Chapter Twelve

I had to admit, the sight of Hikaru in a jumpsuit was quite hilarious. So was the sight of him doing manual labor (not that cleaning up flowers and stuffing them in bags can be considered that difficult).

"You missed one," I said calmly, pointing to a small group of roses he had left behind next to the coffee table. He turned his face away from me (probably to hide his gritting teeth) and picked the bundle up.

I should probably confess that I was enjoying myself a little bit too much watching him work. However, if my dad had been there, it probably would have been much worse for Hikaru.

"Why did you fill my house with flowers anyway, Hikaru?" I asked, getting up to make some tea in the now flower-free kitchen. He gave a low growl and thrust some daisies in a bag rather violently.

"To apologize," he said slowly. I resisted the urge to laugh, but could suppress the smile forming on my face.

"Why couldn't you apologize to my face?" I insisted, wondering now what the hell I wanted him to say.

He threw down his current trash bag in a fury and turned around, taking me by the shoulders.

"You don't think it's even a little awkward that you wrote a story about you and I having gay sex? Not even a little?" he practically yelled in my face. I opened my mouth to reply that it had actually happened in a videogame that Kyouya and Renge had tested on me, and the story was my preparation to testify against the glasses-wearing character, but he continued:

"And what's even more unsettling is that Kaoru won't look me in the eye and keeps shuffling about in a very guilty manner and I have no idea why!" he looked like he was about to cry.

I sat him down on a flower free patch of floor, where he proceeded to cry, as I had predicted. I patted his back, but you know me, I'm not really the type to ask and nosy about. He finally decided to speak, through his sobs, and tell me what had really been bothering him.

"He keeps staying over with Honey and Mori and doesn't even talk to me anymore," he confessed. I sighed and gave him a hug (very uncharacteristic of me). This only seemed to aggravate him.

"And you!" he cried, grabbing me roughly and holding me in his arms (he knocked my tea to the floor in the process), "You write this weird crap and then act the same way you always do, and I can't tell how you feel about me!"

He then proceeded to kiss me. Violently. I didn't even have time to close my eyes.

When he pulled back, I saw he had calmed down and was now looking rather embarrassed. He released me, and on instinct I scooted away from him.

"You should know by now how I feel about you, Haruhi," he said seriously. I had an inkling of what he was talking about, but was too embarrassed to reply. Instead, in my usual awkward way, I began cleaning up the spilt tea as if nothing had happened. He sighed.

It was then that Kaoru arrived at my residence.

It was a rather meek entrance, seeing as he snuck in and left a letter by the door. He probably didn't count on my walking through the hallway to throw away some paper towels, because he jumped and spluttered as soon as he saw me.

"Oh Kaoru," I said loudly, pretending to not notice his desperate desire to not be found by his brother, "What brings you here?"

I heard a loud shuffling as Hikaru got up and ran to the hallway, where Kaoru had strangely gotten down on his knees. Facing me, he pressed his forehead to the floor in a bow of apology.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hikaru cried, "you look like a yakuza!" I laughed. The idea of Kaoru being a member of the Japanese mafia was too funny.

"I'm apologizing," he said softly, getting up and looking at me. I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"What did you do?" I asked, wondering what exactly was going on. Kaoru blushed.

"I know the position that Kyouya has put you in," he said, taking my hand, "but I haven't helped you at all. In fact, I—"

I recoiled away from him as Hikaru looked confusedly between the two of us.

"What's going on?" Hikaru asked. I looked pointedly at Kaoru and said firmly:

"Nothing. I seem to have made a deal with the devil."

Kaoru's eyes widened with understanding. Hikaru looked more lost than ever.

"It's ok, Haruhi. His only threat is that people will find out what happened, right? And both Hikaru and I know what happened…" he trailed off, blushing.

I froze. Hikaru knew from reading my story of my most embarrassing (and weirdly homosexual) moment, but how did Kaoru know. I felt my eyebrow twitch as I realized. Kaoru resumed his position of genuflection.

"YOU WERE PLAYING, TOO?" I yelled, kicking him. He winced and nodded. I smacked my forehead. Hikaru grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Playing what? What the Hell are you talking about?" he shook me rather frantically as he asked. I sighed.

"Well, it's kind of a long story, so why doesn't Kaoru make us some tea?" I said, wiggling myself free and pulling the younger Hitachiin up by his collar. Terrified of my wrath, he nodded and scuffled to the kitchen.

Of course, Kaoru had no idea how to make tea, so after he made an absolute mess of my kitchen I ended up making it anyway. The three of us sat down in the living room.

"Here is the truth, Hikaru. The truth I had hoped you would never find out," I began. Hikaru listened intently and Kaoru shifted guiltily as I spoke.

"Kyouya, Renge, and apparently Kaoru thought it would be fun to test a new videogame on me. My dad was easily bribed and of course signed a release form on my behalf."

Hikaru nodded, and Kaoru had begun to sweat.

"In this game, I was a boy, but everything else about my life was the same. Unfortunately, Kyouya turned up my sex drive for his own entertainment, which led me to sleep with you and then him and Tamaki at the same time," I said.

"After rejecting me," Kaoru added meekly.

"After rejecting Kaoru," I corrected.

The two of us sipped our tea calmly while Hikaru's face ran the gamut of expressions. Disbelief and incredulity turned to horror and embarrassment followed by denial and insane laughter. He fell to the floor laughing until tears came out.

"Good one, guys," he choked out. Kaoru and I made eye contact and nodded.

"Hikaru," he said, "We're not joking."

"How else would my dad get that mink he's always wearing?" I asked aloud.

Hikaru sit up, his laughter gone. He contemplated the two of us seriously, trying to discern from our expressions whether or not we were lying.

"I forgot to add that I won your heart in the end and beat the game. It was UkiDoki Memorial 3: Virtual Romance, if you want to check," I said to break the awkward silence.

Kaoru handed his twin his blackberry and Hikaru looked up the videogame in question. As he read about its features and game play, his eyes widened in realization and shock. I barely hid a smirk when he looked up and asked, "When did this all happen?"

"About a week ago," I replied calmly, "When Renge, Kyouya and I missed a day of school."

Hikaru's mouth fell open. Kaoru sighed.

"Now the only one who doesn't know is Tamaki," he said. The three of us exchanged glances.

"Let's not tell him," I said. The other two nodded in agreement.

Then Hikaru angrily kicked Kaoru out, accusing him of 1) conspiring against me, 2) making a mess of the kitchen, 3) interrupting a romantic moment, and 4) blowing his mind. I laughed as he walked back to me, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Was all of that really so embarrassing you couldn't tell me?" he asked.

Yes.

"No, I guess not," I replied.

We sat in an awkward silence for a moment, and then he hugged me. I hugged back.

It's none of your business what happened after that.

So that's the story of the worst month of my life and how I finally managed to sort things out.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have something to take care of.

What is it, you ask? Well, let's just say that the next story you read might begin with "I, Ootori Kyouya, awoke one morning to find that my penis had been replaced by a vagina."

Bye bye.

Haruhi shut down her computer with a contented look on her face, then got up and went outside.

"Are you guys ready?" she asked. The group (excluding Tamaki and Kyouya) was waiting, dressed like ninjas and holding some complicated video game apparatus.

"Awaiting orders to commence Operation: Revenge, captain!" Hikaru joked, saluting her.

She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

This was going to be fun.

Fin

DM: Wow, it's done! Thanks so much to everyone who read/reviewed it! You guys are awesome and I love you! Now that it's finished, I have two shameless plugs for you:

Shameless plug 1) On my profile I have a new poll asking which of my fics is your favorite. Please vote, because it will help me decide what to do next.

Shameless plug 2) If you read this fic and enjoyed it, I think we can assume that you're not into the typical fluffy and short Ouran High School Host club fics that perpetuate . If that is indeed the case, please check out my next fic (already in its second chapter) The Ward. It's rated M and is TamakixHaruhi, but if you don't mind that, then please do read it!