disclaimer: the x-files do not belong to me, i'm simply borrowing characters and situations for recreational purposes and my immense enjoyment.

a/n: just something to clear up after reading your comments: it was never my intention to say that Ethan did not want Anna because she was a girl, only because he didn't want a child. so sorry for not being more clear on that.

~July, 1989~

"Mama, Mama, Mama," Anna whimpered from her playpen. Scully sighed, staring at her daughter from the kitchen table. She had been thrilled when she said her first word exactly one month ago that day, "mama," but was in no mood to listen to her whine. Their air conditioner had busted last night, it was 94˚outside with 97% humidity, and fans weren't doing the trick. She had been trying to get ahold of her landlord all day, but he conveniently was on vacation. Her daughter's hair stuck to face and curled with sweat, just like her own.

"I'm sorry baby," she said, handing Anna a bottle full of cold water. There was nothing she could do other than hope she would fall asleep soon. It would be a waste to go to her parents', Scully had to be at work at 5. The apartment was so stuffy, but opening up the windows would make whatever relief the fans were providing of no use. They needed something to preoccupy their time, and Scully's slow-cooked brain could only think of one thing.

"Do you wanna talk to Mulder?" Anna's whole face perked up. She was absolutely fascinated by Mulder, she always had been. But since she was becoming more independent and showing more of her personality, their relationship had really blossomed. Whenever he came through the door, she would get so excited she'd start to squeal and clap her hands. Any time her mother even said his name, she would perk up. She loved him. All of him. His strong arms, his day-old stubble, his voice. It was evident. She picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Mulder," he answered, ever the professional. Anna wasn't the only who couldn't control herself when she heard his voice.

"We're dying over here."

"What's up?"

"Air conditioner went out. Do you have any idea how hot summer in DC is?"

"I have kind of an idea. How are my girls?"

Scully's heart fluttered. He used that distinction for both of them. They were his girls.

"Hot and crabby. Here, the little one wants to talk to you," Scully said, holding up the phone to Anna's ear. The baby looked like she was almost expecting his voice to come out of the device. They had done this before. The phone was their own personal Mulder machine. "Say hi to Mulder."

"Eh," Anna sighed.

"Hi darling. I hear you and Mommy have been having fun today, being trapped in an oven."

The baby was silent, so enthralled.

"Don't worry, I'll take you swimming later," Anna smiled at that. Mulder could almost hear her reactions. "Do you wanna go to the pool?"

He was almost certain she knew the word "pool," but Mulder wasn't 100% sure. She was such a good baby, she'd smile at him when he said most things. He'd been taking her with him to the YMCA lately since it was so hot, and she loved the water. At first, that hadn't been the case. He'd carry her with him into the pool and she'd clamp up the second water touched her skin. As cute as it was to him when her baby arms and legs clung to him, it was important that she got used to the water, and now she was a champ. She liked it most when he went under the water and popped back up before her as she sat in her baby floater and laughed. But his goggles scared her, so Mulder would often come home with bloodshot eyes.

"Alright sweetheart, we'll go to the pool tonight."

"Make sure she takes a bath tonight, then," Scully told him, having heard the entire conversation.

"I'll just bring the bubbles with us."

"Ha," she said sarcastically.

"Listen, Scully, if your place is too hot, take Anna over to my place and you guys can stay there until it's fixed."

"Mulder, my landlord is on vacation."

"So? You can stay there a few days then. I don't mind."

She certainly hadn't called him to solicit a place to stay. She felt a bead of sweat run from her neck all the way down her back, though, and she couldn't refuse.

"I'll have dinner ready when you get home. Just promise you'll wait a half hour after eating to swim."

"You got it. See you when I get home."

See you when I get home. Such a simple sentence, but it held so much weight for Scully. He was willing to take her and her teething daughter in for a few days, filling up more and more space in their lives. It was getting to the point where Scully couldn't even see herself with anyone but Mulder, but she'd been in that situation before. If he told her he wanted more, she wouldn't be able to resist. If he grabbed her by her shoulders and kissed her, she wouldn't be able to push him away. But for now, she was happy with their long hugs and hand holds. They were as much a declaration of love as any.

"Lucy, I'm—"

"Don't," Scully said, coming out of the kitchen to meet him. He could tell she was irritated, but she was smiling.

"Get ahold of your landlord yet?"

"I've given up on him. I don't have the money to get a stupid air conditioner fixed, and I certainly don't have the money to get a new one. I guess we'll just be here until he returns my calls."

"Well that's quite alright."

"Are you sure? We could always stay at my mom and dad's," Scully offered, not sure he'd want to be around Anna when her teeth started giving her trouble at 3 in the morning.

"No. You guys are staying right here. Now where is Miss Anna?"

"In your room watching Mr. Rogers. Which brings me to sleeping arrangements…"

"You two take my room. I'll take the couch."

"Mulder, you always sleep on the couch at my place."

"I usually sleep on the couch here too."

"Why?" He shrugged. God, she looks cute in her uniform, was really where his mind was. Blame it on the heat. He'd seen her in it a million times, but that afternoon, as she stood in the front hall with him, he wanted to devour her. It was going to be hard to keep his emotions under wraps while they were living in the same space, he believed. But he knew that she had been treated badly by enough men in her life to expect her to want to jump into a relationship with him. He'd have to let her make the first move. If she didn't, he was perfectly fine being in a platonic friendship with her. Well, not perfectly fine.

"Okay, well I have to go to work. There's grilled chicken and vegetables waiting for you on the stove."

"When I left for work this morning, there were neither chicken nor vegetables in this house."

"Yeah, we're going to have to talk about that. Anna and I can't live on orange juice and take out. I don't think you can either."

"Duly noted. I'll leave you money tomorrow and you can go grocery shopping," Mulder gulped, hoping he wasn't making it sound like he expected her to do it, "if you want. Or I could go."

"Ha! You, shop for food? I think Charlie could do a better job, Mulder, and he gets 99% of his caloric intake from beer. No, I'll do the shopping before I leave for work tomorrow," she gulped, hoping she hadn't insulted his ability to take care of them, "or we can wait. It's up to you."

"Our schedules don't coordinate very well, Scully, I think one of us is going to have to do all the shopping."

"Alright. I'll go tomorrow morning."

Mulder nodded. He wanted desperately to do domestic things with Scully and Anna, however mundane they were. He loved doing those little chores with them, he loved being out in public with them, he loved it when people mistook them for a family. But it was not in the fates that they would go grocery shopping together.

He was sleeping when she got home, sprawled out on the couch like he was in a coma. But there was a small part of him, a part he couldn't control, that stayed alert in case Anna woke up. That part noticed when the doorknob jiggle with the lock and she stepped in the apartment.

Even though it was messed up and confusing, Scully loved her life as she looked down upon her friend on the couch. He was in the living room, content; her daughter was in the bedroom, content. That single word described the situation to a t. Content. She sat on the end of the couch and patted her friend's foot, thinking.

"Scully?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm sorry Mulder, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No, it's okay," he said, sitting up and motioning for her to scoot closer to him in the middle, "how was work?"

"Well, the good news is I made a record number of tips tonight. The bad news is they mostly came from one creepy old man hanging out there alone," and as they laughed, she let it slip out, "this is not where I imagined I'd be at 25."

"I didn't think it was."

"Don't get me wrong, I love my life and I love the people in it, but… this isn't where I'm supposed to be right now."

"Where are you supposed to be right now?" Mulder asked, a little hurt because if she weren't where she was now, then they wouldn't be sitting on his couch having a conversation. They may not even have met and he wouldn't know the beautiful, wonderful person she was.

"Probably in my first year of residency. It's hospital training for doctors. After five years I'd probably take the board certification test and then continue working in that hospital. Or open my own practice. I hadn't decided."

She lit up when she was talking about the dreams she once had. Mulder loved Scully his friend and Anna's mother, but he wanted her to be able to reach any goal she had set out for herself. He wanted her to be happy with every aspect of her life. Plus, he didn't like the idea of her working in a bar after all her years of undergrad and med school. She deserved to be Scully the doctor if that was her dream.

"Then why don't you go for it?" he asked like it was the most simple thing in the world. When he said it like that, it was harder for her to tell him exactly why she couldn't.

"It's a lot of work. A lot of work. And it doesn't pay well. We're talking like, $21,000 a year. I can't raise a daughter in this city, in any city, on only that. Rent alone would swamp me."

"Then get a roommate."

"I just don't trust anyone enough to be around Anna. And do you know how many roommates I'm going to go through in a five year period? It's too fickle."

"You know you could always live with me to save money."

It came out before he could stop it, and once the statement had danced itself off of his tongue, it wouldn't come back. There wasn't anything left to do but own his slip. It actually wasn't a bad idea. He was certainly roommate material. He already loved Anna, spent a lot of time with Scully anyway, and was trustworthy enough.

"What?" she asked in disbelief. Was he drunk?

"Yeah. I've got a steady job. I hope I'm the type of person you would trust Anna to be around. I know your routine and you know mine."

"But Mulder, it's just… it's so much to ask."

"You didn't ask. I offered."

"You wouldn't know what you'd be getting yourself into. I mean, you and me living together and raising Anna for five years at the least. What happens at the end of those five years? Do we just go our separate ways because we don't need each other anymore? What happens if you meet someone? You can't bring her home to your friend and her daughter who also just happen to live with you. There are just so many things that can change in five years."

"You've got a point there, Scully. You've got many points, and they're all excellent. But here's what will never change: how much I care about you and Anna. And when you care about someone that much, their dreams are worth the sacrifice."

She put her hands all over his face, his chest, and his arms. Extremely ticklish, he squirmed away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"Are you real? You can't be real. Real people don't talk like that."

Mulder laughed, pulling her into his embrace. He knew it was a long shot, but he wouldn't feel like he did everything he could if he didn't ask her.

She was still laughing moments later when she was slipping out of her clothes and into bed. His bed that smelled like him. One check on Anna and she was content enough to feel sleepy. Walking around the bed, though, she felt her shin hit something sharp. The bottom drawer of his dresser was slightly open, and she couldn't resist herself.

It was a dresser. She was preparing herself to find jeans, socks. At the very worst she was expecting to find his boxer shorts. No. Instead, several video tapes with glossy cases smiled up at him. Not smiled. Grinned seductively. Unbeknownst to her, Scully had stumbled upon Mulder's porno collection. That spurred a whole other round of laughter from her. She glanced at every title. There was a particularly worn one sporting the name "Scarlet Fever." On the cover were four bright red-headed women in various positions. Not wanting to think about why Mulder had a video dedicated exclusively to red-headed porn stars, she shut the drawer quickly and got under the covers. Any small inklings of hope Mulder had to get her to move in with him and go back to school were laughed away. And yet, a certain throb had settled itself between her legs, and nothing she could begin to think about would make it go away.

The next Wednesday, Scully was working behind the bar. It was almost midnight and she didn't have that long left in her shift to go. There were three men at the counter, two younger men and one older one. The older one had been making passes at her all night. She ignored him like she was taught, but as he got more drunk, he got less tolerable. A feeling had told her that he was going to cross the line sometime that night, but it was still a surprise when he grabbed her wrist after she refilled his drink. Pulling her close, he whispered with his beer breath, "How much of my cock do you think you can fit in your mouth?" Jerking herself out of his grip, Scully slapped him across the face. Hard.

"Chris, I'm leaving," she told the bouncer, wanting to get out of that place as soon as possible. For some reason, she started thinking about her dad. How upset would he be if he knew that she worked in a place where men talked to her like that? Like she was a piece of garbage? Like she was an object? Then she thought about her own daughter. Her heart rate sped up when she thought of someone talking to her that way. But how could she absolutely abhor that kind of life for her daughter if she was living it herself already? She needed to be a strong role model for Anna. She needed to be able to achieve her dreams no matter what was thrown in her way. And most importantly, she needed to know that Anna would never grow up and believe that she was the reason her mother never accomplished what she had wanted to. She needed to be strong and successful regardless.

Mulder could tell she was upset when she walked in. He stood up to meet her, and she threw herself into his arms. Not saying anything for a few moments, they just stood there, Mulder trying his best to comfort her, even though he had no idea what was wrong.

"I'm applying for residencies in the morning. Pull out the paper, we have to look for a three bedroom. I'm am going to become a doctor."

so where do you think this story is going? you didn't think that Scully would work in a bar for the rest of her life, did you? anyway, that part about her being a strong role model for Anna is something i personally believe strongly in and i know Scully would too. and even though residency is a lot of work and i calculated for inflation generously in the case of her job, i know that's what she would do. what do you guys think?