I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry about not updating. I'm probably the worst updater in the Fanfiction world. I can't say the world, because Christopher Paolini is worse, but he writes real stories, not fanfiction, so he doesn't count… by the way, has anyone read Inheritance yet? I just got done with it, IT'S AMAZING!

Anyways, I would still like to thank those of you who reviewed last chapter, all those months ago: Isabella XP, Kujo, Loslote, Book-Mania-Girl520, SiriusBlackisSeriuslyfunny333, AliLuvsAlli-Sirius, and plaincrazysuckup. You guys are all amazing!

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think I'm JK Rowling, cause if you do, we need to have a little chit chat…

Sorry, on with the story. I wrote this while I was supposed to be doing all sorts of homework, who would've thunk it? Math giving me a stroke of genius?

Chapter 13: Jesus Take the Wheel

I've always laughed at the girls in books who let the love of a man blind them from seeing the truth about who that man truly is. That also goes the other way; the hate of a man blinds the girl from seeing that he is really not so bad. In the past month, I've learned that both situations apply to me. I had such a huge crush on Andy that I looked past all the things that made him a horrible human being. He's a bully and he loves to put himself above others.

And James. Oh, dear James. The man that I've hated with a passion for over 6 years has become someone who, quite frankly, I feel like I'm falling in love with. He's no long a bullying toerag like he used to be. Like Andy for that matter. He's become a man who is kind to others, listens to what they have to say and actually gives his honest opinion. Which is a good skill when you're Head Boy. It also helps that he's gotten, if possible, even hotter over the summer. God, I love Quidd—

"Oh my god! KALI!" Sara screamed right behind me. I jumped and gingerly held my hands over my dying ears.

"What?" Kali glared at Sara. It was close to 10 and the only reason she's still awake is because Sara keeps yelling at her. The only reason I'm still here, is because Sara keeps complaining that I never spend any time with them anymore.

Sara grabbed my diary and started reading in a seductive voice; "The way his luscious, black hair falls in his deep, hazel eyes when he concentrates on his work is so sexy." She looked at Kali, deadpan. "She's started writing a diary."

"Ah, HELL NO!" She glared at me, "Do you not remember what happened with Jonny?"

Of course I remember what happened with Jonny. In Fifth Year, she started writing in a diary. She wrote everything in that diary. Mostly, though, it was full of her ranting about her current crush; Jonathan Farley. Sara had done something to piss off one of the Seventh Years, and she snuck down into our room while none of us where there, and started rifling through what she thought was Sara's stuff. But no, it was Alice's.

The next day it was all over the school that Sara King was in love with Jonathan Farley, a Sixth Year Hufflepuff with absolutely no backbone, no reason to stand out, and absolutely no chance of catching the attention of Sara King. Jonny wasn't used to the sudden attention. Everyone taunted him, saying that he was paying Sara, that he was using her as nothing more than a slut. Only we knew the truth, but we stayed silent. Watching as he slowly withered under the attention. His parents had to take him out of school, he hasn't been heard from since.

That time wasn't our best, and whenever it comes up, we're all so ashamed. But comparing this situation to that one is not cool. Anyone who reads my diary would realize that It's mine. Not Sara's, not Alice's, not Kali's. MINE! Because I keep it in MY dorm. Under a loose board in the floor, covered by a protection spell.

"I would prefer if you didn't bring that up." A muffled voice came from Alice's bed. She had her curtains closed and we had all assumed she was asleep.

"Sorry Al, did Sara wake you up?" Kali called across the room. Sara glared at Kali, who in return stuck her tongue out at Sara. Alice's face came out from the curtains a moment later.

"No, I never fell asleep, I was just thinking," She said as she jumped off her bed and padded over to Sara's where the three of us were seated. "About life, and how much I'm going to miss Hogwarts when this year is over."

We all sat quietly (for the first time in hours, thanks to Sara) and thought about what Alice said. It's true, I thought. Hogwarts has been my life for the past 7 years. I can't believe that its 7th year already. These past few years have gone by so fast. I grabbed Sara and Alice's hands.

"You know what? You're right Al; Hogwarts is more than just a school. Hogwarts is my home," I looked at my friends, my sisters, and rephrased. "Our home." I smiled at them. "But! It's only October! We have 9 months left until we have to worry about this crap. I'm going to bed."

"For 9 months?" Sara asked confused. The rest of us glanced at each other and laughed. "You know Lily; you're getting really good at changing the subject." She punched me lightly, "I completely forgot all about your diary."

"Good." I ducked as she swung a pillow at me. I grabbed it from her and swung it back at her.

"I'm getting out of this while I still have my dignity." But Sara grabbed the back of her shirt and swung her around for a better shot. Kali stood there for a second, shocked, before turning and glaring at Sara. "It's on, sweetheart!"

All four of us were in the thick of it, fighting it out with pillows. Thinking back on our previous conversation, I thought that this might be one of those perfect memories that I want to hold on to for the rest of my life. Grabbing my camera out of my trunk, I set it on a timer, and made sure the four of us were in its line of sight.

Looking at the polaroid later that night, I knew that this is a night to remember. I stuck it in the page of my diary Sara had been looking at earlier.

At about midnight, I went back to my dorm for bed. Yawning, I silently thanked Dumbledore for making me Head Girl so that I had extended curfew hours. I really should start getting more sleep. All this stuff with James on top of schoolwork and Head Girl business, I've been living on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. Not good on your body, let me tell you.

I yawned again, not noticing that there was someone right in front of me until I ran into them.

"Oh, I'm so sorr—" I started, but saw who it was, I stomped off in the direction of my common room.

"Lily, wait!" Andy grabbed my arm and swung me around so that I was facing him.

"What?" I snarled, my blood was boiling. "What the hell do you want?"

"I-I just wanted apologize." What? "I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did to you, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. For thinking that there was something between you and Potter, watching you over the past few months has proved that there clearly isn't. For comparing you to Potter. And finally, for everything that happened in Hogsmeade. You didn't deserve that. And I'm sorry."

"You're right. I'm not going to forgive you." I glared at him. "And you have the customary 2 hour detention with McGonagall for being up after curfew." I pursed my lips hoping that he would get the message and walk away. He didn't. "What the hell do you want now?" I asked irritably.

"Well," he hesitated. "I want you." And then he kissed me.

Suddenly I felt my insides dissolve. My whole body was melting into his. I put my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I played with his hair, lacing my fingers through it. I felt his hands go to my back pulling me towards him. His hands go up my shirt and onto my bare back.

Suddenly, someone coughed somewhere down the hall. We jumped apart. I looked down the hall to see James standing there, a parchment in his hands.

"West," he stated coldly, "Detention. Tomorrow. McGonagall. 2 hours." And he walked away without another word.

"I should go." I muttered, not really wanting to. "I need sleep. I-"

"I know, I should go too. Don't want Potter coming back and giving me another detention." He half –heartedly laughed. We both knew James would give him another detention.

I stood up on the tips of my toes and pecked his lips. "Talk to you tomorrow then? At breakfast?" I asked, walked backwards down the hall, not wanting to let him out of my sight.

"Tomorrow it is." He smiled at me, turned, and soon he too was gone.

I sighed. What did I just do?

"What the hell was that?" I jumped. James was standing on the platform outside our rooms.

"Don't do that to a girl, James! You scared the living crap out of me!" I tried in vain to control my heartbeat. I don't know if it was racing because James scared me, or because of that whole thing with Andy, or because of the fact that James and I are actually have a conversation in which I don't feel the urge to run away.

"I reiterate. What the hell was that?" Now I could see the hurt look on his face. The pain so clearly etched in his features.

"What was what?" I asked, getting angry for reasons that honestly, I had no idea what they were.

"What was that thing with Andy. I thought you two were over, done, encima."

"Okay, 1, what does encima mean, and 2, why the hell are you so angry? You're acting as if I did something wrong. It's not like there's something going on between you and me, so you have absolutely no right to criticize me!"

"It means over, and I'm angry because the Head Girl was caught after hours making out in the middle of a hallway!" He snarled. "If that's not inappropriate, I don't know what is."

"You asshole." I spat out. "You criticize me for making out in the middle of a hallway, what about yesterday, you and Rose, huh?" A look of shock flew across his face. "Oh yeah, I know all about that. And the fact that you're afraid that you're going to be just like your father. Guess what Potter, you're just like him, did you know that? You're just a younger version of him." He gave me a hurt look, turned around, went into his room and slammed his door closed.

He looked so hurt that I almost went up and apologized. I almost did, but I didn't. I know that comment about his father was low. But I didn't care. He hurt me, so I hurt him in return.

I sat down at the couch directly in front of the fire. "An eye for an eye," I muttered to the flames, trying to convince myself that what I did was okay. But nothing I could think of condoned what I had just done. But for some reason, I refused to accept that as a bad thing.

I should be thinking about Andy, not James. I don't know what whatever we did makes us, but whatever we are, I like it. Nothing serious, only fun. No commitments. No rules. Just, fun. I smiled, thinking how Un-Lily-Evans that would be. Because Lily Evans is not fun. Not in the least.

I thought about the time when someone first said I wasn't fun. I was 7 and it was raining. I hate being in the rain, so I was sitting by my window and watching all the other kids play in the playground right behind my house. One of my friends waved at me. I waved back, through the window. She had run up to my front door. And I had run down to meet her. She had asked why I wasn't out playing. And I had told her the truth, I didn't like the rain. She said I wasn't any fun at all, and she wasn't my friend anymore. And then she ran back outside. When I went crying to my mother, she had said this:

"Lily-bean, people always think that those who aren't like them aren't fun, and aren't cool. They think that just because you look different, act different, or even talk different, you aren't as good as them. You just have to be strong and be a better person. Do you understand me, sweetheart?"

A single tear fell down my cheek when I thought of my mother. She was so much stronger than I am. She always knew what to say to make everything okay. No matter what the situation. She was the best mother a girl could ask for. I wiped my eyes and for the first time in a long time, I bowed my head to pray "I'm sorry for the way I've been living my life, I know I've got to change, so from now on tonight, Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands cause I can't do this on my own. I'm letting go, so give me one more chance, save me from this road I'm on." I sang the lyrics to the song, thinking of how much my mother loved to sing.

I laid my head down on the armrest, crying again, and fell asleep thinking about my mother.

I know I already apologized, but it's been 4 months, I think I need to reiterate: I am honestly really sorry. My computer crashed and it hated me; but it's better now.

Happy belated Thanksgiving, and if I don't update before then, Merry Christmas!