Thank you to: Mary's Sheep- I like Silver. :P Hehe. Nobody is perfect. Kats and Twilight- Ok ok...1 minute maybe. :) I appreciate the review! :D You made a good point about the past. I tried to rearange things a bit to make more sense. Thanks for the tip. :) RandomSugarRush- They have a bit more clashing to go. Devan is not the only one with feelings. Hehee. LittleTwilightManiac- That was one of my fav lines too. I find Edward very hard to write. :S Lulu- Amen! I totally agree! Silver will have her say this chapter! Nicole Cullen- Thanks! :D KMac- TV is a zombie box! Haha. Yum. I love my soymilk. Hahaa! Devan IS the grumpy one! Haha. But she does end up in unfortunate situations a lot, true. Silver needs her props. She is a good person too! Cheeky Wallaby- Ya. I thought so too. They can't always get along. Or rather, Silver can't always be so happy. Haha! Crazy Kitty Kat- No problem! :) I am just glad you are still reading and enjoying the story! :D
*Note- Yeeesh. I had this chapter finished Friday night, but fanfiction was not working for me. I couldn't upload it. :( Sorry for the delay. Also...for those of you who read my story, 'Worthy of Love' I know it looks like I skipped its updating turn, but the next chapter is on the way and will be up Monday sometime. (My last day of freedom) Haha. So ya. Updates may slow a bit for a while. I have some artwork that I am desperately trying to perfect to give to my mom for her birthday so it comes first. :) However, I am sure you all know me well enough to know that I am a pretty regular updater so have no fear. This story and 'Worthy of Love' are going to be finished by Christmas I think and then I will try my best to finish 'Fixed Innocence' or start a new story, or...maybe a sequel to 'Worthy of Love' or make this one a trilogy!
Out of Sight
Chapter 13
Sister Wars Continued…
Silver's POV:
I was getting very tired of having to defend myself. I know I was erratic and harebrained at times. Some would call me flighty and irresponsible, but I was not a bad person. I was maybe too honest with my opinions and a bit harsh with my words at times, but I never did anything to hurt anyone's feelings on purpose.
I was getting attacked by Devan and Rosalie about my lack of organization skills, but I hadn't done anything life threatening so I couldn't understand why they were being so negative. The jab about losing my baby had really hurt me. I was not negligent. I loved my friends, family, husband, and my baby and I would do anything to protect them. I even threatened to kill Aro if he came for Devan. Now that is love!
Devan was a grump all the time. She threw temper tantrums, which I had on occasion too, but no one ever thought of calling her childish. I was somehow the one in the wrong because I had ended up pregnant at 16. It was not like I planned to be pregnant.
Many people would say that is not a good argument. Of course I did not plan this. Is it not admirable that I was stepping up and having this child, planning to love it and take care of it? That was commitment and determination right there! Why was I frowned upon? I was looking this situation in the face and planning to handling it. Where was this attack on my personality coming from?
My sister was resentful of my talent, I knew that much. She thought that seeing the past made my life easier in school and therefore I didn't deserved to be praised for my good grades. Which is fine, I never wanted praise. I rarely got praise. I resented that she and other's called me a slacker.
What about my other talents that were never acknowledged? Like, my athletic ability? I was captain of all my teams and was a State Dance Champion last year as well. I broke meet records at every swim meet last year. No one noticed how hard I worked at these skills because it was not to do with my education.
I never complained when I would go to my games, recitals, swim meets, championship games and the only ones in the bleachers watching me was Seth and sometimes Emmet. My love for sports and Dance made my accomplishment null and void it seemed. I guess loving what you do makes your success obsolete. Why is that?
I always took what life gave me and went with the flow. How is that a bad thing? I don't think that is irresponsible. I think that is courageous and brave and strong!
*
*
*
For some reason, I was getting the bulk of the flack this evening. Rosalie telling me not to lose my baby had really set a fire within me.
"You are just so naïve, Silver," Rosalie sneered, "In the real world you have to work hard to achieve your goals. You slack off so much in school you have no idea how to focus on a given task because everything has always come so easily to you!"
"What does that mean?" I inquired, burning inside. If I could snap off her pretty blonde head I would have.
"I am just wondering if you have the work ethics needed to raise a child?" she answered snottily, still flipping trough a magazine rudely as she insulted me. I felt my mouth hang open. 'Did she just go there?' I had to ask myself. It seemed unreal that this moment was in real time and not some bizarre dream sequence from a bad movie.
"Come on, Silver. We are just joking around," Devan offered me some comfort, although her smug face ruined the sentiment.
"I'm going to be a good mother," I stated clearly to my sisters as they all giggled at my expense. I couldn't believe that losing my favorite ring and forgetting Devan's iPod at school had somehow led to a 'Let's Rat on Silver Fest!'!
"Of course you are, Darling. No one is doubting you," Mom told me supportively. Dad continued his attempts to read his book, but he nodded a bit to show he agreed with Mom.
"Oh please! Do you remember what you did to Twinkie?" Devan laughed recalling a memory from our childhood in London. I cringed at the name. This story always came back to bite me.
"We were kids! It was an accident!" I proclaimed, hoping she would not rat me out.
"Who was Twinkie?" Alice chirped. She loved hearing childhood stories since she had none of her own to recall. She pounced on the sofa beside Devan and sat on the armrest with her arms wrapped around her knees. She waited gleefully for one of us to explain the story.
"Twinkie…was my goldfish!" Devan told her. "Who I carefully kept alive for 5 years. I got him as a gift from a classmate when our family moved from Australia to England,"
"I've already apologized for this about a hundred times!!" I told Devan, knowing where this was going. 'More look-how-careless-Silver-is talk!' I thought with a grimace. 'At least I don't trip over my own two feet while crossing an even surface!'
"Twinkie traveled across the world in a bag on my lap and I managed to kept him alive. I had him in a bowl by my bedside for 5 years and he remained living the whole time," Devan continued to share her side of the story.
"And then Devan went away to Band Camp and I was supposed to take care of him and I accidentally killed him…the end!" I said impatiently. I hated that I was being dissed here. Alice giggled. Devan rolled her eyes at me.
"Yes! You did! I left Silver in charge of Twinkie for one week. ONE week!" she emphasized words as she spoke. Alice seemed to be enjoying the story. As was mom, regardless of Devan talking poorly of me. I don't think she could see how this was bothering me since I usually take insult with a grain of salt.
It was all in good fun, for them. Devan was joking around at my expense. She continued, "And when I came home, she was cleaning his bowl,"
"So he was alive when you came home?" Alice asked. Devan nodded and looked at me. I glared at her.
"Not for long. I came home in time to bare witness to his tragic death! Silver had left his bowl cleaning to the last minute and I when I arrived home I found her in the bathroom rinsing it out,"
"It was not that dirty!" I justified. I had noticed the bowl get a bit murky on the day Devan was returning from camp so I tried my best to clean it. I have never done it before so I didn't know how. I didn't have any cups and there was only one sink in that bathroom so I had to put Twinkie elsewhere while I scrubbed his bowl. I thought filling the tub and putting him in there was a good idea. 'I was 9 years old for Heaven's sake!'
"So I come in and see her scrubbing the bowl and that is when IT happened!" she said.
"What? What?" Alice demanded. I wondered if she already new the ending of this story or if was in the dark on how this story would end. Alice was eager, regardless, I suppose. I felt a bit betrayed that Alice was so interested to know how I screwed up in this scenario.
"Guess who Silver had moronically put in the tub for safe keeping while she cleaned out his bowl?" Devan asked Alice who was like an anxious kid on the edge of her seat wanting to shout out the answer.
"Twinkie!" Alice replied with a shriek of laughter. Her outburst was musical sounding. I cringed as they all laughed at me.
"Silver pulled out the plug in the tub and Twinkie got sucked down the drain," Devan said, looking pleased to expose my mistake.
"My hand hooked on it when I was reached across for the soap. It was an honest mistake," I explained, "I didn't do it on purpose!"
"How dumb can you be?" Devan asked rhetorically.
"It was a mistake! I have apologized to you so many times. Let it go!" I said, feeling my face heat up. I looked to Mom and Dad for some help. 'Like, hello? She just called me dumb?!'
"Yes, well. The point I am trying to get at is that you'd better get you act together before the baby comes. We don't need you having any more 'honest mistakes'!" Devan mocked playfully. Rosalie laughed.
"My baby is not going to get sucked down a drain pipe!" I announced dramatically as I pulled myself up to my knees. I was not amused and beginning to lose my cool. "You'll probably trip and fall on the baby! Maybe you should try to get 'your act together'!" I snapped back. It was even more annoying that Devan didn't react to my comment. She ignored it.
"Rest in Peace, Dear Twinkie," Devan said seriously. They all laughed again.
Alice and Rosalie laughed the loudest. Devan couldn't help but crack a smile. Mom and Dad shared a disapproving glance with one another, but didn't say a word. 'Why are you not sticking up for me?' I wondered, giving them a pained look.
That was it! I was too emotional to take the heat any longer. When my sister's would not stop snickering about me I lost whatever reserve I had. I was going off the deep end.
'Welcome to Freakoutville...population: Silver!'
"Shut up!" I yelled, my voice cracking as tears burst out from my eyes and streamed down my face. I stood up, moving from Mom's outreached hand. Alice and Devan looked shocked and they didn't move. Rosalie scoffed at my cry.
"Silver…"Dad said soothingly, trying to calm me down, but he didn't get up. I glared at him harshly.
"No, I will not calm down!" I shouted at him. I turned to my sisters and cried, "I don't have to take this shit from you! What have I ever done that has been so awful? I make mistakes, okay?! Can't I make mistakes?"
"Honey, lower your voice. Why don't you take a seat and we can talk about this in a more respectable manner," Mom offered gently, now by my side, attempting to lead me to the love seat. I didn't comply and I wretched away from her hands. I wiped my wet face with my sleeve and glared at Mom.
"No! You always take Devan's side. It is 'poor Devan this' and 'poor Devan that'! So she falls down a lot? So what? You all tip toe around her and put up with her moodiness and cater to her needs when she is incapable of taking care of herself!" I ranted.
I was surprised Dad was not carrying me away kicking and screaming by this point. And I wouldn't go down easy that was for sure! He sat still, calmly, listening to me, but not showing any sign of stopping me.
"I can take care of myself!" Devan shot back, but I carried on and she shut her mouth.
"At least I make the effort to embrace whatever challenges come at me with a positive attitude. All I get is ridicule from everyone around me!" I yelled, tears running down my cheek and dripping off my chin to the hardwood floor.
"I mean…COME ON! I deserve some credit. I have been attacked and nearly killed by vampires on TWO separate occasions. Did I freak out? No! Did I back down? No! I fought back even though it was hopeless to do so! You all laugh behind my back like I was being stupid to do that,"
"We don't-" Alice said, but I didn't let her cut in. I wanted to finish. My blood bumped loudly through my veins. I could hear it in my ears.
"You know you do. It is too easy to laugh at the weak human. Stupid is lying down and playing dead! I am not dead!" I said loudly, but losing my wind. I faced Devan.
"I get that you don't like going to school, Devan. Welcome to the club. Most students don't like it either. You don't hear me complaining. And what is so noble about your strive for excellence? You are only working that hard to graduate early so you can speed things along so you can sleep with Edward!" I said shrill, there were a few gasps, but no one jumped on me and so I carried on without taking a breath.
"Well, congrats for you! We are all so proud of you for having a death wish and are working towards it!" I yelled, my hands waving around erratically and sarcasm staining my voice at the last few sentences. Now, I was not just yelling. I was hysterical. The tears had long stopped falling and I was on a roll with this rant. Mom tried to touch my shoulder again, but I stepped away from her roughly.
"How stupid can I be? How stupid are you? You are going to kill yourself! And I don't try to stop you. I support you…even though it means that one day soon my sister is going to be dead and want to kill me in bloodlust! Gee…sounds fun! I can't wait!" I said sarcastically, "When do I ever complain about anything? I go with the flow! I don't try to stop you because I trust your judgment and because I love you and want you to be happy!"
"I…I.." Devan stuttered, not sure what to say. She looked angry, but also shocked and confused. It was a good thing the boys were all out hunting because Jasper would of have a conniption fit from the angst in the room. I decided to tone down my voice. I was wearing thin so it was more a necessity than a choice, really.
"Devan at least strives to reach her goals. It is admirable even though she is making a dumb decision!" Rosalie stated coldly. Devan was not sure to be grateful for her support or to be insulted be Rosalie's word choice.
"When I want something…I go out and get it too. I am not lazy like you claim, Rosalie. Just because academics come easily to me does not give you the right to assume I don't have work ethic," I said in a quieter, slower voice. My supermodel worthy sister was frozen now, her face was stuck up and her eyes didn't meet mine as I mentioned her name.
I was getting physically fatigued at this point in my blow out. I had years of pent up, subconscious loathing bottled up that I had not known was inside me. It was all coming out tonight. I thought I was maybe done, but one more round of hurt feelings poured out me. I panted as I spoke, not yelling anymore. This was for Mom and Dad.
"Being a hard worker is a title only reserved for those choosing to place their efforts solely on academics it seems,"
"Sweetheart, we are proud of you. We-" Mom began to cut in. I didn't give her the time to finish her thoughts.
"I am not fishing for praise here. I am just saying how it is! You praise Devan for her work ethic in school and for her musical abilities. I get that. She does work hard. But I work hard too. I was captain of my Rugby team, my Volleyball team, and my Soccer team! I am State Dance Champion in Latin Ballroom, Hip Hop, and Jazz! I broke all the swim records last year in my division at the meet finals and the only ones there in the bleachers cheering me on were Emmet and Seth. And you had forced Emmet to come most of the time as a bodyguard! None of you noticed how hard I was working at the things that mattered to me,"
"Why didn't you tell us you wanted us to be there?" Mom asked, sadly. She held her hand on her chest like she was feeling pain.
"I didn't think I needed to tell you," I said clearly, stopping to hear the blood pulsing through my veins in my temples. It was a whooshing sound and it was loud and fast paced. My vision blurred and I felt my heart pounding in my throat. I was trembling and my knees knocked together. I could see that this was over. I was mentally and physically exhausted. Someone took charge and ended the scene.
*
*
*
I was weak from this whole reveal. I had no idea I had so much resentment built up. I had closed my eyes, giving into my need to calm down and I had somehow ended up in Dad's study. I vaguely remember cool hands on my arms, above my elbows to hold me up as he ushered me away from the living room, but I was not really aware of what was happening until I felt a tight squeeze on my upper arm and looked up to find Dad taking my blood pressure.
"Dad…I'm so sorry," I muttered, exasperated. He finished at that moment and undid the cuff and with the other hand took his stethoscope from his ears and placed them on the end table. He didn't look upset with me, but it was always hard to see past his serene composure. "I'm sorry I yelled at you and Mom," I said again in a small, shaky voice.
"I know, Sweetheart. No one is upset with you. Why don't you lay down for a little while until you calm down?" he told me as he gave me no option and guided me from my seated position on his black, leather sofa to one where I was lying on my back with my feet up. I agreed and did as he suggested. He kissed my forehead, smiled kindly at me and then left the room.
'This is embarrassing,' I thought ruefully. I had just screamed out 4 years worth of pent up resentment that I had not known was inside me. And to make matters worse, I was so confused and emotional; I was not sure how I felt anymore. A lot of what I had just said was true, but I didn't really mean to accuse my parents of favoring Devan.
It would be ridiculous to think they loved her more. It was just that I took a lot of the flack because of my more adventurous, outgoing personality. I took chances and made risky decisions based on my curiosity. I could not see how these were bad qualities. Not after they had led me to Seth and now this precious baby we would have to share.
I suppose having a baby was what brought this whole revelation on. I was upset because I was feeling insecure. Having a baby was such a major, life-changing event and I was only 16. As many times as I told myself I would be a good mother, I would have no way of knowing until I actually had the baby and put my words into actions.
As I laid there, on the sofa in Dad's study, I came to the conclusion that I was acting out lately not just because of the change in my body, but in my mind. A baby was one thing that I could not learn about from the past. My baby, my child would be its own separate personality with a whole list of unknown qualities I would have to figure out on my own. That was daunting.
I had just found insight into my fears about this pregnancy. I was feeling a lot more at ease because I knew why I had freaked out back there. That helped a bit to admit to myself that I was scared. I took a big breath in and then sighed until it was released. Without all my thoughts interrupting me, I heard Dad's voice in the distance. I leaned up and strained to catch the conversation going on down the hall.
"What?! What did I do? She's the unstable one!" Rosalie said loudly I didn't have to try very hard to hear her words. I couldn't make out Dad's reserved voice. He was speaking too gently for me to understand. Then I heard Rosalie's beautifully shrill voice say, "It was the truth! She is not capable to raise a child! She lives in her own imaginary world where everything is sunshine and rainbows!"
'Bitch!' I thought as my mouth dropped open at Rosalie's side of the conversation. Then I could hear a few words here and there.
'"Sister!"
"Support,"
"Love,"
"Is she going to be alright?" I faintly heard someone ask. I was guessing it was Mom or Devan. I didn't feel ill. I stopped for a second and thought about how I was feeling. 'A little bit anxious. A bit clammy. My breathing is not so fast now. I don't feel like I am going to be sick,' I ran through some symptoms.
"Is that bad? She'll be okay, though, right?" Devan questioned. I hoped to hear the answer, but my stupid, human hearing was useless except for some soft mumblings of Dad's reserved tone.
'Darn it… Speak up, Man!' I struggled to hear him. 'It certainly wouldn't kill you to raise your voice on occasion! Show a little bit of heightened volume when a tense situation calls for it,'
I caught the words, "stress" and "blood" from his answer.
"Can I see her?" Mom asked.
More mumbling was all I could make out as I strained to make out what was being said. I leaned so far off the sofa I began to slide off the edge. I fell to the hardwood with two solid clunks. My hands and then my knees stopped me from smashing into the wood floor. I scrambled to get up and place myself back on the leather seat. There was silence.
'Oh, shit on a stick!' I cringed. 'They so heard that!'
"Silver?" Mom called as she and Dad came swiftly back into the study looking to find me on the floor. They looked up at me now perched on the sofa and I shrugged.
"I slipped," I offered an explanation. Mom seemed relieved with my alert answer to her inquiry. In truth, I was feeling a lot better now, only mildly put off that Rosalie was being such a downer. I knew better than to let her get to me. I could normally let her rude comments bounce off me.
"Silver, if you want us to leave you, we can. Give you some time by yourself," Mom said softly in loose inquiry. I shook my head. Being alone would not help me. That was Devan's style of stress coping. I was quite the opposite. I tended to lean towards problem solving as a coping mechanism before I let my stress levels get too high. I liked to fix my problems right out in the open and as soon as possible.
'I seemed to have missed some deep seeded issues apparently!' I decided, before I reached my arms out to Mom. She smiled and was beside my side in a half second, holding me. That is what I needed. A bit of support.
I suppose there really is something to be said about seeking emotional support as a form of coping technique. It was really helpful to have Mom hold me. I rarely needed comforting seeing as I so rarely got worked up over anything, but her cool arms around me made all the difference.
"I'm sorry, Mom," I told her. I kept my eyes closed and didn't let her go. Her hair smelled like cookies. I took a nice, deep breath in and then released it again. I hope she was not too uncomfortable with me being so close to her. She had not been hunting since last weekend. If she was feeling a burn, she never made it apparent to me.
"Shhh, Darling. You don't have to apologize. We understand. You know we love you so much, don't you?" she strung all her words together. I nodded. I was an idiot to have brought up my resentment over them missing my sporting events. It was not their fault they couldn't make all the games and meets and recitals. Dad worked a lot and Mom had to be home for Devan and to keep the others from destroying the house in her absence.
"Your mother and I are proud of your accomplishments, Silver. We regret not showing you how much so. You are much more independent than your age suggests. We have forgotten that you too need encouragement. Will you forgive us?" Dad spoke to me, making me open my eyes as I listened. I nodded, but felt like crap for all this attention I had brought myself.
"I am really not that bitter about it. It just sorta came out that way earlier. I couldn't stop my mouth from rolling," I admitted sheepishly, leaning away from Mom so I could see her face too. She began to stoke my hair like she so often liked to do as a term of endearment.
"You are under a lot of stress right now. It is understandable that you reacted the way you did. A lot of what you said tonight were valid complaints," Mom said.
"I understand you were hurt by some of the things your sister's said to you, but you have to remember that you are pregnant, my dear," Dad said gently, "And it is not healthy for you or the baby when you get yourself so worked up,"
"I know," I nodded apologetically. I felt so silly now that I was calm. I looked back at him and asked, "My blood pressure was pretty high then, huh?"
"It was quite high, yes, but I am sure it has come down considerably now that you have been resting. Would you mind me checking it again?" he asked my permission, motioning to my arm. I handed it to him and let him check my blood pressure. Mom rubbed my other arm lightly and played with my hair a bit as he listened.
"Normal?" I asked him curiously when he had finished. He smiled pleasantly as he put his tools back in his bag.
"It has lowered to a more manageable level, yes. You will need to work at controlling your temper, Silver. Which, I am sure you will have no trouble doing. You very rarely suffer from this type of emotional upset. If you are feeling overwhelmed again remove yourself from the situation and find a quiet place to reside. If you feel you are unable to calm yourself on your own, please…ask one of us for help. Or one of your siblings as they all love you and want the best for you as well,"
"Yes. We are here for you. You don't have to go through this alone, Darling," Mom cooed lovingly. I sniffled and nodded quickly. Dad took my hand into his and squeezed carefully to show support.
"I don't have a lot of practice in the Mental Health field, Silver. However, I do have feeling to believe there was more behind your outburst this evening than just sibling rivalry and anger towards your sisters for their comments towards you," Dad said professionally. His kind eyes were frowning with concern for me and I knew he was right in his observation. It was more than just what Rosalie and Devan had said tonight.
"I'm scared," I told them and before my tears had erupted, they both embraced me in a caring hold.
*
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*
What seemed like hours spent with my parents was really only about a half an hour. I told Mom and Dad about my concerns over the baby and they listened patiently and consoled me. I was so lucky to have found them 4 years ago. I'd hate to think of the mess my and Devan's life would be like if it weren't for the Cullen's taking us in.
When I was done spilling my mental guts to them and I convinced them I was okay, Mom and Dad let me venture out of the study to make amends.
I didn't want to be alone and I was a firm believer that if you fall off the hypothetical horse you'd better get back on it as soon as possible. So, declining Mom's wish that I go to bed early, I got up, brushed myself off, and went back to the living room to rejoin my sisters.
Alice and Devan were sitting on the large, squishy sofa that I had personally requested many years ago for the humans in the house. It, unlike other furniture in the house, was not rock hard. They looked up at me and waited awkwardly for me to say something. Rosalie was gone now, not that it mattered. I was sure she was around somewhere and could hear me.
"I'm sorry for screaming at you. I was…upset," I apologized. Alice bounced up and hugged me first.
"No no…I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings by laughing. I thought it was all in good fun and didn't notice how you were not enjoying yourself," she sang in my ear sincerely. Devan was standing beside us looking more upset than me. It was always like her to dwell on things.
"I'm sorry too, Silver. I thought we were just….you know…messing around…like we usually do. I didn't mean to take it so far," Devan apologized. Alice let me go and I hugged Devan.
"I am just too sensitive these days and…well, scared of all this," I admitted to my sisters why I was on the defensive lately and so much more quick to anger. I pulled back from Devan and put one hand on my protruding abdomen.
"We should have realized you were upset," Devan said cautiously. She looked at my round bump and furrowed her eyebrows.
"Oh, it's okay. Let's just put it behind us…never to be looked at again," I said with a wink. Alice giggled and Devan finally cracked a smile and we hugged again. Making up was a lot easier than I had thought it would be.
"Sounds like a good plan to me," Alice chirped.
"I am one for dishing out my opinions, but I guess I have trouble hearing ones about myself," I admitted.
"Oh, Silver. We think you will be a good mother," Alice told me. Devan nodded eagerly to agree with her.
"I have been in a foul mood all week and I was just being mean and I didn't realize you were feeling anxious about the baby. Of course you will be a good mother. You are good at everything you do! I was being a jerk to suggest otherwise!" Devan gave me a heartfelt admission. She was being genuine. I smiled at her.
"All that little stuff we complain about is just insignificant anyway," Alice twittered, "Who cares if you have the odd moment of forgetfulness, most times you can figure out what you have forgotten by searching the passed for answers. Those little things you miss don't matter. And…you're right, you can't really flush a baby down a drain!" Alice offered me some cheer, but it sounded so ridiculous, even in the context of the conversation, that I snorted a laugh.
Devan covered her mouth, but she snickered too.
"Thanks for the consoling speech, Alice," I teased her. The mood in the room was a lot lighter now. She curtsied playfully.
"Oh, and you will find your ring tonight!" Devan spoke up helpfully. She must have seen a vision of me finding it. That was nice of her to look for me. I had been having trouble seeing where I had last put it in the past.
"Oh good!" I cheered, not asking questions. I trusted her insight! I left the room to grab a notepad and a pen. I had a fun idea in mind and got organized to put turn it into a game.
*
*
*
"What are you doing?" Devan asked as I sat down in the center of the soft, cushy sofa with pen and paper in my hand. I patted both sides of the seats around me. Alice appeared like magic next to me, a slight wind from her movement hit my face like an icy breeze. Devan took a few more seconds to join us and sat on the other side of me.
I drew a line down the center of the paper vertically, then another line horizontally to make 4 squares. In the top left I wrote 'Maybe'. In the top right box I wrote 'Maybe…but probably not'. Alice clapped her hands together as she saw the fun we were going to have. Devan was slower to catch on, but by the time I finished writing 'Absolutely Not' and 'Love it!' in the last two squares she grinned widely and said, "Oooooh!!" as she realized the game.
"Ok…so Alice goes first and then you'll take turns," I announced. Alice bounced on the sofa a few times with excitement before she started.
"Alice!" she sang. I laughed.
"Um…okay. Maybe!" I told her, putting the name into the 'Maybe' column. She continued to smile, obviously okay with that response from me. I looked to Devan next for her to give me a name.
"Clark, for a boy," she said in a quiet voice. I smiled and thought. It was kind of handsome sounding. And you couldn't make any mean sounding nicknames from it. Plus, it was Superman's name. It was a strong, good name. I wrote it in the 'Love it!' square without speaking. I looked to her and she beamed.
"My turn! My turn!" Alice chanted loudly. It made me curious why she was so excited to play. 'Does she not know how the baby would turn out…and the name we would choose?' I wondered.
"Hey, Alice…?" I began to ask, but she saw me asking it first and just answered.
"I can't see it, Silver. The baby is part Seth," she informed me was a sad frown. I shrugged.
"Oh well…that is how it is supposed to be, Alice. You will probably enjoy being surprised for once!" I tried to make her feel better about losing her sight.
"Whatever," she said almost in a dull voice, not liking to be blind. She still resented Seth putting a shadow over my future. It worried her, I suppose. Alice perked up and said another name.
"Jasper Jr!"
As much I loved out brother, Jasper, is name reminded me of Casper the friendly ghost and I would never place a 'Jr' on any child's name. That would be too cruel. I was sure I was a better mother than that! I put the name in the 'Maybe…but probably not' square to be kind.
Mom and Dad came into the room from being outside for a little while. I did not want to think what they had been doing that had forced them to leave the house. The only time anyone left the house was for privacy.
"What are you girls up to?" Mom asked lovingly, smiling at the sight of all of us being friends again. Dad smiled too and pulled Mom into him and kissed the top of her head as Alice explained the game.
"Want a turn?" Devan offered. Mom wasn't sure if she was welcome so I nodded and gave her the floor. She was all too thrilled to take part in the naming of the baby. She came and knelt down in front of me.
"Amy," she said softly. Perhaps it was how fondly she spoke the name or how lovely the name sounded coming out of her musical voice, but I liked it.
"Amy," I repeated to hear myself say it. It was not nearly as beautiful sounding coming from my lips, but it was still a beautiful name. I put it in the 'Love it!' box. It was definitely worth more than a 'Maybe'. Mom glowed at my approval. I looked over to Devan for her turn.
"Mabel," Devan said with more confidence now. Alice and I made a face. "What? I like that name," Devan justified her choice. I put the name into the 'Absolutely Not' box.
"That was not a funny joke, Dev. I am having a baby, not a senior citizen," I told her with a straight face. Alice laughed and Mom and Dad found it amusing too.
"Fine," Devan pouted playfully. I had the feeling she was actually serious about that name.
We continued this game fore a while, having a lot of laughs as we debated names. Dad started to take part and soon Rosalie found her way back inside and without an apology she was allowed to participate. I took her participation in the 'Name Game' to be her best effort to say she was sorry for her nasty comments early that evening. I knew she was only acting so harsh towards this pregnancy because she longed to have a child and she could not. So I didn't mind when she gave names too. She surprised me by having very good taste.
Seth came home from work around 9pm and found us all still sitting around in the living room laughing and having a good time. I reached up to him, as he walked behind the sofa to kiss me as I craned my head back.
"What is going on?" he asked.
"We are coming up with names for the baby!" Alice cheered. Seth smiled at Alice like she was a crazy person. She was certainly having the most fun it seemed. I think she was getting used to having Seth around and not being able to see the future as clearly. It must have been relaxing for Alice to take a break from the near constant flashes into the future.
"What do you have so far?" he asked, amused, leaning his elbows on the back of the sofa and looking over my shoulder to the pad. I read it out.
"Well….so far we love the names Clark, Amy, Deva, Logan, Kristen, Alexander, Alexandra, Cadence…which Rosalie picked out and I think would sound beautiful with Clearwater…. Melody, and Lucas," I ran off the list to him. He nodded along, looking a bit overwhelmed. Rosalie seemed pleased with herself.
"And in the 'Maybe' we have Alice, Sophia, Reece, and Grayson. In the 'Maybe..but probably not' we have Jasper Jr…sorry Alice…Carlisle…sorry Dad…and Emily," I said, looking to Dad with a shrug as I had when I had turned down his name. He understood that his name fell under the category of being too old sounding.
"And the 'Absolutely Not's?" Seth asked, intrigued.
"No to Mabel, Jonas, Millicent, and Ashley…for a boy, which is just wrong. This is not 'Gone With The Wind', Mom!" I said, looking to Mom who had suggested that as a name. She had explained that it used to be a popular boys name before it was a name for girls. Seth agreed vibrantly at these names being rebuffed.
"So, what do you think, Seth?" Alice chirped, "Any names you want to add?"
"Nope. Silver is in charge of naming the baby," he said with ease. I smiled and he kissed my cheek. "However," he continued, "I do have Veto power. I am firm that 'Mabel' stays on the 'Absolutely Not' list!"
"Hey!" Devan piped up and swatted Seth teasingly on his arm. The room erupted in laughter. The boys returned from their hunting trip late that night and we were still playing the 'Name Game'. Jasper made a comment about the positive atmosphere.
He was right…things were looking up again.
*Note- I realize this chapter was long...but I wasn't sure what to cut out and I couldn't move any of it to next chapter because this was all better in Silver's POV, especially the 'Name Game' which I am not sure I made up, but I did for this...if it is a real game then I guess I didn't! Hahaa. I felt it was a better way to end this stressful chapter than just having the sister's apologize. I wanted to leave this on a good note, because the next update won't be for about a week or more probably. I have that project I am working on for my mom's birthday that is going to be taking up all my time this week. :) Thanks for understanding.
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