Here's another update to make up for yesterday. Ahh, a glimpse of my old writing. The story's moving. The fun is starting.
"BACON SODA!" Jake cheered, holding the four pack above his head. Beside him, Lady sucked quietly on her own candy, smiling. Bonnibel handed him the bag of assorted gummies next, doing a double take when she saw what looked like a green gummy foot inside. Jake saw it too, laughing out a garbled "gnarly!" Before popping the top of one of his sodas.
"Those are for Finn." Bonnibel said firmly. "I want to make sure he gets them!" She said, laughing when Jake choked on his first overenthusiastic swig of soda.
"I'll hand them over, don't worry! Man, that kid is gonna adore you, Bon. His little heart'll grow three sizes." Jake said, tucking the candy into his messenger bag. He put one bottle of soda into each of the bottle holders on the sides of the bag, slipping the last one into Lady's backpack's bottle holder. "No drinking it, Lady. It's special from Bonnie."
Lady rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Bonnibel. "How was your first day?" She asked. Bonnibel fiddled with a stray lock of hair, grinning shyly.
"Honestly, I've been helping out at the store since I was a little kid. The owner is my godfather." She admitted. She figured there was no harm in telling them. Jake's eyes lit up.
"Bonnie, that's so awesome! I wish I had a cool candy making family member. You could become like, candy protege, or like…" he pulled at the pencil Bonnibel had tucked behind her ear, pointing at the small crown at the end. "...candy princess!" Bonnibel snatched it back, making a face at him before using it to put her hair up in a bun.
"Don't exaggerate, Jake. I'm happy enough just getting to work there every day. Though…" she gestured for them to come closer. "Now, this is top secret, but we're planning on getting a slush machine in the summer, and a soda tap." She whispered, grinning widely when Jake beamed, whimpering in excitement and he pumped his fists in the air.
"Bacon soda on tap!" He exclaimed, quiet enough for only the three of them to hear. Bonnibel laughed, and Lady shook her head, though she was amused, too.
"I request melon." Lady said, popping another candy in her mouth. Bonnibel nodded.
"Noted." She felt excited to be able to share the Candy Kingdom news with her friends, even if she still kept some things to herself.
Minton had stressed the importance of building friendships in her new school, and she thought to herself that working at the candy store had definitely been a good idea. It gave her a whole new aspect of life to talk about without oversharing. She took a breath. This was good. It was healthy. Pushing the thoughts out of her head she ate her lunch, happy to be able to laugh along with her friends.
In music class later that day, Bonnibel hated to admit that she had grown very tired of her arpeggio. While she'd assumed playing it to perfection would make it sound more musical to her, the thing plunked along with her fingers mechanically once more. Maybe she wasn't meant to play the piano.
She'd never been good at music. Neddy could listen to a song once and hum every note perfectly for days, but Bonnibel could barely remember the lyrics to her favorite songs. She felt deprived.
Piano was difficult. Her fingers didn't stretch far enough, her brain couldn't figure out how to play two totally different parts at the same time. The arpeggio was the closest thing to music Bonnie had ever played, and even then, she felt no closer to her goal.
Her goal. It was overwhelming to think about, and as soon as her mind touched on it, Bonnibel pushed the notion back. She felt her breath hitch and forced herself to take deep breaths and focus on the arpeggio. She played it again. And again. And again, but it didn't sound right. She groaned.
As if though summoned by Bonnibel's negativity, Marceline materialized beside her, holding her hand out to catch her attention. Bonnibel's hope came back in a small trickle at the sight of her momentary piano teacher, the music prodigy, and she waited for any praise, or acknowledgment of her improvement. She wanted permission to go back to Lightly Row, to make real music. When Marceline spoke, her hopefulness dropped back to zero and threatened to fall ever lower.
"That key is really annoying when you hear it played several days in a row." Marceline grumbled, crossing her arms. Bonnibel stared at her, frowning. "Can't you play anything else?"
"You taught me how to play this, and told me to practice it." Bonnibel countered, pouting slightly. Her heart started beating faster, she noticed. "I just did what you told me to."
Marceline huffed. "I taught you the arpeggio, but you can change keys, brainiac." Marceline pushed passed Bonnibel, angrily playing the arpeggio a few keys up to prove her point. Bonnibel blanched.
"Y-you didn't tell me I could do that!" She said, biting her lip. Marceline huffed in response.
"I thought you'd figure it out. It's not rocket science." Marceline said, flipping a lock of hair over her shoulder. Bonnibel's gaze fixed on the red bra strap there, peeking out from Marceline's black tank top, and Bonnibel swallowed, looking for what to say next.
"I thought you'd give me instructions once I got the arpeggio down…" Bonnibel said more quietly, hopefully. Marceline laughed, shaking her head.
"I'm not your teacher. You should have asked Pat, not stuck your expectations on me." She growled, motioning towards Mr. Ursa behind her. "I just gave you a suggestion. I had no intention of teaching you anything. But now, that arpeggio is getting on my nerves. Probably everyone else's, too." Marceline said, motioning to the rest of the class. "They're all progressing. Might want to take a page from their book."
Bonnibel twiddled her thumbs, feeling stupid for placing her faith in Marceline for even a second. She was dangerously close to tears, avoiding eye contact lest they break free.
"Sorry." She squeaked out, clenching her lips together.
"What?" Marceline asked, leaning toward her. Had she not heard her, or was she's trying to make her apologize again? It had to be the latter. She was being insufferable today, Bonnibel thought to herself.
She was being unfair. She was always unfair. Just because she'd seen her playing that stupid song. Bonnibel was going to delete that song from her phone first chance she had. She should have never thought Marceline would be impressed with her efforts, or help her. She'd told her straight out to bugger off. It was Bonnibel's fault for not taking the hint.
"What did you say?" Marceline demanded again, and Bonnibel bit her lip.
Why was she so mean when Bonnibel had done nothing to counter her? She'd let her get away with freeloading on her assignments. She stood up for her when she noticed she wasn't feeling well, even though Marceline had put her down for wanting to make a greater academic effort. She'd been nothing but nice, and Marceline didn't appreciate it. She was awful.
No more. No more free credit for Marceline, and if she was going through something, well, so what? Nobody cared what Bonnibel was going through. Nobody gave her any special consideration. Why should she give Marceline any?
Her heart twinged.
Everything was awful. She was alone. Nothing was as friendly or familiar as it had been just a year ago. The people here didn't care about her. No one cared about her.
Bonnibel felt a tear squeeze past her defenses, and she felt the tightness in her chest constrict further with the dip her thoughts had taken. This was dangerous, she realized.
"What did you say to me, ner-" Marceline was shocked to see Bonnibel's flushed face meet her own angrily, her blue eyes streaming tears. She began to stuff things in her backpack hurriedly, not looking at Marceline the whole time.
"I'd said I was sorry, but I'm not!" Bonnibel called to her. She got up to leave suddenly. "You ought to be sorry for being so downright mean for no reason." Bonnibel left the classroom quickly without bothering to put away her keyboard or music, leaving Marceline with her mouth agape.
In the bathroom, Bonnibel splashed water on her face, taking deep breaths. She wanted to curl up and cry, the thoughts taking hold on her. She shook her head, trying to fight off each one.
Lady likes you.
She took another breath, rubbing circles into her temples.
Jake has been nothing but nice to you.
She splashed more water onto her face, taking a gulp from her palms despite knowing it was most likely unsanitary.
Neddy needs you.
She dried her hands and face on a paper towel, looking at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot, but her chest felt ok. The tightness was subsiding.
"Those things you told yourself aren't true." Bonnibel told her reflection, just for the sake of hearing it. "The people here are nice. This is a good school, a good place. You're making good friends. You got a good job. You still have your fantastic little brother, and he loves you."
Bonnibel's hands had been shaking, but they'd gone back to normal, feeling cold and tight at the knuckles, but she was otherwise ok. She took a final look in the mirror, deciding she was ok.
It scared her how quickly she could fall into those thoughts, and into that hopelessness. She thought back to Marceline, and while the girl had been rude and a little inconsiderate of Bonnibel this semester, she probably didn't deserve being yelled at.
Despite knowing this, Bonnibel couldn't bring herself to go back into the classroom to apologize. She walked down the corridors slowly. There was still a significant portion of class left, but she had no drive to return. She considered stopping by the counselor's room, but the urge to talk to someone wasn't there, and she didn't want to force it.
Instead, Bonnibel made her way to the parking lot, climbing into her car and locking the doors. 30 minutes. She would nap for 30 minutes, and then she'd go to work, and Minton wouldn't notice anything. She'd restore her day to its former goodness. She'd pick up dinner for Neddy and Minton and herself and they'd eat together tonight. She'd finish her homework, and she'd get a good night sleep. Today would be ok. Tomorrow would be better.
Bonnibel unlocked her phone and set her alarm. She saw the title of the song she'd been playing on repeat for the last few days, but despite what she'd thought to herself during her small outburst, she couldn't bring herself to delete it. Instead she switched the song, falling asleep to the soft piano and lyrics from the ending theme of Neddy's favorite television show.