"I'm sorry,"

She heard him saying that from the other side of the door, and her heart just wanted to cry again. How could someone that she just wanted to hate so much be the one who she loved the most?

"It's too late," she murmured in barely a whisper –but she was sure he could hear that. "It's too late, Eriol."

All she wanted was just to be happy. Did it cost that much?

Chameleon

Chapter 13 : The Decision

It was morning already, and the graceful whiteness of snows were still falling to the ground, forming a smooth, fair layer on it. Tomoyo was sitting on the chair in the cottage's bedroom, staring at that beautiful view outside the wooden window. It felt so long ago that Eriol had told her about his secret –though it was only the previous night he did. She exhaled a deep breath to get herself ready. And hoped, that it was for the last time she readied herself. She had spent some hours to prepare herself as she knew that sooner or later she needed to face him anyway.

Tomoyo turned the doorknob, and the door swung opened, revealing the sight of the almost-empty living room in front of her then. Chin's up, eyes calmly looked straight, she slowly walked into the room.

Now, as the sunrays got in from the window, it was easier for her to examine the room. Not that there was much to examine though. It was a pretty spacious room, with very few furniture. There was a table, an armchair, another chair, and the fireplace with fire burning in it –warming the freezing room a bit.

He was there. Standing near the window. He laid the side of his body to the wall and his back was facing him. And though he had acknowledged her presence behind him, he chose to remain backing her.

She stared at his back. Not really knowing what to say, but realizing that she had to break the silence. She just had to. There were things that they needed to talk about.

"…What are you going to do from now?" Tomoyo asked after heaving a sigh.

He hesitantly turned around and looked at her. Her blue gown was a mess; the same thing went with her raven hair. And her eyes…her eyes were red and tired, and there was this coldness replacing her usual warmth gaze.

Seeing her that way, realizing how much pain he had caused to her, his heart wrenched. And for the first time ever, he let go of his selfishness, trying to guess and understand what she wanted –what she needed. Because he swore. If it was for her then… If she wanted him to bend down and apologize, he would bent just right immediately. If she wanted him to suffer, then might pain torture his body and soul. And even if she wanted his death, then let the Fates cut his string of life. If it were to return what he had taken away from her –her happiness – he would just do anything.

"What are you going to do now?" he returned the question.

She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know,"

Silence.

"Look, Tomoyo –"

"Eriol?" she cut his words. He closed his mouth and waited for her words' continuation.

"Why don't you kill me?"

He paused and stared at her. "What?"

She spoke with her calmest voice and tone. "Kill me. Why don't you do that? You've told me… those things. And now I'm a living witness. Won't it be a problem for you and the rest guys in your…group?"

Eriol thought of it. It would. He had known it since the very first. That he eventually had to kill her. But he must admit, even from the very beginning, that this girl… this Daidouji Tomoyo girl… was someone that he could never kill.

He must have spoken something about his refusal to kill her, because she spoke again like this.

"W-why?" her voice quivered. A sinister glint in her lavender eyes, with a twitch of mocking smirk formed on her lips. "You…love to kill, right? God, you killed Soujiro because you were…bored! And you… Hiiragizawa…you hate me, right?! Why it must be that difficult to kill someone as…useless as me?! Di-didn't you say you get pleasure by blowing someone's head's off?!"

"…"

"Didn't you?!!"

"I-I did,"

"Then?!"

"But I can not do it to you,"

She looked up to see his eyes. To find out those mischievous, evil sparks in his eyes. To prove that he had not and never would changed. That he would always be the Eriol who only wanted to see people suffered.

Tomoyo gripped to that faith –the fear that somehow told her to be strong, so she would not fall into his traps and evil schemes again. Oh, but she knew. She realized that things weren't the same. He was not the same. And he was not lying. She knew –when seeing those sapphire gems showed nothing but pure gentleness and selflessness.

But it was still so unfair. True, that she had once hoped that he would look at her that way, look at her as if she was his most precious thing in his life. Look at her with that kind of securing yet warm gazes.

But how could what she get was only pain –instead of the overwhelming warmth? No, he had no right to look at her that way. He had betrayed her, lied to her, and hurt her. She hated him. She hated him so. But she had also…

A tear rolled down from her stern eyes, falling down on her cold and expressionless face.

"You have taken my happiness away. Y-you killed Soujiro, you've tricked me and the other into believing that you were someone noble and decent. You even tried to kill me. Y-you…bastard… I-I don't think I can never forgive you…"

"I understand that,"

She suddenly felt so mad. She was frustrated; she wanted to cry, to scream, to rip his skin, but at the same time, wanting to hug him for comfort, just anything. Anything to take the pain away.

"No, you don't! You don't understand that, Eriol!! Do you know HOW MUCH I just want to hate you?! Just hating you –for it will be less painful for me?!" she screamed. "But I can't!! No matter how hard I try, I could never hate you!"

"Tomoyo, I –"

"I-I can't understand it," she spoke again. "I can't understand everything! Why did you have to kill Soujiro, why did you have to ever enter my life, why do you have to make me fall in love with you?!"

"There's no such feelings, Daidouji," he quickly interrupted her words. "Whatever you might think you feel towards me, it's nonsense. It's not true. You… deserve someone much better than me…Yes, you do."

Her violet eyes narrowed slowly as trying to study his expression, but it was his unreadable mask again that she found.

"I-I'm going to leave you in peace," he finally spoke.

She blinked, before her face hardened again. "…Yes. That's for the best,"

Eriol nodded in agreement. "I'll send the divorcing paper to your old home tomorrow. And I…I'll make sure that I –and the other men from the group – will never appear in your life ever again," he spoke.

"…Alright,"

He then took his hanged coat and put it on. "Well, good bye then, Daidouji Tomoyo,"

Not averting her gaze from him, she murmured back, "Good bye… Hiiragizawa Eriol."

The dark-haired guy was about to turn and leave by the door, but instead, he walked towards her and bent down slightly. Eriol parted his lips –wanting to say this thing he had been meaning to say – , but as no words came out, he ended up caressing her cheek gently, touching her soft petal lips. They were close –awfully close, and she didn't move an inch. She didn't even think, just letting her heart to lead the way then.

Tomoyo closed her eyes, she could feel his warm lips on hers and she let all those emotions out, as his emotion rushing in a kiss.

His gentle kiss told her things. His guilt, apologies… , and love. She completely surrendered that time, and she kissed him back just as mild –just as weak, before they parted away at the same time.

"I am so sorry," he murmured.

Tomoyo nodded and Eriol then stood up. Giving her one last look, he turned around, walked out of the cottage, and closed the door behind him carefully.

She sighed.

It's over now.

Tbc..