Chapter 13

"New crew member settling in without problems?" Mordin asked as he checked the data on his screens. Shepard was trying to stay as still as possible as he tweaked her cybernetics but this experiment required her to be talking pretty much non-stop. Something she wasn't great at doing...

"Jack? Yeah, I like her." Shepard wasn't sure what else to say.

"Profile suggests she is unstable." He commented and she tried not to frown.

"She's just angry and she doesn't know how to vent that anger in a socially acceptable manner. That doesn't make her unstable." Her words had more venom than she meant them to.

"No offence intended. Reaction indicates empathy with Jack?" She sighed a little, putting effort into not moving.

"Of course I have empathy with her. I put up with a lot of crap from other people but there's only so much a person can cope with before they reach their limit. I used to reach my limit a lot when I was young and my reactions were never... pleasant." She admitted.

"But you learnt to control yourself after reaching your limit." She laughed a little at that.

"Nope. Other people just grew up enough to stop pushing me. Like I said, it takes a lot for me to reach that limit. Like, six months of solid emotional blackmail." Mordin raised an eyebrow at that.

"Oddly specific." He pointed out but she ignored it.

"Point is she's taken a lot of crap and she's reached her limit for it. I can't blame her for that but I can help her move past it. Plus, she has the best stories." Mordin simply nodded as he worked on her implants and she tried not to flinch.

"That should do it. Try talking in Turian." She frowned as she figured out what to say.

"Is it working? Am I butchering the pronunciation? I bet I am..." It was weird to hear her voice in two tones.

"Pronunciation fine, Shepard. Implant working surprisingly well." He indicated that she could sit up so she did, deciding to keep practising her Turian.

"So the simulated second voice voice box is controlled almost entirely by my subconscious, like an actual turian's?"

"Yes. Very little input required. But will only work when speaking Turian. Sub-harmonics will always sound but will only be heard by turians, salarians and drell. Suggest practice controlling sub-harmonics. Makes emotions easier to read." She nodded.

"Alright then. Wait, this doesn't affect my singing voice, does it?" Mordin frowned a little.

"It shouldn't. Should try just to be sure." Shepard nodded. Mordin was the only person on board she felt comfortable singing in front of apart from Garrus. Mostly because working on a difficult problem was much more fun when singing a duet.

"Something has changed within me,
Something is not the same,
I'm through with playing by the rules,
Of someone else's game,
Too late for second-guessing,
Too late to go back to sleep,
It's time to trust my instincts,
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try,
Defying gravity,
I think I'll try,
Defying gravity,
And you can't pull me down!

"Did that sound alright?" She asked, her sub-harmonics trilling with worry.

"Sounded fine. Implant doesn't activate when singing." She nodded, a little relieved at that.

"Guess it's time to go see Garrus and show off. Thanks for your help Mordin." She jumped down from the table and got ready to leave.

"No problem. Actually thought of more adjustments I could make. Will keep you informed if I make any progress." She nodded.

"Thanks Mordin." She said as she headed down to the Main Battery.

Garrus was in the middle of some calibrations when he was interrupted by sub-harmonics trilling with excitement. He almost jumped, thinking it was another turian until he turned and saw Shepard standing behind him.

"Guess what?" He frowned for a few moments.

"Wait, that didn't come through my translator." He said and she grinned, shaking her head.

"Nope, Mordin and I applied the changes to my vocal implants this morning." She was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"You know, this whole thing was born out of hatred for your translator but you have to rely on your implants for this to work. I don't really see a distinction between the two." She sighed, her sub-harmonics chiming in as she leant on the terminal.

"If my implants cut out then I'm pretty much dead anyway. I don't like relying on them any more than my translator but I have no option with them." Her sub-harmonics dropped in pitch and he put a hand on her shoulder. She had always hated relying on technology, firmly believing that if she didn't know how it worked and couldn't repair it herself she shouldn't be using it, but here she was relying on cybernetic implants to survive. His sub-harmonics trilled in an effort to comfort her and she smiled at him.

"You're picking up Turian fast." He commented and she shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. I already knew a lot of the basics, I could just never speak most of it." She was suddenly aware of his hand of her shoulder and she blushed a little, her sub-harmonics chiming in. Her eyes widened a little as she tried to figure out what she had just subconsciously said. She didn't know exactly but she could guess and his responded in a way that she knew meant confusion mixed with something else she couldn't recognise. "I think they may still need a little tweaking, though. Especially the sub-harmonics." She covered, hoping that her face wasn't bright red.

"Yeah. Don't want to be saying things you don't mean." She shook her head, deciding that maybe having an element to her voice that was controlled almost entirely by her subconscious wasn't such a good idea. She remembered Mordin's advice about needing practice to control the sub-harmonics and thought that it might be a good idea to visit him once she had done her rounds for the day and practice for a few hours. Maybe longer...

"Anyway, I'd better get going. I need to do my rounds and stuff. I just came to show off." He nodded, his sub-harmonics still trilling in a way she couldn't recognise. She figured she still needed practice reading them. "See you tomorrow morning?" She got ready to leave, putting all of her effort into not vocalising her embarrassment.

"Yeah. Shepard?" He asked as she was almost out of the door.

"Yeah?" She asked, unsure how much longer she could stop her sub-harmonics from sounding.

"Have you decided what you're going to do with the krogan yet?" She clamped down harder on her sub-harmonics, begging her subconscious to not give her away.

"No, not yet." She lied. She'd always been good at lying, she had to be, but this was Garrus and she suspected that he would catch on even without her new sub-harmonics ratting her out.

"Jane..." He groaned and she gave him her best innocent look.

"What?" She asked, clasping her hands behind her back to fight her compulsion her mess with her hair.

"You're going to let him out, aren't you?" She keep up her poker face.

"Like I said, I haven't decided yet." She tried to look earnest and it would have worked on anyone else but he knew she was lying.

"You do know how dangerous this is, don't you?" His sub-harmonics trilled with anger and a little fear. Her heart was touched by the sentiment, that he was scared for her, but she knew that she had to do it regardless.

"We can argue about this when I've actually made the decision. I'm still not sure." She sighed in frustration, hoping he would buy it.

"Shepard, just cut the crap. You were going to wake him up without telling me so that I wouldn't try to stop you." She flinched a little as he called her Shepard. He only did that when the crew could hear him but the door had closed once again. She let her sub-harmonics sound once again, allowing her to convey the fact that all of her frustration, awkwardness and fear had been ignited into anger.

"So what if I was, Vakarian? It's none of your business how I run my ship. I respect you opinion as a friend but you have already given it and I have taken it into consideration. This is my final decision. Deal with it." She growled those last words before storming out of the battery, her biotics flickering lightly over her skin as she went. If he was going to act like an ass, she reasoned, she would treat him like one.

"Hey Mordin." She said in turian (she wanted as much practice as possible) as she walked into his lab and he frowned at the bruising on her neck.

"Have you seen Chakwas about that?" She shook her head.

"It's not that bad." He gave her a look and she sighed, slumping against the wall.

"So, I woke up Grunt, the krogan, and he attacked me. It's all fine now but Garrus thought it was a bad idea to wake him up and he was being a bundun about it so I may have yelled at him. I can't handle an I-told-you-so right now and he might see me if I go to Chakwas." Mordin nodded and handed her a pack of medi-gel. He didn't question the word his translator didn't pick up. Shepard rarely swore in common.

"Bruising should be gone by tomorrow." She sighed, applying the medi-gel.

"I didn't just come in here for that, although I do appreciate it. I, erm, may need help practising controlling my sub-harmonics." Mordin gave her another look.

"You didn't seem bothered before. Was there something you didn't want Vakarian to know?" She stopped herself from groaning at that but her sub-harmonics chimed in for her. She didn't want anyone finding out about her feelings for Garrus, not even Mordin.

"Yeah, that I was about to wake up a potentially dangerous krogan without back-up or armour." She rolled her eyes. He just gave her another look.

"Yes. Can see what you mean. Sub-harmonics very clear." She sighed at that.

"So, teach me to stop it. There is no way all species with sub-harmonics are this open. You'd never be able to lie to each other." Mordin shook his head.

"No. Like facial expressions. You learn to control it as you grow up."

"Well, I'm a quick study so you've got until tomorrow morning to help me figure out how." He frowned at that.

"Why tomorrow morning?" She shrugged.

"That's when we'll be arriving at Horizon. I'd rather not be on a mission with Garrus with my sub-harmonics telling him everything I'm thinking." He nodded.

"Planning on apologising?" She sighed again.

"I don't know. Probably. I mean, I had a point. I am in charge and I wouldn't take that crap from anyone else so I don't see why he gets to question my command decisions like that."

"Understandable. Protective instinct. Hormone driven." She shrugged.

"I don't really care what caused it, he needs to knock it off. He can't get mad every time I make a decision he doesn't like." She began to notice the patterns in her sub-harmonics and tried to filter out the ones associated with her feelings for Garrus. It was taking effort and she was making mistakes but it was a start.

"Only argues with decisions that put you in direct danger." She groaned at that, rolling her eyes again.

"Yeah, but that's every other day Mordin. I'll end up apologising, I shouldn't have been so harsh with him, but I think he needs to cool off for a bit. We were both in the wrong and he's too damn hot-headed to see it right away." Mordin regarded her for a moment.

"Do you wish to change the subject? Do not wish to cause upset." She shook her head.

"No, upset is what I need. Or, at least, I need to be talking about Garrus to try and figure out how to shut up my sub-harmonics. It's the best way to get them to show up." She sat down and got ready to be bombarded with questions as she worked out which sub-harmonics were related to her feelings for Garrus and carefully figured out how to shut them up.