(Chapter 13)
It had to be a nightmare, there was no other explanation for it. His vision was fuzzed around the edges, his mind blank and malleable. The voice told him to do something and he did. He was no longer himself but he knew there was more... something else if he could just wake up.
No... don't make me... Ok... just don't hurt them. I'll do what you say. Don't hurt them. Don't...
He found himself sitting on the edge of a bed, a very nice one like in mansions or a luxury hotel in Europe. He wore expensive silk pajamas. He liked silk but these weren't his. This wasn't his place but he was here wherever HERE was. His manner was anything but lively, eyes staring blankly ahead at the wallpapered walls, no thoughts of his own but for that voice giving him instructions. He had to listen or else. They promised him they wouldn't hurt anyone but it would be up to him.
"Emre... you aren't dressed yet. Today is your debut. Don't you want to show off your skills?"
His eyes turned slowly to see a figure standing off to the left. Their face was blurred but he knew who it was, dark blue eyes staring at him the only thing in focus. He wanted to speak but he couldn't, not unless they let him. He was their puppet to do with as they wished. He just wanted to be finished with them and go back... He had to go back somewhere.
"Get dressed. You're going to see your friends again. You're going home, Emre."
Home? You're letting me go? I'm free?
The thoughts flew through his mind as he made to open his lips and speak, defy orders but the man held up a single finger and he was made silent by the motion. They had made him compliant, nothing more than a tool in their belt. He could only obey what they told him to do, a darkness lurking at the edge of his memory. They had made him do something before. Something bad. He felt a low sound grow in his throat when suddenly he was up and held in a tight grip around the neck, breath catching as he tried to react but couldn't. The man held him up as he stood on his tip toes to try to fight but his body was trapped in whatever spell they'd cast upon him.
"Remember your place... no reunion until our bargain is completed. You want them safe don't you, Emre?"
He felt his eyes widen at the subtle threat, body growing limp as the strangle hold let go and he could breath again. His legs gave out as he collapsed to the floor, looking up from where he sat he nodded obediently. He could think of little else that would keep him from feeling worse pain than he had already experienced. The man smiled but it was not a good smile. Someone else used to smile at him, tell him he did good... told him he had a place. It wasn't this man but someone else... He tried to remember who, this dark eyed man smoothing his hair like a child. The motion calmed him despite his fear and helplessness. He should be resisting but his mind was trying to recall another person who had been kind to him. Another life before this one. The man with him sighed boredly.
"Good... good. Now, dress. We have work to do."
The man's dark blue eyes flashed coldly down at him, no emotion. Despite his conditioning, he saw brown eyes there; A memory of someone else before it faded and the man left him, the sound of the door echoing as if from a long way off. Everything felt surreal and fuzzy as he mechanically rose, walking to the far end of the room and opened up the closet. He pulled out a dark turtleneck sweater in black, a black leather jacket and black stone washed jeans. He quickly laid the clothes on the bed, moving to another door, stripping from his fancy pajamas and entering a resplendent shower. His mind didn't notice much, his thoughts mostly blank but for what the man told him. He could only follow his orders, the hot water doing nothing more than easing a little of the tension he thought he felt, eyes closing.
You can be a con or a man. You can't be both...
Someone else was talking now, the dark eyed man's voice a low murmuring behind this new one as his mind seemed to seek out refuge in long lost memories. Had he any thoughts of his own beyond his current place? He tried to recall who he had been.
You do good here. You really do...
The voice was fatherly, maybe more like a big brother almost. He knew who spoke, or thought he did but THEY had conditioned him to forget. He had to forget or bad things would happen. His eyes opened as he looked down at his bare chest and saw the bruises and marks from his initial rebellion. His arms had track marks from injections he didn't remember getting although his mind sensed the pain somewhere hidden away. He felt nothing at all but knew he'd had a life before. The memory of it remained although it was more a feeling than actual fact. They had stolen his memories and soul. He could only do as they asked until they set him free and yet he was remembering vague bits and phrases of something more...
I'm the only one what?
His lips mouthed the words he had said then under duress although he would gladly say them now: The only one I trust.
()()()
Five days passed since Neal's disappearance and supposed kidnapping. The man had simply vanished, no sign of where he had been taken or if he was still alive. Mozzie stayed in touch which meant Atkins and his theory Neal had run was false but Hughes no longer wanted to hear about the ex-con's innocent so Peter had given up talking and continued doing more searching on the side. Mozzie finally accepted that he was as eager to find their mutual friend so the con kept the agent in the loop but so far there had been little to go on beyond the second set of memories Peter had from Friday.
Diana had done good on the forensics for the dried blood. It was indeed Peter's. There was still the possibility it was there for some other reason but her check of the road's shoulder near the Knox building had fortunately or unfortunately yielded more blood samples that had turned out to be the agent's. Today Kasein would be given by the Bureau into the prison system permanently. They had been investigating the idea he might know of Caffrey's whereabouts but was so far clean so the investigation had turned to exigent circumstances concerning what they had really wanted him for: gun running, arms dealing and miscellaneous other things they'd discovered at the site on Friday. In the end it worked out but Neal's location was still unknown. Ruiz was taking the case now and would transport Kasein.
"Peter..."
He looked up from where he sat outside the small cafe down the street from his Brooklyn home. He could walk a bit better now, Satchmo sniffing at Jones' hand as the agent reached to pet him. He was still keeping Elizabeth out of the loop until he had more to work on. It was necessary until he spoke to Reese today. Jones was coming to help him to the Bureau, a not so unexpected visitor so his wife would let him go. El still worried about him and for good reason he thought.
"Walk with me."
Peter eased himself from the chair, his leg still aching but it wasn't weeping anymore. Satchmo walked slowly for once as if aware of his master's hurt leg as the two men walked.
"I guess we have to spill to Hughes, boss?"
Jones spoke quietly, both men bundled up against the weather. He nodded back with a sober expression.
"Yeah... I just wish I knew what HE was planning. I don't understand why they need Neal or myself."
He had told them about the additional memory the day they'd left. It meant something and seemed to be a key element to whatever The Turk had planned. They knew now that they would have to go through official channels to get an autopsy on the man they had killed. He was not Altan Sahin but they had no proof otherwise than his dreams.
They reached the front steps of the Burke home, Peter walking up with a little grunt of pain as he let Satchmo go and the dog ran up ahead of him, Jones right behind.
"How's the leg?"
Jones looked like he was having second thoughts on tricking El into letting him out. Peter shrugged back.
"As good as it can be for having been shot. I'm fine. Trust me, Clinton."
They shared a look, the junior agent still uncertain when the door opened and El peeked out.
"Honey... uhm, Hi Jones. I thought I heard someone talking outside."
Satchmo scooted in as El moved aside and ushered the two men in. She was chatting in a friendly manner with Jones while hugging Peter and looking at his leg in a concerned manner as he gave a little grunt of discomfort.
"I'm fine, hun. I just bumped into Jones at the cafe. He was coming to take me to the office to check up on some things I missed."
Peter waited for the agent to take his lead, Jones nodding in agreement without any look of guilt or subterfuge as El blinked back confused.
"You still have another week off, Peter. Are you sure he needs to go in today, Jones?"
Peter was feeling guilty for lying but he could see that same expression hidden in Jones' eyes when El turned to take the lead off Satchmo. They quickly changed their expressions back to normal when she turned back.
"Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry to take him away but I will make sure Peter comes back safely. Just some paperwork about the incident."
She crossed her arms but nodded, her look a little less worried than before.
"Just don't keep him too long. And don't forget your meds, Peter."
El handed him a bottle which he dropped into his pocket as he nodded obediently and turned to leave with Jones. Peter kissed his wife one last time as Jones went to pull the car up. She whispered to him quietly.
"I hope you find him."
Peter blinked then realized she knew about his searching for Neal behind Hughes' back. They just smiled as he kissed her again and winked back before leaving to the Bureau.
()()()
Hughes wasn't happy to hear what they had been doing. Not only that, he glared at both Jones and Barrigan for going behind his back. Peter took the brunt of it, insisting he was the one who told them to help. After the initial barrage of questions subsided it was just Peter and Reese, the older agent wiping at his face tiredly.
"Peter... this is why I didn't like Caffrey. You've changed and I can't say I like it. What proof do you have that could make me change my mind on this? I have to let Atkins know and... put you on leave for insubordination."
The agent looked like he was less than happy about it but like a father scolding a son, Peter knew he deserved whatever happened. He had initiated this search.
"Do what you want with me sir, I just need to be sure what I remember is truth. So far everything's come back positive. Diana found my blood at a scene it shouldn't have been which proves that atleast one of those supposedly 'false' memories is real. Just hear me out... please."
Reese looked angrier than usual but nodded, arms crossed tight over his chest before he motioned for Peter to speak.
"I believe The Turk is still alive. Here me out... sir. Please."
He told him about the additional memory but not understanding what the words meant. His memory was still incomplete, only bits and pieces twisted around in his dreams. It was all he had to go on but if the blood splatter proved he had been somewhere he shouldn't have been, then why wouldn't this other memory be false?
"I'll have the paperwork set up as some kind of authentication process. Tell them we think there was a mix-up in the paperwork. Don't make me regret this."
()()()
It was almost 2 PM when Peter got the call at home. El had thankfully stepped out for some groceries when Reese spoke to him.
"You were right, Peter. I don't understand why but this still makes things difficult."
He understood what his boss meant. He had been compromised that day and it would have to be reported. It didn't matter so long as they figured out where and why for Neal. Kasein was the key and now he could get Jones to talk to him.
"Reese... whatever you think I need to do, I'll do it. I just want to find Caffrey."
They finished their call, Jones and Barrigan going to interview the gun runner before he was transferred later that day. It would be his last chance to ask what the man knew about Maryam and Sahin. Maybe the only chance they had of finding out what made the man want Neal so badly.
()()()
Peter was watching a game, his mind anywhere but in the present when his cell rang. Elizabeth stirred where she slept beside him on the sofa, her head in his lap as he screened the name and picked up. He would have to tell her what happened but for now...
"Burke..."
Jones was calling, telling him that Kasein wished to speak to him directly and only him. Hughes had approved it and they were going to pick him up within the next few minutes. They only had an hour before Kasein would be taken to his new home so he had to be ready. Peter hung up as the call ended and he gazed down at his sleeping wife. It looked like it was time to tell her everything.
"El... hun, wake up."
It took a moment but she opened up those beautiful blue eyes and gazed up at him with a peaceful look. It made him feel worse he was about to disappoint her.
"Is your leg falling asleep... I'm so sorry hun."
He shook his head, helping her sit up as he gazed into her eyes.
"There's something... something I've been meaning to tell you. It's very important."
El wiped at her face, giving a quiet yawn as she nodded knowingly.
"You've been looking for Neal. I already know that, hun. I don't blame you in the least."
She hugged him, leaning her head on his shoulder as they held one another but he couldn't let it go any longer.
"I haven't... just been looking for Neal. There's something I didn't tell you about Friday. Something I just found out about. Those nightmares I've been having..."
He started to tell her about them all, everything he remembered and finally about shooting himself in the leg. The last part made her pale as she took both of her arms in his hands and shook her head at him in denial.
"It's not true. You're still on shock hun. You didn't hurt yourself."
It was more than obvious she did believe him but didn't want to for the principle of it. If he had shot himself, coerced or not, it meant more than him just losing his job. Peter would be stigmatized as unreliable if it got out to his work. Hughes knew but he was keeping it quiet until they found out what Kasein had to say.
"So they want you to talk to this rival of his? Is it safe? Should I go with you?"
He shook his head.
"I'll be safe. I promise you."
El nodded, hugging him tightly. It was short-lived as the doorbell rang and then they heard a knock. Jones wasn't kidding they'd be there fast. Peter stood, tucking in his shirt and slipping his shoes on as El followed him to the door. He grabbed up his wallet and pushed it into his pocket along with his cell.
"I'll be back before you know it, hun. This could be the key to finding Neal. I'll be careful."
She nodded as they kissed then opened up the door. Diana stood there looking official, gun obvious under her blazer.
"Boss, we have to go now."
He gave a quick look at Elizabeth who smiled softly back.
"Good luck, hun."
()()()
The drive to the holding facility took longer than expected, an accident holding them up as they finally pulled up to the building to find Ruiz and company already taking Kasein through the back entrance as they rushed to meet up. Peter had to know what the man knew about Sahin and Maryam.
It was close as they caught the group exiting the building to a waiting vehicle, Kasein dressed in normal clothes but cuffed securely as Ruiz and his men led him out.
"Ruiz..."
Peter was breathless as he approached the men, two of the agents having their gun at the ready until everyone relaxed.
"Agent Burke... I have at timetable to keep."
Peter held up a hand and pulled the other agent aside speaking quietly.
"Five minutes... that's all I need."
Ruiz shook his head as they continued to move Kasein into the vehicle without stopping. Peter moved closer but one of the agents with the group made a threatening move, Diana taking up the defense when Ruiz finally turned and sighed.
"Get in."
Peter blinked uncertain what to think as the agents looked confused around both men. Ruiz made a face, pointing to the side door of the vehicle.
"If you want to talk to him, you'll have to come along. I'll send you back with another agent but we have to leave now."
It didn't take him two seconds to nod, turning to Diana who said she'd follow after calling Reese with the news. Peter ducked into the vehicle near the caged barrier Kasein was behind. The man was stoic and watched him and the other agents curiously from where he sat. Peter didn't know much about the man other than what was on paper but he was curious to see what was inside his head.
"Ok... everyone in? We're off."
Ruiz had taken everyone's attention to the front of the vehicle as Peter listened along with the rest of the agents. He heard a soft cough, turning to see Kasein looking at him a bit more curiously than he liked.
"You're him aren't you?"
Peter wasn't sure what he meant as Kasein smile slightly, the agent near them both glancing at the two curiously. He moved slightly closer, Kasein doing the same.
"I had nothing to do with your friend's disappearance. That was Altan. He has a blood feud with my family and with your friend."
He didn't understand the last part but it was obvious meant to pique his curiosity more.
"Tell me what you know."
Kasein sat back, a look of denial there but Peter knew it was just an act. The man felt he had the upper hand which in a way he did but Peter had to play what cards he had.
"You're going away for a very long time..."
Peter left his comment open, the man finally nodding as he leaned forward again, eyes watching the other agents around them.
"For your ears only. Your friend killed someone but it was not his fault. Altan caused pain for everyone trying to get revenge for an act that caused all of this."
Kasein paused, a pained look on his face that surprised the agent. It was starting to make sense as he remembered the picture. The man in the picture and the woman.
"She was your daughter... Maryam."
Kasein was quiet but finally nodded, a slight flush to his tan cheeks.
"His sister married me in secret. Our families were not on good terms."
The man looked sad, a glassy look to his eyes he wiped away despite his cuffed wrists. Peter understood now. This was what Neal had tried to tell him about but he still didn't quite understand the specifics. He needed more.
"We had Maryam. We were happy for a time but Altan found out. He wanted his sister and niece with their family. Aisha disagreed and their father killed her for breaking the family trust. I kept Maryam but Altan wanted me dead blaming me for his sister's murder by their father. I had to protect my daughter so I made those pictures... they were false but I thought he would go away if Maryam were in danger. He just became more determined."
Peter understood now but there was still something missing. Some last element... He waited to hear it from Kasein when he felt the vehicle stop and watched everyone getting ready to disembark. His time was up and he still had too many questions and no idea where Neal was. He needed more time.
"What happened to Maryam? Why this blood feud? Why Neal?"
The agents were getting impatient, Peter holding them off as Ruiz exited to see what the hold up was.
"Neal as you call him... he stole from Altan. That made him the perfect pawn. Altan used his methods to mold the young man into what he needed. Those that didn't listen to Altan were made to obey. Your friend obeyed too well and instead of killing me..."
Peter had to move aside, the agents taking Kasein out of the cage as Ruiz pulled him out of the way. They were taking Muhammad in and now Peter knew the truth. It explained so many things. Neal had told him he'd accidentally killed someone. It made sense why he hated guns. Kasein was being led away across a short courtyard when a silvery reflection off the man's head made him take notice. Peter turned to see something off to the far side of the road, a glint of light that made him squint.
"Agent Burke... Agent Barrigan called to say she would come pick you up. Agent?"
Ruiz was talking to him but Peter kept watching the glint until his eyes widened and he realized what he was seeing. He had no time to warn anyone but to react as he threw himself at Kasein, Ruiz giving him a warning look until the first shot hit, Peter wincing as it grazed his arm.
"BACKUP! We NEED backup!"
Ruiz was yelling now, others coming out to find the source of the gunshot as Peter slumped against the gun runner, the man looking up at him curiously.
"He will kill you. Altan will make him kill us both and live to remember what happened. He's done it before. It's what killed Maryam."
Peter nodded, getting up enough to peek over at the vehicle as he moved their prisoner towards it for cover. If this was Neal shooting, he was an ace and wouldn't miss. The agent knew that all too well.
"He's not a killer."
Kasein frowned at him, Ruiz and the other agents also behind the vehicle for cover as they waited for backup from the prison and FBI.
"Burke... why is someone shooting at us and how did you know?"
Peter explained about the basics that someone was after Kasein and they suspected The Turk hadn't been killed like they thought. He left out the other details and said there was a hit man hired to kill the gun runner but didn't mention Caffrey for obvious reasons.
"Would have been nice for you to tell me. I'll take this up with Hughes..."
The agent held up a hand before Ruiz could say more, standing up as he glanced through the windows beyond. The glint was still there.
"Let me handle this. Keep him safe."
Ruiz looked confused as Peter stood, his arm stinging when he used it to pull himself up. He turned to go around the side, out into the open when he felt a hand grab his good arm.
"Burke..."
()()()
He stared out across the road from his perch. He wasn't far from his target so he could see everything as he'd been told it would be. He only had this one task to do and he would be freed. The man promised him.
Movement caught his eye and he had his finger on the trigger ready. It won't only take one shot and he would be free. Nothing more...
"Shoot Emre. Protect your friends."
The voice spoke and he could see them... several men down below through the scope. One was familiar to him, something making him want to call out but he was bound to silence. The other man gave him a cold feeling, his finger tightening on the trigger as they centered in the cross-hairs. He would kill him and protect his friends. He could do this.
He saw one of them turn and then they were out of view as the shot fired but missed, a curse behind him making his blood run cold.
"You want your friends to be hurt? Kill him... or you will never see them again."
His head nodded as Neal concentrated on the lack of motion. They were behind the van now but someone would come out. He would get them when they did. The man was pacing behind him, shoes echoing across the space as he did his best to ignore it and watch for the target. He perked up as someone came out, stepping in front of the van and stared up at him. The footsteps paused, moving closer as he sensed them crouched beside him.
"He left you... left you to go back to prison and rot. Do you think he cares where you are, Emre? Would he come back for you as I have?"
Neal felt his finger squeezing tighter on the trigger, a memory of something making his eyes narrow at the figure in his cross-hairs. He had been left behind. Abandoned.
You did this... You had the treasure all along!
His finger tightened on the trigger and he felt the bullet released, the silencer making it sound like a pop of champagne only muted. The rifle only kicked a tiny bit letting him know the projectile had left and the scope showed him the target hit, body flying back heavily against the vehicle, there was a dent as they slid down to the ground. A part of him felt satisfied, his finger still gripping the gun in a vice-like grip until that voice spoke again.
"So much better than I expected... Emre."
Neal didn't move, his body stiff as he continued to stare at the still figure at the other end of the scope. They didn't move, a part of him watching for them to get up.
Breath...
He heard the voice from his memory and felt relaxed, safe almost as his eyes moved back to the scope.
You do good here. You really do...
Neal felt a wetness drip down his cheeks and realized he was crying, looking down at the still figure and remembering who his real enemy was.
"Emre... listen to me when I talk to you!"
He felt a hand on his shoulder something coming to life in him. As if possessed by someone else, Neal found himself pulling a pistol from inside his jacket, turning to push it against Altan's temple. The man smiled at him coldly, a laugh erupting from his throat. He wasn't scared but that only angered him more, his finger tightening on the pistol trigger.
"He's... de... dead. You..."
Altan kept smiling, no fear in his face as those dark eyes met his own.
"You pulled the trigger, Neal. He's dead from your hand. Not mine. I have nothing to regret."
Neal felt himself hesitate. He saw the image of Peter in his mind laying on the ground. He had killed him... The world seemed to spin suddenly, vision graying at the edges as he collapsed to his knees and felt his body trembling. Neal had killed Peter. His mind went back to that day when he'd been taken by Baris / Sahin so many years ago. It had been just like today only... only when he hesitated Sahin had grabbed his hand and the fatal shot had hit her. He watched the little girl slump in Kasein's arms and the memory made him shake even more.
"You are more a killer than you think, Neal. You have killed twice now and both innocents. There is nobody to help you anymore."
He felt cold metal against his forehead, eyes looking up to see Baris staring down at him. He was alone... Neal had nothing left even if he could escape. He had killed the only person who believed in him.
"So much easier than I could have imagined. Good-bye, Emre."
Neal closed his eyes, a vision of Peter there staring at him with that disappointed look he always had when he did wrong.
I'm sorry, Peter.
His eyes opened and widened, Baris/Sahin smiling coldly as the report was heard. Neal collapsed to the ground in a dead faint, no pain. He thought it would hurt more, his whole body relaxed as hands touched his arm and shook him.
"Caffrey... hey wake up."
Neal didn't respond. He had to be dreaming. He was dead wasn't he? The voice and hands persisted, someone grasping him under his arms and lifting him up slightly.
"Caffrey... We might need an EMT."
His eyes started to open, a swarthy face blurrying before him. When it focused he could see Jones crouched over him.
"Jo... nes?"
Clinton smiled, a look of relief on his face but did the agent know what he'd done? Neal tried to move to escape but his body was still under the influence of whatever Altan had given him so he felt weak and collapsed against the agent tiredly.
"Cuff... me, Jones."
Neal held out his wrists but the agent stared at him oddly, shaking his head as two men came with a stretcher. He took the man's hand in his and plead with him to cuff him, voice slurring as exhaustion hit him and he slumped back against the stretcher. They strapped him in as Jones squeezed his hand and drew closer.
"Everything will be ok, Caffrey."
oOoOoOo
Author's Note: The bad guy is dead but what did Neal do!