Summary: Harry had always been their strength. When they found out how Dumbledore had been hurting him, they decided to be Harry's strength too. Even if they had to abandon everything to do it. Time Travel
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Categories: Time Travel, Abuse, Slash, Het
Chapter Summary: As Harry worked, Ron couldn't help but notice that his friend was miserable. But those are feelings, and there's no way he could help with those. Ron needed another way to save his friend.
Chapter 13: Their Forgiveness
"If you're going to be staying overnight, then you'll have to help me with the nightmares." Snape told Ron not unkindly.
Ron had volunteered to spend the night and protect Harry from Snape. They set up a rotating schedule, with everyone taking turns visiting the clearing so that Harry would never be alone with the man. As the final weeks of summer passed, Harry spent many of his days doing work throughout the alley, running for food and sorting stockrooms that couldn't simply be spelled clean. If one were to judge by his actions, Harry was acclimating to his new life quite easily.
But nights like this were different. On nights like this, after a ministry scan of the alley or a new article about Dumbledore's hunt for the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry would even hurt himself to stay awake. He would do anything to resist the pull of the forceful nightmares that swept him up without warning, dreams that wrenched him down into suffocating anxiety, then left him shaking and frail and unable to still his trembling limbs.
Harry denied feeling fear. He theorized that Dumbledore had cursed him, or his body remembered the man's torments, because there was no way that he was still afraid.
That was the other thing strange about Harry: he had stopped showing any sort of emotion or expression. Instead, when people cracked a joke or yelled in an attempt to shatter his stillness, he merely gazed at them as if he couldn't understand their need to expend such energy. Snape claimed that these were after-effects of Harry's panic attack the day Ron and Hermione had joined the hero's band of protectors. Parts of Harry's mind had shut down to protect themselves.
They came back when he was sleeping, it seemed.
Harry grumbled as he turned over on his side, dark hair falling over a face already drowning in the night's shadows. His newly purchased robes fit him better than his baggy old ones, hugging his gaunt form and emphasizing his puny waist and shoulders. When he first asked a shopkeeper for a job, the man had taken one look at him and scoffed at his size. Harry, or Merrick as he was calling himself, had offered to work for free the first day to prove his competence.
When the shopkeeper saw how quickly he worked, and how easily he won a spontaneous duel against the man's son, he had changed his tune and hired the teenager on the spot. All of the shopkeepers that Harry worked for had been won over in a similar manner, and now they loved their shared employee, even teaching him spells and asking him to tutor their pre-Hogwarts children in his spare time. They accepted the strange, quiet boy with the crazy work ethic who never smiled, but was as gentle as anyone they had ever met.
They laughed at him as though he was laughing with them, teasing him for his inability to keep his sleeves rolled up and his refusal to buy new glasses, uncaring that he never so much as snickered back at them. Harry's disguise, while it hid his facial features and hair, did nothing to conceal his glasses or his size. It was his size that made him so easy to trust; the shopkeepers thought of him as someone they wanted to look after, someone who desperately needed the money their jobs provided.
Or so the twins told him. Ron didn't see much of Harry's work, as even associating with his disguised friend could make the ministry suspicious.
And so, even though he knew his friend was suffering, even though he knew that Snape was tormenting him and they shouldn't be left alone together, there was very little he could do about it. Soon, too, school would begin again and only the twins would be free to protect Harry from the man. The thought of going back to Hogwarts and acting the same around Dumbledore was sickening, and even imagining the man with his long beard and friendly bearing made Ron's fists curl.
"Calm down before you make your head explode." Snape sighed as he watched Harry sleep.
Ron exhaled. He had to be calm so that he could protect Harry. He watched closely as the man approached the sleeping boy, reaching out and placing a hand over his eyes.
"Don't touch him." Ron growled warningly.
Snape glanced back and rolled his eyes before he returned his gaze to Harry, murmuring under his breath until the other Gryffindor's breathing evened out. Then he pulled his hand away from him, tilting an eyebrow at Ron as if to say Really? I wouldn't attack him with you right here.
Maybe not, Ron thought, but it was better to keep an eye on him. Who knew when Snape would snap again?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"You have to stop fighting with him so much." George chastised when Ron was sitting in the twins' store a few days before it was time for school to start. "I'm sure it's only making Harry uncomfortable."
"Nothing seems to affect Harry these days." Ron disagreed, picking absently at the basket holding the chocolate frogs at the front counter. Business was booming for the twins, and the store was flooded with customers.
"Even so, it must be affecting him. Snape's not abusing Harry, so stop acting as though he's going to attack him at any moment."
"I saw him with my own eyes." Ron disagreed. "How could I not want to protect him after that? Whatever's wrong with him is putting him in even more danger. I bet it's Snape's fault."
"Stop it, Ron." George told him, leaning on elbows resting against the counter. "Really, that's enough. You were there for the rest of the events too, so you know that Snape's not abusing him. Don't even say it, I see you opening your mouth. Yes, what you saw was bad. Snape himself admitted to doing it. But that makes him a pervert, and no worse than an overly aggressive suitor. He's not hurting Harry, and he's doing his best to control himself. Supervision should be enough to stop anything like that from happening again."
"And you're okay with that? Leaving Harry alone with a pedophile doesn't seem all that safe to me!"
"And what would you have us do instead? Leaving Harry by himself isn't an option, and whether we like it or not, whether we understand it or not, Snape has helped Harry in ways that we can't deny. Do you really want to take Harry away from the only person who seems to understand what he's going through? Is that really okay with you?"
"No. No it's not. But it's still suspicious!"
"What is?"
"Who can't resist a little lust?" Ron asked, frustration evident in his voice. "I want to…"
"You want to what?"
"It doesn't matter." Ron huffed. "I can see that I'm not going to win against him. But we've been talking to Neville, and he's determined to take down Dumbledore. Talk about crazy! He's a tougher opponent than Snape."
"He is. But, you know, when Neville says he'll do it, I somehow believe him."
Ron made a face at his brother. "When did you two get so close to Neville anyway? He went to you before he went to Hermione and me, even though we're Harry's best friends."
"We went to him, actually. He was acting suspicious. You're the ones who were too busy locking yourselves in your own world to see it."
Ron frowned, hearing some sort of accusation in his brother's tone. "Why should we have noticed? He can't have been acting too different. And we were busy worrying about Harry."
"Neville was probably just as worried as you were. He had actually seen Harry injured and managed to figure out what was happening."
"He knew?" Ron hadn't realized just how much Neville had kept from them. "That bastard! He knew what happened to Harry and he didn't tell us?"
"He was scared, Ron." George spoke quietly so that no customers would overhear, but his voice was thick and heavy with anger. "Dumbledore is the strongest enemy you can have, and the people who are supposedly his friends were too busy to even talk to him. Don't you dare pick a fight with him for doing the best he could to protect Harry's secret."
Chastised, but too stirred up to back down from the confrontation, Ron snarled, his eyes narrowing and pulling the ends of his scar closer together over his eye. Neither of the twins had ever shown this kind of ferocity on Ron's behalf before.
Stony-faced and with the posture of a security guard, George rose and stood in front of Ron, daring him to act on his irritation.
Ron was enough of a strategist to know when he was outclassed. He saw Fred, summoned by George's emotions, approaching them from the other side of the room. He wasn't stupid enough to let them gang up on him. Wounded, blood boiling in his chest and pounding around his eyes, Ron stormed out of the store, trying not to think about how undignified his tantrum seemed in light of everything else going on with Harry.
His family had always been a sore spot for him.
XXXXX
When everyone who knew about Harry and Snape gathered for the last evening before it was time to return to Hogwarts, the sun had just begun to set. It was late, and the air was dry as it brushed against their skin. Bugs with high-pitched voices chirped and sang their hearts out to celebrate the end of another summer day. In contrast, something somber draped itself over the campsite, impending doom and wounded feelings and private hurts simmering silently in the stillness.
Only Harry seemed unaffected, flipping through the pages of an old book one of his employers had given him and ignoring the people who had gathered for him.
"Gah! I can't take this anymore!" Hermione, surprisingly, was the first to snap. "I don't want to go back. How can we, in the same school as the man who hurt Harry? How can we just pretend everything's the same?"
Even in a situation like this one, Ron noticed the way her sweater hugged her body when she rose, the wrinkles smoothing out against her stomach. He put a hand on her arm, half comfort and half restraint. It wouldn't help anyone to hear their fears aired when there was nothing they could do about them. And besides, Harry wouldn't respond to such an emotional approach right now anyway.
But something about what she said caught Harry's attention. "You're scared?" he asked. "I don't think he's going to start hurting any of you, so there's no reason for you to be afraid of Hogwarts."
Hermione frowned. "But Harry, just knowing that he's so powerful and he's after you…doesn't that scare you?"
Harry shook his head, looking down at his steady hands. "I'm not afraid, but my heart is cold."
"Cold how?" Neville asked.
"Like…if I spend too much time dwelling on Dumbledore or what happened, I'll just freeze. I won't be able to keep moving through everyday life."
"So you really are afraid, so you're trying not to think about it," Hermione said, triumphant.
"I suppose," Harry agreed.
"That's an emotion, right, professor?" Hermione asked. "He's got some emotions left after all!"
"Fear is a survival instinct more than an emotion," Snape said. "He may feel fear, and he may feel the urge to protect someone or fulfill the prophecy, but he won't feel happy or sad about his accomplishments. He won't care if he hurts your feelings, and he won't feel betrayed when he thinks of the headmaster."
"Bloody hell," Ron snarled, "This is so twisted. You may not be able to feel it, Harry, but I can see how miserable you are." And he could. Harry was going through the motions of living without really feeling anything. He was getting thinner and thinner and he never smiled or laughed or enjoyed any of the things he was accomplishing.
"Can you fix him?" Neville's voice pulled Ron out of his thoughts. He was probably the only one of them who would think to ask Snape. "Professor, is there anything you can do?"
"Maybe, with Harry's help, we might be able to repair the damage," Snape said. He sighed. "But he won't let me."
"What?" Ron asked, turning to his friend. "Harry, why wouldn't you let him try to fix this? Even if it is Snape."
"It's better like this. I don't have to suffer any more. I can't feel love, but I don't feel despair either. I can't remember a time when I was this free," Harry spoke without looking up from his book, as if admitting that he had been suffering his whole life was no big deal.
"Harry, please let us save you," Ron begged, kneeling in front of his friend and yanking the book from his hands "I can't stand to see you living like this. None of us can."
"So you want me to suffer?" Harry asked, sounding genuinely confused instead of angry, like he would have in the past.
"No, but…Harry, we want you to feel again," Hermione said. "We want you to love us again."
"So you're being selfish?" Harry asked. "I thought you were better than that. Why is my love worth so much to you?"
They all fell silent, hesitant to reveal their personal feelings in front of everybody. Ron tried to talk, but his voice caught in his throat. It all sounded so girlish. Fred and George were the first to speak.
"You gave us your Triwizard winnings to start our joke shop," one said, to Ron's surprise. Why had Harry given away his money to the twins, of all people, instead of the rest of their family or keeping it?
"We know you didn't want anything to remind you of Cedric," the other twin said. "But still, nobody has ever trusted us with something like that, let alone —"
"Believing in our dream to start a shop. Everyone else would have told us to stay in school. Your trust meant a whole lot to us, not just because of the money."
"I don't really understand," Harry said. "What makes that so important?"
"Your regard makes them feel better about themselves," Snape said, drawing all eyes in the campsite to him. "Which, in turn, improves their lives. I believe it is the same for all of us." That was as good as a declaration of love coming from Snape, Ron thought. He glared at the man, though in this case he was right.
"I…see," Harry said. "But I still don't want to suffer any more."
"We know, Harry," Hermione sighed wearily, prompting Ron to put his arm on her hand again.
"It really isn't healthy," Ron muttered, then held out Harry's book. "But it's your choice, okay? We won't take that away from you. I know you hate it when people do that."
"I seem to remember that, yeah," Harry muttered, flipping back to where he was when Ron took the book from him.
They spent the rest of last evening of summer in silence.
XXXX
Harry was working in the back of the store a few weeks after what would have been his seventh year started when he heard the first scream. After the first, the screams continued, loud and relentless and broken only by the sound of explosions. Logic told him to stay hidden, but his reflexes carried him into the alley before he though too much about it. When he saw the Death Eaters, he cast a wandless disillusionment charm on himself and backed into an alleyway to watch. Resistors and aurors were already fighting back, so he didn't have to risk getting caught by helping anybody.
His first instinct was to hide himself, not out of fear of Voldemort, but out of fear of Dumbledore. If the old man appeared and found him, there was no way he could escape. Dumbledore scared him more than the Dark Lord. All of those dreams that he tried to ignore were about Dumbledore. Unlike in the past, he never woke shaking or terrified because of Voldemort's actions. Harry would have been perfectly content to wait out the battle from the safe alleyway, but before he knew what had happened, that increasingly familiar mist filled his mind. Judgement obscured, Harry found his legs carrying him off towards Voldemort, even though he had no clue how he knew where the villain was, or why his body was so determined to seek him out.
Voldemort was shouting his name as he attacked the alley, destroying buildings more for show than to do serious damage. It was clear that he didn't expect to find Harry in the alley; he just wanted to get the word out that he was looking and drive Harry to seek him out before more people got hurt. His wand gave off malicious red sparks as he blew up a storefront, and Harry wondered if he should launch a surprise attack from behind. As rubble smashed against the street, Harry mused that he would need to fight the villain eventually. His mind clouded over again as he hesitated, wondering if he was still too weak, and that was enough time for demonic red eyes to fix on him, slicing through his disillusionment charm like butter.
"Harry Potter," he said in his rasping voice, slick with malicious delight that crawled over Harry's skin and left it cold.
"Voldemort," Harry said, the sound welling from his throat as if he were under a compulsion.
Despite the danger, Harry could not bring himself to give the monster his full attention. Warily, his eyes scanned the area in search of the headmaster, who was sure to appear. Voldemort noticed his divided attention. Enraged, he cast a crucio not at the source of his rage, but at a young auror nearby. The auror screamed bloody murder as he fell to the ground and began writhing, not used to the pain like Harry was. Voldemort knew how to attack his enemy's weaknesses, and people suffering because of him had always been something Harry couldn't stand, with or without emotion.
Eyes drawn back to Voldemort as his protective urges surged, he lifted his wand, prepared for a face off to defend innocent victims.
"Harry Harry Harry," Voldemort rasped, attention fully devoted to the boy in front of him. "However did you escape Dumbledore's clutches? For Severus to flee with you, to renounce his duty to me, you must have truly won his sympathy. Perhaps you share his past abuses, hmm?"
Harry's face must have given away his surprise, for Voldemort chuckled and continued: "Oh yes, I know all about Dumbledore's perversions."
"The headmaster….to you..?" Harry asked, trying to imagine Tom Riddle as one of Dumbledore's victims. It just didn't match the memories Dumbledore had shown him; he couldn't reconcile that arrogant young wizard with his idea of one of the headmaster's toys.
Red eyes flashed. "No, you fool," Voldemort hissed, clearly offended that Harry would even think him capable of being a victim. "I would never suffer that old meddler's touch! I gleaned the situation from Severus's memories when he was driven to join me. If you have suffered the same as he, it comes as no surprise that he would betray me."
"I have suffered even worse that he has," Harry said. Dumbledore's tortures were much worse than any of Voldemort's. "So, do your worst. You won't break me."
"Why not join me instead, Harry? I would never commit such atrocities."
"Join you?" Harry asked, wondering whether Voldemort was sincere or if this was merely a trap. Either way, Harry could never side with the man who killed his parents and made people suffer, even if it meant that Harry would suffer or even die. "I would rather suffer endlessly in Dumbledore's clutches. Expelliamus!"
Voldemort evaded the sudden disarming spell easily. He turned his wand on Harry with dark intent, but another spell from the right forced him backwards before he could cast anything. Voldemort snarled as he looked at the spell caster, but Harry didn't need that clue to know who it was. Harry recognized Dumbledore's magical signature instantly. Without a second thought, he turned to flee while the man was busy, trying to escape both villains. Before he took two steps, a spell froze him in place.
"You wait right there," Dumbledore instructed as he turned his wand on Voldemort. "I've missed you, Harry."
Anybody who didn't know Dumbledore's true nature would have thought he heard relief in his voice, but Harry heard the sinister intent that promised torturous punishment to come. Voldemort might have heard the true intent in his words too, for he prepared to retreat even as he chuckled to make himself seem unafraid.
"By all means," the Dark Lord said. "Drive him to hate you. Pursue him wherever he goes, until he has no recourse but my service. You will seek my aid eventually, Harry. Mark my words."
He disappeared in a puff of mist. Even if Dumbledore captured him, Harry would never turn to Voldemort for anything but death. Mind racing for a way to flee, Harry was grateful yet again for his suppressed emotion. Only the suppression of the usual horror that Dumbledore induced enabled him to think clearly in the first place. He thought as hard as he could as Dumbledore walked sedately towards Harry, eyes triumphant like a hunter who has his prey trapped. Harry's magic strained against his invisible ties to no avail. He couldn't even move his chin to use the wandless escape Shortcut he had worked so hard to practice. There was no way to free himself. Resigned to his inevitable recapture, Harry closed his eyes and tensed as a wrinkled hand extended towards him.
"Stop right there," a low, intense voice that Harry would have recognized anywhere said.
"Severus," Dumbledore greeted solemnly, no concern in his tone. He was always putting on a show for anyone who might be watching. "I'm most disappointed in what you've done, after all I've done for you. It's very brave of you to show yourself to me. Have you come to ask forgiveness? If so, I will do what I can to shelter you from Azkaban."
"We're not playing this game again, old man," Snape said, voice shaking only slightly as he stepped in front of Harry so that he was nearly nose-to-nose with his tormenter. "You cannot touch him again."
As he'd promised. Snape was acting like a Gryffindor; Harry had been sure that Snape was only pretending to help him, but apparently the man really did want to shield him from Dumbledore. He probably just wanted Harry for himself, though. Harry wondered if his friends were enough to keep the potions master from trying again. Either way, it was preferable to Dumbledore.
"You'd have him live as a fugitive for the rest of his life?" Dumbledore asked. "I will never abandon the wizarding world's best hope to such an existence."
"Then maybe I really will flee to Voldemort," Harry bluffed, after a flash of inspiration. That thread might keep Dumbledore at bay.
Both men turned to him in alarm. Aghast, Severus silently hoped that the boy was bluffing to chase off Dumbedore. He wasn't sure though, because he himself had turned to the Dark Lord when he needed to escape, though he had eventually decided that serving Voldemort was the greater of two evils. The headmaster also paused, weighing his responses carefully as he decided which of his many secrets he should leverage against Harry's threat.
"I was going to spare you this knowledge," Dumbledore said, still mockingly gentle as he looked at Harry over Snape's shoulder. "But if that is truly your decision, there is something you should know. We spoke of the night Voldemort marked you, but there is a truth I never revealed to you. When the killing curse rebounded, Harry, it made you a horcrux."
Silently, Harry weighed the news. He would have to die then, if he was ever to defeat Voldemort. He had known that he would probably die anyway, so he did not know why the old man had told him about it. Maybe Dumbledore abused him because he considered him a deadman anyway. Only Voldemort had a reason to keep Harry alive. Taking a deep breath, with measured caution, Harry challenged the headmaster: "If I told him that, why would Voldemort kill me?"
"He would have to, if he wanted to extract his soul from you," Dumbledore said, clearly prepared for such a question. "Horcruxes are dangerous, my boy. They influence your behavior, and they bring out the darkness in those around you. Have you noticed yourself acting strangely lately? The horcrux is to blame, and it will eventually harm anyone who is near you for long enough. Only I can shield you from it, Harry."
Even without emotion, Harry's natural compassion weighed his options and found that none were favorable. No matter what he did, someone other than him would suffer. Voldemort would succeed if Harry told him about being a horcrux, and his friends would be hurt if he returned to Dumblefore. His death was inevitable, but he would do the most good by giving himself over to the old man; he wouldn't physically harm anyone that way.
"You win," Harry said, as if he actually had a choice, held immobile by Dumbledore's spell as he was.
"No, you do not," Snape said. Harry had almost forgotten he was there.
The man spread his arms wide, almost as if he were preparing to hug Dumbledore, but Harry could feel the magical discharge that preceded wandless magic. Just as the potions master shouted the spell for a magic explosion, Harry felt hands grab him from behind. As he was apparated away, he saw tendrils of magic from each of Snape's hands flash towards the headmaster in between them, igniting a condensed explosion that shook the earth. The blast of the spell merge with the crack of appartion, and the men disappeared from his sight.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Do you think he meant it about going to Voldemort?" Ron asked.
"Snape doesn't," one of the twins said. "He thinks Harry was bluffing, though we could all understand if Harry was actually tempted to do it."
"Are you saying that he should?" Ron exclaimed, horrified that they might support him in that.
"No, of course not. Ron, calm down. We just said that we would understand, in his current state, if he had considered it. That doesn't mean we think it's okay."
"Alright," Ron muttered.
He heard about what had happened earlier that day from the twins. When they had realized the alley was under attack while Harry was at work, they had known that Dumbledore would not be far behind. Practical despite their mischievous tendencies, they knew that they could not protect him alone, so they had hurried to get Snape. The man had hurried back with them to find Harry, casting a point me spell that only worked for him because he had cast the ward against that spell over Harry in the first place. When he had seen what was happening, Snape told the twins that they should grab Harry and escape with him the moment that he attacked the Headmaster. They had escaped to safety with Harry, closely followed by Snape.
"Did the explosion hurt him?" Ron asked hopefully after a moment of thought, fiddling with the radio-like device the twins had given him before he returned to school.
"He shielded himself, of course, but he was distracted enough for all of us to escape."
"Is Harry alright then?" Ron asked. He hated that he couldn't be with his friend right now. Ron hadn't been able to protect him yet again. What was the point of school, if Harry was off getting hurt while Ron sat on his ass and listened to lectures? "Wait, how are you both talking to me right now? You're never supposed to leave him alone with that bastard."
"Calm down, Ron," his brother told him again. "He's at wok. But after this, it's clear that Snape only wants to protect him."
"Not you too," Ron groaned, frustration leaking into his voice. "I saw him assaulting Harry. You can't just ignore that evidence against him."
"But there's more you need to know," his brother said gently. "We know why Snape was acting —"
"Like such a schitzo. He spent months by Harry's side before we found them. In that time, he was exposed to the horcrux in Harry —"
"Without a break. It's been influencing his mind, and Harry's too, which is why we thought he was losing it. He couldn't think straight."
"Well, Harry definitely has issues from Dumbledore anyway," one of the twins added.
"Why would the Horcrux make Snape assault Harry?" Ron asked, skeptical. It sounded like they were just making excuses for the lecherous git.
"We wondered that too. Apparently, Snape is drawn to Harry because they were both abused by Dumbledore, so —"
"What?" Ron interrupted. "Dumbledore abused that git too? Are you sure?"
"Fred, I guess we forgot that Ronnikins didn't know about that," George said.
"He hasn't exactly spent much time talking to Snape, George," Fred responded.
"Wait, you already knew?" Ron asked, feeling betrayed. They'd even sought out Neville, and Ron had had to force them to show him where Harry was hiding.
"We were more forgiving for a reason, Ron," George said. "We knew that he was messed up too, but what he did was still unforgivable."
"Well, until now," Fred added. "We get it now. Snape's intentions are pure, and he only wants to help. The horcrux is distorting his attraction into something sexual. Snape would never touch a student otherwise, especially with his past."
"Well aren't you forgiving," Ron muttered.
"Have some empathy, Ron," George snapped. "Imagine Snape, a young boy just like Harry, being abused by the most powerful man in the wizarding world, without anybody who could save him, for years and years. You can't just ignore that reality, especially when it's right in front of you when you think of Harry. How can you not understand that?"
Thinking of a second victim churned Ron's stomach. "Do you think…is Dumbledore hurting other students too?"
"Harry doesn't think so, based on how much time the headmaster spent abusing him."
Ron's heart clenched at that, and guilt overcame him yet again. He was getting used the feeling. His best mate had been suffering so much right under his nose, and he had suspected nothing.
"Alright," Ron said. Any more of this and he would get too mad to think straight. "I have to think about this."
"Alright," one twin said. "And Ron, if the Headmaster calls you for any reason, get away as fast as you can. He will be able to look into your mind. Tell Hermione and Neville too."
Ron nearly threw the radio in his hands. There was so much he didn't know. "Alright," he said seriously, jaw set in a grim line as he considered how they could avoid Dumbledore at all costs. It was going to be challenging.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
When Ron met Hermione and Neville in the room of requirement and told them what he had learned, he saw immediately that Hermione didn't know how to handle the news. Her grades hadn't slipped at all, but she clearly wanted to be elsewhere. Ron was always watching her, so he saw the way that her eyes would mist over at random times, and he saw the way they glistened after she heard that Snape was also Dumbledore's victim. Clearly, she was willing to forgive the man. But it was emotional Hermione, so Ron couldn't fault her for it.
He wasn't so busy watching Hermione that he missed Neville's relief at the news. Neville had sided with Snape from the beginning, and Ron wondered just how much he had already known. Probably most of it.
"I wish I was with him," Neville confessed. There were bags under his eyes, and he had been even more preoccupied than Hermione lately. "Being here isn't the same now that we know the truth."
Ron should have said something encouraging, or urged the boy to take better care of himself, but his innate competitiveness flared up. "Of course, we all want that," Ron said. "Harry needs me and Hermione right now."
The plump boy looked at him with the eyes of a hurt puppy, and Ron could see that his words stung. It was a low blow, reminding the boy that he was not originally part of their group, and he instantly regretted it.
Sensing the tension between the two boys, Hermione interceded, "And I'm even more worried about the Headmaster reading our minds and finding Harry. As long as we're here though, you boys really should try to study as much as possible. It's hard with everything else going on, but we need every advantage we can find."
It always went back to studying with her. Ron groaned, but inside he was relieved by the familiarity of her reaction. There was no one more reliable than Hermione when you needed someone to ground you. Ron rubbed a hand over his scarred eye.
"Does you eye bother you?" Neville asked, clearly willing to forgive Ron for attacking him.
"Naw, it doesn't hurt," Ron said sheepishly, glad Neville didn't hold grudges. "It's just a habit I've picked up ever since I was in the hospital."
"Oh," Neville said.
They fell into a stretched silence, not really sure what to say to each other. Ron and Hermione weren't used to the new dynamic of Neville in their circle of friends, but the pudgy boy was clearly there to stay. He seemed to know more about Harry that any of them these days. Jealous rose in him again, driving him to break the silence.
"Neville, when did you get so close to Harry?" Ron asked.
Hermione's disapproval burned into the side of his head. He scowled petulantly at her, but couldn't ignore the prickle of his conscience that always nagged at him when she looked righteous like that.
"What?" He whined. "I was just acting."
"I-I guess we're not all that close," Neville said. "I've always thought Harry was amazing. I'm sort of a c-coward, but even though he has a much harder life than me, he's always thinking about others and making the impossible happen. He's lucky you noticed that he put up silencing charms at night and forced him to take them down."
It was astounding; Ron had thought he was being subtle. "You noticed that?" He asked.
"Of course I did," the boy said. "Were you trying to hide it? I woke him up when I saw him tossing around in silence once, but he ignored me when I told him it was alright if he didn't silence himself. Then a week later he was back to normal, and you were right by him when he started screaming. I knew you must have done it."
"Yeah," Ron agreed. It was hard to stay jealous of Neville when he praised you like that. "Harry's like that. He hates attention, but he's got such a bloody good heart that he can't just tell people to piss off when they harass him."
"That's what we're here for,: Hermione said. "To support him, and help him do what he has to and make sure nobody bullies him. Or…at least I thought so before…"
Distressed at her grief, Ron jumped to placate her. "We couldn't have known, Hermione," He said. "Dumbledore is… he's stronger than anything I can imagine. And apparently nobody ever catches him when he does things like this. Even if they did —"
"There's really nothing Harry and Snape can do but run away, is there?" Hermione asked.
"That's not true," Neville said, stutterless. "Like I've been saying, I'm going to find a way to take him down, no matter what it takes."
"How?" Ron asked, skeptical despite the confidence in the other boy's voice. "How can you realistically do something like that?"
"I don't know exactly, but I am studying, Hermione. I've decided to study law and get my masters in Herbology as fast as I can so I can start earning money and figuring out how to do something. If I make my way up in the world, maybe I can reach him one day."
"Your masters, this young?" Hermione asked. Ron could already see her gears spinning. All that studying explained why Neville looked so exhausted that he could drop at any time.
"The youngest ever is sixteen," Neville said. "It will take a couple of years of non-stop studying for me, but I think it's possible, and it's been done before. I was…actually thinking of ski-skipping my NEWTS to focus on it, since the only requirement is that you present a topic you researched and pass a test. Well, there's a test for law too."
"And if you have your mastery, your NEWT scores won't matter," Hermione mused. "Nobody will question whether you know what you're doing."
Ron was floored. Here he was, focusing all his energy on avoiding Dumbledore and accusing Snape, when Neville had already been thinking about years into the future. The other Gryffindor truly was devoted to helping Harry, and Ron couldn't hate anyone who looked out for his best mate so well.
"Well," he told his friends. "I can see you've already won Hermione over. There's no way she'd pass up the chance for more studying, not when it could even help Harry. I guess maybe I'll join in on your plan too."
"You would do that? Something I thought of?" The genuine awe in Neville's voice stung. Had he really made that low of an impression on the other Gryffindor?
"I'd do anything it takes to help Harry," Ron said. "We're lucky to have your help, Neville."
The boy flushed at the praise, but Ron could see that he was pleased. Hermione beamed at him, which was an added bonus. It was rare that he won her praise on accident.
"So, what kind of mastery do you want, Ron?" Hermione asked.
"Defense," He answered instantly. "I could work in the criminal department, and make my way up until I had the power or contacts to expose Dumbledore, and with Neville in law, I'll have help from that side too."
"You sure thought of that fast," Hermione said. "Why not an auror?"
"Aurors catch bad guys, but they're not the once who keep them in jail or make the laws. That's not the kind of help Harry needs," Ron said. He hadn't thought of that before, but it was true. "What about you, Hermione?"
"Maybe Arithmancy," she said. "Or charms, or maybe something I've never studied like healing. Oh, I want to learn everything!"
"Well it's not like you have to choose right this minute," Neville said.
"I know," Hermione sighed. "I have to try to think of something that could actually help Harry. Still, I wish there was something we knew would work, like if we could just undo all of the harm that Dumbledore has done."
"What, like going back in time?" Neville asked.
Hermione frowned thoughtfully, the wrinkles on her forehead signaling deep thought. "There are time turners, but is something like that even possible?"
"No," Ron said. "I've never heard of anything like that, and if it could happen, I'm sure that the Unspeakables or someone even more powerful has a lock on it."
"I've never heard anything like that either," Neville said. "But I guess it's theoretically possible."
Ron saw the dangerous spark in Hermione's eyes.
"Hermione, it's probably better to focus on the mastery," Ron told her warily. "Don't waste your time pursuing a dead end."
"It must be possible," Hermione muttered, more to herself than him. "It would help us fix everything, if we could go back to before Dumbledore had so much power. Maybe people would be able to see the truth then."
"Hermione, don't —"
"Would you do it?" Hermione asked. "To save Harry and punish him, would you do it, even if it meant you could never return to the present?"
"I would," Neville said. "After everything Harry's done for me, I would do it for him."
"I guess if it were possible," Ron agreed reluctantly. He would certainly follow Hermione wherever she went. "For Harry, I'd do it. But Hermione —"
"We'll have to see what Harry thinks, and Snape I suppose," she mused.
"Hermione —" Ron tried again.
"You focus on the masteries and the ministry, Ron, Neville," Hermione said. "If this is possible, if Harry agrees, I can't just ignore the chance."
Ron knew when arguing was futile. Hermione was passionate when you have her a cause to fight for, and she probably really would spend years looking before she gave up. And even then, she would always be on the lookout for a new lead.
He glanced at Neville, who seemed taken aback by her whirlwind of energy. Ron caught his eye when he saw him open his mouth to protest, and shook his head. Hermione was hooked, and if anyone could make the impossible happen, it was her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I rearranged the plot of this and the next two chapters SO MANY TIMES to try to make it all work. The section of Harry in the middle of a chapter of Ron might seem a bit strange, but it's the only way I was able to work everything out. Tell me if you see anything inconsistent or someone seems out of character. After the next two chapters, the group WILL be in the past, I promise! I'm already almost done with the next chapter, so it won't be another year before the next one. I have no idea how that even happened. I also just moved to NYC for the next few months.
So, to help me get back into writing shape, please request a drabble. It'll be short, but just give me a topic and I'll get one back to you asap. As an incentive, here's a drabble I wrote at one point about Harry and Dumbledore to explain his self-loathing when Neville first finds him:
Drabble: Harry
They stared at him and he straightened his back, tossing his head to show them that he didn't care. So what if he was a parselmouth? That didn't mean that he would suddenly confess to a crime, that he was suddenly worth less than he had been moments before they knew him a little better.
"They're not treating you right." Hermione told him later, like cold balm on a bruise. "It's not fair what they're doing. You'd never do something like that!"
Harry gaped at her for a moment, and then he smiled until his jaw was stretching because someone believed in him. Someone who knew him even better than the rest of the school believed in him and was taking his side instead of locking him away in a cupboard without a chance to defend himself.
Malfoy told him that he was stupid and mocked him for the dementors but Harry didn't care because Hermione knew him better.
Wrinkly hands pawed at his face and pushed fingers between his lips, grabbing his tongue and stretching it out of his mouth like a torture device. Harry couldn't move because of the ropes around his neck as Dumbledore whispered in his ear that *this was the organ that made him like Voldemort.*
He'd failed all of Dumbledore's lessons by talking in Parseltongue because it made him weak and inferior. He couldn't control himself, but Dumbledore comforted him as he cried and promised that he'd reforge Harry into something stronger.
It was ironic when the embers on his tongue hissed as they seared him. Harry screamed until his voice was gone, hearing the snake-like sound and feeling the pain he deserved for having such evil in him.
He couldn't talk later, and it was for the best, he thought, as Dumbledore's accusing eyes chased him back to his room. His yearmates stared and he broke this time because they were right. It was his fault that Dumbledore, who understood him even better than Hermione, had to hurt him. No matter how many times the man threatened to summon the embers directly into his throat, Harry still slipped up and let people hear the evil voice that dwelled inside him.
Years later, Harry woke in a forest with a burning arm beside broken pots and remembered Dumbledore's lesson. He wondered if he should try the embers himself this time.