Not knowing what else to do Kirk tightened his grip on his friend's shoulder. "Of course he would ask, Spock. You are a senior,"

"Rank, rank had nothing to do with it, Jim. He didn't ask me then. He didn't ask me then."

Then. Kirk took a moment as he thought of what "then" Spock could be referring to. "You are right, Spock. I do not understand. Explain it to me."

Slowly Spock stood and walked to where he could see into the Intensive Care room and at Winstone. How could he make Jim understand when his own thoughts and, and yes, his emotions, were so conflicted about what had happened? As he looked at Winstone he not only recalled the events that had taken place and how Winstone had not asked if he could help, only said "Let me help.", how he had not asked him to do anything all that time and only when back on the ship asked for help to stand. All those times down there, after their fights, not once did he ask for help or for him to stop. Now, in all that pain he not only asked but also thanked him. Seeing the pain register being still in a severe range he wondered if it were more that Winstone had asked him or that Winstone had thanked him. Thanked him for something as inconsequential as helping him to stand when compared with all he had done without being thanked.

He was still looking at Winstone when he felt a reassuring hand again on his shoulder. How could Jim not understand? He had told him of what had happened to him on that planet. He had told him how Winstone had cared for him, helped him, got him home to the ship. He had told him how he had treated Winstone, how all those injuries that were now the cause of so much pain were his doing. He had. No. He had not told Jim how Winstone had not asked if he could help, had not asked anything. All Winstone had been was reassuring, so certain he would get him back to the ship. All he had wanted to do was help. What McCoy had said about Winstone's need to stand and walk "to help others" came back to him. He had wanted to help and had said " ." and not "How can I help you?" nor even "May I help you?" All that time he had not asked anything of or from him. After all he had done and been through all he had asked for was help to stand, to stand on his own.

Slowly he turned an looked at his so very Human friend, "How, Jim? How can I explain something to you that I am so conflicted about myself? I find myself at a total loss to understand the situation. Not just the situation of my being unable to explain my inner conflict in a manner you would understand but also the causative factors behind the conflict."

"Well," about those hazel eyes Spock saw the understanding and acceptance he had always found there, "I guess if you could tell me what the situation is that you are having trouble with we could start from there. Can you tell me what it is?"

"It, it is difficult to know where or how to explain it to you, Jim." Slowly Spock turned to face his friend and Captain, as always there was open acceptance there, "I find that I now understand that Human expression about being between a rock and a hard place although that would be a rather simplistic way of expressing what I am presently experiencing."

Kirk smiled, "Well, can you tell me what the rock is and also the hard place?"

It was the farthest thing from his mind and Spock was momentarily surprised at how simply Jim and come up with a possible solution. He did know what would be the two points he asked for. "What could be called the rock was how he first started to help me without asking and the hard place is him asking me to help him, him thanking me for helping him."

"Okay," Kirk let his optimism show and he walked with Spock back to the seats, "We will start at the rock. Why would it be the rock? What was so difficult about it?"

As Spock sat facing his friend he found it easy to answer the question without much thought, "Winstone did not ask if he could help me he just said to let him help me. All the time he helped me, fought me to clear me of the drugs, he never asked anything of me. He never asked." Again fleeting images of what he had done to Winstone came to him, he again saw how Winstone struggled to get back on is feet so many times after he had thrown him against the wall or furniture.

He never asked. He asked me. Kirk nodded to himself. Winstone had obviously naturally reacted to seeing the state Spock was in and not asked if he could help before starting to help him and then, back on the safety of the ship, had asked Spock to help him stand, thanking him for helping. He stopped. It stunned him and he realized how that would also have caused Spock to pause and question it as it was a very natural thing for some Humans. What had stunned him was that Winstone would have known the strength of a Vulcan under normal situations was many times that of a Human and to fight a Vulcan who was under the influence of drugs was almost suicidal.

"So, if his not asking you if he could help is the rock can I assume that him asking for your help is the hard place?"

For the briefest of moments Spock closed his eyes and nodded his head, "His asking me to help is part of it, Jim."

"Part?" as Kirk looked at his friend he realized that whatever the other part was was clearly the most troubling to his friend.

"He thanked me. He thanked me, the one responsible for him being like that now, being in that much pain. He thanked me for visiting him while he was still in no real condition to know of the extent of the damage I had caused and then for thanked me for helping him to stand and I did not thank him for saving my sanity and my life." Spock paced around McCoy's office in four circles before stopping before Kirk and looking at him as though uncertain what to say.

Gripping both of his friend's upper arms Kirk said, "Tell me, Spock."

"As I held him there was total acceptance and trust in his feelings towards me. I, I had not expected that. It was almost as though what I had done to him, all the damage I did to him, was nothing. All I sensed was gratitude towards me for helping him stand. How could he not feel at least some anger toward me? Throughout my career and exposure to more Humans I have often sensed great hostility, anger, suspicion, and fear yet they were totally absent from him. Only that gratitude for such a minor action."

Kirk nodded as he saw what he believed to be the problem, "You have often said that one does not thank logic, Spock. Is it at all possible that he accepts the fact that to him doing what he did to help you was only logical?"

An eyebrow suddenly arched to the hairline let Kirk know he was on the right path, "Jim, a human fighting even a half-Vulcan in the condition I was in is anything but logical."

"But you have to try to think as he might have been thinking, Spock. To him helping you, fighting you, might have been the logical thing to do."

As Spock looked into the hazel eyes of his friend he saw the truth. He heard again what McCoy had said about Winstone's need to help others, to be there if needed. Looking at it logically Winstone had seen him needing help and his basic natural instincts and beliefs over-rode rules and regulations and even self-preservation. Doing what he had done would have seemed not only logical to Winstone but also been in total accord with his true self. Very slowly he nodded, "Winstone does seem to be a most illogically logical individual. I will have some conversations with him while assisting McCoy with whatever physical therapy regime the good doctor employs to assist Winstone."

There was no mistaking the relief in the smile Jim gave him, "I think that would be good and will save you from having to think about how to thank him with words. From what I have seen and heard about the man he is one whose actions say way more about how he cares for others on this ship than words could fully express."

"We should be,"

"Captain Kirk to Security. Captain Kirk to Security."

There was no need to ask Spock to join him as they rushed together to the turbolift.

Commodore Tillis was at the console in Security with Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov standing looking at him and Officer Cullen looking out from the cell he was in. In the glance he exchanged with Spock as they walked over to Tillis Kirk could tell his First Officer was as unsure as he was about what was happening.

"Captain Kirk, would you care to look at the settings for the environment Officer Cullen is being subjected to?"

Kirk looked at the setting and saw how they had been set to clearly cause a most uncomfortable setting.

"I,"

"Now I have advised Command that we have him and will hand him over upon arrival. They have advised me of he is now being linked to twenty-five non-Human officers vanishing from ships he has been on shortly after their departure from some of the newer member planets and bases. They have given me full responsibility for his welfare on the trip to Command. Do you want me to inform them that this is the conditions you kept him under on the return to Command?"

In his mind Kirk screamed, "He is lucky to be alive, lucky I did not put him in a cell!" but he calmly looked at the four most likely culprits and could not decide which one would have done it as they all knew how to set the settings in that manner. "I,"

Tillis looked at the others then at Cullen staring at him for the cell before back at him and Kirk had seen just a hint of a predator looking at its prey when Tills had been looking at Cullen. "Before you answer that I want you to consider my proposed settings and what I see as the best treatment for the prisoner when his crimes are considered." Kirk looked at the diagram of the settings Tillis proposed as well as his suggestions for dealing with Cullen and then at the man. He had heard the man was tough but fair unless a person crossed a line or did not adhere to the regulations. Now he knew what he had heard was more than correct. He also knew that the man believed in following the rules. Tillis had noted down a complete checking of all systems in the Security Units which had a direct impact on the atmospheric conditions in each unit as well as the audio, lighting, and sanitation. There was also mention of altering the food provided to the same three meals every day till returned to Command and thirty minutes of running every eight hours to maintain fitness.

"I agree with them. I also have no doubt Mister Scott and the others will be only too pleased to see that your guidelines and proposals are adhered to."

"Good." Tillis looked at Spock, "May I ask how the officer who,"

"Officer Winstone is doing as well as can be expected and Doctor McCoy has said that he should make a full recovery in eight standard weeks."

"I will need a full report from both of you concerning the events that Cullen's actions set in motion."

"Both Doctor McCoy and I have their reports given upon their return to the ship and with details they have subsequently recalled." Kirk only glanced at Spock and then looked directly at Tillis and did not waver when it seemed the man was drilling into him with his eyes. "We will give them to you. I am sure you will find the information you need with regard to Cullen in them." While it had not been the full truth it was true enough to protect both Spock and Winstone. Tillis would possibly not know how shameful and private a Vulcan sees how to be treated as Spock was but he knew and that was where it stopped. Not all that Spock had talked with him about was in the official report. All McCoy had said about what Winstone had said was that he had seen Spock and known what to do

"I am sure I will, Captain Kirk. With what I have gathered on the fates of the fifteen officers who we have, unfortunately, lost because of Cullen's actions over the last three standard years, as well as the information we gathered from those on Biron Base Twenty-eight and what is most likely in the reports you are to give me, we will the material we need to make the penalty for those officers who are in any way connected to such actions much worse than the one the presently exists. We are certain that there may be two others like Cullen, officers who are so good at camouflaging the real reason they want deep space trips that the commanding officers of the ships they are on are unaware of the roles they have played in the loss of a crew member. It was Cullen's wanting to go back down on our return on the pretext of helping with the return of the officer that made me wonder and with the two reports you will give me we will know more about what to watch for." For a moment he looked at each of the officers before him then back at Kirk, "I believe your officers will have no objection to my suggested conditions for Cullen on the way back to Command. I further believe that they may think of other ways we can best prepare him for whatever awaits him afterwards."

Kirk found it difficult not to smile as he remembered what he had seen in those suggestions and how he knew that he and his senior crew could most decidedly think of other ways, "I totally agree, Sir. I am sure Mister Scot will ensure we get to Command as soon as possible."

Tillis all but smiled back at him, "I am sure he will, Captain as long as his actions do not endanger his bairns."

"Aye, I'll get ye and it back there as quick as I can but will nay risk me bairns. Now, if ye'll excuse me I'll get back to them."

One by one the others left till it was just Tillis, Kirk and Spock and Tilllis looked directly at Spock, "I know this is none of my business and will not be reported but was it in his recovery of you that Officer Winstone suffered injuries while assisting you to overcome the effects of drugs administered to you by Cullen and or his associates? A common thing he did was use powerful drugs which."

"Commodore, that is," Kirk felt a surge of pure anger and was set to tell his exactly what he thought of asking that when Spock raised a hand.

"Officer Winstone assisted me by getting me away from the men Cullen had left me with. He insured I was kept safe till the Enterprise returned then devised a way of getting me back onto the ship. In assisting me he worsened the condition for which he was left there to recover from. I am to assist Doctor McCoy with his care and treatment."

"I am sure Doctor McCoy and Officer Winstone will appreciate your assistance." Tillis looked back at Kirk, "I believe now would be a good time for you and your senior crew to go and discuss those suggestions, Captain. The main thing is to ensure that he not only experience some of what those he took endured but also that he is in good condition when he appears before the hearing at Command. I will be in my quarters should I need to be contacted."

Once Tillis had gone Kirk contacted the others and asked them to meet in the main briefing room and Spock asked McCoy to join them as soon as he had another doctor to watch over Winstone. Once McCoy arrived, carrying a tray with two bottles and seven glasses, Kirk turned on the computer so they could all see the proposals Tillis had given. For a moment there was silence then McCoy said, "The daily required calorie intake for a man Cullen's size, a good cardio workout, sufficient rest, and plenty of mental stimulation. I see nothing to be concerned about."

The others all agreed and looked at Spock when he had not commented. Finally he said, "Cullen should be most relieved that no Vulcan was allowed to design how he was to be treated after what he has done to so many."

McCoy poured liquid from the smaller of the two bottles into one glass then filled the other six glasses with liquid from the other bottle and handed Spock the one glass and let the others each take a glass which they all raised when he said, "To friends who are family and to a long and enjoyable future with them."

As Spock sipped his he nodded at McCoy, it was a non-alcoholic liquor he knew would have cost McCoy a great deal more than the larger bottle the group was sharing. As he looked at those around him he realized McCoy was right, they were family. They were his close family as was that man in Sickbay and he suspected and accepted that the rest of the crew were akin to distant cousins.

FIN

A/N Cold and windy night - power flickering on and off (oh, joy). Thanks for reading. HAVE FUN!