Someone New by Hozier
And so I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
Dean Winchester didn't fall in love with the angel in one heart stopping moment, it was little moments spread out over months and years. So insignificant that he didn't even realize it was happening. There was no burning sexual need, there was no breath taking moment of realization, there was no heart swelling, soul singing, sunlight draped epiphany when he realized he loved Castiel but one day when he was old, tired and ready for the end he looked into those blue eyes that never aged and he just knew.
It started with little things. Cas's loyalty always impressed the Winchesters so he guessed that was where it started really. His over riding desire to good in the world was another. Even when Cas messed up, and boy did he ever mess up, he was just trying to be good.
The first hint that Dean had that his feelings for his best friend were a little more then friendly was when he was trying to teach Cas about modern pop culture. Metatron might have instilled all the awareness for the jokes and references but it didn't make him understand it all. So Dean made it his personal mission to make Cas watch Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, The Lord Of the Rings and any other movie that played an integral part in Dean's vocabulary and sarcasm. And for good measure he threw in a few hidden guilty pleasures like The Princess Bride and Pretty Woman. Those movie nights happened when Sam was out doing research or otherwise preoccupied. Dean would drag Cas to the sofa, pop some popcorn and spend the next two hours telling him which parts were the best and when to really pay attention. Of course he needed have told him to pay attention, every time he snuck a glance at the angel he was engulfed in the tv and not paying Dean any attention. Dean was able to really look at Cas as much as he wanted. He studied the way the light from the tv painted colours across his nose and jaw bone. He finally noticed how Cas's sexed up hair wasn't just black, it was a deep brown with lighter tones of brown throughout. And he noticed how those dry chapped lips of his widened or thinned with his understanding.
Another thing Dean remembers that made him love the angel even more was trying to get him to learn to cook. Dean himself was very good in the kitchen and he thought it was something Cas should participate in. Just in case he had to do it on his own some day. So they started with frying bacon. Dean gave step by step instructions on the temperature of the pan, the placement of the strips of bacon, when to tell when it was done just right and how to never, ever touch a cast iron frying pan even if it wasn't cooking at the moment. This lesson came after Cas needed to heal his hand in frustration. Dean chuckled while the angel complained about not knowing the handle would be so hot. After a few more lessons Dean trusted that Cas could at least make breakfast for himself if he absolutely had to.
Of course Dean moved on from cooking to baking. Every person on the planet should at least be able to bake a pie in Dean's opinion. Cookies were good, cake in a pinch, but pie…everyone needed pie. So Dean stole some of Sam's farm stand organic crap apples and him and Cas spend an entire afternoon making apple pie. Dean did most of the work but Castiel watched him avidly. He even let the angel make the cuts in the top to let the steam out. When he pulled one very golden and flakey apple pie from the oven Cas practically beamed at him. And that right there was another moment of course.
Dean had always been impressed by people who could fight with style. Why do you think he loved all those old Kung Fu movies so much? So when he had Cas fighting by his side he was always a little stunned at the fluid grace and power Castiel fought with. He knew he was an warrior in Heaven but that wasn't the same as seeing Cas take on demons or monsters without expression or even much effort. And the way that stupid trench coat swirled around him didn't help. It was dramatic and Dean hated to admit it got him a little hot.
Castiel didn't get Dean's music. He just didn't. No matter how many hours they spent in the car listening to classic rock Cas just didn't get why Dean loved it so much. Then again neither did Sam so he could be forgiven. So to try and get Cas to find some kind of music he liked Dean let Sam install his iPod dock again. And they got something called Spotify. Sam was thrilled to have something other then his father's old hair metal tapes to listen to. It wasn't until they were riding down some highway in backwater Florida that Cas actually found something he liked. Sam had let the music go from whatever it wanted and they weren't really paying attention to it. Until Sam went to change a song and Cas's hand came over the seat to grab his shoulder.
"Leave it." his deep gravel voice came out with a slight blush on his cheeks.
"Really Cas? This is what you like?" Sam asked surprised.
"The words are poetry Sam, listen to what the man is saying. And the voice of the female accompaniment is angelic." Cas explained and Dean smiled to himself.
"Alright Cas, if you say so." Sam shrugged and looked back out the window. Dean kept grinning. Cas liked hip hop.
One thing that did stick out in Dean's mind about falling in love with Cas is the moment he knew there was something inside of him called jealousy. Dean was a love em and leave em kind of guy so jealousy just didn't make sense when he was the one most people were jealous of. But one night when they had managed to drag Cas to a bar and have a couple of beers Dean discovered he was indeed a jealous man. At least where the angel was concerned. A little blonde girl was at the bar when Cas went to get the next round of drinks and with one glance Dean knew she was going to make a play. He should know, he had seen it enough. Sure enough after Cas put in his grin order the girl's fingers found his arm and she gave him a stunning smile. Cas didn't seem prepared for it, his social awkwardness actually playing in the girls favour. Dean wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying but he could tell by Cas's relaxing eye brows that he was happy to be talking to the girl. And as she sidled closer to him Dean knew she was awful happy to be there as well.
"Dean?" Sam asked watching his brother closely. He glanced up to see Cas and the girl and a smirk came over him.
"Shut up Sammy." Dean said not even looking at his brother. He continued to glare at the back of the girls head and when Cas didn't even notice the pitcher of beer the bartender placed on the bar Dean's green eyes narrowed in anger. He pushed up from the table and Sam's hand shot out to grab his arm.
"They're just talking Dean." Sam said trying to calm his brother down. Dean seemed to listen and he sank back into his seat to sulk. Cas finally said good bye to the girl, to her disappointment by the look on her face, and joined them with the beer.
"Did you get her number?" Dean growled out and he knew he sounded like an asshole.
"Why would I do that?" Cas asked him completely unaware of Dean's anger. That seemed to help calm Dean down even more and soon they were back to smiling and drinking.
Time moved on as it always does, apocalypse after apocalypse was diverted or thwarted by the threesome and before Dean knew it he was old. Older then a hunter had any right to be. Sammy aged, found a new girl and settled into a life he had always wanted. It wasn't prefect, or completely 100% normal, but he was happy and that's all Dean wanted. As for him? He and his angel continued to criss cross the country saving people, hunting things, the family business. Until Dean got to be too old to hold up any more. He was 64 when everything caught up with him. He was still trying to hunt, on a vampire hunt specifically, when he made a fatal mistake. The blade entered his chest just kicking the very edge of his heart and Dean fell. Cas was there in a blink, killing the vampire and holding Dean in his lap.
"Hold on Dean, I can heal this." Cas said when Dean grabbed his hand to stop him.
"I'm tired Cas." Dean said as he felt his life pumping out onto the floor.
"You can rest after I heal you." Cas said trying to touch his chest. Dean held his wrist firmly.
"Not his time Cas, not this time." he shook his head. Castiel looked at him with desperation in his eyes.
"I've had a good life Cas. I've saved lots of people, killed Hitler." Dean grinned and Cas chuckled. "But its time now."
"I'm not ready Dean." Cas said and his eyes filled with tears.
"I am." he used his waning strength to put his hand on Cas's cheek.
"I've always loved you Cas, I hope you know that." he said. Cas was trying to give him a weak smile but the tears didn't stop.
"I've loved you since I raised you from Perdition Dean Winchester." Cas replied laying his forehead against Dean's.
"Will you be in Heaven with me angel?" Dean asked with his final breath. Cas opened his mouth to answer but Dean was already gone. Castiel, Angel of the Lord, sobbed like a child as he held the body of the man who had made him live.
After what felt like forever Cas took Dean's body to Sam. He had long since gained his wings back and as he flew across the country with Dean in his arms he used the time to compose himself. Sam would need him to be strong. So he was. He was strong while Sam cried, strong while Sam burned Dean's body and strong while Sam healed. His wife helped with that of course but Cas liked to think he played a part as well.
When Sam's life was truly moving on Castiel said his good byes and flew to Heaven. He made his way down a long hall and placed his hand on the door knob. With one final glance back at his home he pushed open the door and went inside.
"What took you so long angel?"