Chapter 12: LIFE

Mackenzie's POV

18 hours later

I come round slowly with a searing headache and pain everywhere mainly in my back, stomach and left leg. I hear beeping and chatter but it takes a while to get my eyes open. When I finally do get them open, the light in the room is too bright and too intense forcing myself to close my eyes again. I let out a moan and struggle to focus.

"Evans you awake?"

Blake's voice comes from my right hand side and I turn my head slowly to face her. That's when I'm hit by the nausea and dizziness as well as the fact my vision was messed up. Bloody hell how hard was I hit?

"Unfortunately," I whimper and she gives me a sad smirk. "What time is it…? What day even?"

"It's Tuesday," Blake says softly. "About ten."

"How's your arm?" I ask quietly.

"It's okay but you should be more concerned about yourself," She replies. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm in a lot of pain," I mumble. "Feel nauseous. Dizzy."

"I'm not surprised. The doctors say you probably have a concussion," She whispers. "Look I'm going to go and get the doctor. I'll be back soon and then we can chat about the case."

"Okay," I say quietly.

The checks with the doctor don't take long. In short I have a puncture wound in my left leg which has affected the muscle more than anything else. I've sprained muscles in my back due to the blast and fight and have a graze on my right hand side from the gun going off. I have a nasty gash on my head which caused a concussion but no internal damaged had been done thankfully. If all went well I would be released by the end of the day. Apparently I had already been here for nearly twenty four hours.

"Evans there's something we need to discuss," Blake says softly and from the tone of her voice I knew it was bad. "It's about the case."

"What about it?" I ask as I haul myself into a semi comfortable position. My back was killing me and that was even with the pain meds.

"Larson and Doyle sent us another video," She says and my heart starts to beat faster at both names. This was not going to be good. This definitely was not going to be good. "Now I need you to try and stay calm okay?"

"Blake what's wrong?" I ask as fear settles in me but I don't know why.

"Dante has been missing for five days," Blake whispers and my heart drops. Dante… No… Not again. "Larson and Doyle sent a video yesterday. They have Dante. He looked okay but seemed tired and had a gash on his head."

I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out. I don't know how to react. I couldn't believe this was happening again.

"Mackenzie please say something," She says softly.

"How have… How have attempts in finding him gone?" I stutter out.

"We know that he's being kept somewhere in Charlestown but that's it," She says. "It wouldn't make any sense to keep him outside of Charlestown. There may be two of them but it would be too much work."

"Have they made any demands?"

"They want you, Prentiss and Reid," Blake says and my heart drops. "Everyone is currently working through the evidence from the Bank Raid."

"How much time did they give?" I ask trying to stay calm.

"Forty-eight hours," Blake whispers.

"Twenty-four hours have already went by…" I say the panic hitting me. "And I know rightly Hotch isn't going to let us go."

"We are trying our best," Blake says sympathetically.

"Did they give a location?" I say trying to think of a way to get around this.

"Yes but they said if we went near it before the drop off time they would kill him," She says as if I was being stupid. All I needed was a location.

"Is my stuff in here? I need my phone and that location," I say sitting up more but all I get is a look saying don't you even think about it. I had an idea. An idea to scout the area. "I have an idea."

"Anybody that even vaguely looks like an FBI agent is going to tip Larson and Doyle off. What are you planning?"

"It's not the FBI I'm calling," I say. "I still have connections in the Marines and believe me they do not look like the FBI."

"But if they look like the military, Larson will see through it," Blake points out.

"Not if I call the right person," I stress. "I'm still technically in the marines as a reserve. I hold the rank of Captain."

"You know someone who can research the area without looking suspicious?"

"I don't but my old boss might," I say and I desperately hope she agrees. This was the only way I could help Dante without handing myself in.

"Okay but only if you are certain it's safe," She says grabbing my phone from my jacket. "Who are you calling?"

"Major Sam Doherty. He owes me a couple of favours," I say and that's when I see her confusion.

"You seem awfully calm for what I just told you," She says handing me my phone. ""Are you okay?"

"Trust me I am not calm," I say rubbing my eyes carefully avoiding my forehead. "I'm just not letting myself break. I know what happened the last time when I broke when it came to Dante and I will not do it again. For his sake. The last time I handed myself over to Shannon she nearly succeeded in killing me. I want to exhaust all other methods before doing that one again."

"If your PTSD, anxiety or depression starts to flare up you have to tell one of us," She says bluntly as I start to fidget. "We do not want you to burn out… Why are you fidgeting so much?"

"It's a coping mechanism when I hold stuff in," I say dialling the number for Major Doherty's secretary.

"Don't hold things in Mackenzie. It will just eat you up inside," Blake says but I don't respond as I finally get through.

"Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command. How may I help you?" A male voice says over the phone.

"This is Captain Mackenzie Evans of the Marine Corps Reserves, Intelligence division. Serial Number 167-46-0865," I say clearly. "Can I please speak to Major Samuel Doherty? It's an urgent matter and is time sensitive."

"Of course ma'am," They say. "He's free currently. I'll patch you through."

There's a short pause and then a dial tone before the call is transferred.

"Hello. This is Major Doherty."

"Hi Major," I say thankful I got through. "It's Captain Evans and I need your help."

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"You think this will work?" Prentiss asks as I sit down awkwardly down at the conference table.

I'd been realised from hospital about half an hour ago and was now with the rest of the team at the station. I had just explained that I had contacted Major Doherty who was going to brief one of his men in the area who would check out the area that was given to us. Reid and Morgan seemed for the plan, Hotch, Garcia and JJ were on the fence, Rossi was completely against it and Prentiss and Blake were questioning it.

"Yes," I say shifting in my seat wincing. "Major Doherty is good at what he does. Amazing even. He's one of the best intelligence gatherers I know. I worked with him several times while I was on tour."

"Can he be trusted?" Blake asks.

"Yes."

"And when did you say he could get someone there?" JJ pushes.

"Well I spoke to him about an hour ago and Garcia sent the files forty minutes ago… I'd say we'd have a reply in another forty-five minutes at most."

"Good. We're approaching the deadline," Hotch says.

"How do you know this man again?" Prentiss asks and I have to restrain from swearing as pain goes up my back. I couldn't sit comfortably with the sprain and because of it I was fidgeting constantly. "Are you okay Evans?"

"Yeah just sore. Can't get comfortable," I say quietly. "He's my old boss. I worked in the Intelligence Branch when I was with the Marines. I made it to rank of Captain so he was constantly the rank above me."

"Evans if you need to go back to the hotel and rest that's fine," Hotch says and I inwardly groan. Oh here we go. "We've got this."

"No," I reply shaking my head. "With all due respect sir I would much rather be here looking for my fiancé. I'll rest when we find him."

"Okay," He says sceptically as I wince again. "Well we can all meet back here in ten minutes after a coffee break and then we'll come up with a plan of attack. Dismissed."

I watch as everyone gets up and leaves the room bar me and JJ. I knew it was going to take me a minute to get up and I could see JJ looking at me in concern out of the corner of my eye. I shift slightly and make a move to haul myself up which only makes me wince and have to sit back down. I hadn't been given crutches at the hospital as it would have just made my recovery slower. It's better to use the muscle that damaged than to let it weaken to a point that I would need physio.

"Are you okay?" JJ asks softly as she gets up and walks over to me.

"Yeah just sore," I lie.

I wasn't okay. I felt like my brain was imploding with fear and anxiety and my entire body felt like it had been hit by a truck. I was exhausted and had a searing headache. I probably looked how I felt and it was taking all I had to keep with the lie that I was okay. That I was sore. If not for my sake, Dante's at least.

"Don't lie to me Mackenzie. The rest of the team isn't here right…" JJ pushes and I inwardly groan as I cut her.

"JJ…"

"Mackenzie Evans tell the truth," JJ says bluntly, it now being me who's being cut off.

"I feel like I'm breaking and that my brain is imploding with fear," I whisper too tired to fight her. "I feel like I've been physically hit by a truck, have a searing headache and I'm exhausted. But I feel if I don't hold it together, that if I don't stay strong, Dante will suffer."

"Hotch's hotel offer still stands Mackenzie," JJ whispers sitting slowly down in front of me. She was still sore herself after the explosion. Everyone who had been in the bank was. "The team has this. We will find Dante."

"I can't leave him. I have to do everything in my power to find him," I whisper a I hold back tears. "I'll go crazy if I have to go back and just sit idly by waiting for him to die. Gosh I already feel like I'm going crazy…"

That's when I see the look in JJ's eyes. The look that says she knows what I'm going through. She sighs.

"I know," She says quietly. "I went through the same thing with Will a few years ago. And I know that you want to help but the moment you feel that you are going to become more of a hindrance than help or the moment you feel like your PTSD is going to take a hold of you, you have to tell us. I know this is scary and that you feel paralysed with fear. I know. But know that are people here doing the best they can to find Dante. Please realise that."

"Thank you," I nod.

"Now let's go get some coffee," She says softly as she gets up. "You look like you need it."

"That's an understatement," I chuckle as I haul myself up. I let out a whimper as I finally get myself upright. Gosh I was in pain. "If this is what every case does to the body I'm going to have to rethink my life choices."

"I would tend to agree with you on that one," JJ smirks stretching. "Now let's go."

With that I limp after JJ to get coffee. I may be terrified but I knew the team would find Dante. They had to find Dante.

My life depended on it.