A/N: Based on the reviews, is it safe to say that the previous chapter was a little too frustrating for some people's tastes? (Might have lost reader/s because of it). It's alright. :) And I still appreciate the fact that some of you even gave this cliched trope a shot before deciding to bid the story adieu.

And for the people who decided to stick around and see what happens next, I'm grateful. *bows deeply* I can't thank you enough for reading, faving, following, and leaving insightful reviews into this current mess that is CC and Lelouch's complicated relationship in ODatAT.

Rest assured that this story's plot has been outlined and planned out right from the start. We're close. But not enough yet.

I hope you have a pleasant time reading this~ :)

Chapter 13: All My Regrets

"You're an idiot! You're a FU**KING IDIOT! For some reason, I'm smarter than you all of a sudden."

Suzaku couldn't resist screaming like a madman after hearing his friend's poor excuses. He didn't even mind the fact that he just got served with a story that was too much to process in one go. The problem was that Lelouch was a shitty idiot who couldn't read between the lines when it was clear as day to everyone that he and CC were attached to each other far more than best friends should be.

He had been seeing it from the very beginning, even before Lelouch began dating Shirley. In his own defense, there wasn't a lack of pieces of advice and honest opinions from him on the matter, but did either of them listen?

Of course not! They were too logically inclined for their own good…

And clearly not communicating well enough if they both managed to land themselves in this shitty mess. And what a mess it was indeed.

So, apparently, after a year of dating Shirley (and convincing everybody that he was happy with her), Lelouch somehow realized his standing feelings for CC. And instead of fixing his problems with Shirley first and breaking it off properly, this raven-haired idiot was too intimidated by the fact that CC wasn't interested in a relationship. So he resorted to hiding his feelings behind the lie that CC had a secret admirer that used him as a messenger for his love letters. The wooing was going splendidly as what Suzaku had heard, and only in the middle of it did vi Britannia find the sense to end his relationship with Shirley. (At the very least, he did one thing right). And then Gino joined the picture, was genuinely interested in earning CC's affection, asked her out, and it led to Lelouch moping miserably in Suzaku's apartment while the two were nursing hangovers from the previous night.

"I'm fully aware, Suzaku. You don't need to rub it in." Lelouch grumbled unhappily as he took sips from his water bottle.

"What the hell are you even still doing here? Call her and get her back."

"Are you encouraging me to be rude on top of being a fool?"

Suzaku was still staring at his friend with an incredulous expression. Lelouch was nothing if not eloquent even in the face of misery. Perhaps even more so in the face of misery, to be honest. In spite of the raging headache that he was sure to be feeling at this moment, his friend still found it in him to protect his pride.

Shaking his head in utter exasperation at Lelouch's annoyed quips, he said, "No. What I'm saying is that you need to fix this today. Not another moment longer. If you really love her like you say you do, then you'd better man up and get her."

A brief yet heavy silence blanketed them both; a silence where Suzaku had resorted to drinking water from a bottle and popping two pills into his mouth to get rid of the headache. Lelouch sat still on one of the armchairs, eyes closed and forehead creased from frowning far too much.

And just when the brunette thought that Lelouch wouldn't comment any further on the pressing issue, he spoke up — albeit a little too quietly.

"And if she's happy being with him?"

For the umpteenth time in a single day, Suzaku found himself resisting the urge to tear his hair out.

"Gah! Lelouch, it's been a mystery to everybody that you and CC aren't dating! Apparently everyone else can see and you two are blind! She's happy with you. In the same way that you're happier when you're with her." Gesticulating wildly and not caring that he looked positively ridiculous, Suzaku continued. "This right here is proof that you're dying on the inside with just the thought of losing the opportunity to be with her. If you're so invested in your feelings, then you're going to take every chance to let her know — no matter how slim that chance is going to be."

"She's convinced that it's him." Lelouch protested weakly, cradling his smarting head as every nerve seemed to pound alarmingly.

"To be fair, she is grasping at straws with no real leads." Suzaku shrugged.

What was Lelouch so hesitant of doing? If he was worried about CC's genuine happiness, Suzaku didn't think the man had a reason to worry.

But then again, how was he so sure that Lelouch told him the whole story? Going by that logic, it would be easy to assume that the rest of the issue was something he and the confused girl had to untangle for themselves.

Lelouch sighed deeply as he clasped his hands below his chin, staring down at Suzaku's rug like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Gino likes her. If CC pops the question about a bunch of my stupid letters, he will own up to it." God, just the thought of it happening inevitably was enough to quadruple the headache and intensify the emotional anguish. "What idiot wouldn't with an opportunity like that?"

Suzaku sighed at Lelouch's bitter remarks. It's true that it was a possibility, but if Suzaku knew Gino Weinberg at all, it was that he was a genuine individual who had zero intentions to harm other people. Besides, the little side effect Lelouch pointed out was just another consequence for his actions. Frankly speaking, vi Britannia had no choice but to live with that knowledge and let it haunt him until the full truth was revealed.

Still, Suzaku hated not reassuring people — especially if he was certain about particular facts.

"Lelouch, I know Gino. Give him some credit. He's ballsy and will do anything to woo a girl if he's got a chance with her—"

"You're not helping!" Lelouch cut him off midway into the sentence and tried to interrupt, but Suzaku held up a hand.

"Hear me out! He's not a bad person. He wouldn't steal someone else's girl. And since you didn't lay claim to courting CC, any admirer she has is fair game to you."

Lelouch was straight up just scowling now, but Suzaku pressed on, ignoring the fact that the other man was shooting daggers at him through striking violet eyes.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat stuff, and you're not going to like this. Your delays are what led to this in the first place. It's what brought CC confusion. It's what hurt Shirley. It's what's driving me nuts! And it's about to get ugly with Gino too. This is your mistake. But like what you told me, Lelouch. Mistakes can be fixed. It's high time you start taking your own advice."

As much as Lelouch didn't appreciate his pride getting trampled on, he couldn't deny the truth of what Suzaku had uttered. Couldn't deny its validity and its morality. He knew from the beginning that his actions could have unsavory consequences. And while he certainly did his part to — as much as possible — avoid errors and discrepancies, he still hadn't foreseen the circumstance that Fate had thrown his way, and it led to this.

To think, that all of it could have been avoided if he had just come right out at the beginning with an iron will. Times like this he was reminded all over again that his spontaneity and his pride served as both a strength and a weakness.

There were little paths to choose from now, and all he knew was that he had to press onward. And face whatever was going to wait for him in the end, knowing full well that whatever it was going to be, it was the ultimate result of his doing.

It didn't mean he had to like his current situation any more than he should…

Lelouch looked up when Suzaku squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, and all the disgruntled man could do was chuckle miserably.

"Hm. I never thought I'd see the day Suzaku Kururugi would be chastising me about matters of the heart."

Suzaku released an uneasy laugh. "Even people like you need somebody knocking you to your senses once in a while. That goes for CC as well."

Lelouch tried to smile, but it instantly left his face at the thought of what he had yet to encounter.

Whatever would happen would happen… He just had to live with it…

vVvVv

Today and last night had been… hectic to say the least. So much went on in such a short span of time that she was so inclined to liken the experience to a gag-inducing ride on some extreme roller coaster. Waking up to the outdoors with morning dew on her hair this morning had been an uncomfortable experience. Couple that with migraines courtesy of a hangover and the sight of her best friend passed out beside her as they were both sprawled beside his car, and she had herself a recipe for what-the-f**k.

CC only thanked her lucky stars that both Suzaku and Gino had found them not long after; the two boys, no strangers to the after effects of the alcohol from last night. Still dazed and too focused on her own headache, she really failed to take in the details of what last night's rowdy party had done to Gino's house. At that one singular moment, they had all been determined to do one thing: head home and sleep away the hangover some more.

Nevertheless, she still found herself waking up at late noon to Mirage nudging her arm with a wet nose because she was hungry. Part of her had wanted to call Suzaku or Lelouch to see if they were alright, but in favor of accommodating her own physical pains, decided to put off the call until later, when her head wasn't pounding and when she felt less icky.

Getting herself together and attending to her body's needs had come first, and now that it was over with, CC found herself focusing on the other aspect of the party's aftermath. Which involved her mulling over the interactions she'd had last night. Well, with what she could properly recall anyway, since some bits were hazy, and she wasn't sure if she had dreamt some of them or they actually happened.

CC paused briefly in the middle of applying her makeup as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, hardly unable to believe what she was about to do.

Here she was with mental and emotional messes she still had sort through, but against it all, she was prepping herself for tonight's excursion — which only came about after she had taken Gino Weinberg up on his offer to go out on a date. He'd asked her about it last night while they were both having a great time just talking, and even went as far as to ask if she was still down to do it one of these days via text message this afternoon.

Despite the slight ache caused by the hangover, and little to no rest, she had accepted the offered date way too quickly. Now whether Gino noticed it or not, she didn't know.

CC wanted to give him a fair chance if he was really her secret admirer — as she had blatantly expressed to a drunk and dumbfounded Lelouch last night, but she knew in her heart that she only agreed to this to shut Gino's courting down as early as possible.

Weinberg wasn't a bad guy, by any means. He was decent. And she was sure that some other girl would snatch him up one day. But it just wasn't going to be her… For plenty of reasons other than shallow excuses like personal preference and taste.

No matter how cute some of his pick-up lines had been. He certainly had a way with words if he could make her heart flutter so compulsively whenever she'd read his wandering notes.

CC honestly didn't understand herself…

Here she was outwardly proclaiming that she wanted no part in romantic affairs between men and women, and yet, when the love letters started coming, she was as riveted with them as any other girl would-be.

But to be fair, who wouldn't be?

For all her professions of finding courting and romance, in general, as something cheesy, even she couldn't resist the allure of the fact that out of the seven billion people in the world, there was one soul who was willing to confess his attraction to her — secret or no. But now that the perpetrator of those love letters was finally revealed, a part of her was slightly disappointed in herself that after all the effort, Gino had put, all she could give him in return was a gentle let down of his feelings.

If he was the one sending her all those letters that is… She had no solid confirmation yet, and she had tried texting Lelouch about it only to receive no reply. But still—

It was just sad that the reason why she wouldn't be able to like him right off the bat (even if he had been sweet enough to give her Mirage) was because of her own standing affection for someone else. She didn't want him, because her loyalty had always been to Lelouch.

But Lelouch liked someone else, didn't he?

He was still in love with Shirley, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. He was just confused and upset.

Finishing up her natural look for tonight, she nodded at herself in the mirror, proud to have done a decent job of not looking like a hungover and drowned individual. She glanced at her phone that was still in the middle of charging and took note of the time as half past seven just as the notable sound of the car engine purred outside, and her phone lit up with a text message.

I'm here~ :D

Oh, hell! Feelings or no, what was it about first dates that made people nervous?

She wasn't giddy, by any means. Her stomach was just twisting and turning with the knowledge that she was about to lay someone's efforts to waste. Sighing, she glanced at her puppy who was still busy snuggling in CC's sweater and falling asleep. She let her wandering gaze linger over the room for some odd reason before she scratched her comfortable pet behind her fluffy white ears, unplugged her charger, and left the house to face the admirer she had been wanting to meet.

vVvVv

The date so far… It wasn't phenomenal. It wasn't great. It didn't drive her nerves crazy with anticipation for what could unfold at the end of the night. It just all felt so… casual. And platonic.

She had to give Gino props for doing his best to make her comfortable though. As friendly as the tone of this 'date' was, CC admired Gino's way of talking to people. There was never an awkward pause in their conversations so far. Because where CC was unwilling to initiate conversation, Gino could talk up a storm. And she was glad to be a listener.

He was also ordering a crap ton of food. But there was plenty of pizza-themed variations to her meal, so she wasn't complaining. It simply meant the kid did his research.

Part of her wondered if Weinberg had called up her best friend to ask for pointers before he took her out. And if he was the admirer, he likely had. Also, speaking of Lelouch, the drunken moron still wasn't replying to her messages. And now she was just more eager to drop by his place tonight to see if he was still alive. For all his doting over Nunnally and Rolo, Lelouch really sucked at taking care of himself properly; hence, Marianne checking in on her son in person every now and then.

"To be honest, I was actually thinking of taking you out maybe next week. Or whenever you're not feeling crappy." Gino chuckled nervously before shoving a mouthful of fries into his mouth. "I know I am."

The smile she offered up was tepid at best — the beginning of complete honesty. "I guess I'm just eager to see if there's a real chance or not."

Gino hummed thoughtfully and flashed her a smile. "There isn't, is there?"

Well, she didn't see that response coming. Perceptive and frank. Two traits that she could appreciate. If she wasn't so skeptical about letting people into her life, she would even go so far as to say that Gino would make a great friend one day.

So CC didn't bother holding back either. If he was going to be upfront with her, then she'd gladly return the sentiment.

"No, there's not. Sorry."

"It's cool." Gino laughed to himself after sipping on his iced tea. "I'm just glad I had the balls to actually ask you out and try, you know. So thank you for not shooting me down right off the bat."

She finished up the last bit of pizza roll she had on her plate, and just smiled at Gino and his honesty.

"We are friends after this right?" Was the hopeful and sudden reply — like he was thinking twice about asking her about that matter or not. "I mean, I do like you and I think you're a really cool upper class man, and I don't want you to think of me as just another guy who's asked you out at some point."

Inwardly, CC was amused. He certainly had a way of coming on too strong sometimes, but now she could understand why so many women at the University were falling on their faces just wanting Gino's attention. How she saw him interact with others in public was the same way he was treating her right now. So, if there was one thing she was totally sure about, right now, it was the fact that Gino deserved someone so much better.

At the thought of why she was here and what they were even doing, CC smiled sadly.

"Well, I won't be shrugging you off like the others the next time at least. And I need you to tell me one thing."

"Shoot."

"Were you sending me these?" She asked, revealing the latest letter she'd received and laying it out flat on the table right between them.

And there it was in all its glory — spidery script on a piece of stiff stationary paper, black ink glimmering under the low light as it seemingly winked at CC. Her gaze wandered away from the incriminating piece of paper to her companion's face, silently taking note of every emotion that displayed across it rapidly. Among others, confusion stood out the most.

For a moment, it almost seemed like the noise in the diner was nothing. And just when she was about to prompt him for a proper response, he spoke up with a dastardly smile that wasn't entirely genuine.

"If this means I would have gotten better chances with you, I wish I did."

I wish I did… I wish. I did.

It was so stupid — the way she was seemingly slowly processing each word that fell out of his lips. If he wasn't her admirer, then who—

"Are you still getting them?" Gino asked carefully, suddenly feeling like he had to walk on egg shells, and CC felt sorry that she had put him under an intentional spotlight.

To be fair, this wasn't how she had foreseen it. She was supposed to pop the question, he was going to own up, she'd tell him her piece, thank him for the dinner, be done with it, and move on with her life. But this, and the party, and everything that had gone down with Lelouch— Oh god, the party.

There were more questions than answers, and it was confusing and frustrating and upsetting, and— and—

"It's a long story." She managed to say, sliding the paper out of the table and now feeling like she had just embarrassed herself in front of the people she cared about the most. "But in a nutshell, I was supposed to get one of these once a day. I was expecting one to come in today in the mail or through… whoever. But there weren't any."

Gino gave her his signature grin. His attempt, she knew, at lighthearted banter. "Were you hoping it was me?"

"Can the ego." CC sighed, unimpressed with his jokes but understanding why he was taking a stab at injecting humor. This entire confrontation (from the moment she'd asked about the letters he'd never made or sent, apparently) was just one messy situation she'd dropped in their platonic get-together. "I assumed. Since none came yesterday and today and you just asked me out last night. Just the timing of it all."

She didn't mention the way he treated her so nicely last night, the way he expressed himself, and how he had come onto her too boldly under the influence of alcohol. The timing was just too coincidentally perfect. Like it was some sick joke to play.

"It really wasn't you, was it?"

Gino pursed his lips. "As golden as this opportunity is to own up to someone else's moves, I'm not like that. It wasn't me, CC. But god, I wish it was. Do you like this guy? Whoever he is?"

"I don't know…"

And she truly really didn't.

"I thought I had the answer. But I don't really know."

She huffed, disappointed with herself and her stupidity, so she grabbed for another mini-pizza roll instead and bit into it.

The letters have stopped coming. Today was supposed to be the last day before she was set to meet whoever the hell he was tomorrow. Where were the two other clues to this giant puzzle? It was not fair that her stupid admirer could leave her hanging like this and drop something on her the next day. Which was why she needed to get in touch with Lelouch as soon as possible, and finally put her foot down.

She was just so tired of guesswork. Tired of trying to sort out her own independent feelings. Tired of this admirer refusing to reveal his identity because he was too intimidated by her. This whole thing with Gino. And then the issue with Shirley and Lelouch. And how could she forget last night? The rest of the party may have been a blur, but her little tryst with Lelouch was clear as day. And that placed another layer that she had to sort through. After his breakup with Shirley, where did that leave her and her best friend now? Was it proper to fall back on old patterns, and pick up where they'd left off? Should she just come right out and spit her feelings at him? But what about that admirer?

Damn it all to hell because Lelouch was involved in that too.

Lelouch Lelouch Lelouch. What the hell was going on?!

God, her week was just a hydra metaphor. Cutting off one head only for another to grow back in its place.

What a stupid joke!

Still inwardly drowning in her own anxiety and confusion, she kept on munching on the pizza roll — almost aggressively. The rest of the so-called date would pass over her head. And even now, when Gino was busy telling her that he hoped things would work out in the end, she could hardly react.

Yes, she hoped things would work out in the end. And that end should come sooner rather than later.

Because after this date, she would be marching straight to Lelouch's place to demand answers to a large part of this charade.

And the heavens pity the poor unfortunate soul who would be daft enough to stand in her way.

A/N: Speculations on CC's next move right after this may be correct or incorrect. We'll know soon, won't we?

It's boiling. And it's about to tip over.

Also, the movie o_o gorgeous