I said,
"Magic." Immediately, both muggles froze.
"Oh!" Hermione's mum gasped. "Is something wrong?" I suppose they thought I needed to tell Hermione something. Once again, I repeated,
"Could you just get Hermione for me?" Her parents looked at each other, and then back at me. Finally, her father nodded and set up the stairs. After a moment, Hermione came down them, her face pale, eyes angry. I winced; it was easy to see what was coming.
"Honestly! It's been three days! And you've already…" Hermione trailed off as she noticed both her parents staring at her.
"H – Hermione?" her mum questioned.
"Oh… I guess you want an explanation?" Hermione seemed to plead with her parents to answer no, but both only nodded dumbly, wondering why their teenage daughter had a man over twice her age living in their house.
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I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update! Especially after promising it out by Friday! I hit massive writer's block with all of my stories! I also have another excuse! I have recently been obsessed with Lord of the Rings! When I went to write my dialogue, I began to write it like they do in LotR without even noticing it!
Originally, the line, "Sorry. I suppose I'll just sleep on your couch?" was
"Forgive me. Should I take my rest on your couch?"
I didn't realize until I proofread it, so that took a couple days to fix… I can be such an idiot sometimes…
Still, though, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!
Please read and review! For those I have yet to review for the points system, I will do them soon!