Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. (Ed: 'Cause if she did, I would quit.) How can you quit? You're stuck on a freakin' piece of paper! Or computer… or whatever…
Ok, I'm answering ch12 reviewers.
Zaymee: You like to say a lot don't you?
kristanite: I don't think Jamie would like you changing her name. Yeah…
AnimeDutchess: Thanks for being my 2nd top reviewer. Jamie claims top right now.
The Dark Empress of Eternity: I was thinking of making Envy crash the party at some point, but never found a good spot for that. I'll think of something.
E.E.lover: Umm, thanks I guess. And Ed will have a hard time… hehehe… (Ed: this is not good)
And thanks to all you readers also, because you read it right? I mean authors have readers but not all of them write about it.
Previously: The fma crew listened to pointless songs and ate ramen. Time for the pool!
Pool Madness
So everyone was standing a few feet away from the pool in their swimming suits (JAM: covers ears Fan girls: SQUEAL! JAM: uncovers ears Is it over? Fan girls: MEGA SQUEAL JAM: AHHHH! OUR EARS!). Jamie was in a two-piece, Lali was in a one-piece, Michi was in a wet suit, and the fma characters were in appropriate swimming wear.
"Aren't we supposed to wait an hour after eating before swimming?" Al asked.
"What's your point?" Jamie asked. Al decided to shut up.
"So… what's with the wet suit?" Ed asked Michi.
"Is there a problem with being original?" Michi asked.
"More like weird," Ed said. Michi glared at him, put Roy's gloves on, Lali pressed the alchemy button, Michi snapped, Ed got flamed, and Lali turned off the alchemy button.
"AHHHH! MY HEAD!" Ed jumped into the pool (the shallow end). Ed's head cooled down and his hair magically grew back.
"That reminds me, we need a life guard," Jamie said thoughtfully.
"SO NOW YOU REMEMBER? WHAT IF I DROWNED OR SOMETHING?" Ed yelled.
"It's kinda hard to drown in the shallow end, isn't it?" Jamie asked.
"But… bt… What… shp…If… Ugh…" Ed stuttered. Jamie smirked.
"Anyways, who to choose?" Michi asked.
"Ed: too short," Lali said.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN HIDE IN AN ANT FARM?" Ed yelled.
"I didn't say that, but ok," Lali said. Ed let out an exasperated sigh.
"Well anyways. Roy: too perverted," Jamie said.
"Winry: her obsession with mechanics will drown her; Riza: too gun-crazy," Michi said.
"Breda: a bit fat; Falman: too boring," Lali said.
"Feury: not the type; Havoc: on drugs; Armstrong: will just think about his 'awesome' family traditions," Jamie said.
"And Hughes: too obsessed with his daughter," Michi said.
"That leaves Al!" Lali said.
"But… but… I can't swim!" Al exclaimed.
"Well, that's no good," Jamie said.
"LALI!" Michi exclaimed.
"Me?" Lali asked.
"Yes, you, do you not agree, Jamie?" Michi asked.
"I think she's good, here put on this red jacket," Jamie said and gave Lali a red life guard jacket. Lali also put on some sunglasses.
"Uhh… Leave the glasses out," Michi said.
"I was just joking," Lali said and took the glasses off.
"Now you have to sit on that," Jamie said pointing to the life guard seat.
"OOOOOHHH! THE AWESOME SEAT! IT'S SO TALL UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE! I CAN SEE OVER YOUR HEADS!" Lali exclaimed as she got on the seat.
"You sure she was the best pick?" Hughes asked Jamie. Lali blew a whistle.
"HEY! HEY! HEY! WAS THAT AN INSULT TO MY BEHALF?" Lali shouted.
"Since when does she use 'behalf'?" Michi asked Jamie. Jamie shrugged.
"Whatever… Carry on…" Lali said.
"And since when does she use, 'carry on'?" Michi asked Jamie again.
"HOW SHOULD I KNOW THESE THINGS?" Jamie exclaimed.
"I was just asking," Michi said.
"Hmmm… is the system of these girls falling apart?" Havoc questioned.
"Then maybe they will try to overpower one another and then we, the rebellion, can use this weakness to our advantage, THEN WE CAN RULE THIS PLACE OUR WAY!" Mustang yelled.
"Was that next to your 'female officers shall be required to where mini skirts' speech?" Breda asked.
"Uhh…" Mustang said.
"And since when were we a rebellion?" Winry asked.
"It doesn't matter anymore. The girls are laughing together again," Hughes pointed out. The fma crew turned to look at JAM, and they, indeed, were laughing. JAM suddenly turned around and looked at the fma crew.
"So what were you talking about?" Jamie asked.
"And why aren't you in the pool yet?" Michi asked.
"Because if you're not in the pool, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A LIFE GUARD!" Lali yelled and the fma crew scrambled into the pool. Jamie and Michi walked to the diving board. Jamie went up first.
"CANNONBALL!" Jamie yelled and did a cannon ball into the pool.
"UHHHH! HI!" Michi yelled while she jumped off next.
"That looks like fun! I will use the famous Armstrong tradition of cannon balling that has been passed down for generations and more to come!" Armstrong exclaimed and he started climbing the ladder for the tallest board, which was about 50 tall.
"More to come?" Jamie said sarcastically. Armstrong finally made it to the top, and he jumped and curled into a ball. He landed in the pool creating tidal waves. Lali held up a sign that said '5' on it in black. The fma crew was trying to conquer the massive waves and Jamie and Michi were hanging onto the sides for dear life. Armstrong came up and everything started to calm down. Then Armstrong read the '5' that Lali had held up.
"A FIVE? YOU INSULT MY FAMILY TRADITION!" Armstrong yelled.
"Well, your family tradition is out of date. I did not hear you yell 'CANNONBALL!' when you jumped," Lali said. Armstrong's little pink sparkles started drowning.
A few minutes later, Jamie and Michi were pulling down random members of the fma crew underwater. Lali observed this.
"HEY! YOU IN THE WET SUIT!" she yelled and blew her whistle. Michi had just come up from the water after pulling Havoc down and now Havoc was spluttering for air.
"Yeah?" Michi asked.
"Go for Ed next, but be careful not to get kicked by his left leg, that would hurt," Lali said.
"Ok," Michi said.
"HEY!" Ed yelled.
"What?" Lali asked playing dumb.
"DON'T PLAY DUMB! YOU JUST TOLD HER TO DROWN ME!" Ed yelled.
"No I didn't. I told her to pull you down underwater next," Lali retorted.
"Well, she's not going to catch me," Ed said as he avoided Michi's first attack. Michi glared underwater, but she tried again, and Ed dodged again. Michi finally went up for air.
"Damn it," she muttered. Lali observed this and got a small black ball and threw it into the pool. Suddenly, the pool went really dark and it was extremely hard to see underwater.
"AHH!" Ed managed to yelp before he was dragged underwater. Michi came out of the water with night vision goggles.
"Never really thought I would need these goggle," Michi said as she threw them onto the side. Ed finally came out from underwater.
"HEY! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" Ed yelled.
"What? It's not like you drowned, and you can hold your breath," Jamie said.
"But what if I did drown?" Ed asked. Everyone looked at the life guard.
"Don't look at me, I'm not doing CPR on anyone!" Lali said.
"But you're the life guard! Aren't you supposed to do that if someone drowns?" Ed asked.
"I'll use an air pump," Lali said. The fma crew did an anime fall.
"But…" Ed started.
"Just drop it Ed," Hughes said. Ed sighed. Lali narrowed her eyes at the pool.
"EVERYONE OUT OF THE POOL! THERE'S SOMETHING IN THERE!" Lali shouted. Jamie and Michi got out on the opposite side as Lali, but the fma crew stayed.
"We're not falling for your tricks again," Mustang said.
"Then what's that in the middle of the pool?" Jamie asked pointing to a spot in the pool where it was bubbling.
"It's probably one of your tricks," Riza said.
"Fine, but don't say we didn't warn you," Michi said. The bubbling moved around and got closer to Breda. Breda looked nervous.
"AHHHH!" Breda screamed as he jumped out of the pool.
"What happened, Breda?" Havoc asked.
"A cold hand or something touched me," Breda said shaking with fear.
"Ok, girls this is uncool," Hughes said.
"But we already told you that we aren't doing anything. Lali isn't even touching the remote," Michi said. Lali was indeed not touching the remote. She was leaning one arm on the arm handle and leaning her head on that while the remote lay on the other arm handle. The fma crew started to get nervous. Suddenly the bubbling stopped. Then…
"HAHAHAHA!" yelled a voice. The fma crew screamed and dashed out of the pool. Everyone looked to the middle of the pool and saw…
"ENVY?" the fma crew exclaimed.
"SO YOU ARE WORKING FOR ENVY!" Ed accused Jamie.
"Who's working for me?" Envy asked.
"HER!" Ed yelled as he pointed at Jamie.
"It's not nice to point, Ed," Michi said.
"Never seen her in my life," Envy replied.
"What life?" Lali asked. Envy glared at her.
"How do you know I'm a homunculus?" Envy asked.
"I never said that but I do know you're a homunculus," Lali said.
"But how?" Envy asked getting irritated.
"I wouldn't question them, Envy, they have evil minds," Al told him.
"Why should I take advice from a used-to-be tin can? Besides, I'm not afraid of three teenaged girls," Envy said as he got out of the pool. JAM sighed.
'They never learn do they?" Lali asked.
"Yup. Jamie?" Michi said. Jamie got an evil grin and Winry's wrench popped into her hand.
"Wow, I'm so afraid of a wrench," Envy said.
"You will be," Jamie said as she clobbered Envy and sent him flying right through the force field.
"I didn't know Jamie had the power to go through the force field," Michi said.
"Wow," Lali awed. The fma crew looked at Jamie frightened. While the fma crew was still in their little shocked phase, Jamie observed the positions of the fma characters. She noticed that Ed was right next to the pool, where the deep end was. Jamie crept up behind him without Ed noticing and pushed him into the pool.
"AHHH! WHAT THE HELL! JAMIE!' Ed yelled.
"Yes?" Jamie asked innocently.
"DON'T PLAY INNOCENT!" Ed yelled as he tried to keep himself above water (I know he probably would have drowned already, but go with me people).
"I'm not, I'm acting," Jamie said.
"UGH! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! LALI, YOU'RE THE LIFE GUARD! HELP ME!" Ed yelled.
"Don't worry Ed the life saver is on the way," Lali said as she opened a life saver bag and threw a gummy at Ed. It bounced off his head and started floating on the water.
"WHAT KIND OF LIFE SAVER IS THAT?" Ed yelled as his head kept on dunking underwater and coming back up again.
"It's really good. You should try it," Michi said as she took one and popped it into her mouth.
"JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I REALLY DROWN!" Ed yelled.
"Way ahead of you," Lali said as she held a huge net. While the commotion was going on, she managed to make a huge net with the remote. Lali dunked the net in and pulled Ed out. When Ed was dropped onto the floor, he was gasping for breath and then he fainted.
"BROTHER?" Al yelled as he went over to his brother.
"Move aside, life guard coming through," Lali said. Lali put her ear next to Ed's mouth. "He's breathing, no need for the pump." Ed woke up a few minutes later and shot a glare at Jamie. Jamie had an innocent grin on her face. Ed was still glaring.
"Well, that's enough excitement at the pool for now. Who wants snacks?" Michi asked. Ed stopped glaring at Jamie and jumped up.
"SNACKS!" Ed yelled.
"Ok…" Lali said.
"It's over there," Michi said as she pointed to a long table not too far away. The fma crew began walking over there.
"You have it ready?" Lali asked Michi. Michi nodded as she held something behind her back. Jamie smirked at their plan.
Sorry that it's late again. I just wasn't in the mood this weekend, even though I think this was one of the most easiest chapters to make. I think next chapter will be easy too because I had it planned since chapter 2 or 3. I'm pretty sure to get a lot of writing this week because of Thanksgiving break.