Jasper immediately set up the couch for Peridot upon arriving at her apartment, giving her the fluffiest blankets and her softest pillow. Lapis grunted angrily at her when she asked the blue-haired woman to find something for them to eat. She took this gesture with a grain of salt, figuring there would be a little tension between them the moment she decided to bring Peridot back to her home with her.
"I'm going to shower." Peridot stated simply, before grabbing a towel out of her bag, and disappearing into the bathroom.
The moment Peridot left their line of sight, Lapis was all over her, pushing her towards the wall and kissing her chest furiously. She was speechless, unsure of what to say as the smaller woman shoved her hands up under her shirt and unlatched her bra in a matter of seconds.
"Whoa, Lapis... What's wrong?" She asked, grabbing Lapis' shoulders and holding her in place.
"Wrong? Nothing's wrong I... Do I have to have a reason to ravish my girlfriend with kisses?" Lapis pouted, looking away from her with a pink blush upon her cheeks.
Jasper reached inside both of her sleeves and took her straps off, before tossing her bra off to the side. She studied Lapis' face briefly, before a grin stretched across her own face.
"Someone's jealous."
Lapis glared at her, before looking quickly towards the bedroom, then looking back at her.
"So." She whispered.
Jasper continued to smirk at her.
"You can wipe that shit eating grin off your face."
"How about you just suck my-"
"Is that what you want?"
"Excuse me?"
"Forget it." Lapis turned on her heel to walk away, and Jasper reached out to embrace her from behind; fondling her breasts over her top, and kissing the back of her neck. Lapis shivered, letting out a surprised moan, and melting against her.
"Ahem."
Jasper stepped back, letting Lapis go and making eye contact with Peridot, who stood watching them awkwardly from the bedroom doorway. Lapis slunk off into the kitchen, covering her face with her hands. Jasper couldn't help but think her embarrassment was super cute. That girl drove her crazy with desire; if it wouldn't have been for Peridot, she would have stripped her down right then and there.
"I would like to get some rest now. Please be quiet and make sure all lights are off." Peridot said, sticking her hands into the pockets of her pajama pants and plopping down into the couch. "I wake up at exactly 6am, and would prefer a ride to school at that time."
"Well that's going to be hard, seeing as how I wake up at 4am and go to work..."
"Well it wouldn't be an issue if I wouldn't have left my car at school."
"Point taken. I'll just go in late to work then..."
"What!?" Lapis yelled from the kitchen, dropping whatever dish she was holding, on the floor. "Un-fucking-believable!" She stomped out of the kitchen with her hands on her hips. "You're going to go in late to work just because she's whining about needing a ride!? Stupid!"
"Lapis, She-" Jasper was interrupted again by Lapis' angry outbursts.
"No! Don't even! I need some space..."
Jasper frowned as Lapis stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her. She felt herself become a bit angry at this outburst of emotion, wondering if it was even worth her time to confront her on the situation. She clenched her fists, and walked towards the door.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Peridot said, causing Jasper to change her mind and sit down on the couch. Peridot lifted her feet for her to sit, and laid them on Jasper's lap. Jasper couldn't help but notice the blonde even had scars around her thin ankles, and up the backs of her heels.
"Y'know, dating Lapis, is a helluva lot different than dating you. You got mad, and buried yourself into your work; you never had outbursts like this. I was always the one... but she... She gets mad and blows up in your face when you're just trying to help a friend out." She growled, her face contorted into an angry grimace, while her fingers drew lines across the old scars on Peridot's feet.
"You're an idiot." Peridot said, pulling her feet away from her fingers, and pushing them against Jasper's thigh and shifting herself into a more comfortable position.
Jasper scowled, wanting to argue, but she figured Peridot was probably right. Instead, she kicked her feet up onto the coffee table and made herself comfortable.
"How am I an idiot?" She asked.
"Lapis is probably feeling insecure about me being here, especially after being in my dorm and... seeing some things she probably shouldn't have. She seems to have a very delicate state of mind right now. Give her some space, then approach her. Gently."
Wow. When did Peridot become so... wise? Jasper couldn't remember the last time she had had a real conversation with the blonde woman. She had almost felt bad about it while she sat there thinking to herself, her thoughts jumping from one idea to the next. An awkward silence fell between them, Jasper had so many questions for Peridot about Y.D, but she didn't want to push her into talking if she didn't want to.
"Jasper..." Lapis' soft spoken voice called from the doorway of the bedroom, and she looked over, resting her cheek against the palm of her hand.
"Yes?" She mumbled.
"I would... I would really like it if you came to bed now." She said shyly, holding her arms behind her back, not making eye contact with her.
"Alright. Night Peridot." She pushed up off the couch and followed her small girlfriend into the bedroom. She watched Lapis in her blue nightgown tuck herself into bed, and turn her back to her. So, she pulled off her pants, changed into a long t-shirt, and climbed in next to her. She pulled Lapis into her arms, and laid her arm gently across her side.
She could feel Lapis squirm uncomfortably, but she was almost determined to suffocate her with her affection at that moment, so she would cool down and stop being so mad.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry I'm just... She had so many pictures of you two at her dorm... She's definitely not over you... She's so much better than me..."
"Lapis, you don't need to worry about her. She's... I can't just let Y.D continue to harass her, did you see those bruises...?" Jasper said quietly, carefully monitoring the level of her voice as her lips were inches from Lapis' ear.
"I will try to get along with her, Jasper, but only because she seems to mean a lot to you, and I don't want to cause any trouble..."
"You're not trouble, Lapis. I'm not gonna just throw you aside... Ugh... I love you Lapis."
Lapis turned her face a little, and Jasper could see the hint of a blush on her cheeks. She squeezed her tightly once more, before they fell asleep.
Xxx
Jasper was dreaming of the biggest, juiciest strawberry cake she had ever seen. It's frosting was so sweet, it left a gritty taste on her tongue. She went to pick a fat berry off the cake, when it turned into a mouth suddenly, and started to scream at her.
She woke up to the sound of a shrill scream erupting from the living room. She looked over at Lapis, who was still fast asleep next to her, her soft snoring confirming it. She carefully slid out of the bed, and went into the living room, only to see nobody there. At first glance it seemed empty anyway; then she traversed a little farther along the couch, seeing Peridot curled into herself against the wall in the dark corner of the room.
The small blonde was curled into her blanket, visibly shaking at the mere sight of her. She approached her carefully, kneeling down in front of her and placing her hand against her shoulder comfortingly. Peridot looked at her with a terrified look in her eyes, her eyebrows arched high on her forehead.
"Don't. Touch. Me." Peridot said before exhaling, her breath sounding shrill and raspy, like her mouth was completely dry.
Jasper withdrew her hand and sat down on the floor, silently watching Peridot. She wanted to comfort this woman, figuring she was really suffering from some sort of mental anguish, but she was so afraid; and she respected the fact she didn't want to be touched. As much as it was killing her not hold her; she hated watching this woman she used to be so intimate with, shy from her touch and hug herself, shaking uncontrollably against the wall.
"Peridot, are you okay? Was it.. a nightmare?" She asked in a low voice, trying to send soothing vibes her way by also lowering the tone she spoke in.
Peridot rubbed her cheek with the palm of her hand, before shaking it through her golden locks anxiously. Jasper couldn't help but notice the mental struggle she seemed to be having, because it was plain about her facial features. She noticed it in the twitches of her lips and the rhythmic narrowing and widening of her eyes. She didn't understand why her heart beat thickly against her chest, or why she felt this sharp pain in her core as she gazed at this woman who had broken her heart.
"Peridot? You can talk to me." She reiterated her tone, gazing at her intently with her yellow eyes.
"No! No I can't! I..."
Jasper decided to test Peridot's patience with her, and reached like she was going to cup the smaller woman's face into her hand. She hovered it just above her freckled skin, because the blonde woman pressed her head back against the wall as far as she could to get away from Jasper's impending touch. Peridot's mouth turned into an exaggerated frown as the tears started flowing down her face. Jasper felt so shitty inside, so horrible this had happened to her, all bad episodes in their relationship aside.
"I am so sorry, Peri." She spoke tenderly, feeling the words rolling across her tongue as her throat started to clench shut with a jerk of emotion. "I'm just a piece of shit who couldn't even protect you from Y.D and her fucking gang. I let my emotions get in the way, I never even stopped to think that you could be reprimanded for my careless actions and defiance to her. Somehow I knew there would be consequences to my recklessness, but I never thought... I never thought she would go after you..."
Peridot stared at her, like a deer caught in headlights. She was frozen, and Jasper was unsure if she was even listening to her pathetic drawl and commiserable apology.
"I don't expect you to forgive me, I just..." Jasper put her other hand against her own face, as her shoulders jerked forward with her surge of emotion, her tears wetting her hand as they traveled down her face and dripped off her chin.
"Don't be... an idiot..." Peridot suddenly grasped Jasper's outstretched hand with her own, and put it against her cheek. "This isn't your fault. Stop beating yourself up over it okay? I can't stand to- to watch you start to fall apart over... over me."
Jasper moved her own hand down away from her face, and gripped Peridot's other cheek, so she was holding the blonde's face between her hands. She was remembering the familiar feeling of staring into those neon green eyes, as her mind threatened to fall into a familiar action, one she immediately felt wrong for even letting it pass across her mind.
"We need to talk... about us." She said, moving her thumb across Peridot's stream of tears.
"I... okay..." Peridot nodded, nuzzling her cheek against her hands.
They discussed details about their relationship quietly for what seemed to be about an hour. Peridot slowly warmed up to her, and even allowed Jasper to sit next to her so the blonde woman could lean against her. Peridot even went as far as to explain her nightmare to her, about how it was Jasper who was abusing her in her dream; about how it had felt so real to her, that's why she ended up waking up screaming. It was terrifying to think Peridot had dreamt about that, and she was starting to feel concerned that some people's minds were associating her with abuse, consciously and subconsciously. Jasper tore down the illusion of her 'abusive nature', by sharing tender touches and cuddles with Peridot, without allowing the smaller woman to become too intimate, less she do something she would regret.
"Can't we... Try this again?" Peridot asked, shifting her body so her head was laying against Jasper's thigh, and her knees were pulled up to her chest. Jasper discharged a short breath, tentatively twirling Peridot's hair between her fingers, finding herself becoming lost in the moment again. She couldn't do it; there's no way she could do it again. When she thought about the possibility of being in an intimate relationship with Peridot again her stomach threatened to send her to the bathroom, the idea was a little nauseating. She couldn't help it, the fear of her betrayal still weighed heavily in the back of her mind, as she was slowly realizing she hadn't really come to terms with their breakup herself.
"Please understand, we can never be what we once were. There's just too much pain down that path of my life. The chapter of you and I as lovers; as intimate partners, is over. But it doesn't mean we can't try to be friends. Would that be okay with you, Peri?" She choked, annoyed at herself for convulsing in emotion like an idiot.
"Actually, I would... I would really like that, Jasper."
With that out of the way, Jasper planted a quick kiss onto Peridot's forehead, before standing, and helping the battered woman to her feet. She tucked her in when she lay on the couch, and stood still, watching Peridot get comfy under the fluffy blanket.
"What if... What if Lapis doesn't want us to be friends? Then I'll... I'll have no one." Peridot muttered, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders and against her neck.
"Don't worry about that right now. I'll talk to her. Besides, she said she was willing to protect you as well. She's not as bad as you may think. She has a big heart, I think she'll understand as long as you or I don't give her a reason to fret. She's... fragile at the moment, but she's strong. She just needs to realize this..." Jasper explained, tugging on the bottom of her shirt.
"If you say so."
"who knows, maybe even you two could be good friends someday."
Her statement elicited a nervous laugh from Peridot, a sound that actually lightened Jasper's mood and made her feel a little happy herself.
"Goodnight Jasper."
"Goodnight." Jasper turned to walk away and made it as far as the entrance to the bedroom before Peridot spoke again.
"If you want to face Y.D again, I know where she's going to be; not that I'm trying to enable you or anything but... She's been very hard to track down lately, ever since her last encounter with the Crystal Leader..."
Jasper's heart threatened to jump out of her throat, as a curtain of uncertainty and anger lowered over her features.
"Tell me the details." She barked, very annoyed that Peridot had waited until now to mention this important information.
"Well I... I know for a fact that she's running an underground fighting pit tomorrow night. You ante something up, and fight your way through her ranks until you make it to the final battle, where she awaits to basically beat the crap out of you in front of her lackeys. It could be your chance to get her back, but the thing is... the farther you get, the more you have to ante up. It's dangerous."
Jasper was only half listening, as she was considering and weighing her options against one another. This was her chance to get revenge, her opportunity to get back at Y.D and Almandine, and whoever else had wronged these two women she'd silently sworn to protect. An ante? Like something precious to her? That was going to be hard to come by, she owned nothing of real value except for the semi-precious gems she wore in her ears. They probably wouldn't even be worth as much as Y.D would want, if she even let her in. Maybe she would wear a disguise of some kind. Why did she have to be so recognizable though? There's no way they would be easily fooled.
"An underground fighting pit is right where I fit in Peridot, I used to be one of the fighters challengers would be pitted against, back in the day. No one ever got past me. I need to get in, but the ante.."
"Jasper listen to me, you need to be careful, this could completely backfire on you; you could die! I don't know why I mentioned it, it was spur of the moment and stupid of me... Knowing her she'll probably demand something she knows you'd never give up, then beat you to a bloody pulp in front of her crowd of gambling patrons..."
"It's not like I really have too much more to lose. What could she possibly take that I would care about?"
"Lapis... Lazuli. Jasper, she has plans set in motion, and if you offer yourself willingly to her in this fight, she'll make her move to take Lapis from you, to manipulate you. Please, don't do this..."
LAPIS
Lapis was startled awake by a loud banging sound; and in her delirium, she threw herself off the bed and hit her forehead against her end table. She rubbed the sore spot of her head, which now pulsed angrily under her fingertips. She sat up on her knees, seeing Jasper wasn't in the bed where she should have been. She stood and ambled groggily out into the living room, not expecting what she saw.
Jasper was standing over the kitchen sink with her hand, drenched in blood, dripping down across the metal fixture. She looked around the room, and noticed the giant hole that now adorned the wall directly to the right of her. The broken wood splinters were covered in blood, and they lay scattered about on the floor.
"What in the world?" She gasped, pushing the splintered wood around with the tip of her toes.
"I'm going to fucking murder her! That fucking cunt thinks she can play with me; play with my life, I'll beat her into the fucking ground and piss on her fucking grave! Ah..." Jasper cussed angrily, running water over her hand, and washing away the blood. She groaned a little; the water was probably causing her hand to sting painfully.
Lapis looked over at Peridot, who was kneeling up on the couch, looking over the back of it, clutching the leather tightly between her fingers. She didn't know what to do, she didn't understand what was going on, and it made her feel anxious.
Peridot slowly turned her face and made eye contact with her, shrinking back down into the couch. Lapis puffed out her cheeks and scowled at the blonde, who obviously did something to push Jasper's anger over the edge...
Jasper shut off the water, and wiped her hurt hand against her shirt, which drove Lapis mad. She met the larger woman in the kitchen, and held out her hand expectantly towards her.
"What?" Jasper scoffed, hesitantly handing her hand over to her.
"Why must you always hurt yourself? Can't you punch a pillow or something?"
"Pfft."
Lapis looked her hand over carefully, seeing that the wounds weren't nearly as bad as she had originally thought. Jasper humored her curiosity only for a moment, before moving her hand up to touch the spot on her forehead where she had smashed it against her end table.
"Ow." She said, pushing the larger woman's hand away.
"What happened?"
"Oh you know, I just enjoy getting scared half to death at 3am... You punching the wall made me fall out of bed and hit my head."
"Ah, what?" Jasper kissed her forehead and she blushed. "Sorry Dewdrop."
"Well, what the fuck is going on?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Nothing... come on, let's go back to sleep, I'm fucking calling in tomorrow. I'm sorry, this night has just been... terrible."
"Alright..."
xxx
Lapis had a fairly normal day at school, give or take the awkward silence between her and Jasper in American Literature class. She had an enormous amount of work to do, so she tried to pay it no mind; she was trying to trust that Jasper would come to her and open up to her when she was good and ready to.
She hated this feeling like she was being kept in the dark; she started to suspect things more and more as Jasper and Peridot hurried off away from her whenever she spotted them together on campus.
She decided to follow them, keeping a fair distance just in case they turned around to see her. They ducked into a storage closet, and Lapis paused. Her mind jumped straight to the conclusion that they were making out in there, and that Peridot's whole damsel-in-distress act had won back Jasper's heart. She really shouldn't assume things, but what else could they be doing in there? She pressed her ear against the door, barely being able to understand what they were saying to each other.
"Tell me what other options I have. I could just go there and fuck her up, and leave without even joining the roster at all."
"Just forget I ever brought it up! There's no way you're going to win against her, even if you manage to get to the final round; even if you managed to kick her ass, there's no way in hell she's going to let you leave. You made her a fool, and she's planned her revenge. She's just waiting for the opportune moment, and you're just going to waltz right in there and hand yourself over like a dumbass. Why the fuck did I open my big fat mouth in the first place...?"
"I'm sick of waiting to see what she's going to do next, who she's going to hurt... If you won't tell me where to find her, then I guess I'll just go fuck up Almandine until she spills her guts."
"Jasper, wait."
Lapis heard Peridot mumble incoherently, she couldn't decipher what she was saying even by pressing her ear against the door as hard as she could. There was a silence now, neither one of them were speaking, and this made Lapis very suspicious of their behavior. She sucked in a deep breath before turning the handle quickly, flinging the door open. Jasper was leaning back against a shelf, arms crossed, and Peridot was looking at the doorway with apparent shock on her face.
"L-Lapis..." the blonde woman stuttered, twiddling her thumbs together nervously.
"Hey!" Jasper said, her expression quickly changing from slightly irritated, to completely amused; she actually thought the larger woman must have been happy to see her. Oddly enough, anyone else who would have been found together in a storage closet would have been freaking out right about now.
"What are you two doing? You had me thinking you were running off making out all day or something... You're acting so strange, and you're avoiding me. If you're trying to push me away, would you just tell me so I can carve my heart out with a blunt knife?" Her words tasted poisonous across her tongue, but she was legitimately becoming coarse with apprehension.
"Lapis, no, please don't speak like that. Come on, let's go somewhere and we can talk, okay?" Jasper hooked her arm around Lapis' thinner one, and led her out of the storage room, down the hall, and out into the courtyard. They sat at a stone picnic table, the stone was cold against her legging clad legs. The autumn wind was sending a chill through her, so she scooted closer to Jasper, hoping to steal some of that body heat she enjoyed so much.
"Lapis, listen. There's an.. event going on tonight, but I have nothing to offer as payment to get in. You wouldn't happen to have anything I could borrow, would you? I'd take money, but I just spent my check on some bills today and don't have nearly enough." Jasper placed her firm hand against Lapis' leg, resting it against her.
"What kind of an event? Do you want me to come with you?" She asked, placing her own hand over Jasper's, and fingering her knuckles as she spoke.
"No, I have to do this alone, but I promise, I'll be back before midnight. You and Peridot can chill out and watch movies, or get to know each other or something..."
Lapis was suspicious still, of course, but she was tired of trying to get Jasper to tell her things she didn't want to share with her. She looked at the bracelet she happened to be wearing today, and unclasped it carefully, watching the sunlight glint beautifully off of the inlaid tear-shaped gem's faceted edges.
"This is all I have of real value, it's a diamond that my grandmother gave to me, before she passed away; many, many years ago. You may borrow it. Whatever this is you think you have to do, please be careful."
Jasper held out her hand for the bracelet, her thick fingers enclosing in tightly in her fist when Lapis dropped it into the palm of her hand. Their gaze's met, and she was unsure what kind of emotion she was seeing from the larger woman.
"Thank-you."
Lapis leaned her head against Jasper's arm, and interlaced their fingers together under the table. Several people walking by gave them shrill looks of displeasure, but she ignored it, loving the feeling of openly showing affection to this woman, even something as simple to her as holding her hand. It was actually a large step for Lapis, not counting the kiss they had shared the day they confessed their love for each other. She had so much adrenaline pumping through her, she didn't even have to think about that before she had done it.
This simple gesture filled her with happiness, as she sighed against Jasper, enjoying the sight of warm-colored leaves drifting through the breeze, dancing down against the concrete path.