How To Torture Mello 13. Or something.
I am SO very sorry for the insanely long hiatus. I have an excuse- my laptop that I usually write my stories on crashed, and now I'm reduced to typing on our big PC…which currently is broken. I'm writing this on my dad's company laptop, so forgive me if I don't get many more chapters in for a while.
Now where was I?
--
The next morning began with a bang.
Literally.
Roger ran out in his dressing gown and slippers to the garage. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" he screamed wildly.
No one answered, because no one was there.
He opened the garage door and nearly choked from the smoke. As soon as he could breathe again, Roger looked inside…and caught sight of a bar of chocolate on the floor.
Roger's eye began to twitch.
--
"Wow, did you hear that?" asked Matt as he plunked his pillows onto his newly made bed.
"Yeah," replied Mello with a smirk. "Great idea, huh?"
"I'd have never thought of it…"
The blonde reached for his comb and began running it through his hair as he mused, "Well…Raito needs to be tortured some more…Near can help us, I guess…hair tonic? Nah…"
There was a sudden BANG as the door flew open.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed Mello as he dove over his bed to huddle behind Matt.
The sight that greeted them from the open door was not a happy one.
--
Raito got up, yawned luxuriously, and muffled his face in his pillow for a few seconds as his brain revved up. "Goooood morning, Misa," he said, standing up and walking over to the closet.
"Morning, Raito!! DID YOU HAVE A GOOD SLEEEEEP?!"
"…yes…"
"WONDERFULISCIOUS!!"
L came in quietly, nodding to Raito and Misa. "Did either of you hear a bang this morning?" he asked, sitting down carefully on the nearest couch.
"…No, not really."
"No, but last night I had a dream that a rhinoceros with wings ate all of my Pocky! I was so sad!"
"That's nice, Misa." replied L, inwardly cringing.
--
Roger stared at the two quivering teenagers in front of him. "YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE THE BEATING OF A LIFETIME, WRETCHED CHILDREN!!"
Mello and Matt exchanged glances before screaming shriller than Lost could ever hope to.
As Roger huddled down on the floor holding his ears, they leapt over him and ran out of the room faster than either of them deemed possible.
The chase was ON.
--
Near was about to go to breakfast when Mello, then Matt, ran by shrieking. They nearly knocked the sheep over, and he'd just managed to regain his balance when an insane fire-breathing Roger ran past bellowing like a mating hippopotamus.
Near was toppled over like a ninepin.
He cast a dirty look at Roger's retreating back before picking himself up and toddling over to the cafeteria.
--
Raito and L had finally gotten rid of Misa, telling her to "go down and keep the orphans busy." They had retreated back to L's rooms, and were about to engage in a very nosebleed-inducing makeout session when an enraged rhinoceros (oops, that's Roger) ran in bellowing and making a great deal of awful noise.
"…"
"ROOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!"
They stared at him for a few minutes, as he screamed and foamed at the mouth and did a strange "Rawr" dance that made L giggle.
Finally he calmed down a little, enough to cough out the words "Mello" and "Fireworks".
L's face went from giggly to dead serious in about two seconds. "…"
And in the next second, he was running down the stairs and joining the chase. Raito watched after him with a kind of glazed grin on his face before following after at breakneck speed.
--
Mello and Matt ran for their lives.
Across the dining table, across the soccer fields outside, through the girls' bathroom, and into a broom closet they ran, and finally stopped, panting. "Good GRACIOUS," wheezed Matt, taking off his goggles and fanning himself frantically. "I guess they found out it was us…"
"NO DUH, baka."
A sudden hush fell over them, as they heard L's voice yelling, "THAT-A-WAAAAAAAAAY!" followed by a rush of pattering footsteps.
They looked at eachother.
"Y'know, how in action movies when the hero's about to die?" asked Mello in a whisper.
"Yeah?" replied Matt.
"He kisses the girl." And with that Mello leaned in and began a makeout session with Matt.
They were still kissing as Raito opened the door with a flourish.
"They're in he- EEEEEW," he yelled triumphantly, his face going from evil-Kira-triumph to oh-my-god-two-boys-are-kissing-in-the-closet.
Matt and Mello looked up. "Hi there."
"…Have you two been taking lessons from L?"
"No, why?"
"It just looks…uh…no reason…"
"Right." And with that Mello and Matt quickly slipped out the door between Raito's legs.
"No, really- HEY! I CAUGHT YOU! YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY!!"
--
Near was busy making a dice tower when Matt and Mello ran in, quietly gestured to the sheep that he was to keep quiet, and hid under a sofa.
Ten seconds later, L ran in. "Hello, Near," he said, panting. "Did you see Matt or Mello run by?"
"…No, only Bask and Indigo."
"Alright then. You don't mind if I sit and watch you for a minute? I'm pooped."
"Go ahead," Near replied, and turned his attention back to his dice castle, inwardly counting down. Five…four…three…two…one.
There was another huge BOOM, a crackling of plaster, and in the resulting dust, Mello, Matt, and Near fled out of the playroom and into the older wing of Wammy's.
"Good show, Near!" whispered Matt as they ran.
--
Roger heard the boom and ran as fast as his old legs could carry him down to the playroom, where he found a shellshocked L and a ruined dice castle.
"L?" he asked, scared that the scruffy detective was scarred for life.
"WHERE. ARE. THOSE. KIDS?!" L yelled, jumping to his feet and somehow reminding Roger of Beyond Birthday.
So much so that Roger half-expected L to reach into his pocket and take out a jar of jam.
Raito ran in screaming and yelling like some sort of dervish, and wouldn't stop until Roger hit him stoutly on the head with his cane. "Where do we go now?" he asked, rubbing his head.
"The older building." L replied, and they ran off.
--
"Oh, CRAPBISCUITS."
The lights in the old wing had just gone out, leaving Matt, Mello, and Near in complete darkness.
"…"
"Near?"
"Yes?"
"Where are you?"
"Right here."
Poke poke poke.
"OHH kay."
"…!!"
"WHAT?!"
"EW, Matt!!"
"Near?!"
"Matt?!"
"WHAT DID YOU DO, MATT?!"
"…I…kissed him…"
Slap.
"HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME!!"
Slap.
"Okay! Okay! Near, I'm sorry!"
"You'd better be."
"…"
"…perv."
--
The end of the day found the trio sound asleep in B's old room, still running from the triple threat of L, Roger, and Raito/Kira.
--
L and Raito were curled up together on the floor. Roger regarded them with a strange look on his face, then walked over to the nearest couch and fell dead asleep.
--
I'M SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER!!1
SO SORRYYYYYYYY!!
.
I am a horrible authoress…keeping you on your toes for so long and then giving you this short piece of crap. Don't worry, though…more will be written as soon as our computer is fixed, or sooner if I can kidnap this laptop…or maybe write at school. Hmm…
Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed and got us to 201 reviews. I am AMAZED, peeps.
Happy whatever day. I hope y'all are likin' the new school year…(I am…sophomore year is the easiest, they say)…and having a ton of fun 'n' stuff.
Reviews make me smile.
-blake mckenzie-kurokawa-