Silencing the Chaos
Author's Notes: To all my readers who are swearing at Vincent's bulls***y attitude, let me tell you, I'm right there with you. But more importantly, thank you for believing in him and continuing to read. I can safely tell you that it will end, I'm finally writing what will become happy, happy, joy, joy for all who deserve it, *coughYuffiecough*. Hang in there and thanks for sticking around!
Chapter 13
Yuffie worked at Tifa's bar for a week, giving the pugilist more time to spend with her family. Tifa, in return, did not interrogate about why the sudden change in Yuffie's life. That much was fairly obvious.
Instead, Tifa tried to get Yuffie to stay in the city, rather than go gallivanting across the world on her own.
"I'll be fine, Teefs. Besides, I'll be here for a little longer. And my stuff isn't going anywhere," Yuffie was oddly skilled at barkeeping for all the fact that she was a total klutz in everything else. She flipped and twirled bottles and mixers, genuinely entertaining even the most sober of guests as she talked to Tifa.
"Yo! Cutie!" A drunk man raised his empty glass. "Another!"
"Coming right up, sir!" Yuffie called out.
"Yuffie!" Tifa scolded. They both knew the man had enough alcohol for the night.
"Don't worry, Teefs, I got this," Yuffie handed over the drink she finished mixing to the customer at the counter, then pulled a clean glass out and poured water into it and garnished it with a twist of lemon. "Voila!"
She sashayed to the corner of the bar and handed the glass to the man, saying it was a drink made especially for him. He downed the entire glass of water and was satisfied with his friends taking him home. Grudgingly, Tifa gave a look of approval. Most drunks refused to leave so amiably.
At closing, Tifa locked up after the last customer and turned to see Yuffie washing dishes.
"Yuffie," Tifa started again, wanting to continue her conversation from before.
"Tifa, I just need to be me for a little. You can understand that, right?" Yuffie stacked clean glasses to dry. "There's a lot cluttering my mind. I have to do some cleaning up there."
"Just promise to keep in touch. I have worries as it is. Don't let my imagination run wild with what you're up to, okay?" Tifa grabbed Yuffie's face and leaned in close.
"Okay, Mama bear, calm down. I'll call. But you can't harass me; deal?"
"Deal. I'll finish up. You go home," Tifa smiled and chased Yuffie out.
The next day, Yuffie woke bright and early and went through her workout before picking up her phone. Spring cleaning of her mind started with talking to one person.
"I would like to make an appointment to see President Shinra."
"He is free in the morning today."
"Perfect. I'll be there in an hour," Yuffie hung up and got ready to see her former foe.
"What do you want this time, Yuffie?" Rufus was ignoring her as she sat on his couch. "Rocket ship? Golden chocobo?"
"I wanted to talk to you, Rufus. No use for a rocket ship. I quit the WRO, you know."
"So I heard. Reeve is having a real meltdown without you," Rufus dropped some papers onto his desk and went to sit across from Yuffie. "So what did you want to talk about, princess?"
"You know I'm not a princess anymore."
"Like that really matters. You don't just stop being a princess."
"That's… not the point," Yuffie grit out and rubbed her forehead. "I came because I'm trying to clear my mind of all this stuff I have piled in there."
"What's that got to do with me?"
"Shinra brat," Yuffie said distastefully, causing Rufus to frown. "I'm sorry for calling you that when we were kids. And… I'm sorry for blaming you for your father's actions."
"You never made it seem as if you did blame me."
"Oh, but I thought it. A lot. I put the same blame for the war, for everything on you as well as your father. It's not fair," Yuffie's shoulders sagged and she looked aside, not quite sure what to do.
"I forgive you. Besides, I called you way more colorful names before. And cursed you for mucking things up after I took over the company."
"Are we good, then?" Yuffie looked into his clear blue eyes.
"Yes, we're good. But we won't be if you ask for more crazy things."
"So that's a 'no' on the Golden chocobo?" Yuffie grinned and stood. "See ya around, Rufus."
0000000000
"I can't believe this, V," Chaos was stomping in Vincent's mind, purposely trying to give his host a headache.
"I thought you wanted to be rid of me."
Chaos scoffed. "I accepted being with you after the Omega incident. You're the one who wants me gone. So you can be with little Miss Can't-do-wrong."
Vincent was in his apartment, sitting in his window sill and glaring at the moon like it was at fault.
"Why must you blame her?"
"What, like it was better for you to live in torment with four monstrosities in your mind? Like it was better for me to be locked in you with the Protomateria? Like it's natural? Any of this?"
"I never said it was."
"Her greed. Her selfishness has never brought any good or even happiness to anyone! Why would this be any different?" Chaos growled. It was impressive just how pig-headed Vincent could be when it came to Lucrecia. "Fine. You know what? Fine. She'll end up killing us all."
Chaos started to retreat, but paused to say one last thing. "I've been in here a long time. And never once have I come across your 'Conscience.' 'Instinct,' yes. 'Duty,' yes. 'Conscience,' no."
Then he left.
Vincent had a lot to think about. Thoughts filled his mind and he tried to organize them. It was starting to get light when he finally admitted that there might be truth to Chaos's words.
He wasn't allowed to see Lucrecia that day, so he went to talk with Reeve instead. Since they got back to Edge, Vincent only went between the Midgar warehouse and his apartment.
When he got to the office, he saw more people running around on the top floor than usual.
"Mr. Valentine," one of Reeve's executive staff members exclaimed as he nearly careened into the gunman. "Here to see Reeve?"
"Yes."
"He's in Yuffie's old office, I think."
Vincent didn't understand what he meant, but the man had left with his teetering pile of reports. At Yuffie's office, Vincent maneuvered around a box of random items in the doorway and found Reeve and Cait going through cabinets of files.
"Reeve."
"Vincent! What are you doing here? I thought you would be with Lucrecia."
"Tests all day. What are you doing in Yuffie's office?"
"Ah, that's right," Reeve looked up and winced lightly at his scattered brain, or maybe it was a crick in his neck. "Yuffie… resigned. She's not here anymore."
"She left the WRO?"
Reeve nodded and busied his hands.
"The lassie said she needed to think. And that the world is at a place where she can leave. Who knows what that means, eh?" Cait tottered around with more files. "How did she function in this mess?"
"Where did she go?"
"How do I know? She won't answer my calls," Reeve threw down a folder. "My best agent, gone. Who's going to take on all this work? Cait?"
The robot whirled as it tried to go through the whole WRO registry. It lifted a hand and pointed at Vincent.
"I decline. Reeve, we need to talk about Lucrecia."
"Maybe that's why she left. You kept pushing her aside for Lucrecia. You never even told her good job for the mission," Reeve pointed Cait to the door. "Go get that."
"What is Cait getting?"
"You'll see. What did you want to talk about, Vincent?"
"Lucrecia wants to remove Chaos and the others from my body."
"Well, that's good for you, right?"
"Chaos is my lifeline. I was shot, point blank in the heart. I have no chance at living without him."
"Maybe that is what Dr. Crescent wants to research. How you, just you, can live. Taking them out does no good if it kills you," Reeve surmised. "Why mention it to me?"
"Chaos."
"I guess he has no particular reason to like Dr. Crescent. Don't mind him, Vincent. I'm sure he's trying extra hard to annoy you," Reeve tossed some files into a box and started on the new pile. "I'll support you no matter your decision."
Soft padding indicated Cait's return.
"This should help you see Yuffie's reason for leaving. Feel free to use the conference room. It's a long report," Reeve smiled as Cait handed up the binder for Vincent. "That is, of course, the edited version."
Excused, Vincent went to the conference room. There was no reason Reeve would be able to do anything about his situation. But Vincent found himself needing to tell others about his worries as of late. Most likely, it was from the prolonged exposure to Yuffie. She always asked for everyone's advice, even if she rarely used their suggestions.
Secluding himself in the conference room, Vincent opened the binder.
"Incident report of undercover mission in Ebony, July 2012 to October 2012; Principal WRO agents, Vincent Valentine, Yuffie Kisaragi."
Most reports were under five pages, stapled to a folder, but this one was well over thirty pages and held in a ringed binder to prevent loss.
Yuffie's voice rang out in his head as he read as if she were dictating the words; which they were. Even though she clearly wanted to rant and rave, she kept the report focused on telling the events of the mission, albeit with her perspective and observations. When he finally came across the first mention of Lucrecia, Yuffie's voice of dictation disappeared from his mind.
"Yuffie was half asleep at that time," Vincent recalled the night Chaos harassed him and he went to Yuffie's room.
Reading the report, Vincent thought himself a fool that he took comfort in her presence when she couldn't even say "Lucrecia" in her report. He could hear the reluctance and even a little distain in the black ink.
The rest of the report were little black splotches on white paper; toneless and dead. He saw what Yuffie described of her conversation with Chaos, how she learned of the revival of Jenova cells in Lucrecia. In the report there were plenty of sentences which read, "her [Lucrecia Crescent]," as Yuffie couldn't say the name. Just like Chaos.
As much as Yuffie's report displayed her distance toward the doctor, her ideas of ridding the Jenova cells within Lucrecia were sincere.
"She only cared about the mission," Vincent almost felt relief lap against his mind. Feelings and emotions were still largely disregarded, as he found them more of a nuisance than anything else. "Without the stress of a mission and no more Jenova, Yuffie can take time off."
He shook his head. He never used to talk aloud. Vincent leaned away from the report and looked out the window. Shafts of cold sunlight filtered through the early autumn clouds. Typical Midgar weather. Edge was less pollution and more natural cloud coverage, but, by sight, they looked extremely similar. He missed the dynamics of the clouds when they were in Ebony. The blue skies were nice, but they never held anything to watch.
Life was spiraling out of his control. And all he wanted to do was regain his balance.
Yuffie didn't need him. Lucrecia did. That much, Vincent believed. More accurately: Vincent needed Lucrecia, not Yuffie. If asked to choose, he would, without hesitation, save Lucrecia first. Only. If that was the choice.
Who was he to care if Yuffie ran off across the world? That was her choice. He wasn't going to stop her. He wasn't going to let it bother him.
He continued to read the report.
00000000000
Somewhere in a forest, Yuffie was hacking her way to Junon. There was a specific spot she was looking for; a grassy knoll clear of trees, but still in the middle of the forest. That was where she first met AVALANCHE.
That area was also clear of monsters and would allow Yuffie a quiet place in the green nature for her to be alone with her mind. As scary as that thought was.
There were times that Yuffie secretly envied Vincent. He always had someone with him to talk.
The shade of the trees fell away and Yuffie soaked up the sun. The hill was exactly the same as all those years ago. But it was better safe than sorry, so Yuffie swept the area twice before concluding that it was, at least temporarily, safe.
She set up camp; a small tent and her fire pit for cooking. Then she found the most comfortable spot to sit on the grass, taking wind and sun movements into account before finally settling down.
Starting with a prayer to Leviathan, she imagined water flowing through to clear her mind and to fall still like the Wutai lakes in high summer. Once in a state of peace, she fell into her mind, imagining herself amongst physical representations of the things in her mind. Memories, grudges, wishes and dreams were all scattered around her like a child's room with toys exploding from the toy box.
"Let's start with an easy one," Yuffie picked something up. A plush toy. It had black those, green eyes and long silver hair. "Sephiroth. Killed you. Cloud killed you twice. Jenova's now bye-bye. You aren't coming back."
The toy dissolved in her hand, leaving a sheet of paper in its wake.
"File cabinet," Yuffie thought as she spun around, her mind creating one so she could file the paper away. "File you away. What next?"
Yuffie picked up another representation of a memory and thought that maybe, just maybe, things would work out better than she originally thought.