Chapter 13: Overwhelmed

When we arrive back at the house, Elias opens the front door. The sound of Marda's shrill shouting comes from the second floor.

"AGAIN!" she yells. "TRY HARDER!"

I hear the sounds of movement and then a thud.

"AGAIN!" she screams.

I look at Elias with wide eyes. He breathes a heavy sigh.

"There's nothin I can do," he says. "Marda's a coach, just like me. She's allowed to train Charles however she likes."

Elias and I sit down at the big dining table. The leftovers from lunch are still there. It is a selection of breads, meats, cheeses, and condiments for sandwiches. I quickly throw something together, not even noticing which items I pick up. Elias pours way too many chips on my plate, and makes himself two ham sandwiches. I nibble at my bread while I listen to the commotion upstairs. Between Marda's yelling and the pain in my sides, I find that my appetite is pretty much nonexistent. I make myself eat half a sandwich and five chips before I tell Elias I'm finished. He gives me a concerned look.

"You've gotta eat more, Renn," he says. "Ya need to put on as much weight as ya can before the Games."

"I know, I know," I say with frustration. "Maybe I'll feel better by supper time."

"Alright," Elias agrees. "Now let's get some of this medicine in ya, and you can go on and get in bed for a nap."

"A nap?" I say with surprise. "Charles has to deal with that," I point upstairs, "And I get to take a nap? I'm not sure you understand this coaching thing Elias."

He laughs. "Maybe I'll go ask Marda how I'm supposed to do it," he teases.

I take two little pills, and Elias helps me up the stairs. I want to go check on Charles, but Elias thinks it would only make Marda angry. I don't want to make things worse, so I continue on to the third floor. Elias tells me to take a shower while he gets some ice packs ready for me to lay on.

In the bathroom, I strip off my clothes and examine my injuries for the first time. My left side looks awful. It is covered with dark purple splotches. I think I can make out the imprint of Miller's shoe in one of the bruises. My right side has one big purple mark, but otherwise seems fine. My left eye is dark and swollen. The left side of my jaw is a bit swollen and a little purple, but it's not as bruised as I thought it would be. I check my back, which is sore from the impact of Miller throwing me to the ground. It is completely unscathed. I find the bruise on my leg that Dr. Dawson commented on. It doesn't look serious at all. I shower and dress in some loose green pajamas. I see that Elias has turned down my bed and laid an ice pack wrapped in a towel on my nightstand. His kindness nearly brings me to tears. I don't deserve a coach like him, I think. Charles should've gotten Elias, and I should have gotten stuck with Marda. I feel nauseous at the thought. I still hear Marda yelling at Charles downstairs. No matter what misfortunes Verilius Alanton has forced on me, I must admit that I am very lucky to have Elias.

I lie down and try to get comfortable. It takes about thirty seconds before I realize it's impossible. The ice pack helps my side a little, but not enough that I can fall asleep. I try every position I can think of, but soon I get out of bed. I walk down the hall of the autumn-themed floor, and I find Elias in the private training room. He has set up two human-sized dummies, and a large dry erase board. Elias sits in a chair in the center of the room, writing in a large notebook. He looks up when he sees me.

"Now, what are you doin out of bed?" he scolds. "I told you to get ya some rest. We'll talk about all of this later on." He gestures to the dummies and the marker board.

I shrug. "I can't get comfortable. Maybe once the pain medicine kicks in, I'll be able to sleep."

Elias thinks for a moment. "Alright, then," he says. "How 'bout we get ya back into bed, and I'll sit in there and talk about your training? That's sure to be boring enough to lull ya to sleep."

I agree with a laugh.

After Elias has fluffed my pillows and arranged my blankets several times, he declares me sufficiently tucked in. He hands me the large notebook that he was using in the training room, and pulls an armchair to the side of the bed.

"I'm writin all the things you need to know about the arena in this book," he says. "So you just read over it and start askin questions." He gets comfortable in his chair. "I know how you like to ask questions."

I stick my tongue out at him. I pick up the notebook and look at what Elias has written. It looks like chicken scratch. I can't read one word.

"Elias, my two-year-old son could have written this better," I say.

Elias takes the notebook and glances at it.

"There ain't a thing wrong with my writing," he declares. "I know exactly what it says." He grins and sets the notebook aside. "Why don't I just tell ya about it?"

I nod and settle back in my fluffy pillows.

"Okay," he begins, "All of them gamemakers have been real cryptic about where the arena is going to be, but I've got a hunch. I think it's real close to where we are right now. I've gotten your schedule for the week, and it says that you go in the arena at 9:00 next Monday mornin. The funny thing is, they don't ask you to meet up with your stylist till 7:00. So within two hours, they expect you to get made up, get to the arena, and be ready to start. I'm thinkin that the arena can't be more than a thirty minute drive from here. The doctor's office today proved it to me. If they have the victor's hospital set up in this compound, then it's definitely not far from the arena." Elias smiles at me as if he has deduced something which will give me a great advantage.

"Well, that might be helpful," I say, "But I don't even know where we are now."

"Yeah, and I'm not allowed to tell ya," Elias says with frustration. "I can tell ya what the terrain is like, though. It's mostly flat lands around here, so don't expect any hills to hide behind. There's not a lot of trees in this area either, but I'd bet my oldest pocket watch that there'll be plenty of trees in the arena. They've gotta give you someplace to hide. Now, we also know what the temperature will be like if the arena is near here. I've looked at the weather forecast, and it seems like things are gonna stay about the same as they are now. So it'll probably be cool at night. If the Games go on for a while, the weather may get colder. I'd bet there'll be a blanket in the supplies at the cornucopia."

"Wait, wait, wait," I say, holding my hands up. "What's a cornucopia? And what does it have to do with me getting a blanket?"

Elias smiles. "See, I knew you'd think of some questions."

Elias goes on to tell me that all of the representatives will be raised into the arena from an underground chamber. We will be arranged in a circle around a cornucopia, a large structure that houses our supplies and weapons. There will be a countdown, giving us one minute to decide what our first move will be.

"My first move will be to get Charles and run away," I say.

Elias grimaces. "I don't think that's gonna be possible," he says. "There are gonna be five different cornucopias, with twenty representatives startin at each one. I highly doubt that any representative will be startin at the same place as their state partner."

I feel dread settle on me again. The drama of the past day has kept my worry mostly at bay, but the realization that I will be alone in the arena brings the terror flooding back. Elias must see my emotions on my face.

"Now, now," he chides, "You'll still be able to find Charles. Maybe the two of ya can even form an alliance with some other folks."

"An alliance?" I ask. "How can we do that if we can't talk to anyone?"

"Them mufflers won't be on in the arena," Elias tells me. "But don't go teamin up with just anybody. You'll have to figure out who to trust."

I burrow around in my pillows, trying to find a position that doesn't hurt.

"Okay, so how do I get this blanket that you say will be at the cornucopia?" I ask.

"Well," Elias says, "You're gonna have to fight for it."

I sigh and roll my eyes. We spend the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out my strengths and weaknesses. Although I insist that I am not really good at anything, Elias seems to think I know a lot about plants.

"I only worked part time in a Botany lab," I say. "I got my degree in Wildlife Biology, not Botany."

"I bet you know more than you think," Elias says.

After much prying on Elias's part, he decides that I will probably be quite good at using stealth tactics. He thinks I will be able to run away from dire situations, and climb trees to avoid confrontations. He asks if I will be up to the challenge of fighting for supplies at the cornucopia. I tell him I am decidedly not up to it. He tells me that my first move should be to run as fast as I can and climb a tall tree. He says I should watch for everyone to disperse from the cornucopia, and then I should go back and scavenge for any leftover supplies.

"Remember," Elias tells me, "You want to make sure you have water, warmth, and weapons. The food will come. You'll find some plants to eat, and I'll teach ya how to catch your meat."

I try to remember everything Elias says, but the pounding in my sides combined with Marda's constant shouting keeps me very distracted. Eventually, I tell Elias that I've changed my mind, and I think I will have a nap. While Elias is fussing over my comfort and insisting that I have a drink of water, a door bangs open downstairs. I hear someone stomping, and James bursts angrily into the room.

"WHY didn't anyone call me?" He shouts, and then he sees me in the bed. "Oh, my darling, just look what he did to you!"

He rushes to my side and starts examining my face. "Don't worry about this," he says, "I can cover it all up with makeup."

I smile at him, trying not to let him see how little I've thought about my appearance. Elias explains the entire story to James, and I lay in bed with my eyes closed. James gets mad and sympathetic at all the right moments, and I try not to replay any of it. When I think of Miller's rage, it occurs to me that I have made a very powerful enemy. I'm not sure my stealth tactics are going to help me in a fight with him. Miller will kill me easily. I feel my eyes tearing up, but I still try to feign sleep.

I don't want to be murdered by Miller Hughes. I don't want to be murdered at all. But if it has to happen, then I want it to be someone else. Anyone else. He won't be killing to protect his family. He will do it for fun.

The horror and hopelessness of the situation overwhelms me, and I start to cry. I roll over and try to hide it, but soon I am sobbing loudly enough for Elias and James to hear. They immediately kneel beside me, both muttering soothing words. James strokes my hair and cries along with me. Elias holds my hand and pats it. Neither of them ask me what's wrong because they already know. I am mourning for the life I have lost. This is why people aren't supposed to know when they're going to die, I think. I have time to feel the loss of the years that might have been. I won't be there to watch Kade grow up. Thomas and I won't grow old together. I won't ever go to Hawaii or read War and Peace or any of the other little things that I had planned. My life is over, but I am forced to stay in this aching body. I can't understand why this has happened to me, and I say so.

"Oh, honey, I don't know either!" James sobs. "It's so unfair!"

Elias says nothing, but I see his bottom lip tremble as he looks away. I try to compose myself, but I fail. I cry and cry until it starts making my sides hurt worse. Then I cry some more. Elias and James keep a silent vigil at my bedside, neither of them willing to leave me in this state. I don't know how long I cry, but eventually Charles comes in to tell us it's almost time for supper and the daily security check. He looks so tired that I can't believe he managed to drag himself up the stairs.

I try to sit up, but Elias puts a hand on my shoulder.

"You just lie here and rest," he says softly. "I'll get that security man to come up here, and I'll bring your supper."

I lay back down. James gives me a tissue and I wipe my nose. He stays with me until Elias comes back with the very unhappy security man.

"I expect you to meet me at the door tomorrow," the man says as he scans my badge. "I won't come up here again."

I quickly nod. When the security man is gone, James excuses himself and Elias heads downstairs to get some food. I pull myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I wash my face and blow my nose, refusing to look in any of the mirrors. Elias returns with way too much food, and I muster up a smile. He seems relieved that my emotional roller-coaster has ended. He hands me a big bowl of soup and a hunk of bread.

"There's more where that came from," he says. "Eat as much as ya want."

Elias leaves, but returns shortly with his own soup bowl. He sits in the chair beside my bed and eats in silence. I manage to eat all of the soup and most of the bread. I'm so full that my sides feel worse, but I'm in a much better mood. Elias finishes my bread, and nods approvingly at my empty bowl.

Charles comes in carrying three small plates of chocolate cake. He hands one to each of us, and sits down beside me on the bed.

"Tough day?" he asks with a teasing smile.

"It sounded like yours was just as bad," I say.

"Maybe," he replies. "It wouldn't be very manly to complain about it, though, since I spent most of the afternoon getting beat up by a girl."

I giggle. "Did Marda use her shoes as a weapon?"

Charles takes a bite of cake. "No, but her hair nearly suffocated me a couple of times."

Elias nearly chokes on his cake while he attempts to keep from laughing. I smile in silence as Charles continues to crack jokes. He doesn't ask how bad my injuries are, and I doubt he ever will. It doesn't matter how damaged I am, Charles is on my side. I promise myself that I will find him in the arena. I don't know about forming alliances with any of the others, but I can trust Charles. We will be stronger together.

And neither of us will have to die alone.