~ Chapter Twelve ~

In a sparely furnished room close to the Hela's throne room waited Thor. It had been hours since Hela left him alone in her throne room. He was close to a nervous wreak that he had ever been. His mind was reeling back and forth and the good thing that he could come up with was that he didn't feel hungry. Maybe it was a part of being in Hela's castle and not in one of the other levels of Hel, but it still couldn't erase his anxiety.

He almost feared hearing Hela's decision.

The memories that had haunted him since Yggdrasil had calmed down and mostly ceased. He felt though, like he had lived half a life more over his current life. He had memories of Loki, with Loki, that didn't go together with the Loki he had grown up with. The dark shadowy figure that had fallen from the path of justice and light.

He could feel the warmth and trust, not to forget love, from these memories. There had almost never been any bad feelings between them in his new memories and what had he had seen was over some minor jealousy.

Then there were the memories when he held Loki. Really held him. Intimately. Closely.

Oh, Gods. I can't say the word.

Because he had never touched Loki like that. Never even thought about crossing this line. It was a border that although new, and was beginning to blur in his mind, was still clearly not his own. Whatever the other 'Thor' had been through, what he had experienced, hadn't happened to him. He knew it. That wasn't his life. It wasn't his Loki. It wasn't his brother.

The memories of their first time in the hay was fresh and clear in his mind. The light that had spilled in through the hatch and embraced them on the loft. The security and rightness that had entered his mind. The sweat that he could almost smell and the heated need. He had never lived it. Loki wasn't his lover. They had never indulged in such carnal behaviors when no one was looking.

But sometimes it felt like it. The vivid memories were almost overwhelming. He even found himself wishing that he could have one of those memories when he woke up in a warm bed, Loki next to him, sleeping and looking so peaceful with the sheets wrapped around his naked waist. It was shamefully to admit it, but he actually missed those times. Those times he knew had never occurred.

If there were a more torturous punishment than was happening in his mind, he couldn't come up with what would have. Was this his punishment for causing his brother's death? For laying harm on his younger brother?

Thor was drawn from his thoughts when he heard foot steps coming closer. The door swung open and revealed Hela, but it was the timid child that drew his attention immediately.

Loki!

The child noticed that the big blond man was looking at him and tried to hide behind Hela's leg.

Thor's heart sank in his chest.

The Queen watched Thor carefully before prying forth Loki from behind her dress. Loki was trying to hang on while obeying Hela. It was a fight where Loki's own will was pushed aside.

"Swear on your people, future King of Asgard, that you will protect Loki with your all your being. No harm must come to him while he is in your care."

Thor stared straight into her eyes. "I swear on my soul that I will protect him."

The blue eyes seemed to reach deep into Hela and for a moment she saw the man the Asgardian should have been. Proud, rightous, powerful, sure, and most of all, unconditional protective of the caretaker of Yggdrasil.

"What have come of our lives can't be changed." Hela told him. "But try your hardest to repair the future and live as you want. No one can take away what was your from the beginning of time."

He had never been good with riddles, always falling prey for Loki's- no. The God of Chaos' riddles. Embarrassing and humiliating him for his lack of brains. But he somehow understood Hela's.

The Queen looked down at the child holding her hand. "I want you to go with Thor. He will take you to your real home."

"I don't want to leave here." he said in a weak voice.

"It's going to be alright."

Loki took one quick look at the Aesir before he turned his face away.

"Listen to me." Hela said to get his full attention. Loki stared at her with wide green eyes, almost to big for his small face. "Thor is not the man in your dreams. He will not hurt you. The only similarity between them is their blond hair and body shape. Nothing else. The same as the souls that pass through my realm is not the same as you. Thor will protect you when I am not able. He cares about you just as much as I do."

"Really?" Loki asked timidly. "Really?" he asked Thor with insecure eyes.

The Asgardian melted as he took in the child. He knelt down and relaxed his body to appear non-threatening. "Really, little one." he said with a smile. "I will send away everything that wants you harm. It will be like an adventure. You and me."

That caught his attention excitment started to take over the fear.

"Will you come with me?" Thor asked as gently as he could while holding out his hand.

Loki looked at it for a long moment. As if it would try to grab him against his will or otherwise hurt him. Thor still saw a hint of fear in his eyes and it hurt him to think Loki thought he would willingly hurt him in any way.

Guilt rose in his chest as he was taken back to the battle field. The blood, the pain, the deaths, the hurt, the thunder. It all rained down on him and it hurt. He saw Loki gasping in a burned body. The meniacing laughter before the smoke escaped. The shouts of his friends. Asgard falling. Midgard clashing. Jormungandr rising. Fenrir swallowing the sun and moon. Hela leading an army of undead. Loki standing in the middle of the Casket of Eternal Winters. The gate to Jotunheim crumbling in destruction. The Bifrost following it. Chaos. Death. War.

Loki.

A small hand reached for his and brought him to the present and although he managed to conceal his surprise he was amazed when he saw the small child holding his hand despite its obvious fear of him.

Thor folded his thumb around the tiny hand and although it was a hesitately one, he recieved a smile from Loki.

"I'll show you the way out." The Queen of Hel said.

TBC