Andy zoned in on her, trying to catch up to what she'd said. Sharon just stood there, waiting for him to respond. He looked down at the pile of bags, noting he'd missed that there were additional suitcases by the couch that he must have scanned over when looking for her. Some detective he was; he'd glossed over evidence.
"Why are my suitcases back here?" he finally asked, forming a coherent sentence. "Did you get these from the house?" looking at the pile. He had navy blue bags, and Sharon had plum colored ones. Both sets were packed.
Sharon pursed her lips, and she looked guiltily at him, as she shrugged, "I needed more bags for my stuff. I got them today, before you found me in the bedroom."
Andy, with now a dazed look, looked to Sharon again, and he saw her messing with her hair again. It kept falling in her face, and she was moving it out of the way. Then, he zoned in on that, "Where did you get that?" he said almost harshly, looking sternly at her.
She met his gaze, "It's mine, isn't it?"
He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, "Let me get this straight. While I was hosting a party for the team, a team of the most elite detectives in Los Angeles-your team, you were breaking and entering. If that's not bad enough, we can now add burgulary to the list," he grumbled throwing his hands up.
Sharon pursed her lips and crossed her arms, looking up at him, "I can see this looks bad, but that wasn't the intent. Plus, I can argue it's not stealing if I'm returning the items to their rightful place," she said very deliberately.
"Oh, so," he waved at her, "you're returning that?" he asked.
"No, it's not stealing if it's mine," she said. "You really are the one who stole it when you took it when you moved out. I got back what's mine."
He sighed, looking up at the ceiling, "You are impossible!" he roared. "How did you even find that, and by the way, how long were you at the house?"
Sharon waited for his rant to stop, and she looked into his eyes, "Andy, I know you, don't forget that; I know your habits and thoughts. How did I find it? It was in the nightstand, my nightstand, there to be exact. It was the only thing in my nightstand. I knew you wouldn't put it in yours; that would be too painful a reminder since you are always in your nightstand getting sports magazines out. It was the first place I looked. It's mine, and it was where I thought-my nightstand, close, but far enough away it wasn't a daily reminder to you. My ring, my nighstand," she proclaimed.
"So, you just decided to put it on?" he said, exasperated.
"Yes, I did. You gave it to me. What, are you going to take it back now?" she challenged. "I'm not taking it off, and you wanted me to wear it!"
"Before you said no, never!" He closed his eyes, and he let out his breath. He could feel the anger building up inside. When he opened his eyes, she was still looking at him, waiting for him to answe-to continue, "You broke my heart."
Sharon's stance changed; those words caused her expression and stance to soften, and she said quietly as she nodded, "I know. I'm going to keep apologizing for that from now on, but I'm trying very hard to fix things."
He raised one eyebrow at her as he spoke, "So, this is you fixing things? This is the best Captain Raydor, one of the smartest people I know, this is the best you could do?"
She sighed, as she dropped her head, her hand again, the one with her ring on it, sweeping hair out of her face again, "You commented before that I torture myself. I realize that, and I'm trying not to do that anymore. I'm still adjusting to someone loving me. Well, I know you love me. I'm adjusting to just how much I love you," she raised her head, a sad look on her face. "I realize now that I wasn't having panic attacks about you being here. I was freaking out because I was starting to rely on you, need you here. I've never needed anything before; I've always done everything on my own. I need you now, that much I know."
"Saying no, not ever, isn't the way to go about that," he sighed. "Sharon, that night, that's what you said, and after you didn't want much discussion on the subject, other than to say we weren't happening, you suggested I go stay with Provenza or Nicole. You stopped any communication because then you took off!" he exclaimed.
"I thought some clarity would help," she admitted. "It did, actually, just not in the way I planned. The clarity I got only made me see that everything I had done that night was wrong. You just wanted to love me. I pushed you away, told you never, and I refused to talk to you, to try and explain what I was feeling. Looking back, I was feeling, I am feeling totally in love with you," she whispered as she fought back tears.
He sighed and said, "Sharon, I thought you already knew that."
She looked away, "I did, well, I thought I did. I just didn't know how much. I thought I knew, but all the mixed feelings I thought I was having was honestly me not wanting to ever let you go. I realize that now. I'm not staying here another day without you. When I got back and found out you retired," she shook her head, "I know we talked about you doing that, not wanting to be a glorified desk monkey, to spend more time with Nicole's boys, I know we discussed it. I wasn't surprised in a way, but it was just another kick in the gut that I wouldn't see you each day. I was sick that day, in and out of the bathroom, because it further solidified how I couldn't let you go."
"Then, why in the world did you wait so long, Sharon? It's been two months! Don't you know how this has torn me up? It's torn up our kids too. This wasn't just some decision that affected you alone; it affected our whole family, our friends, our work! Even the boys have been going nuts asking where you have been, and trying to explain it to little boys, where Grandma is, it's been torture! Why?"
She shook her head, "I don't have an answer," she shrugged. "I guess I tried to convince myself that I'd hurt you too much for you to want me back. I even told myself that the other day when I stopped by the house. I told myself that I just needed to make sure you were okay. If you were, I was going to try and let you go. Then, I saw our house," she wiped the tears away. "I saw all the love, the hopes, the dreams, the future we wanted. I saw the boys running through the place just like we'd talked. I had seen Rusty stop by, just like we wanted. I saw all the furniture we picked out, everything we wanted for our lives. You were living it without me, and I knew then I was so off base. I had figured I was doing you a favor, not causing you any additional heartache by trying to let you go, but I realized recently that was stupid. I know what I want, and I'm going to go after it, if it's the last thing I do," she stated.
Andy sighed as he rubbed the back of his head. He hated seeing her cry, seeing her upset, but she'd brought on a lot of this. He was hurting too, so much, but he also knew both could end their misery.
"Sharon, I can't do this again," he sighed, and as she looked at him horrified, he clarified himself. "I mean, I can't lose you again. I can't have you flip out on me. You put that ring on; do you understand what that truly means?"
Her eyes met his, and she spoke, "Look at this," she motioned him toward the kitchen area. "You need to see this, to see that I know exactly what I am doing and want now."