Disclaimer: I own nothing my friends!

Lost In Sadness

JJ stared at Spencer wide eyed after the phone call ended. Nobody moved. Everyone just stared at him. He looked at the floor, as if it was incredibly interesting. His eyes had dark bags under them which looked far more pronounced in this light. His feet were bare and out of proportion with the baggy hospital clothing he wore. His hair was even more ruffled than before.

And of course, he was shaking. She wasn't sure why though, as it seemed it wasn't solely because of the withdrawal. No, it looked like he was holding in sobs. He looked like he was falling apart. But he was trying to be brave. God, why did he always try and do that? Nobody would care if he broke down. Although, he seemed to think they would.

Still, nobody had spoke. The silence was too thick. Almost thick enough that you could visibly feel it. Other than Henry's sleeping breath every few seconds. It was one of those moments where nobody had the balls to say anything, because they'd be the one who disturbed the silence. And it wasn't to be disturbed. It was one of those times where everyone breathed very silently, and even if they were uncomfortable, they didn't move, or even shift because they couldn't make any noise, or draw the attention to them.

Instead, they all looked at Reid very accusingly. And apprehensively. JJ knew she shouldn't be. That's the first thing you don't do with a drug addict. But god she just couldn't help it.

What on earth had he just done? He had flat out lied to Emily. He was here because of her. He was going through withdrawal because of her. And he comes up with this bullshit about being knocked out? What would she do when she found out? When she returns and sees that this was obviously not something an unsub did? Or would he find a way around it? What on earth could he possibly do?

Nobody dared to say anything. It had been a few tense minutes, but nobody had the guts to speak. Not even Morgan. Not even Hotch. Not even herself. No, JJ was too scared to say anything. What could she say anyway? First of all, words were failing her right now. Second of all, she wasn't sure she had a voice anymore.

She looked back at Reid, and suddenly noticed something. His shoulders were quivering. Maybe it was her maternal instincts kicking in, but she looked closer at his face, which was still turned downwards. With a pang of her heart, she realized he was holding in tears. One or two had slid down his cheek already. His mouth was twitching with held back cries.

Suddenly the overpowering silence disappeared for her, as her caring took hold. She managed to make her legs move, and one second she was stepping forward with all eyes on her, and the next she was in front of Spencer.

Quickly, not hesitating, she pulled him into the tightest hug she had ever given. Guilt was driving her mad, but she pushed it aside and she ran her hand up and down on his vibrating back. It may have been strange, but JJ suddenly felt even closer to Reid. He was like a little boy, crying in her arms. But he was her little boy.

His silent cries suddenly ended with a large sniff, and the silence was broken for everyone else as well. They came rushing forwards, Penelope first, Morgan second. Both put a hand on his back, from what JJ could see with her head buried in his shaking shoulder. She heard Garcia begin to cry and sensed that Morgan was tearing up too. She shifted her head to see that Kevin had his arm around Penelope as she cried.

And suddenly JJ realized she was crying too. Her vision was blurred and her eyes stung with held back sorrow. She wanted to do more for her best friend. She needed to. But... jesus what the hell could she?

There was only one thing she knew how to do. Be a mom.

"Shhh, Spencer. It's okay." She whispered, so low only he could hear it. Even though he normally hated being treated as a child, somehow he didn't care this time. She felt him squeeze her tighter.

And she only had one thought running through her mind; this was all her fault.

XXX

Will watched from the side as JJ led Spencer back to his room. He had stayed on the ground with sleeping Henry in his arms, knowing it wasn't his place to comfort the man. Sure, he was close to him, but not nearly as close as the team.

After JJ and Spencer had gone, the team sat down and stared at the floor. That damn silence started again, and Will became very, very uncomfortable. He began shifting Henry ever so slightly, hoping he'd wake up. Thank god, after a few moments he opened his eyes.

Being the kid he was, he didn't know not to interfere with the sad silence.

"Dad, can I have juice?" He asked, and he seemed much louder than he was.

"For sure, little buddy. Let's go down to the cafeteria, okay?" Will said, and ignored the team members looking at him.

"What's a cafaperia?" Henry asked, and Will tried not to laugh.

"You'll see." He replied and stood up, picking up Henry and propping him up on his hip.

"Anyone want anything?" Will asked, but everyone stayed silent. Only Garcia looked up. Rossi twitched, but didn't move, or speak.

"That means no daddy."

...

Will bought Henry a grape juice, and himself a large black coffee. He needed a lot of energy. Though he was aware of everything around him, his mind only thought about Emily.

He was surprised JJ didn't tell him. In fact, he was surprised she had been able to lie like that. Not so much that she can't keep a secret, but more that her morals usually stop her from doing something so horrible. He knew she had to, for their safety and Prentiss' but... it still shocked him.

Even more so, the fact that she was alive and okay. He went to her funeral not so long ago, and now he was speaking on the phone with her. That was something he never thought would happen. Ever. Nobody did, he was sure.

He'd only met Emily Prentiss a few times. She came to some of Henry's parties, and babysat for him once. She was a beautiful woman. With long, raven black hair and particularly mesmerizing eyelashes. Not that Will was looking of course; he loved JJ more than everything. But the last hour had made him visualize her in his mind, over and over and over.

"Daddy look! An airplane!" Henry said amusedly as he used his juice box straw as a makeshift plane, flying it all around his head, managing to drop a few droplets directly onto his white shirt.

"Henry, you're gonna ruin your shirt! Come on now, Mommy won't be very happy with you." Will told him, and Henry giggled.

"Just drink the juice!" Will suggested playfully, and helped him put the straw back where it belonged.

"Dad, does this mean Auntie Emmie is okay?" Henry asked, causing Will to fumble with his coffee cup. He hadn't seen that one coming.

"I thought you were asleep Henry." Will said, wondering how the hell his son had heard, and above all understood their conversation.

"No." He said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "So is she?"

"Um, yes. She's fine." Will tried to say without his voice catching. How was he supposed to answer something like that?

"But you and mommy said she was gone!" He insisted, and Will sighed, taking Henry's hand.

"Well Mommy thought she was. But it turns out she was just on vacation." He said, hoping that would satisfy his curious son.

Henry seemed to be okay with that answer, and went back to his juice. Will sighed, and took a sip of his coffee.

"Then why didn't she send me a postcard?" Henry asked curiously, and Will choked on his drink.

He coughed for a second then looked at his son, who was looking at him intensely for an answer.

"Uh, she was very busy with work. Just like your mommy and daddy are." Will explained.

"But vacation is when you don't work daddy." Henry said, and Will clenched his fingers together. Crap. He's walked right into that one.

"This was a different kind of vacation Henry. On Emily's vacation, she gets to go to Paris, but still works so she can buy food and other things." Will said, just rolling with whatever came to mind.

"Oh. But if she bought food, why couldn't she send me a postcard?" Henry asked, and Will just looked at him.

"I don't know. She was busy buddy. Now finish up your juice. Would you like some fruit too?" Will asked and Henry nodded hungrily. Her didn't blame him, the kid hadn't eaten in quite some time.

"Okay, let's get some. And maybe bring some food up to everyone else, just from you?" Will asked, and Henry nodded again.

"But you have to tell them it's from me!" Henry said excitedly.

"Of course I will."

...

Fifteen minutes later, they were walking back to the elevators, a box of muffins in Will's hands and a bag of juice and pop cans in Henry's. Will pressed the button, and turned around to smile at his son.

A movement from the side of his sight caught his eye and he looked up, to see a group of people walking in the hospital doors. They all looked extremely worried, much the same as he, JJ and the rest of the team had looked just a while ago.

Will watched them for a second, and then looked back at the door as a single woman walked in. Her heels clicked on the tiles and her skirt was long and tailored. In fact, her whole outfit just about screamed professionalism and superiority.

He almost dropped the box of muffins when he came to the realization. That wasn't just any woman. That was Erin Strauss.

Shit.

Will acted on instinct and grabbed Henry's hand pulling him along the hallway. His son asked aloud as to why they were leaving, but all Will did was pull open his phone and click the number one speed dial.

Within one dial tone she picked up.

"Will? Why are you calling?" JJ asked anxiously.

"Strauss is here." He said quickly.

"What?"

"What do I do?" He asked frantically, noticing as Strauss checked in with a receptionist.

"Shit...fuck...distract her! For as long as you can!" JJ yelled into the phone, and hung up on him.

Great.

Will grabbed Henry again, and muttered something about 'meeting a nice lady from mommy's work' to keep him at bay. He dragged him towards her, and she didn't notice them until they were mere feet from her.

"Hello Mrs Strauss. I'm Will, JJ's husband. And this is our son Henry." He said nervously, stalling for more time. Henry waved at her with the hand Will had just released.

Strauss looked at him warily, and it was quite obvious she was judging him. Her eyes wandered to Henry, as if he was an annoyance. Will bit his tongue as to not offend her.

XXX

"Strauss is downstairs, Will's stalling him." JJ said as she rushed into the waiting room.

"Fuck."

"Oh my god."

"Already?"

"She couldn't have noticed the system changes already!"

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me."

So! REVIEW!

I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR THE WAIT I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU! I WROTE THIS AGES AGO BUT IT GOT DELETED, AND I HAVE 4 OTHER STORIES ON THE GO, and you know, its summer so I have a little bit of a life...

PLEASE REVIEW AND FORGIVE ME :'(

xo