Chapter 13

Maura's POV

"You like your new bedroom, kiddo?" Jane asks with a smile when Sam walks into her new bedroom, which we are currently painting bright blue.

"Yeah." Sam nods and sits down on the mattress on the floor. The bed isn't assembled yet.

"We have to decide where we're gonna put your pictures later," Jane says while she dips her roller into the paint.

"Hm hm."

I turn around and see worry on Jane's face when she looks at her daughter. The girl is tired and a little off today. She has been spending Saturday with Angela while we moved the stuff out of Jane's old house, and she's with us this Sunday while we paint her new room. Frankie is downstairs putting together a closet for Sam's room and Angela is probably making something to eat in the kitchen.

"You okay, peanut?" Jane asks, putting down her roller to sit next to Sam.

Sam nods but doesn't reply. Jane sighs. "Are you still happy we're gonna live with Maura?"

She nods again. I feel a little out of place and uncomfortable so I go back to painting my part of the wall. "Remember your promise, Sam?" Jane asks softly.

"Yeah."

"What was it?"

"To tells you when I'm not happy."

"Exactly." I hear Jane kissing the girl and I know the look of love she has in her eyes. "You'll tell me when you're not happy here, right?"

"I likes Maura," Sam answers her mother. "She's makes Mommy smile."

I turn around and smile at Jane, seeing her smiling back at me. "Yeah, she does." Jane kisses Sam's light brown hair and rubs her back. "But I wanna know if you're happy. I wanna know if you're okay living here."

"I wanna live at Maura's house."

"You know honey," I put down my roller and kneel in front of Jane and Sam, "it's your house now too. It's our house."

I'm happy to see Sam giggling at my words. "It's not my house. I's too little to have a house."

I chuckle at the girl and gently caress her cheek for a second. "Well, the house is now mine and your Mommy's, and that makes it a little bit yours too."

Sam smiles at me. "Okay."

"Does that sound good, baby?" Jane asks, still rubbing her daughter's back.

Sam nods. "I like the blue's of my room."

"Hm, me too." Jane pecks Sam's cheek and stands up from the mattress to go back to the wall.

"You're just like your mom, you know that?" I say with a smile, standing up to grab my roller. "She doesn't want pink and flowers either."

"Flowers are stupid. I wants blue."

"That's my girl." Jane smiles brightly and gives me a quick kiss.

"Is you always gonna kiss Mommy?" Sam asks me, pulling her small knees up to her chest.

"What do you mean by that, sweetheart?"

"Daddy never kisses Mommy. Is you always gonna kiss Mommy?"

I look at Jane and see her lost in thought. I smile and gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of her ponytail. "I certainly hope so."

"Why's Daddy never kissed Mommy?" Sam asks, curious as always.

"Well," I hesitate and see that Jane is not going to answer. She's painting the wall again. "I think it's because your daddy didn't love her like I do."

"You loves her most?"

"Yes, honey," I smile at her before turning to kiss Jane's cheek. "I love her the most in the whole world."

"Sweetie, can you go downstairs and ask if Grandma has something to drink for you?" Jane asks, her voice soft and sweet.

Sam nods and stands up. "Kiss first," Jane says sweetly, smiling when Sam reaches her arms up and pecks her mother's lips. "I love you, Sammy."

"Love you too, Mama." Sam turns around and walks towards the door. "You too, Maura!"

I smile and watch her walking downstairs. "I love you too, baby girl," I whisper, not even audible for the girl who is already downstairs by now.

"He did love me, Maur," Jane whispers, fumbling with her roller.

I snap my attention towards her and take a deep breath. "I know he did. He just… stopped at some point."

"Why?"

I look at her and see insecurity in her eyes. "I don't know, Jane," I whisper, stepping closer to her. "I don't know. I don't know how anyone could ever stop loving you."

She doesn't need to say it. I know her insecurities. I know her mind, I know her heart. "I will never stop, Jane," I whisper, my voice barely audible. "Never. I promise. With all my heart."

Jane smiles and cups my cheek where I immediately feel wet, sticky paint. "Jane!" I chuckle and pull her hand away, pointing at the blue paint on her fingers.

Jane laughs at me and my blue cheek. "Blue's a good color on you, babe."

"Oh, yeah?" I playfully slap her arm and see that amazing sparkle in her eyes. "On my face?"

Jane raises her eyebrows and grabs my arms, pulling me close as her fingers swipe across my chest, leaving a bright blue trail of paint above the hem of my T-shirt. "Jane!" I squeal and accidentally smack the roller against her arm, covering it in blue paint. I cover my mouth and can't help but laugh.

Jane smiles and grabs the roller out of my hand, throwing it back into the paint. She wraps her arms around my waist and crashes our lips together in a heated kiss. I smile but moan when she deepens it, my hands unconsciously sliding up her sides to her neck. My fingers pull on the hair tie of her ponytail and I take it out to tangle my hands in her now loose curls.

I'm hesitant to take things further but when I feel Jane's hands sliding under my shirt, roaming over the naked skin of my back, I don't hesitate any longer. I pull up her tank top and caress her beautiful toned stomach with my hands. We never break the kiss, our lips pressed against each other, tongues exploring, soft moans and breaths filling the passion-filled air. I've craved this. I crave her. I crave us. Her touch, her scent, her taste… It's filling my heart and mind, my everything.

We don't break the kiss for what feels like hours, the wall painting long forgotten. My lips feel swollen and my lungs are burning, but I don't ever want to end this. Her hands are under my shirt, caressing my skin, my hands are on the skin of her back, gripping, caressing, stroking and clinging to her muscles.

Suddenly she gently grabs one of my hands and leads it away from her back to the top of her jeans, guiding it lower into her cotton black panties. I hesitate but I feel in her touch that this is okay. I slowly lower my hand and gasp when I feel the amount of moisture there.

We break the kiss and Jane smiles shyly, her face inches away from mine, our foreheads touching. "Feel that?" she whispers softly, a little doubtful.

"Yes," my smile widens and I let out a grateful laugh, filled with love and relieve. "Yes, I do."

We both laugh and I move my arms around her neck and jump, wrapping my legs around her waist as she holds me up. My hands massage her scalp and I look deeply into her eyes that are filled with so much love and passion.

"It's been a long time since I've felt like this," she whispers to me, her strong arms keeping me up around her waist.

I smile and I don't think I've ever felt this happy. We're here, together, painting Sam's bedroom, kissing, making out, being in each other's arms… I'm finally happy and I know she is too. I know she's hurt and she has a lot left to process, a lot of pain to conquer and a lot of heartache to go through, but I know we can handle it. I know we are strong enough to handle it.

"Me too, Jane." I lean down to kiss her lips but I can't stop smiling. Our teeth clash together and we both laugh. I've been aroused many times. I had sex with men all the time. I had sex with them, but they didn't mean anything to me. It feels nothing like it feels with Jane. Just one touch of her hands sets me on fire, just a simple kiss makes my stomach do flips, and her hands on my skin ruin my panties like nothing else. But most of all, the sparkle in her eyes fills my heart with more love than I've ever felt in all my life.

"You're beautiful," Jane breathes out, looking at me like I'm a rare piece of art.

I feel my cheeks reddening with a shy blush and smile. "Not nearly as beautiful as you are, Jane."

"We competing?" Jane asks with a smirk, a smirk that makes my stomach tickle. "'Cause that's not fair."

I laugh and comb my fingers through her curls. "And why is that?"

Jane shrugs. "You're the most beautiful woman in the world. I can never compare to that."

As a reply I just capture her lips in another loving kiss. She puts me back down on the floor and wraps her arms around my upper body as my own arms stay around her neck.

"Mommy?" Sam comes walking into the room and I feel Jane sighing against me.

We break the kiss and she smiles at me before turning to Sam in the doorway. "Hey, baby."

"Grandma says you and Maura gotta eat something." She walks towards us and frowns at the blue paint on our bodies, but doesn't comment on it. "She maked snacks."

"We'll be right there, okay?"

Sam nods. "Why's the paint on you, Mommy?"

Jane chuckles and looks at her arm and the paint that has spread on her clothes due to our make-out. "Maura made a mess."

I gasp playfully and pinch her side. "I did not."

"Maura don't make messes!" Sam says with a giggle. "You made messes."

"Alright, alright. Just go get that snack okay? We'll be right there."

Sam smiles and turns around to walk back upstairs.

"I'm sorry…" Jane says, looking into my eyes.

"Why?"

"For not finishing what we started… Sam's just gonna keep coming upstairs if we don't head over."

I smile and brush her hair back after a quick kiss on her lips. "It's okay," I whisper softly, "there's no rush."

"I just…" I sense discomfort in Jane's voice and I feel her muscles tensing.

"You'll feel like this again, Jane," I say with a comforting smile. I know she's afraid her body won't respond anymore if we stop now.

"What if I don't?"

"Then we'll wait. Paint some more walls if we have to." I smile at her chuckle and kiss her lips again. "It'll be okay, Jane."

Jane nods but I see she's disappointed. "C'mon," I whisper, kissing her lips a last time, "let's go downstairs to your daughter."

"Our daughter."

"What?"

She smiles shyly and looks down at her feet. "Our daughter."

"She's not mine, Jane."

"She's not his either." She looks around the room and then finally into my eyes. "She's never been his. You've always been more a parent to her than he ever was."

"I don't want things to move too fast for her," I whisper quietly. "Her father left, a new house, you and me…"

"Nothing's really changing though, is it? You've always been like a mother to her and I know she's always been like a daughter to you." Jane smiles at me and grabs my hand to lead us both downstairs. "We just leave things the way they are."

"I like things the way they are now." I stop her and kiss her lips at the bottom of the stairs. "I really do. But that little girl is the single most important thing and I don't want to go too fast for her." I smile at her and I feel a certain sadness weighing on my chest. "I'm not her mother. We have to take it slow."

"We will," Jane whispers back, looking over my shoulder at Sam and Angela in the kitchen. "She's fine, Maur. She's sad and she senses my pain, but she's fine. She's always been fine when she's with you. She's safe now."

I kiss Jane's lips multiple times before looking into her eyes. "So are you, Jane."

A/N I'll be gone for a week, so no new updates until next Friday or Saturday. But don't worry, I'll be back! Just taking a break to go on vacation. Thank you all for your love and support! It means a lot to me.