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"Lily? Can you stop stabbing those potatoes?" Mary asked tentatively to the unusually foul tempered Head Girl.

"What?" Lily's head snapped up, her expression softening at her friends worried looks, "Oh, sorry. I didn't sleep well."

"Are you ok? I know you're not really a morning person but this is a whole different grumpiness. You've barely spoken or eaten, unless mutilating carbs count. Has that bastard Fairclough bothered you or something?"

"No, Marlene, I'm fine." She tried to smile but her facial muscles didn't comply, "Just a bad night…I don't really want to talk about it."

Lily went back to staring at her plate, it calmed her slightly. Last night had been hell; after she saw…them, she ran back to her bed and cried for hours, long after J-he sauntered back into his room, not bothering to try and be quiet. She couldn't stop going over the image of her…no, not hers, just James and his slut kissing. It made her feel extremely nauseous. She knew that she probably looked a mess; she was a mess, a stupid, emotional, teenage, hormonal mess. Her hands hadn't stopped shaking; she had barely slept; yet she mainly just felt overwhelming shame. Everyone was going to laugh at her, 'Oh look, James has finally got over that stuck up Lily Evans, finally got with a girl whose worth it.' Tears welled up in her eyes again.

No. Don't cry. Not here.

Why am I such a state over James Potter? This goes against everything. I'm Lily Evans, I don't get like this. What this hell is going on with me? I seriously hate-

Lily's internal rant stopped. Everything seemed to stop.

There they were, the new 'it' couple, strolling hand in hand. She was practically crawling over him, determined to rub it in everyone's faces that she had got James Potter. Lily's skin crawled. That bitch.

He smiled at her and waved slightly, Lily turned her head away, unable to look at him without tears spilling into her destroyed potatoes. James was dragged to sit with his new 'girlfriend's' friends, who all looked green with envy at their queen bee's new beau. His friends were forgotten for a silly, slutty bird, how lovely.

"Hello, my favourite Ginger." Sirius threw himself down on the bench next to her.

"Sorry, Sirius, I'm not really in the mood today."

"Aw, baby. My heart bleeds, why would you be so cruel to not partake in a bit of flirtatious banter with your favourite Marauder?" He nudged her softy with his elbow, well as softly as Sirius did.

"I'm not in the mood to talk." Thought's of her real favourite Marauder filled her brain, wanting her to cry again. She settled for digging her nails into her palms.

Remus noticed this small movement and put his hand over hers, "Lily. What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She felt a pang of guilt for snapping at him, "Why can't anyone understand that I don't want to talk to them."

"Alright then." Sirius shrugged his shoulders and started piling his plate high with food much to the disbelief of the ever-tactful Remus, "But, when you're ready to drag your arse out of whatever misery you're now in, we're here, waiting handsomely."

She gave a small grateful smile, her eyes wandering to James and Danielle. She was practically on top of him. He looked extremely uncomfortable as he tried to eat his breakfast with a slut sprawled across his lap. He awkwardly smiled at his friends.

Sirius snorted, "That girl is ridiculous." Lily stared at him, "Come on. Usually I don't mind a good bit of slutiness," Remus hit him, "But that is awful. James hates girls who are over the top and now he has landed himself the biggest showoff in the fucking castle. She may as well shag him now. And that fucking voice, it has been less than a day and I am done with hearing her shriek, "Jaaaamsie. Omg baby! I have missed you since the last time I slobbered on your face."

Peter snickered into his bacon, "Maybe she will calm down eventually? She must not be too bad, Prongs seems to like her."

"Believe me, Wormtail, Prongs likes her tits, nothing else." Remus hit him again, then nodded in agreement.

"They're not real." Lily said in a small voice.

"WHAT?" the three boys yelled simultaneously. Even the enamored couple turned to stare at them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sirius said in a Sirius sort of whisper.

"Nope." Her smile grew, pushing against the overwhelming sadness that threatened to take over.

"How-how the hell do you know?" Remus spluttered.

"You can tell." She smiled slightly more at their bemusement, "If you look at her bra, you can see the shape of extra padding and chicken fillets. I would guess she is actually smaller than me." This time she hit Sirius, "Oi. Don't stare at my boobs."

"Just comparing, darling." He winked and smirked mischievously, "That is unbelievable."

"Why would you put raw meat down your top?" asked Peter, who was completely puzzled.

Before Lily could explain chicken fillets, her voice caught in her throat as James sat down straight across from her. He casually got himself a drink of pumpkin juice and asked Remus some random question about his Transfiguration essay. As if everything was normal.

Her nails drug deep into her skin, drawing blood. She didn't even feel it. Seeing him so close, smiling normally, laughing and joking, felt like someone had crucio-ed her.

"Lily?" The way he said her name made her want to scream. "Are you ok?" Tears and screams built inside her, "Lils, stop, you're hurting yourself. Lily-"

"Jaaaaamsie."

He froze as we made eye contact. I could tell I look somewhere between angry, ice cold and a zombie.

"I think your girlfriend wants you, Jamsie." She was shocked at how cold and hard her voice was.

"Lily-"

She held her hand up to silence him, "Why don't you tell someone who gives a damn?" Then she walked out of the hall, trying to ignore the pain ripping through her chest.

I like disused classrooms. They are very peaceful. Echoes of learning comfort me, makes me feel slightly more sane.

I don't understand why I'm this bothered. Surely `I just fancy him, all the signs are there: I turn into a fool when he's near, I hate his girlfriend, I think of him constantly and I really want him to realise how I feel.

But this…pain isn't how a crush usually is. I fancied Liam but even when he hurt me, I never felt this. What the hell does this mean? Curse my ability to feel things.

"Oi, Ginger." Sirius sat next to her in the corner of the dusty room, "Mind if I join you? I have chocolate."

She smiled, in spite of her sorrow, "I guess so, I can't refuse chocolate."

He reached into his robes and produced a massive Honeydukes bar and broke some of for them. They ate chocolate in comfortable silence.

"Now. Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

She opened her mouth to say something like 'Oh nothing' or 'doesn't matter, cheers for the chocolate. Bye.' Instead she burst into tears.

"Hey. Come on, where's the stone cold Evans I love?" He put his arm around her shoulders and rubbed her arm comfortingly, "I never thought I'd see you in tears. Especially over Prongs."

"You know?" She looked up tearfully.

"Yeah, babe. Promise not to ruin my bad-boy reputation, but underneath this sexiness I am a rather sensitive soul, who can tell when a girl has fallen arse over tit for my best mate."

"You have just a wonderful way with words." She gave a small teary laugh, "Have you told James?"

"Nah, it's not my business. I think Remus has worked it out too."

"How?"
"NO offence, Lily, but you are not very subtle."

She laughed again but then cried a bit more, "Then why hasn't James realised? Why has he got with Danielle? I knew he didn't fancy me anymore but if I'm that obvious, he should've noticed and be more tactful and subtle."

"Well, first James is shit at relationships. He can only tell if a girl fancies him if she/some else tells him. Second, don't ask me why he has got with that whore, I'm guessing too many bludgers to the head. Third, he has been trying to convince himself and us that he's over you but we all think it's absolute bollocks. He has been in love with you since 5th year and even the amazing Marauders can't switch that shit off. Fourth, when has Prongs ever been tactful and subtle? Have you forgotten the past two years in your generally misery."

"He loved me?"

"Merlin, yes! He never shut up about you, constantly asked you out and never ever shut up about you. Seriously. Merlin, when you went out with Fairclough," He let out a low whistle, "Shit hit the broomstick. He nearly broke his hand from punching a wall, turned into a complete mess, no offence, and he kept saying it was like some had-"

"Crucio-ed you in the heart?"

"Yeah. That's bloody weird."

"Yep. It bloody sucks."

"Look, if you want my advice as James' sort of brother, be his friend for now and when him and fake-tits break up, snog the hell out of him."

Laughing, Lily grabbed some more chocolate and replied, "For a boy, that sounds like decent advice. Cheers, Sirius, you're not as much of an arse as I thought. You're actually dead sweet."

"Never say that to anyone, especially Prongs or I'll never hear the end of it. Oh, and thanks."

They sat once more in a comfortable silence.

The dark haired troublemaker eventually stood up and helped the now not-crying Head Girl up, "Right, I'm off to lessons. Me and Moony will cover for you today. Go eat food, read some girly shit, tidy yourself up and return tomorrow as the sexy Prongs-loving Ginger we know and love."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Go! I'm giving you a free pass off school, take it, run."

"Alright, thanks." She hugged him in a brother/sister way, "Thank you for dealing with all my emotional stuff."

"I admit I had to use all my Gryffindor bravery to stop myself from doing the natural guy reaction of 'RUN AWAY FROM THE CRYING FEMALE.'"

"I'm sure you did. See you later, thanks again." She turned to walk out of the classroom, laughing slightly.

"Oi, Ginger." She looked back over her shoulder, "You and James are meant to be together…you're both fucking mental.