AN: I MIRACOUSLY GOT AN INTERNET CONNECTION SO I WAS LIKE HELL TO FANFICTION! I apologize in advance.....You will see why

Brennan lifted her head from his chest "I need coffee," she said simply.

Booth chuckled "Java junkie," he said, a sweet smile grazing his lips.

Brennan matched his chuckled and rolled her eyes "You want some?"

"Sure."

"Ok," she said, leaning forward to press her lips to his, lightning shooting through the nerves in her body.

He pushed her hair back as she smiled and turned. Her feet met cool wood floors and she threw on her black tank top and her cut off jean shorts.

She ran her fingers through her hair and walked into the kitchen.

She ran through the normal procedure, putting the coffee in the filter, putting the filter in the compartment, turning the coffee maker on, and running the water through the machine.

Stay drops of water slid onto the quickly heating skillet, making high pitched sizzling noises.

"Ok," she said, walking away from the kitchen and back into the bedroom.

"Hey beautiful," Booth greeted cheerfully.

Brennan laughed "You make it sound like you haven't seen me for days, and I've been out of the room for less than 5 minutes."

"Well, after finally breaking, 5 minutes is a long time," Booth said.

"Oh I know, a lot longer than four years," Brennan said sarcastically.

Booth chuckled and held his arms open "Come here," he said quietly.

Brennan walked around the bed and walked to him. She sat in his lap and let him lift her into place and wrap his arms around her lovingly.

Brennan snaked her arm around his neck and leaned into him, her legs snaking around to touch the mounds that were his legs.

Booth ran his knuckle up her chest and throat, catching her chin and bringing her lips to his tenderly, kissing her ever so lightly.

"Are you happy?" he asked when they pulled away.

"More than I would like to admit," Brennan replied.

Booth looked at her questioningly, and Brennan took a deep intake of breath before clarifying.

"When I become too happy, everything goes into a bliss of irrationality, pain, and disappointment. Whenever I get too happy, the thing or person that is making me happy leaves, and I go back to my comforting seat in terminal depression," Brennan said sadly.

"So you're afraid of being happy?" Booth asked, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"Yeah," Brennan whispered, looking down to her lap instead of meeting his gaze.

"Temperance look at me," he whispered, immediately causing her to bring her aquamarine eyes to him deep chocolate ones "I want you to listen to me. You shouldn't be afraid of being happy, that will cause you more misery than anything. You need to open yourself up to people, let them through your barricade; I can't guarantee a lot of the time, it will end up amazingly."

"Evidence before conclusion," Brennan said in her squinty tone.

"Me," Booth said "You let me in, and look at us now."

"Well that's not fair, you forced yourself into my life," Brennan said.

"But…"

"But I don't regret it one bit," Brennan finished with a smile.

"See! And then Angela, you let her in and she's one of your best friends. She loves you and you love her. Along with all the squints, I don't think you really know how much they love you," Booth said "They jump to your defense like wolves."

"Really?" Brennan said, slightly disbelieving.

"Oh yeah, mess with one squint you mess with them all," Booth said "That's how it's always been, that's how it always will be."

"Along with an FBI special agent," Brennan added.

"And former Army Ranger," Booth agreed.

Brennan chuckled and sighed contently "Well, you have single handedly changed my view on almost everything, and I have no doubt that you will possibly change my view on this as well."

"But I don't want to change you," Booth said "I would never want to change you. I hope you will always be the intelligent, stubborn, successful, beautiful, caring anthropologist that I…"

"That you what?" Brennan asked.

"Never mind," Booth said shrugging it off 'No, too soon.' "I just want you to be happy, protected, and taken care of."

"And I'm all of those things right now," Brennan said, while the thoughts raced through her mind.

'That he what? What was he going to say? Was he going to say that he loved me? If he was then why is he stopping himself? Does he even know how he feels for me? What the hell am I bitching about I don't even know how I feel. All I know is that I want him, and I want to be with him. And right now, that's all I need.'

"I'm going to check on the coffee, slip your jeans on and we can sit out on the deck," Brennan said quietly.

"Are you sure you are going to be able to let me keep them on?" Booth said jokingly.

"No promises," Brennan teased, kissing him quickly and crawling out of his lap.

Booth chuckled and watched as she blew a kiss to him over her shoulder and walked out of the bedroom.

He swung his legs over the bed and pulled his boxers and jeans back on, opening the sliding glass doors, taking in the smell of salty ocean and fish.

Brennan poured two cups of coffee and added sugar and cream to hers, and kept his black. She took the two cups through the room and stepped onto the deck. She set the cups on the table and walked up behind Booth, who was now looking out over the cliff and out to the ocean.

She wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek on his shoulder blade. "Want to go out there today?" she asked.

Booth held her arms that wrapped around his waist "Sure," he said "There is a suitable amount of beach and the waves are pretty good."

Brennan chuckled and kissed his shoulder and pulled back. She walked to the table and picked up the two mugs, she walked to him and gave him his "Black, like you like it."

Booth kissed her forehead and took the mug "Thank you," he said "You always make the best coffee, what do you put in it?"

"The coffee beans that I get have nutmeg and ginger in it, makes it semi sweet," Brennan said.

"Mmm," Booth said sipping his coffee loudly "Yum."

Brennan smiled and sipped her drink lightly, setting it to the side. She crossed her arms and leaned against the railing "You threatened to throw me over this…"

"I would never hurt you," Booth said in an almost scary seriousness.

"I know," Brennan said, meeting his gaze "I know." she said again, resting her hang on his forearm.

Booth covered her hand with his and squeezed lightly.

He looked into her eyes, her gaze held seriousness and underlying remnants of passion and desire. Booth coiled and uncoiled his fingers in a 'come here' gesture.

Brennan straightened and Booth cupped her neck in his hands, crushing his lips to hers, his tongue invading her mouth quickly, caressing her tongue softly.

The kiss seemed to go on forever, and Brennan was perfectly fine with that. She felt so calmed when she kissed him, she as calmer now then she ever had been.

Booth stepped back "How about another round?" he asked.

"If you're up for it," Brennan said, looking around the deck.

"What are you doing?" Booth asked, watching her as she looked around.

"Checking. We're clear," she said.

"Clear for what?"

Brennan smiled coyly and pulled her tank top over her shirt, revealing her bare chest to him "For this."

Booth chuckled and pulled her to him, her breasts pressing against his chest "Let's get one thing clear," he whispered in her ear "Only I am allowed to see you naked."

Brennan chuckled and wrapped around her arms around his neck "No problem," she whispered "And same goes for you."

Booth chuckled and kissed her ear, nibbling on the lobe of her ear. His heart ached; he wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to whisper it and scream it and yell it to the world; and it hurt like hell not to tell her.

Brennan pulled her head back and touched the side of his face "Booth," she whispered "What's wrong?"

Booth shook his head, he put on a smile, but Brennan could still see hurt in his eyes "Nothing."

"No," Brennan said, pulling her shirt over her head. She pulled his hand and pulled him inside. She sat on the bed and sat back against the pillows, pulling him to sit in front of her. She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her "What is wrong Booth? Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Booth said "You haven't done anything wrong."

"Then why do you look so sad?" Brennan asked.

Booth looked down, despite Brennan's hands "I can't tell you."

"Why not," Brennan pleaded.

"I don't want you to run away," Booth said quietly.

Brennan sighed "So this is my fault," she whispered.

"No," Booth said sternly, taking her face in his hands "You haven't done anything wrong," again his seriousness frightening her.

"But you won't tell me the truth because you're scared I'll run away," Brennan said, her eyes pleading.

"But that isn't because of you," Booth said "I have wanted you for so long, and now I finally have you. And I would rather suffer a thousand deaths then loose you."

"It's impossible to die a thousand times," Brennan said defiantly.

Booth chuckled and rested his forehead against hers "I don't want you to worry about anything," he said "Because there is nothing to be worried about."

Brennan laid back further and pulled Booth on top of her "Whatever you say," she whispered and smiled calmly as he leaned forward and moved his lips over hers.

Brennan wanted him to say what he wanted to say, she wanted him to trust her. Trust her to not run away. Her hand went to his head as he lightly kissed her neck, she closed her eyes, and bit her lip

'Don't ask it. Don't ask it. Keep your mouth shut Brennan!' she screamed in her head, but for the first time in her life, she didn't listen "Do you love me?" she asked quietly.