Title: A Leap Of Faith

Authors: Sara And Lizzie

Rating: T for language, mild sex

Disclaimer: It would be nice to own grey's anatomy, sadly all we own are a lot of high priced shoes and handbags, and both seasons on dvd.

Summary: AU. Meredith leaves Seattle the night that Addison comes. Five years later, she's standing at the back of the church, about to marry another man, when she admits to herself that she's still very much in love with Derek Shepherd. So she heads back to Seattle, and finds a very broken Derek. Will they be able to heal each other, or is it too late?

Author's Note: Wow. We suck. We've been unbelievably busy with school, work, interning, and of course, a little play time. But rest assured, we're trying super hard to update everything this week.

REVIEW!

I just want to feel your embrace.

Four Years Ago: Philadelphia

"I need you to tell me what happened in Seattle." Jack said one day, as they sat in a coffee shop in Old City, huddled against the November chill. His face was the picture of concern.

"Jack, I can't… I can't talk about Seattle." She said, biting her lip.

"Mer, you're going to be my wife. Just tell me." She was silent for a long time, thinking to herself that maybe she was going to be okay. Maybe she could do this, come out of this a stronger person. Fall out of love with Derek.

"It all comes back to that. Wife." She said. "I fell in love with someone. And it turns out that he had one."

Jack let out a low whistle. "That's why you came to Philly."

"That's why I came to Philly. His wife introduced herself to me, and I left the next day."

"And you've never looked back?" Jack asked.

Meredith forced a tight smile onto her face. "I've never looked back." She lied.

Present Day

Meredith started after Derek, but felt Jack's hand close around her wrist before she could get back inside. "That's him, isn't it?" Jack demanded. "That's the asshole with the wife."

"They're divorced." She said automatically. She wrenched her wrist out of Jack's grasp. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, even though she knew full well what he was doing.

His eyes flashed dangerously. "Jesus Christ, Meredith." He shouted. "You left me at the fucking alter!"

"With good reason." She shot back. Jack shot her a murderous glance. Meredith shook her head and turned away, suddenly exhausted. "I have to get back to work." She said. She started to walk away. She winced as he grabbed her upper arm.

"Don't you dare walk away from me." He hissed, tightening his grip on her arm.

"Jack, I'm going to get back to work." She said, trying to sound definite, but it just came out tired. He glared at her and grabbed her other arm just as tightly. "Jack, I'm serious!" she said. "Let me go." He didn't say anything, and he didn't budge. "Jack, that hurts."

"Hey." Came a voice from behind her. "What the hell is going on here?" Jack's hands released her instantly.

"Alex!" he said warmly, extending his hand. Alex ignored him and placed a gentle hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"Mer, we've got surgery." He said. She nodded gratefully and looked at Jack.

"Meredith, we need to discuss this." He said, suddenly rational. She nodded slowly, too overwhelmed to argue with him. "I'll be in town for a few days." He said. "I'll call you, okay?" he asked lightly. She nodded again.

In the elevator ride on the way to the surgical floor, Meredith could feel Alex's eyes on her. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Fine." She said, straining to keep her tone light.

"Then why are you freaking out?" Alex asked.

Meredith sighed and turned to face him. "My almost husband is here. And I slept with Derek in the tunnels." She admitted.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "Remind me not to sprawl on the gurneys." He said as they stepped off the elevator.

Several hours later, she was trudging out of the hospital, exhausted. Derek, Jack, surgery. It was all too much. She checked her watch. It was two thirty in the morning, and she felt confident enough to offer a silent thank you to the universe that Jack hadn't called her. She hit the unlock button on her keys, but a movement to her right caught her eyes.

"Derek." She breathed. He said nothing, just stopped moving and looked at her. She was standing under the rainless, cloudless sky. The moon was shining brightly enough to create shadows, and it was chilly.

Meredith shivered in her t-shirt, chastising herself silently for dressing for the eighty degree afternoon, not the sixty degree evening. "I'm sorry, Derek." She whispered. "I didn't know he was coming, I didn't want him here…"

Derek let her talk, his eyes traveling from the hollow expression on her face to her upper arms, where bruises had formed in the distinctive outline of fingers. She saw where his eyes had strayed to, and looked down. "Meredith…." Derek said slowly, something clicking into place in his brain.

"I'm sorry." She whispered again. Derek had nothing to say. There was nothing to keep his thoughts from colliding, his head from spinning, so he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. As the feeling of warmth and safety encircled her, she let herself melt into Derek's embrace. She had no idea how long they stood there, but they both seemed to pull away at the same moment.

"Derek, what is this?" she asked desperately.

He shook his head. "I can't. Not now, not yet." He turned and got in his car, leaving her shivering in the parking lot.