Chapter 13: So At Last

Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly I would have a mime beaten each episode. When that happens, you'll know I've gained control.

June 12, 2022

I hadn't done this in a long time, but there are some skills you never lose. The difference this time was that after I picked the lock and swung the door open, it opened onto nothing. Blank, freshly painted walls. No sculptures in progress. No couch that had at times been my bed, my chair, my place to make out with Freddie. Nothing.

I closed the door and locked it behind me, just in case Lewbert decided to do a sweep. He was still working there, still as grumpy as ever. I think his mole had grown some, though.

Despite everything, Carly hadn't really believed Spencer was really going to leave, but she had been wrong. She thought something would make him stay. When she realized he was serious, she had been pissed. She didn't talk to him for weeks. It was actually me who convinced her to talk to him. Sam Puckett, peacemaker. Who would have believed it? Freddie wouldn't have.

Carly had taken little time to forgive Spencer. Five minutes after going over to his apartment she had been crying in his arms. Two minutes later I was doing the same. Spencer hadn't been just a brother to Carly; he'd been brother and mother and father. He had been the same way for me. He had seen me being Sam and had been okay with that. Mostly. And I loved him for it.

But, looking around the empty apartment, I didn't love him for this. It was so foreign, so antiseptic. The apartment had been full of messes and love and fire. None of that was here. It was like going back home...and well, finding home had run away.

Other things were changing. Carly was pregnant. Again. Shiori was, too. And so was Melanie. It was like they planned it.

Invisible Sorrow had won a few awards around the country. There had been a few places that were using it to help people deal with their miscarriages. Shiori had told me that. She had written me; I couldn't believe that. Freddie is a good man. He loves you, although sometimes I wonder if that is good for him. Maybe she had hung around with Mrs. Benson. You treat him well, or I will have to intercede. I know samurai. I think she was kidding about that last part.

Mrs. Benson had finally started to to change her lifestyle. Freddie had texted me that she had begun to dabble in Buddhism. I believed him, but it was still hard to picture Mrs. Benson doing that.

I walked upstairs to the studio.

But it was no studio. Not anymore. The same white paint covered its walls. I think it hurt worse here. Maybe Freddie wasn't the only one who was able to find complete happiness in this room.

I tried to picture it the way it had been.

"It doesn't look right, does it?"

I turned around, and there he was, looking at me from the door, the half-smile on his face, the raised eyebrow.

"Took your time showing up, nub," I said. Puckett rule 10: Don't show surprise.

"Well, I like to make an entrance." He came over and stopped, putting his hand out in the air, and I realized he was standing where his cart usually was, and his hand was where it should have been able to touch his laptop. He smiled.

"What are you doing here, Freddie?"

"Maybe I missed you, Sam."

"What are you really doing here, Freddie?"

"Well, I did what I needed to do. The doc's done. I'll be showing it in New York in two months-Ani will be there. And I will probably travel places and do some other docs. But it's time for me to come home." He moved in front of me. "And maybe I missed you, Sam." I looked away from the intensity in his eyes.

"How'd you get in here, Freddie?"

"What?"

"I locked the door. How'd you get in here?"

"You don't think you're the only one who can pick a lock, do you?" He brought his hand up to his chin and positioned it like he was thinking, reminding me of those ridiculous headshots he had once had made. I bit down a laugh. "Oh, there's also this." He lifted one of his hands and let a key ring dangle from his index finger. "Technically you're trespassing, Puckett. I could have you arrested."

"What? You're renting here?"

"No, I bought it. I'll be living here for a while, since I want to be able to take care of my mom, but I'm not quite insane enough to actually live with her. I don't know that I'll actually live here for long, but I just can't imagine this place being outside the family." He looked around fondly.

"So you're sticking around," I said, ignoring my heart rate increasing.

"That's the plan. Unless you have any objection."

"Why should it matter to me?"

"Because it does, Sam." And he stepped closer to me, reminding me of that night when we were playing our own little game of chicken. That night when we had started to stop playing the game.

"So it does. What are you going to do about it, Benson?" I smirked.

"This," he said, and he moved the rest of the way to me and kissed me. My arms went around his neck and pulled the kiss deeper.

I don't know how long we kissed. At some point my hands came down and ended up holding his hands. We leaned against each other, his forehead resting on top of mine, his eyes looking into mine.

"I'm home, Sam. If you'll have me." I looked at him.

"Maybe I'll give you a chance, Benson. Considering...I love you, and all that nonsense." My hands didn't even twitch in his, which I found a little surprising myself.

He smiled at me.

"Get over yourself, Benson. I'm just sticking with you until a better prospect comes along."

"When do you think that might be, Puckett?"

"Never." And I kissed him this time. A few minutes later we broke apart again.

"So I understand we have to get you pregnant pretty quickly to catch up," he said.

"Freddie!"

"Kidding." He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. "I don't like looking at this room empty. Let's get out of here." He leaned down and grabbed my hand again. We started to leave, but when we got to the door, I turned back around.

"Sam, if you love me, just say so."

"Nyeah."

"Nyeah."

Ten years ago I had the option to tell him I loved him back. I did love him back. But I didn't tell him.

"Freddie, what are you going to do with this room? Set up the iCarly studio again?" He looked back at the room.

"No. I cherish everything we did here, but that is the past. Sometimes we just have to put the past in boxes and concentrate on the future. Those boxes will always be there, but we can't get stuck in them. I think it's taken me a long time to figure that out." He bent down and kissed me again. "But now it's time for the future. And you're mine."

In my mind I saw a boy and girl in this room, trading insults and sharing kisses. I thought about them, wondering if I had the opportunity to talk to that girl, if I would tell her to do anything differently.

As I looked at the man holding my hand, I thought maybe I would have, but it didn't matter. I was pretty happy where I was.

A/N:I think that the "epilogue" is probably going to be an additional chapter, not an epilogue. I think you'll see why when you see it. Oh, and it will also be two chapters, not one. I could make it one chapter, but I think it works better as two. You'll see why when you see it.

The next chapter should be up possibly tomorrow or on Sunday. Next chapter will follow soon after.

Thanks for reviews from ShooshYeah35, xXBrittanyXx, Dani396, and Flutter360.

ShooshYeah35: I'm not sure if the drunken phone call will ever come up. I've done a first draft of the next chapter, but not the last chapter, and it isn't in there. It may end up being something like Freddie giving up the cruise to Missy; while I would like that to be mentioned at some point in the show, I really don't think it will. You would think, based on the path their relationship appears to be taking in this chapter, that both those events would come up at some point. But that doesn't mean either of them would be mentioned within the scope of this story. Honestly, I have other things that need to be dealt with (you'll see that at the end of the next chapter).