Gerard's Diary

by xElizaxSykesx

Gerard's diary. actually this is my diary for a few chapters, then when Frank comes in its not. to give you a little insight about me and my painful mood swings. this is real except for when Frank and Mikey come into play. yes this IS a Frerard, most of Gee's emotions are mine.

13. Chapter 13

Dear Diary,

Frankie found my cuts today. I went over to his house to hang out and he wanted me to draw him. Well when I started drawing, my sleeves rolled up and he saw the scars and cuts.

-Flashback-

"How could you do this Gerard?!"

"I don't know. I-I just need to. You don't understand Frankie." I was crying.

Frankie saw my tears. He pulled me onto his lap and stroked my hair. "Will you explain it to me Gee?"

"I feel so alone sometimes. Sometimes I wake up and I'm perfectly normal. Other times I wake up and I cry all day and night and I feel like there's something wrong but Mikey says I'm just moody. When I wake up on a bad day, I just sit and cry and think about how alone I am. I don't wanna be alone Frankie! It scares me! I can't be alone again. Cutting makes me feel better. And Mi-Mikey says that I'm in my imagination too often and I don't know what's reality. I'm so scared Frankie. Please help me!"

"Shh, shh baby it's okay. I'm here for you. Your not alone, you have me. Don't be scared. I don't care if you like your imagination better than reality. As long as you come back to reality to visit me I'm happy. I won't leave you. I will be here for you. It'll be alright baby. Promise something though?"

"Y-y-yes?"

"If you feel like cutting again, call me okay? I'll come over and help you feel better."

"Okay Frankie."

"It's okay Gee."

"Frankie?"

"Yeah sugar?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

-End Flashback-

I have Frankie. I know he loves me. I'm glad he does because I don't know if could survive without him.

XOXO Gee

A/N: This is my life actually but instead of my brother telling me I live in fantasy too much, its my mum. And I don't have a Frankie. I actually am alone. All of Gerard's feelings are what I struggle with everyday. Sometimes I'm normal. Sometimes I'm a crying mess that can't do anything right, fucks up everything, has no friends, and lives in her own head too often. I have more bad days than good. But it's nice to let this all out. I don't really have friends to tell this too. So this stays bottled up in my own little head. With all my fairy tales I create. and yes, I am so scared. I don't have a girlfriend, boyfriend, or even a friend to make me feel better but I'm slightly better now.